*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile.php/reviews/dblameck/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/49
Review Requests: OFF
3,599 Public Reviews Given
5,181 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
Previous ... 45 46 47 48 -49- 50 51 ... Next
1201
1201
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Brainstormers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Review of The stork with a mask

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work .I am doing this review to celebrate your anniversary as a meber of WDC. I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
While this is writen as prose in story format I feel it is just a poem what needs some massage and tender care to escape these confines for something better. so take your structure and revise it to a poetry format and I am sure you will be pleased with the result.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:
A single voice that wails alone looking for more.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
Like i said before, turn it into a poem.

FINAL THOUGHTS:
Keep writing and happy anniversary.


dblameck


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*
1202
1202
Review of Manipulation  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Brainstormers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Good poem. Now I know what you beg for. It's ice cream. Good writing.
1203
1203
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Review of Panther or Protector


First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
A good poem. I found it it exception when it is read aloud slowly and careful deliberation. I found the words romantic and passionate.


SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
Write more.

FINAL THOUGHTS:
A good poem which I enjoyed.

dblameck
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

1204
1204
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Review of A Friday Night surprise

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
This story does not meet the expectations. The sentence structure is poor and many sentences just run on and on jumping from one thought to another. One thought per sentence. Also use a larger font as this is extremely hard to read.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:
Jake and Izzy seem unrealistic characters. They are too sexual in their actions. The sexual action seems a but absurd.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
You wrote "the joke was that if you could not pull then then you were a failure and a joke." This sentence seems meaningless.
Spelling "no cusomers were in the shop" There were many others. Please take time to edit your work.

FINAL THOUGHTS:
This story needs work. So get to it.

dblameck
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

1205
1205
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Brainstormers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Still too few people for a valid selection.
1206
1206
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Brainstormers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Trying to get more people to vote in these polls.
1207
1207
Review of Upon the beach  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 18+ | (3.0)
Review of Upon the Beach

I selected your story/poem to be reviewed by me for the sharing of
others work on WDC. Thank you for allowing me to enjoy and review your work. The
feedback is meant only to encourage and inspire you to continue your talent. All
suggestions are that alone and formed from my opinion. I am not a professional, just a
lover of reading and writing.

 Narrative & Dialogue:
 While the story has some great descriptive passages in the opening paragraph, it quickly begins to fail as a continued narrative. The only dialogue appears at the very end of the story and does nothing to add to the story .

Form & Flow:
 Your story has a lot of good starters. The problem is they don't always seem to connect. It seems like you are trying to make each sentence a stand alone story, Make some of your sentences short and more concise. Variety helps with the flow. The sexual statements need to reviewed. I suggest you read some of the sentences aloud. I think when you do this you will see what I mean.

Imagery & Emotion:
The sex action is there but where is the passion that should go with it?

Suggestions & Typos:
There are a large amount of typos. Almost too many to mention. You need to use a spell check program or if you are using one then select a better one. Some of the spelling errors are "extreemly, peircing, uncasping, and roming"]

Overall Thoughts & Rating:
 I give you a 3.0 rating for this piece of work. It is currently just average. However if you correct the spelling and grammer and make your story more readable you can certainly up that score to a 4.0 or more. Thank you for sharing your work and talent.{c}

Star Rating
Tone & Mood 3.5
Plot & Characters 3.0
Technical Aspects 2.5
Use of Prompt 3.5
Blush Factor 3.5
Total Rating 3.0



Write on!



dblameck
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
1208
1208
Review of The Cab  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Review of The cab

I selected your story/poem to be reviewed by me because this is your anniversary
of joining WDC. Thank you for allowing me to enjoy and review your work. The
feedback is meant only to encourage and inspire you to continue your talent. All
suggestions are that alone and formed from my opinion. I am not a professional, just a
lover of reading and writing.
Narrative & Dialogue:
 You have done a good job with this area of your writing in such a short story
Since the story is mostly in dialogue it is often har to keep it flowing. Add to this the type of
conversation you might have in a cab. Well done with the dialogue.

Form & Flow:
 Your story was easy to follow and had no lag whatsoever from beginning to
finish.

