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 |   A day in the life of... me! |
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A HUGE Thank you to Emily   for the beautiful ribbon  First place in "The Bard's Hall Contest"  for July/August 2012!A day in the life of... me! Sometimes I need to rant. Sometimes I have something burning on my mind. Sometimes I'm so angry I feel like reverting back to old coping mechanisms. So I thought a journal was a good idea! I feel ranting is an important part to life, everyone does it to some degree or another and it's not healthy to bottle things up inside. So for those moments where I feel a rant (or just a general thought) and want to get it off my chest, here it will be! However, ranting is not everything. Sometimes I just feel like I want to share something with someone, and often there is nobody to listen (wow that makes me sound sad! I do have friends but I tend to let them do the talking rather than share). So here I can get things off my chest, rant or be happy, whatever the mood ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| Well I believe that Britain has just experienced it's worst storm in many a year. The thunder was so loud overhead it woke me, startling me from my dream. The storm raged on and off for about three hours. In the aftermath I ventured out with my family to assess the damages and the world as we know it has been turned upside down. Major roads are flooded and cars can't get through. Walkways and subways are so covered or even submerged in water that nobody can get through. Cars are driving through water that reaches up to their bonnets. Cars have been flooded as well as streets. Even some houses. The community is out in force ready to see what's going on too. It's crazy! And I have to get to work. Unluckily for me the major roads between home and work are flooded so there's only one thing for it... I'm walking in! I can't not go and a walk will do me good! Just wish me luck and pray that I reach the otherside in safety x |
| It's really nice that I've felt able to get down to writing recently. Even if I'm just handwriting things it's great, I feel creative. Even if what I'm writing isn't the best I've written, it's jumping at me. I'm not having to work stupidly hard to forumulate ideas and pull it all together. It's such a feeling of elation when that happens after spending too much time not writing at all. I guess we all go through peaks and troughs, it's the way of things, in other professions as well as writing. I think something I read the other day urged me to think about what a writer is and how difficult it can be to be a writer. Many people think being a writer is an easy task. You simply churn out a novel and then get published and you're famous. I really wish those people knew what it was really like. I haven't been published but I would love to get it done. I guess I still sometimes feel like my work doesn't quite hit the mark and while I try to push myself there's always that niggling doubt. But I'm trying my best to work through that! Entering contests here, writing things that would normally not cross my mind, really helps for that. It gets the creativity flowing and offers inspiration |
| While at first I was a little dubious about working nightshift (when considering that I tend to be a morning person!) it's really starting to grow on me. I'm onto my third nightshift of three tonight and I'm looking forward to it. Not only do I work with some lovely women that I'm starting to form relationships with, but I also have a lot of time for me to do what I want. I'm getting to read a lot more which is great. In the past couple of weeks I've gone through two and started my third book. I love having such freedom to read! I've got to to write and think about things, plan things. Which has led to some new developments with the Writers Garden! So it's all very exciting. |
| Hey! Well I know it's been a while since I updated and that's a lot because I've been super busy and a lot because I've been away at a festival. I've just gotten back today and couldn't wait to jump right back into WdC My Festival. It was very muddy. Very. We got there on Wednesday and it was storming most of the day. Luckily we got our tent up just before the rain really came down *phew* Thursday rained pretty much all day which put a downer on things. So with all the storms and rain we ended up living in a sort of pit of mud. I'm really glad we took a big ish tent which meant we had a porch area to try to dry out wet things and keep muddy wellies! Friday was the day the bands began. They were great and though the weather was still drizzzling we kitted out with our waterproofs and just went for it. I really enjoyed it. My favourite band that day was probably Machine Head though it was hard to hear because the wind was carrying the music away from us  I also really enjoyed Slash and Myles Kennedy, I thought they were really brilliant and will be purchasing an album!Saturday came and with it a small change in the weather. We didn't have rain. So I didn't feel the need to wear my waterproofs all day which was lovely. On Saturday night Metallica were headlining playing the entire Black Album which was AMAZING! I love them so much (got a t-shirt to prove it!). On Sunday the weather changed completely again and the sun was blistering hot, wiping up a lot of the mud. I'm so sunburnt it's unreal. My shoulders and back are red raw (even though I was wearing sun tan lotion) but it was lovely after four days of mud and rain! I saw Black Sabbath on Sunday night who were also UNREAL! Ozzy really rocked my night (even though before that I swore I didn't like them!) He really amused me. And today. Monday. Coming home. I do believe I heard the whole 100,000 people at Download breathing a sigh of relief as we began to pack up tents. Getting to the pick up point for the bus was awful, I felt a bit like a pack horse, but we made it! And can I tell you, despite all of the mud and rain and wind (and sunburn) I had a really good time and can't wait until next year! There were a few things I would change. I shared a tent with a friend who hadn't been before and she didn't take to festival life very well. She found it hard to adapt and I found it hard to adapt to being constantly with someone (at some points I felt like I was babysitting ) so maybe next year we'll take separate tents, if she goes! I would also take my little two man tent instead of the four man tent we took. The wind was so strong for two of the nights (and the ground so soft) it kept pulling all the tent pegs up and we found it lopsided and even moved! So that scared me a little. I think a two man tent would maybe take the wind a little less hard. But I did enjoy it! Glad to be home and have finally showered and be clean. My clothes were so muddy you would not believe. Once I get them onto Facebook I'll leave a link for anyone who wants to see! I also want to give a big shout out to Emily for turning yellow! My friend Emily is an absolute  and she so deserves the promotion!!x |
