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 |   A day in the life of... me! |
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A HUGE Thank you to Emily   for the beautiful ribbon  First place in "The Bard's Hall Contest"  for July/August 2012!A day in the life of... me! Sometimes I need to rant. Sometimes I have something burning on my mind. Sometimes I'm so angry I feel like reverting back to old coping mechanisms. So I thought a journal was a good idea! I feel ranting is an important part to life, everyone does it to some degree or another and it's not healthy to bottle things up inside. So for those moments where I feel a rant (or just a general thought) and want to get it off my chest, here it will be! However, ranting is not everything. Sometimes I just feel like I want to share something with someone, and often there is nobody to listen (wow that makes me sound sad! I do have friends but I tend to let them do the talking rather than share). So here I can get things off my chest, rant or be happy, whatever the mood ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| Wow! I almost feel lost for words. I got an email through to my phone today while I was out and about. I opened it with the expectation of deleting a junk mail but instead I saw it was an email from the Storymistress with a byline saying `congratulations on becoming Preferred...` I was so shocked I couldn't believe it! I couldn't wait to get home and sign on and take a look at my new yellow case! And I have to say, its so pretty! And making it better, only the fact that four other lovely and deserving people were also promoted today! I'm so happy to share today with them Jo xx |
| I went to the most amazing wedding yesterday. I've never cried at a wedding before and there were plenty of times yesterday when I could feel my eyes welling up as the emotions overtook. One of my best friends got married and I've never seen her looking so stunning before, she was truly beautiful. She looked happy and radiant and was exactly where she wanted to be. The ceremony was lovely, followed by drinks and then speeches before dinner. The speeches were both funny and emotional. I think the Groom was particularly nervous but he did really well and I could tell he was really happy too. The father of the bride mentioned how they missed her (because they've moved a little farther down the country) and they don't get to see her often. The Best Man made a funny speech. He is actually with the Maid of Honour and they make a lovely couple too. Then after that it was down to dancing and we had so much fun. There were four big bridesmaids and two little ones and we danced the night away and had lots of fun. I'm never going to forget yesterday, it was all just too beautiful to. |
| I took part in NaNo for the first time in 2011. At the time I had it all worked out, I knew what I was writing and how much I had to commit myself to writing everyday. I found it to be a difficult but enjoyable experience and will certainly do it again. The only thing is, ever since then I haven't looked at the stuff I've written. I think I've got the idea stuck in my head that everything I wrote was pretty crap and not worth an awful lot. I've toyed with the idea of creating a new item and editing that way so I have my original to look back on and compare the edited version to, but I'm just not sure I have it in me. I don't know if I can look at what I've written. Is anyone else having this problem? |
| I got a phone call today while I was out shopping. It was a call that certainly brightened my day. I've been offered a job! Yay! Now it's not a job that I've applied for or one that I really really want, but it's a job. I'll be temping with the Council again doing admin work working in Welfare Rights. So I'm quite excited. They've just got to work out a few details and then they're going to get back to me but I might be starting as early as next week! It'll be great to know that I'm earning my own money again! The only thing is I dont' want to let people down. So I'm going to keep on volunteering with the memory collection project, doing what I can and when I'm also going to try and do my shifts with my sessional work job because I said I could, but that depends how flexible this new job will be. I'm just glad that I'll be doing something, back on track with saving money to go away! Can't wait! |
| I know a lot of my updates recently have been about the impending job hunt and the lack of jobs available. But that's my reality right now. I spent hours searching for jobs, scouring websites and even checking papers. There are some things that appeal but nothing in my field. It makes me a little sad that I've just finished my Masters degree and I'm finding it stupidly difficult to get a job in that field, it's really annoying. I think I'm going to end up in a job I don't really want to be in and using my skills to volunteer with local places. In the mean time I've decided to keep busy by volunteering more (I feel like I've already written this!) I'm going to work with a colleague to speak with older people and collect their memories which is something I'm really excited about! I've also applied to be a Brownie leader and can't wait to hear back about that I think the things I struggled with when I was working full time was that if I did all this voluntary stuff then I'd have little time for me but now that I have plenty of time there is no excuse! So today I'm going to visit my colleage again about the memory collecting to find out a little more about it and sort out my CRB stuff. Then I'm possible going to scrapbook when I get home. I did some yesterday and had a lot of fun, I got up to my trip to London in April 2011. Perhaps I'll finish the year off!I think the other thing is that I was back on the site yesterday and had a lot of fun reviewing |
| So apparently it's been a while again. You know, I don't have a clue where the time goes. I'm still unemployed which is killing me, I hate not being busy and feeling like I have things to do. I'm job hunting like crazy and handing my CV out everywhere but to no avail. So in the mean time I've decided to pick up more voluntary work First with TRCC where I'm going to help with admin stuff along with being on the helpline. I've applied to be a brownie leader so I'm waiting to hear back from that and also a colleague of mine does a bridging project working with older people and young people too. So I'm going to help her out a little and figure it'll probably do wonders for my CV. So at the minute it's trying to fill in my time, job hunt, volunteer and still do all those little things I enjoy like walking, photography, scrapbooking. But it seems that's where the problem comes in, when I don't seem to have time for those things and I have no idea why. I have plenty more spare time on my hands yet no time for myself. If you know what I mean? I've missed being on the site but I only ever feel like I have time to log on to check a few things then I've gotta get onto something else. I think I'm really going to have to make a conscious effort to put one day aside a week just for myself to do what I want, when I want! On a brighter note, going to see a gig tonight that I'm excited about (Rammstein) so that should be cool. Heading into town with my partner for some food and a few drinks before hand |