Imagery & Emotion:
In the imagery area there was limited description. This could have turned this simple story into something more substantial.

The emotion that the young man expresses are not carried through by the cabbie but it does affect him. It brought a smile to my face,

Suggestions & Typos:
 I saw no grammatical or spelling errors in this story

Overall Thoughts & Rating:
 I give you a 4.0 rating for this piece of work. Thank you for sharing your work and
talent.{c}

Star Rating
Tone & Mood 4.0
Plot & Characters 3.5
Technical Aspects 4.0
Use of Prompt nil
Blush Factor 3.0
Total Rating 4.0



Write on!



dblameck

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*
1209
1209
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Brainstormers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Review of Keeper of my Heart


First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions. This review is being done to celebrate your anniversary as a writer on WDC.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
I think you almost used every word ending in "ing" in the dictionary. Very effective.

LYRICAL QUALITY:
I read the poetry aloud to see how it does. Poetry is meant to read aloud. this poem does well.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
None

FINAL THOUGHTS:
Have a good anniversary and get back to writing.

dblameck



*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*
1210
1210
Review of Silent Witness  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Review of Silent Witness

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions. This review is being done to celebrate your anniversary as a writer on WDC.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
Review of a child growing up through the eyes of the mirror. Clever approach. Story reaches the end with the girls being a teenager. A difficult time. My hope is that it continues to be a good story.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:
The mirror and the nameless girl. Mirror of course can only reflect. A young girl grows us and becomes a young lady.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
Write the next segement.

FINAL THOUGHTS:
Have a happy anniversary and keep writing.
dblameck
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **



*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*
1211
1211
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Review of Toilet Paper Periodicals

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions. This review is being done to celebrate your anniversary as a writer on WDC.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
What goes through your mind when you are standing in line at the grocery. This story is a good example to just that.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:
The thoughts in the mind of the shopper with only toilet paper to be purchased. Reading the magazines that assail the shopper.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
None that I can think of.

FINAL THOUGHTS:
Have a Happy Anniversary and keep writing.

dblameck
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **



*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*
1212
1212
Review of The Bridge  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Review of The Bridge

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
The beginning of the story is fine and rates very high. Once the weapons are gone and the fighting is over the story loses its creditability. I was waiting for them to exchange cell phone numbers. the last portion of the story needs more work.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:
Two Characters are well described and presented but the plot wears thin.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
Keep the characters in their character and not converting them to a pair of teenagers.

FINAL THOUGHTS:
Keep the original plot and fix the ending,


dblameck
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
1213
1213
Review of Afterparty  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Review of Afterparty

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions. This review is being done to celebrate your anniversary as a writer on WDC.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
Good scenario. It gives a little view of the possible story but leaves a lot to the imagination.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:
Woman imprisoned after a party. Bodily and possibly sexually abused.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
Write the rest of the story.

FINAL THOUGHTS:
Keep Writing and have a happy anniversary

dblameck
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **



*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*
1214
1214
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Review of Not your Average Cup of Coffee

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions. This review is being done to celebrate your anniversary as a writer on WDC.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
A quaint story with all the quirts of a tale that you hear knowing it isn't true and as it gets more and more into the improbable.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:
Special coffee that cost $100.00 a pot. The presentation of the story is done with a lot of flourishes.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
Story has been well edited.

FINAL THOUGHTS:
Was this coffee from the Easter or Western SideHill Wampus Civet. Keep writing and Happy anniversary.

dblameck
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **



*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*
1215
1215
Review of Are you awake?  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Review of Are you awake

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions. This review is being done to celebrate your anniversary as a writer on WDC.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
an interesting concept. Is it one dream or is it two. Whose dream is it anyhow.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:
Daniel tries to control his dreams and becomes very withdrawn. Rose worried about his seeks to help and they get lost is some sort of dream together.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
It is a little unclear. Work on it.

