“Alright, that’s it, we’re going on a diet.”
The announcement had come somewhat abruptly, and over breakfast of all things. It was one of the rare occasions where all three of the Black women were up and about. Harper on her way to work, Piper getting ready for her shift at the movie theatre, and Parker… was just up early. It was the perfect time for such an announcement, given that all concerned parties were present. But at the same time… was there ever really a good time to announce such a thing?
“What do you mean we?” Parker curled her lip as she bit into her Pop Tart
“I mean we.” Harper put her hands firmly on her hips, a little jiggle rippling throughout her supple shape, “As in you, me, and your sister.”
Piper—who had just scarfed an entire mouthful of Captain Crunch—looked up guiltily from her bowl. Then to her mother, Hunter in the high chair, and back to her mother.
“I don’t think it’s healthy to put babies on diets.” Piper said obliviously, “They’re supposed to be just a little chunky.”
Harper rolled her eyes. Hunter may have supposed to have had a little extra puppy fat, but she definitely wasn’t. Nearly six months after the birth of her third (and final!) daughter, and Harper was still lugging around an extra thirty pounds of fluffy fat. It hung from every inch of her, making her boobs hang lower, her tummy softer, her hips wider. It was like she was still pregnant! Except instead of a little bundle of joy, she was retaining maple syrup.
“Very funny, Piper.” Harper rolled her eyes and crossed her arms underneath her heavy chest
“Buhbuh!” Hunter squealed from her seat, slapping her hands on the plastic counter—Piper immediately darted to cleaning up the slight spill she made.
“See, even the baby thinks it’s a dumb idea.” Parker scoffed, staring at her Instagram feed, “And she’s, like, not even two.”
“Parker, she’s not even one.” Piper interjected, playing peek-a-boo with her smaller sister
“Even better.” The older sister said with a scarfing bite of her tart, “If you want to lose weight just go to the gym. That’s what I do.”
“I hate to agree with Parker on this one Mom, but…” Piper sat back down in her chair, “Diets are dumb.”
“Oh yeah?” Harper puffed her chest out proudly, “Tell that to those tummies you two have been growing lately!”
It was true. While no one had put on quite as much as the matriarch of the family, neither of the Black daughters were faring as fit as they had been this time last year. The stress of a newborn and a still hormonal mother was enough to get to anyone, but Harper’s cravings had kept the house filled with junk food! With nothing else to snack on, it was only understandable that Parker had put on a good fifteen pounds, and Piper about twenty.
“Sitting on your butts all day.” Harper poked Piper in the little pot belly she’d grown
“You guys need to diet just as much as I do!” Harper pinched Parker’s arm—a little extra give going a long way in the eyes of the vain twenty-two year old.
Both girls hung their heads, embarrassed and fondled.
“That’s what I thought!” Harper said confidently, her chest puffing out proudly and pushing her blouse up ever so slightly over her olive-brown pot, “So starting today no more junk food. Parker, your job while we’re at work is to clean this place out of anything unhealthy.”
“Whaaaat?” Parker whined, “Mom!”
“Ah! Don’t Mom me. It’s not gonna work this time, porky.” Harper kissed her daughter on the forehead, “I expect this pantry to be cleaned out by the time I get back from work.”
Neither daughter seemed particularly enthused—who could blame them?
“Look, I really didn’t want to pull this card, but I did just have a baby.” Harper said flatly, her stance loosening and her girth widening, “I could really use the support of my otherwise very helpful, very generous, very not-homeless daughters…”
And with that, the Black sisters sighed in agreement.
“Good.” Harper perked back up, “See you guys tonight~”
If only she had known what she had signed herself up for when she walked out that door…
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