| I have always kept journals, since being a young girl, but as I've gotten older and other things have put demands on my time, I often find I write less and less. And often, I only write when I need to rant, when there's something on my mind or I'm feeling particularly low or vulnerable. So I beg you to forgive me. I don't want you coming here and reading something that is pessimistic and negative all of the time so I will try my hardest to write in a positive manner about positive things! This weekend I've been away on an amazing Hen night with all of my closest girlfriends. We had so much fun and I loved every minute of it (well, almost every!) We began the drinking on the bus down to Blackpool at around 10am and didn't stop until we crawled into bed that night after a very lively and fun show followed by clubbing. Our chosen theme was Superheros (create your own) and everyone got involved and was creative in their efforts to get involved. And the best thing of all, our Hen had a really fab time and that makes me happy. That I (and my friends) were able to celebrate her forthcoming marriage with her in such an exciting way was brilliant!There, how's that for uplifting?!  |
| Well I saw my partner last night for the talk. I went feeling nervous and unsure of what was going to happen. We talked and came to the conclusion that we were both very different people and that we'd be friends. But then, all of a sudden, he's promising that he's going to change and that he'll start pushing past his anxiety so we can be a couple and go out and do normal things. He's promised me all of the things I've needed for such a long time. It felt so nice to hear him say it all. I've wanted it for so long. But I feel like I'm a little doubtful, because I've heard it all before and it hasn't happened yet. But, I've decided to give him the benefit of the doubt and I'll just take a step back and watch that space I think. |
| Right now I feel totally listless. I'm finally getting over the virus that had me ill for over two weeks. I'm still not 100% but I'm definately getting there and getting back on track. On top of that I was made redundant on the 20th January. My contract ended and because I've been ill I haven't been able to job search. I hate not being in work. I feel like I'm sitting around in the house all day and I hate doing that, I'm so bored. I found a couple of things so I'm busy filling out a couple of job application forms but it's slow going. But the thing that's really got me, I'm not sure whether I'm still in a relationship or not. My boyfriend texted me on Saturday afternoon saying he was having doubts about our relationship. I rang him later on and he basically ranted at me for twenty minutes saying I'm never there, I'm a part time girlfriend, I'm not supportive and that he wasn't happy. He ended the call telling me it was over. So of course I was sad and in shock. But I left it at that. Then on Sunday night he texted me, annoyed that I hadn't gone running over there to try and sort things out. And while I hate feeling like I'm stuck in this limbo, I'm not going running to him. He said he was breaking up with me. He said I wasn't the one for him and that basically I'm a bad girlfriend. Why would I go running?! So we haven't spoken since and I'm not sure what's going on. It's really messing with my head. |
| Well my graduation on Thursday went better than expected. I was more anxious about getting there and getting everything sorted in time for the ceremony to start. Of course we all managed it without any problem and I even found myself brimming with excitement at one point when I met up with several of the other people I did the course with. It was nice to see everyone again and the ceremony itself went really well, the Chancellor giving a lovely speech in which he likened himself to Harry Potter. It felt amusing. I shook his hand on the stage while being videoed without tripping up or making a fool of myself and I clapped for all of the others who did the same. Passing my Masters degree has been one of my biggest achievements, so far. It took a lot of hard work and toil to get through it, certainly while working at the same time and trying to maintain the normalcy of a social life, but I did it, along with my colleage Pip. We made it together. She is one of the reasons I knew I made it through. She's been a rock the whole time, being someone to bounce ideas off, someone who listened, someone to travel with, and most of all, a great friend. I think you know when you make friends for life and she is certainly one of those. Now... this is my next hurdle. What am I going to do now? I got told a week ago that my temporary contract with the local Council was ending. So after next Friday I'm jobless. In some ways it feels kind of nice to know that I might have a little bit of time off but the other half of me is screaming to get job hunting and get a job, no matter waht. I know that in terms of practicality I will have to get a job and I don't begrudge that, I want to be employed and pay my own way, but I'm worried it might take me a while to find something, especially at this point with all of the cuts being made in the UK job industry. I have just graduated with a Masters in youth and community work and the Government has decided it's not a particularly worthy industry and it's being cut from the public spending which means the chance of me getting a job doing something I've worked for and I really love, is quite low. But nevertheless, I'm not done yet and I'm going to try as hard as possible to get there. I know I will, it's just a matter of time I think! So today, I'm taking my partner out for something to eat as it was his birthday on Thursday and because of the ceremony he didn't get much attention. So his choice of restaurant it is. Then I'm taking him to the aircraft museum over the water to do a ghost hunt with the guys tonight. He's quite excited! It's not really my kind of thing so being taxi driver gets me out of it in a way! I think apart from this I have found several jobs so hopefully I'll be reading and filling out application forms. Wish me luck!  |
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Just for you BJ Hope your have'n a good day. 
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