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You have entered my blog. I take no responsibilty for your reaction. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** MY NEW CAR....WELL IF I HAD THE MONEY TO BUY ONE!!! Thanks Thea!!!! ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| Sudden daylight and the sound of thunder woke me from a sound sleep this morning and just as quickly, it was dark again. It amazes me the power of lightning. To turn the whole complete sky into day! The driving rain of the storm brought back a memory from long ago. I was in Jr high school ,so what like 14 years old? My friend Kevin Baker had a fight with his dad. He was fed up and decided to run away. He pleaded for me to go with him. I had no current reason to do so, but my friend needed me..(hmmn, was I the go to guy even back then?) So I said OK and told my mom I was going to camp out with Kevin and would find my own way to school in the morning. She said ok...(I can't believe she said ok on a school night!) And I got my sleeping bag together along with all the clothes and stuff I would need. Mom gave me a ride to Kevin's and as we drove up, his sleeping bag was already laying on the lawn. I jumped out and my mom drove off. No she didn't go up to the door or wait for me to, she just drove away. (again I am confused about her actions) that is when I saw Kevin climbing out of his bedroom window. He jumped down and we ran off. We found a clear spot in the woods near school and set up the tent. We talked through out the night how he would still attend school and just live in the woods. I told him I probably would not stay anouther night with him but would be able to get him some food and stuff. I would stay the weekend though. We were awakened at about 6:00 in the morning by the huge crack of thunder and the lighting of the sky. We could hear the heavy rain pounding on the tent and hurried to dress....It is funny the same odd feeling of freedom and lonelyness I felt then hit me this morning when the lightning woke me. We ran to school in the rain and was totally soaked when we got there.. we dried up, changed in the boys room and went to our first class. Suddenly over the intercom....we were both called to the office! I walked in and they handed me the phone.. It was mom. "Did you run away?" She said. I answered her quite calmly, I said no I was just helping a friend. She explained to me how the Bakers called her all frantic because their son had run away and they knew we were best friends... she told them she knew that I didn't and that we were just camping out. She asked me if I was comming home tonight, I said yes and hung up... That was it... Kevin got grounded and My mom was glad that I was willing to help a friend in need...I think back and realize that my Mom was pretty odd....even back then. But is it that oddness that helped mold me into what I am today? Do I thank my mother for allowing me to make my own decitions and be there for a friend? I have lost touch with Kevin, they moved away that very year. Perhaps they thought I was a bad influence? Perhaps their lives changed...he never said goodbye....they just moved! SKi |
| There is no doubt in my mind that we control time and how fast it disolves. Haven't you noticed that sometimes in a whiz, time just flies? You lose minutes or hours without any record of where they went...almost like your precious minutes were stolen from you. Other times it drags, you look at the clock...then seemingly hours later 1 minute has past. Don't you hate that? I know you said yes but you shouldn't. No you shouldn't hate it....you should learn how to control it! If I could figure out how to make those minutes drag by, I would use that knowlege when I am enjoying life and savoring moments. Then when the bad times come I will use my golden talent to cause the hours to vanish..poof...just like that gone!!! See what I mean? I know we have the capability to control it. The proof shows up every day.....just have to learn the secret......I think there are some people out there who have found this treasure. Just think how great it would be.........................................damn,My mind is bombarded with fantastic situations that would warrant the slowing down of time................I can see it now! I could make a moment it time when two people connect with a quick smile and make that feeling last for hours... Could you imagine that peaceful feeling after your partner and you have both peaked and you lay there side by side just feeling close and wonderful...make that last for hours...or even days.. This is my new quest....any sugjestions? TimeSki |
| I sit back and evaluate who I am...I think the image I reflect each day, how my rubbery essense was molded into what people see today. I don't think I would be good friends with me. Sure I would want to hire me to oversee a job I might have as I know it would be done right and on time. I would call me if I had an emergency and needed someone calm and level headed. It would be my voice on the other line if I had a problem in the middle of the night. But, if I was having a huge party and invited all my friends, I don't think I would invite me. If I was going to a football game and had the opourtunuty to invite just one friend, I wouldn't call me. No, I would be the last person I would call. I realize this as I take stock of who I am and what I represent. The guys at work call me Mustafa...(gentle king) AT home, (the go to guy) but when we have a christmas party or gathering, these guys don't sit with me, They sit at the fun table. I sit with the management. I created who I am and now wonder if I did the wrong thing. I have many many business associates and I think they like me as a business person....but I have no close friends that I spend my free time with.. I share my innermost thoughts and feelings with no-one. If I was to call anyone my best friend it would be my wife but I don't share those feeling with her either...I guess I always had to be the strong one as I grew up and that is all I learned. That is all I know how to do...I cannot lay my soul down for people to see.... They say being King is a lonely business........ I think they are right. Tom Petty sings, "If I could be King, just for one day" I think of those lyrics and realize that no matter what you are, things will not be perfect.....Be carefull what you wish for.......So thinking of that, what do I wish for? |
