First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.
OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
I think this all started with one guy giving a girl ten dollars. The repercussions of that is this apparent conversation where one person is berrating the other for this activity., It becames a never ending list of what if and accusations.
PLOT & CHARACTERS:
Rick and Blu having this conversation. The story seems to meander rather than follow a set course or plot..
First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.
OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
A poem that is a bit on the cute side. The fact that it is balanced in a lyrical fashion saves it from being boring.
SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
More poems that curl the lips into smiles would be appreciated. Keep writing you have more to share with us.
First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.
OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
The story has a basic statement that things having both poitive and negative aspects but it tends to lean toward the negative.
PLOT & CHARACTERS:
There does not seem to be a plot or characters specified.
SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
You should use a spelling and grammar check on your materials. You mispelled waves and had a a few other problems .
First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.
OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
I did not get the connection to copper and silk. I did get the realization that you are upset with the other person. While the poem is not lyrical it does read well.
SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
Get back to writing. I would love to see more poems from you.
First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.
OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
A very idyllic poem with a bit of a silly aspect to it. Many what if and interesting all the same.
First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.
OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
A cute little story that is a humerous interaction with a family whose children have left and now they have a dog that sheds a great amount of hair. The story moves in with the couple spending their time dealing with lint rollers to capture the hair.
PLOT & CHARACTERS:
The couple and their sixty pound dog or rather hair factory as it is referred in the text.
SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
Keep writing we nedd more light-hearted stories out there.
First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.
OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
A well told story and an interesting one, in which a new baby is being introduced into the family, There are feeling that David has which are not being picked up by his parents, David transposes some of his feeling on the dog shorty.
PLOT & CHARACTERS:
David the son, emily the daughter and the unnamed parents as well as shorty, the dog. The characterisation is centred around David and he essentially is the story. I can feel his concern and it makes the story interesting..
First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.
OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
A good story and it is well told. I enjoyed it very much. I would like to hear more stories like this .
PLOT & CHARACTERS:
A girl doing what she shouldn't and because of her a man dies and has to give his life for her. Mother's love is a common theme here. Character are well described.
First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.
OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
A short little limerick which is cute but has little content.
PLOT & CHARACTERS:
Straightforward presentation and a balanced format. Poetically correct.
First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.
OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
A good overview of the story from John Chapter 4. Jesus needed to meet that woman, that particular samaritian woman of questionable reputatation. He knew she would not come tot eh well in the morning or evening as most people would. She would only come in the heat of the day. Jese had sent his disciples away so he could talk to her about the Living Water he only could provide.
PLOT & CHARACTERS:
Jesus and samaritan woman in a meeting and discussion that was to change her life.
SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
Write more. There was more you could have writen about this meeting. Scripture is full of Jesus meeting people in their need. Write about them.
First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.
OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
That troublesome closet in the child's rrom.. We know that and under the bed are where those bedtime monsters come from. Too bad parents don't take the time. I have beem on both sides of this argument. it is an interesting if not humerous story.
PLOT & CHARACTERS:
little boy and his father with the support of the family dog who just wants to sleep. There are questions as to the possibility of a child eating moster as well. Typical plot at bedtime.
First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.
OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
It is a question that has been asked by any one who things about it. Great minds have troubled themselves with this concern, You have not gone any further is explaining or ensuring. However saying all that you have presented a reasonable idea of the problem in deciding what is love.
PLOT & CHARACTERS:
No characters and not a real plot just a nagging question for the ages.
First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.
OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
A synoptic overview of a bus ride from school to home. Usually like most similar rides they are a little boring. This story gives a little insight but not a lot. It is just a listing of events.
PLOT & CHARACTERS:
A girl riding home on the bus and a few characters who ride along that she notes. There is not real plot to this scenario.
First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.
OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
I guess if you like the thrill on the hunt. shooting rats in a garbage dump would possibly qualify. You certainly would not run out of targets very quickly. A nice twist. I applaude you invention.
PLOT & CHARACTERS:
Two hunters shooting rats at a garbage dump. A short vignette and it is quite intereseting.
SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
I found no spelling or grammatical errors in this short story.
First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.
OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
This is a tough story for me to review. I had trouble with following the plot line and action. I have that difficulty with all the ghost/supernatural stories. I think you tried to use italics to assist me in decipering. I do appreciate that you use a font and size that are readable. It seemed to me that the story was a little slow in getting moving. I want to share with a pet peeve I have with many erotic stories. All the eroticsim is placed in the last part of the story. Like that is the reason for the story. Eroticism should be in all of the story. In this story we find the same thing. The story ends quickly after the sexual interaction of the main characters.
PLOT & CHARACTERS:
I am familiar with the names of your characters. Do you always use the same names? I change mine in every story. the names may be the same but it doesn't mean they are the same as the previous stories.Taylor dies of cancer yet Lin stills feels his presence in some aspects that they shared. Lin goes to bed and it seems to what I can read that taylor is in her dream and takes her to venice where they had enjoyed romantic times previously.
The sexual action is reasonable and complete. It shows a combimned passion by both participants. Both characters are involved both physicallya and verbally in the sexual congress between the two. The mention of his cologne in the end is a nice touch.
SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
I could not see any any grammatical or spelling errors in this story. I apologize for my difficulty in being able to determine who was doing or saying what.
FINAL THOUGHTS:
Throw a sexual aspect in the beginning of the story . it can be as simple as the loving couple lying in bed for a bit of afterglow. I prefer the longer works because you have more time for plot and character development..
First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.
OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
Wouldn't it be great if all our business calls could end like that. You have created a great scenario and vivid characters to exist in the simple setting you have described. I reaaly enjoyed this story.
PLOT & CHARACTERS:
Working at home, having to take business calls Lin is getting frustrated. Taylor decides to give her relief in the form of a massage and more. There is a vivid description particularly that of the cunnilingus. Taylor is made an expert at the hands of a female writer who knows about a woman's needs and wants. Well done.
SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
While a quickie can be okay to meet some needs I prefer longer bouts of dealing with the erotica. Looking forward to reading longer stories. I hope there are some in your portfolio because I intend to raid it. Write more.
FINAL THOUGHTS:
Keep writing. I want to hear more about Lin and Taylor.
First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.
OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
Interesting a poem where almost every line has the same rhyme. It is a plea to be spoken too. There is a desperate need for one to share with another. I enjoyed the poem.
PLOT & CHARACTERS:
A not so silent plea to be understood and to understand.
SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
Write more poems of this quality. It is a good poem. I would like to see more.
First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.
OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
Great poem written with feeling. It puts to my mind the washing of hands by Lady McBeth in the Shekespearean classic. Water does not wash away sin. The stains of blood can be removed from hands and clothing but not from the heart and mind.
PLOT & CHARACTERS:
One person has killed another. Blood has flowed. Trying to clean up it is obvious that the stain of blood can never be removed..
SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
Write more. This is a good poem. We need to have more of this calibre.
First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.
OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
A good poem. Let me say first that I enjoyed it.. It also struck chords within my spiritual life. I most enjoyed the way the poem flowed as you will see in my comments on lyrical quality.
LYRICAL QUALITY:
I most enjoy poem that rhyme. Perhaps because I realize the challenge to keep the metre and find just the right word to give the poem the sense of flow so very needed. You have accomplished that very beautifully in this poem. It has a nice tone and flow when it is red aloud.
First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.
OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
A fantasy story about what appears fo a charcater that is half man and half dragon. It is a combat scene where Cathyn is tring to rescue Ariana. Colour seems to be an important element of the story , It seems in the end he fails.
PLOT & CHARACTERS:
This seems to a portion of a larger story so there is little character development or plot. There is a lot of action and the reason for it seems to free Arianna from a hunter.
SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
Portions of stories that need expllanation leave the reader with a document which means little to him.
FINAL THOUGHTS:
Keep writing and have a happy anniversary.
First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.
OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
A favourite theme of many men. I wonder if women get as turned on by it. You have covered the action of this story in a very complete manner. The scene is presented and the passion and the lust of the two participants is obvious by their actions and limited dialogue. i enjoyed the way you presented the action.
PLOT & CHARACTERS:
Lina and Taylor are the two horney characters. While they role play two teenagers Ipresume they are not which does make it more enticing. The time Lina spends preparing and waiting in anticpation if well done. I particularly enjoyed this story probably because it is also one of my fantasies as well.
SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
Write longer pieces. Your talent is wasted on the quickies. I particularly enjoyed this sentence "One hand slid down her stomach finding her nub, flicking and circling it as she went over, the orgasm slamming through her hard and fast, shuddering and gripping his shaft until he groaned his release, holding her tight against him." I also like she is allowed her turn which leaves this story open for another selection.
First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.
OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
Good premise for this poem. Too bad other do not feel that way. If they would respect other's feeling then they might think twice.
LYRICAL QUALITY:
Not a big rhyming poem as it is one just with deep meaning and important message.
First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.
OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
You wrote your poem in paragraph format but I think it would be more effective in the tradition verse style, The style is very forboding.
SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
Demons was misspelled twice. The poem has good tone when it is read aloud.
First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.
OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
Interesting story about a man who wants to make a change in those less fortunate by getting them out of the cold in the winter. His company has an empty warehouse and the protagonist gets his boss to let him use it as a shelter. Good story.
PLOT & CHARACTERS:
Joe is the man with a social conscoince. He gets the permission to use the warehouse as a temporary shelter.
First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.
OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
A lot of great images. Don't leave them like that. Take one or two of these delightful objests and tie them into a story. I sense that there are many stories there just waiting to leap out.
PLOT & CHARACTERS:
No real plot jus t descriptions of some some great setting. The man who narrates and his grandfather. You miss you grandfather. Make us miss him too. Write a story where he is the main character and place him in this delightful setting.
SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
Don't stop now. Get at it. We need you to write that story that only you can write.
FINAL THOUGHTS:
Keep Writing and enjoy your anniversary..
dblameck
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile.php/reviews/dblameck/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/44
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.78 seconds at 11:37am on Jul 05, 2024 via server web2.