"...You know, for this whole diet nonsense, I have to admit, if I see anything creme-filled in the next month, I'll probably hurl." Parker grumbled as she munched on her fifth (or was it fifteenth?) knock-off brand Lil Debbie Swiss cake roll. "Seriously, I think we should just toss the rest."
Piper glanced over, taking a brief reprieve from tickling Hunter to survey the damage her older sister had done. "Christ, Parker! I think she just meant throw this shit out, not eat all of it."
Despite being glutted on sugary and salty sweets, Parker still looked through her remaining options. "Like hell I'm gonna just chuck all this premium shit in the trash!" She grabbed a box of cheese crackers and started munching, oblivious to her shirt starting to ride up on her gut. "You want another soda?" Piper glanced at the empty cans lining the counter, starting to feel a little regret- her Mom's guilt trip had actually hit a nerve. However, she immediately justified herself wanting more sugar by the fact that Parker was responsible for more than half, and Piper was nothing if not competitive.
"Throw me two. And that box of oatmeal cookies!" Parker dutifully complied. "Seriously though, we should really just hide the rest of this- you know, for rations!"
"We aren't going to war! Besides, this diet thing is gonna last like... A week. Two weeks, tops. But yeah-" Parker paused to let out a loud belch, before cracking open a can of cola. "I don't think we're gonna be able to eat all this today..."
Piper slugged down half her can in a single go, letting out a much more modest burp, before noticing that Hunter was starting to doze off in her chair. "Yeah. Let's wrap this up. I'm gonna put Hunter to bed. I wonder how Mom's doin'..."
Harper was not doing well.
Her workplace was not a healthy environment. Now that she was being "health conscious", Harper realized that there was a pretty good probability that her workplace was just as responsible for her rapidly reducing clothing options as her house, and her new baby- and if she was being honest, it was probably time to stop blaming Hunter for her extra flab.
Donuts and bagels littered the break room, and people would actually bring her food if she didn't have any! She had already eaten three eclairs today, and it wasn't even noon! On top of that, two of her coworkers had already asked her to join them for lunch- something about coupons to the burger joint across the street. Mentally, she tried to add up her calories for the day. "One eclair is probably... What, 200 calories?" This wasn't even close to accurate, but food science had never been Harper's forte. She took a brief aside to google some nutritional information, which she promptly got incorrect: "According to most health physicians... Blah blah blah... 2500 calories! That's easy!" Oblivious to the fact that her three eclairs, along with her heavy usage of cream and sugar in her several coffees had already put her close to her daily calorific intake, she couldn't say no to her coworkers request to accompany them to the burger joint.
And hell, a double cheeseburger with no fries and a diet coke was healthy enough, right?
"Okay, if I drink another soda I'm seriously going to dissolve into a puddle of sucrose." Piper groaned, laying on the floor of the kitchen, her stomach bloated and jutting into the air. She let out a hiccup and winced.
"The Lord hates a quitter, y'know?" Parker retorted, continuing to drink out of the two liter of grape soda she had dug out of the rear of the pantry. "That being said, I might actually explode if I eat any more." It was getting into the afternoon hours, and both girls were glad that Hunter was a heavy sleeper- the amount of noise they were making, between the almost constant onslaught of belches, the slamming of the door as they ran trash bags out, and the amount of food being stored away into "discrete" boxes- IE, an empty box they had found that said "Christmas" on it- would have woken up any normal baby, but their sister was a Black, and she slept like one!
"Are we at least-" Piper let out a belch, winced, and grabbed her overfilled stomach "-Done storing shit?"
Parker, never one to be outdone, let out a much louder burp, before flashing a grin and a thumbs up to her sister. "Yeah. I'm gonna shove this under some other boxes. We've got 'til December to finish off our stash. Cripes, our pantry is... Real depressing without all this junk in it."
Piper craned her neck and stared into the now empty pantry. Two cans of cooking spray, a pile of empty tupperware containers, a thing of vinegar, and some flour were all that remained. "Wow, shocking. A family barely above the poverty line doesn't have anything but junk food in the house. Who'da thunk it?" She let her head flop back down. "I cannot WAIT for Mom to get over this diet shit."
Harper was actually sweating as she drove home. Her sugar and coffee buzz had worn off hours ago, and the paltry lunch she had didn't even keep her full for an hour! Somehow, she resisted the urge to hit the vending machine, but damn if quitting junk food was ten times harder than kicking cigarettes back in her 20s! She was jittery, shaky, pissed off, too hot AND too cold! On top of that, traffic was backed up for almost five blocks before her next turn! Her stomach angrily grumbled as she turned on the radio, flipping through channels- of course, at this time of day, nothing was on but news updates and commercials, apparently.
"-And all I'm saying is that Gritty looks like Jim Henson took acid- that's a terrible mascot, and I'm-"
click
"-Our new 18 piece nugget meal, with extra sauces included, is only $4.99! And it comes with a free cookie pie-"
click
"-We know how it is. Kids to feed, and you need your own food! Well, with our new 'Family style' basket, you can keep the youngsters happy, while you get to enjoy three wings, two breasts, and six tenders, all for only-"
click
"*sizzling burger noises* We know you like your burgers a specific way- Fast and cheap. But what about flavor? *soda fizzes* With our new and improved quadruple patty melt, you're getting both flavor AND value, starting at only-
click
"-other news, there's been a biiiiig accident on Monroe and 82nd, which means all you car folks are outta luck today!"
"FUCK!" Harper screamed at the top of her lungs. Whipping out her phone, she texted Parker- Piper was less likely to have her phone on her, but Parker was damn near glued to the thing. "Gonna be late- traffic's a bitch. Buy something for dinner, give you cash later. HEALTHY!" Sending the text, Harper veered out of the stopped traffic and into the nearest drive-thru, which happened to be a BurgerSling. "I'll just get something small while I wait..."
"Mom's missing dinner. Said to order something. Something... healthy" Parker warbled from the couch, while Piper tried to convince Hunter to eat some mushed up carrots.
"C'mon Hunter, the internet said you should at least be curious about baby food by now! You can't keep drinkin' formula forever, this shit is expensive." Piper turned to face her sister. "Are you serious? Fuck, Parker, we must've eaten ten pounds of junk food between the two of us!"
"Yeah, but she's paying! And besides, I think the pizza place has a special on two meat lovers for the price of one, with some garlic bread."
Giving up, Piper went to the fridge and grabbed a bottle of formula. "...Fine, fuck it. But seriously, I'm only having like... Two slices, tops!" Returning to Hunter, who happily cooed at the sight of a bottle, Piper sighed. "Kid, I hope you don't inherit the Black family appetite..."
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