| I know, it is that time of year when the ghosts and goblins come out... I always loved halloween. I don't know if it was because of the candy, (when I was young, a shopping bag full was normal). It's funny, I remember throwing away the healthy stuff. Anyway, the other reason I liked it is because so many people would get personally involved. Even at work some would feed their childlike egos and dress as some horrible character and really enjoy it. As for me, I always believed in ghost or spirits....we lived in an old farmhouse and in was haunted.....sure was scary to stay in that house alone at night! Now I am not saying ghosts and spirits like is protreyed on halloween but surely entities that have some worldly agenda... My question is, why is there never a good gathering or fun haunting? Some of these spirits must have a sense of humor right? Maybe they do have fun parties too but just not when humans are around. What do you suppose they would do for fun? I wonder......anyone got some ideas? And comments about Halloween? Ski |
| I am wondering why I blog. I have many friends of course that I read and respond. It seems like most blog to purge in some way and to interact with others like them. I am on a quest to find the essense of me but is blooging part of my journey? I don't really know as I have never kept any type of journal (other than running ones) So what do I accomplish? I sincerely enjoy interacting with the many personalities here and deep down I guess I am searching for answers....But I think I found out something...I do not get the answers here...No I ask all the questions as a means to force myself into finding the answers....That makes sense doesn't it? I get much pleasure out of helping others and I think I have done that...But in the process, I think I am helping me too. I don't need this site to tell me what my shortcoming are....I already know.. though there are some that will "help" me by pionting them out to me. That is OK with me...I am not hiding anything. Overall, the blog is a means of interacting with people on the same quest as me...Wether they know it or not is a different matter. I actually considered stopping because I have written very little lately. I think it really is not related.... I will write when the spirit moves me...in the mean time the blogging is just fine.....there are many things to settle out right now and I can wait... Ski |
| After yesterdays blog I got thinking.....Well I noticed some pretty good things written about me.....actually one entry was very intuitive........ But no one dared to write any bad things. Of course Every one likes to believe they are all good but we know deep down inside we have a fair amount of bad stuff too. I guess it depends on the type of person writing....most want to see the good in people and especially if they care for them, they would hug toward the good stuff. However if one was really trying to work on the undesirable aspects of ones self...they would have to understand the bad things too. It makes me think......It must be very hard to write an autobiography......I feel some would lean toward their good and others would lean toward their bed.....probably not many would do an acurate combination. I think I would lean toward the bad as I seem to have a hard time admitting my good traits.....now I like to hear other people tell me them as I enjoyed reading yesterdays blog and would surely not erase it....no I will cherish it. But I wouldn't feel right saying those things about myself......I suppose most people feel the same way. So I have a list to add to yesterdays; 1. I have very little sympathy....it's true I think it is the way I was brought up. 2. I am very selfish with my loved ones....I get jealous and don't want to share. 3. I procrastinate.....most would not believe it but it is true! 4. I talk behind peoples back......yeah not proud of this one....I don't like confrontation and I don't like to hurt peoples feeling...... 5. I am not as smart as I want to be or as I think I am.... 6. I give good advice but but should learn to practice what I preach. 7. I hate special rights...... thats right... the world is so full of that now!! what ever happened to just equal rights? 8. I say I am "in tune" with the universe...but it's not true...I am just as confused as the rest of you. 9. I watch races to see the crash...I root for a fighter to get beat and I love to see the knock out.....I get a kick out of shows that give turmoil....Though I don't want any myself. I love to watch one team beat out anouther. I dream of beating people in races! 10. I am in agreement with the war in Iraq..... yes I think we need to be there....I may not agree with some of the decitions made but we have to defend our country....I know that means killing people and maybe some that don't deserve it.....I wish I could say I was against war...but In certain cases, it is needed...if we don't defend there...the war will surely come here!! You see, these are things about me that would not be considered too great....it is hard sometimes to admit such things and break peoples perception.....I guess I would not write a very acurate auto.......someone else would have to do it........ |