FINAL THOUGHTS:
Have a happy anniversary and keep writing.

dblameck
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **



*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*
1216
1216
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 18+ | N/A (Review only item.)
Review of Mr Moon Shine on me

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions. This review is being done to celebrate your anniversary as a writer on WDC.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
A good story about a werewolf being restrained by his parents

PLOT & CHARACTERS:
Plot seems to indicate that firstly a child is being abused. The with more references to the moon and other changes the true purpose of his captivity becomes evident.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
Change the name of the neighbour from Wolfson

FINAL THOUGHTS:
Have a great anniversary

dblameck
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **



*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*
1217
1217
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Review of Don't Mess with little old ladies

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions. This review is being done to celebrate your anniversary as a writer on WDC.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
An interesting story about the lady who has a gift to make strange things happen to those she gets upset with.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:
Mabel the lady with the gift is well presented through out the story. The people she deals with in the story are carefully expressed and you either love them or hate them.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
No changes.

FINAL THOUGHTS:
Have a great anniversary

dblameck
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **



*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*
1218
1218
Review of Vlad's Wife  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Review of Vald's Wife

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions. This review is being done to celebrate your anniversary as a writer on WDC.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
Vald the Impaler was the a vicious man who fought the Ottoman expansion into Europe He impaled thousands of captives. . Now we know what caused him to be so vicious.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:
Good Story and Jusztina is a strong character.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
a longer treatise on the story would be enjoyable.

FINAL THOUGHTS:
Happy anniversary. Keep writing.


dblameck
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **



*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*
1219
1219
Review of Needless Things  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Review of Needless Things


First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions. This review is being done to celebrate your anniversary as a writer on WDC.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
A good story with a lot of potential.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:
Jones is a strong character but he is not well described. More care could be taken in this area.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
penthouse in the old west? little tiny town - too much both adjectives mean the same thing

FINAL THOUGHTS:
This is a good start, It needs a little stronger

dblameck
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **



*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*
1220
1220
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Review of A Minicourse on Intercourse


First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.


OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
Good little story. We all have different meanings for words.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:
Son and his father failing to connect of the subject of intercourse

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
No it is fine as it is.

FINAL THOUGHTS:
Causes me to wonder if my message is getting across.

dblameck
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

1221
1221
Review of The Skirt  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Review of The Skirt


First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.


OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
Well that old premise and length of skirt is gone. Have you seen Catholic school girls uniforms lately. It's a good story about women choosing for themselves which other than the dictates of fashion I believe women do today.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:
Nancy shows up in shorter skirt, It is denounced but the next day all the other are as short.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
None, It seems well edited.

FINAL THOUGHTS:
Keep writing. Keep up the good work.

dblameck
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

1222
1222
Review of Mad Girl  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Brainstormers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Review of Mad Girl


First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions. This review is being done to celebrate your anniversary as a writer on WDC.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
Good poem. It expresses the feeling that many of us have. I enjoyed reading it.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
Perhaps not to use terms like bonkers

FINAL THOUGHTS:
Keep Writing and enjoy your anniversary.

dblameck
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **



*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*
1223
1223
Review of Ghostly Encounter  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Review of Ghostly encounter


First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions. This review is being done to celebrate your anniversary as a writer on WDC.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
A great ghost story with a happy ending.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:
Two people in the grave yard looking for a ghost.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
None

FINAL THOUGHTS:
An enjoyable little tale that would keep the likes of Jason home for a while.


dblameck
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **



*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*
1224
1224
Review of Monotony in Rule  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Review of Monotony in Rule

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
A good story once you allowed a little bit of hope to surface.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:
Humans, people oppressed with sensory deprivation in some post traumatic event world. But there is another voice still crying out. Giving hope for something else.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
I wondered about ending a sentence with a preposition. (with)

FINAL THOUGHTS:
I don't think I would like to read more about the buzzing.

dblameck
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
1225
1225
Review of Monday NIght  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Brainstormers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Review of Monday Night


First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions. This review is being done to celebrate your anniversary as a writer on WDC.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
Confusing story. There are a lot of leads that go nowhere.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:
The plot is hard to follow. The characters are great and entertaining.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
Make the story clear.

FINAL THOUGHTS:
Keep writing this has potential

dblameck
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **



*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*
1,275 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 51 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile.php/reviews/dblameck/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/49