Well my birthday night out (although not an awful lot of people came) was really fun! I had two of my closest friends come with my to start with, we visited a scrumptious cocktail bar and drank yummy fruity beverages. Then we moved onto somewhere a little cheaper. But the football was on so instead of having a dance we listed to a throng of grown men shout and curse and cheer at the TV. We made friends with some guys from Liverpool before moving on. Our next stop was an even cheaper place, so normally, it's packed to the rafters. But last night (I think because of the football being on) it was dead so we got a seat. By the time we were leaving it was getting busy. We met my friends sister and her friends for a few drinks then bumped into my other friends who were coming for my night out. Then we hit the club. It's somewhere I haven't been in a while and I was surprised by how quiet it was when we got there, but it soon filled up and we had a good night. Dancing and drinking and photo taking I got a taxi home with my friend from the beginning of the night about 1:30 and then pretty much zonked. And the best part is that so far (*fingers crossed*) I haven't got a hangover! Yay! However, I am desperately hungry! hehe  But I'm supposed to be going for Sunday lunch so don't want to spoil my appetite *sighs*xx |
| Well, it's less than two hours until I start my first shadowing shift at my new job and I cannot wait! I've managed to get a little bit of sleep, restless sleep anyway. But I put my blanket over my window just like my dad used to do for me when I was little and it was summer (back in the days of bed times!), put on a movie and read a book until I felt my eyes getting heavy. I know you might find that a little strange but I find background noise (as long as it's something like a movie or a cd) helpful. Other background noise such as people talking really distracts me. So anyway, I read some of my book which is awesome then fell asleep. I think I dreamed strange dreams, something I didn't remember when I woke up. That always makes me a little sad because I think dreams being part of your psyche explain a lot and can provide a great inspirational lead to write something. Never mind. I can't imagine I'll sleep tomorrow either, I'll probably be like a zombie! So wish me luck for my first shift. The nervousness hasn't started yet which is great but I'm sure it'll appear when I get into the car, or at some point like that. I think one brilliany advantage to working nightshift is that I don't have to worry about traffic! Only perhaps tomorrow morning when I'm trying to make my way home (my only thought of my bed!) hehe |
| Do you think it's acceptable for a woman of 24 (almost 25) to be scared of the dark?! I think I have a slight phobia. Not a phobia as such but I always sleep with a light on. I feel comforted by it. Not only do I sleep with the light on but I sleep with the TV on too. If I turn the light out when I go to sleep I wake up and it's on in the morning. I turn it on in my sleep. Do you think that's a problem? Maybe the manifestations of the darkest part of my mind scare me too much to be left alone in the dark... |
So, how cute is this little purple ribbon!  I can't believe it, and I have Emily to thank, what a she is!I know I haven't been on in a while but things have been a little hectic. I've been at work 9-5 then doing things most nights and not getting an awful lot of time to myself. I made sure this week was different, I was tired and knew I needed some time. Last night I applied for my CRB for Girl Guiding to enable me to officially become a Snowy Owl! I have to say, working in the Brownies with that lovely group of young girls is amazing! I haven't worked with that age group before, tending to work 13-18 with underpriveledged children. This has been an entirely different experience so far. And yes I guess some of the girls are a little naught but then, I remember what age they are. They're young, they're beginning to push the boundaries. And I can just see myself as I was back then, probably a lot like that! So it's forgivable.... besides, they're too cute to stay mad at! Today I have a team meeting where I'm going to meet my new team members in my new job! I can't wait It's been like a dream come true to get this job and I can't wait to start. My CRB came back for that on Friday so I can officially start now. I have two shadowing shifts next week (my first night shifts ever!) and then I have my first lone working shift on the 27th. I officially start on the 4th June before I go away on holiday two days later, oops! Oh well. I can't wait to start though it just feels so right and so exciting. I think the only thing to really get used to is doing nightshift because with my body clock, I think it's going to be a bit hard. Particularly when I get really irritable when I'm tired. I guess we'll just have to see. So you'll hopefully forgive me if I don't log on much while I'm doing that!Anyway, just thought I would stop by and now it's away to get ready for work... fun times! |
| I think it hit me yesterday after texting the guy that used to be my best friend, that I'm not an important part of his life anymore. And while that makes me sad I'm not going to pine, I'm not going to bed. If he doesn't want to spend time with me or doesn't miss me the way I miss him then I'm not going to force my friendship on him. It's been a tough decision but I think I'm glad I finally made it; I want people in my life who want to be in my life, and I always speak to those people, they always have time for me, and I will always have time for them. So I texted him asking whether the coach for Download festival had been booked and how much money I owed. That's all I asked. He replied telling me it was and how much it would be. I texted to say thanks and that I hoped he was well and he didn't reply. It's sad but I suppose that's the way of life sometimes. Some people are in it forever, some people are not. I guess I just thought he was in it for the long haul... |
| It makes me sad to think that no matter how much hard work we may put into it, there will always be a huge amount of stigma in the world. I think stigma is really debilitating. It offers judgement and makes the person on the receiving end of stigma feel a lack of self worth, question themselves. Stigma has always existed in a variety of means against certain groups of people and I believe that every person has felt stigma at some time in their lives. It's an awful thing to live with. It puts you into a certain group and forces certain characteristics or mannerisms onto you, how is that fair? Why should we be grouped into one big lump with other people we are probably nothing like? Unless we teach young people at a young age about what stigmas are and the unfairness of judgement that pass because of them, nothing will ever change. But even then, how can we make stigmas disappear? They're almost preconceived, imminent within society. I wish I could help stop stigma, even for one person, a few people. |
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Just for you BJ Hope your have'n a good day. 
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