| Ireceived an email today about my blogs.....I write purely random thoughts that are a very few of the millions that slow down long enough for me to catch them. I do not think my blog protrays the real me inside.....the guy no one really knows. Write me back and list ten things about me that you think are true. I am interested to see how much of the inner essense actually shines through..........you can mix good and bad.......... Ski |
| In life it seems we are always on a journey. Sometimes we don't know where and maybe some don't even care. Our paths seem to always include a bridge. the bridge symbolizes our crossing to a new stage in life. When we encounter a bridge our life is ready to change. I constantly wonder, "where is this bridge taking me?" This follows the saying, Things happen for a reason or there is a reason for everything.......... So I wake up this morning.....I know I am on a bridge as the current events in my life dictate a huge change. What is it though? Why are we left in the dark? Wouldn't it make more sense to see the light at the end of the tunnel? Wouldn't we put more effort into the journey if we knew where it led? Maybe we can't see that far ahead and if we could, we would be overwhelmed with the dificulty of the journey ahead that we stop and head back to where we were? I wish I knew..............I am at in inpass right now as I feel there is an intersection on this current bridge.........which way do I go? Am I supossed to just let things happen and the dominoes will fall their own way? Or do I need to decifer and understand my options before deciding? Well being anylitical, I would rather have all the options layed out for me so I can make a rational decition...create a goal and head for it. Unfortunately the world does not seem to agree with me as it causes me to proceed blindly ........I am walking forward but my hands are streatched strait out hoping to feel the obstrution before I hit it head first........Why is life so hidden? I know you have no more answers than me.......some may say "trust God" or "believe in yourself" or "things will work out they always do" But I don't know.........I want the knowlege.....I want to be the one that sees the right direction with out question......there are people like that out there........why are they blessed with the gift.....I want a gift! So what do I need to learn this time? What is the reason for this new journey? Isn't this a pretty hard way to learn it? When pain, discomform and major life change is involved......it seems un necessary to be this mean........Why is a word I use alot lately..............What is the reason this time?....whySki |
| Are you the type that loves to sit up on a pedastal and bask in the attention of others? Do you enjoy all that comotion? I think it is so strange that some people love that, some hate it, some wish for it but never get it. Some even wish for it, get it and then wish they hadn't got it! I am more modest I guess. I do love to be recognized for acheivement but not in a huge way.....you know mention my name at a gathering or in a report...but don't make me get up and bask in the glory....just too uncomfortable for me. Why do you think that is? Why am I uncomfortable....like I feel I don't deserve it......then people like politicians, they want that stage all day long.....how can they enjoy that? Do you suppose it is their confidence? Perhaps that is what I am missing? You see I always thought about being famous and every one drooling over me.........but I don't think I could actually handle it. I just wonder......is there something wrong with me? Shouldn't I cherish that kind of attention? What would ever happen if I actually did something amazing and became famous? I would probably shy away and people would view it as being smitten.........I guess I really won't have to worry about that, but I still wonder... How do you readers feel? Do you love the limelite......wish for it? hide from it? and most of all why...why do you feel that way? Ski |
It has come to my attention that there are some pretty crazy rumers about me out there..... It seems this guy DntdKnight   has a reporter friend. His name is Justin time. Quite frankly, I met up with Justin time a little while ago and well he didn't make it just in time ......if you know what I mean......So he is cleaning him self up right now.I think the air should be cleared and the best way is to venture over to DNTDKnight's port and read his crap....Now, don't get me wrong, Mr. Knight is a great guy and I have respect for him. You see these Russians scared Justin time so badly that he reported their propaganda..........poor sole, he got himself in a deep one this time,,,,,Anyway, I hold no grudges and actually will run over there to help if them Russian mobsters show up again.....I don't think they will as I already creamed them once! I am a forgiver though and once I get these wires off my jaw, I will meet up with Mr. Knight for a pizza and beer.....Yaeh..justin time can come too..........I am disapointed though as they said some bad things about my friends.......I am looking for a public appology!............Ski |
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But, honestly, I take the good with the bad, even when it is really bad. Emotions are a huge, huge part of who we are and sometimes holding them back doesn't allow us to truly experience life.
I don't really know what it takes to be a writer but heck, I like to do it and it seems the more I write the more I like what I write. That, I think is the most important thing about being a writer. 