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 |   New and Improved... but only slightly. |
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THE MANIFESTO REMIX You've been pwn'd by ☡.☠ ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| ... some chicks face. We moved up in V-Ball to the second from top tier of talent. So we were playing against a team that could smash like us. BUT - I take home a trophy! Second game, I get a nice set - !BAM! the girl playing the net digs it out, but can't control it. It comes right back to me, just over the net where I like them !DOUBLE BAM!... In that instant she saw her life flash before her eyes. She saw the wedding she never had, and the children she never had a chance to birth. She probably never heard the spike that got her, square in the face! I knocked an earring out, and with it, took her pride home with me. I know, last week I hit a chick and this week I did the same. "What gives, Z? You only pick on girls?" That is not my fault. Guys tend to back away from the net instead of trying to play me at the net. I almost destroyed a guy's face but he pulled some sort of Matrix s  t out of his hat and dodged it.This is what I've discovered. I never played V-Ball competitively before, but was a collegiate (D3 yo!) B-Ball player. Spikes are like blocking shots. You A) never signal that you're going to smash, you approach slow and let the hand do the destroying and B) targeting is crucial! When playing B-Ball I used to have this thing where I would "pump fake" a block with a shooter. I never just went air trying to block shots. Shooters think with their pump fake that they're going to stall you in the air, but when a defender fakes back, they tend to rush their shots trying to regain the high, fake ground. I blocked so many shots back into dudes grills from the ground cause they rushed. Shot blocking is spectacular, sure, but a hand in the shooters face works just as well, and if they're going to try and shoot over you from their feet on the court... return to sender mutha  ucker!Wanna hear something sad? I broke a kid's dreams one night in high school. Last seconds, up by two, we were defending and this kid gets the ball for the last shot. He fakes, I don't move. He fakes real fast twice, I move my shoulder like I'm going to jump, and then he shoots. The ball got no further from his hands then it was back in his hopeful face. That school... was the St. Louis School for the Deaf! To their credit though, they were that close! A possession from a tie or a win.  It's mean when said aloud, but you really had to be there!So, for scheduling purposes you can now expect some drunk blogging on Thursday instead of Wednesday nights. Adjust your clocks accordingly  |
| ... you think it was ugly in the comments, you should have seen my town hall meeting yesterday! Starbucks girl... loves me. Free coffee before class yesterday. Ha! There's still some juice in the tanks! Then on to class... 3 dudes... 12 chicks! Boom x 2= Boom-Boom! "Hello ladies, I know this class is about International Law, but I want to get to know you... what treaties can we sign tonight, grrrl?" And then I found out that the brick of a book I bought is the wrong one. Then today I found out at the bookstore that because I don't have my receipt I can only get the "Buy Back" price. That, for anyone who has never had to sell a book back to their school's book store, is about 1/1000 of what you actually paid for it. The women who work in this store are like Spartan She-ras. They glare, never simply look, and always expect the worst from you. They are the inversion of Leary's "trust no one over 30"... they trust nothing under thirty. They'll eventually get you the book you need but at the cost of your pride. Emasculation x 3! So now I'm trying to find a receipt which is has probably made its way out to BFE and I have to order the real book for my class cause the bookstore can't ensure the books arrival by next week. BLEH x 4 = BLEEEEH. There is no measuring the bogucity of this day! The amount of awesomarity it would take to bring me back to a correctitudinal alignment is immeasurabl...um...ity! But there's one thing that can help... CHEWBACCA!!! [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VjQMpBb1gps Name your favorite Star Wars character below - GO! |
| ... about the 2nd Amendment to the US Constitution. So the militias are growing and people are carrying guns to Obama rallies, which is just classy. People hunt with guns I'm told and AK-47s and AR-15s must be necessary for that purpose to some extent, but in a modern, urban setting where most Americans live, guns are primarily used for crime. I think we need to take it back, to 1776 and Thomas Jefferson. Let's get the skinny on the 2nd amendment as I channel ol' Jefferson here, in this blog. Alright... let's see, channelling - Minnie Pearl, no. John Wilkes Booth, no. AH! Here he is! Why, it looks like he's writing in his journal about the 2nd amendment, how appropriate! Dear diary, Today I invented a name for John Adams, "douche bag". I mocked his biddy goodwife in the latrine with some well quilled scribbles about her more than accessible lady humps. B.Frank and the others want to add a 2nd amendment already! Confound it! I was just starting to understand what this first amendment meant. They want to ensure that every man is afforded the right to arms. I simply couldn't understand the notion, then G.Dub dropped a line saying that we are a nation only conceived with no history of a regular, standing military. Our army now is merely volunteers who will return home when the revolution is over. We are surrounded by the French, Spanish, English and the wilderness. Yes, indeed, perhaps we do need our guns now. But, what of in the future? Surely the future citizens of this nation would understand when they would no longer need weapons en masse. Surely they wouldn't go, as J.Cock said, all "backwoods ignorant" and fight progress just to keep their weapons. So too as I've written this with "all men created equal" I know that black men are not, nor are women, equal in this constitutions eyes. But one day they may be, and I would think by that time, the people would realize that this constitution must grow and evolve to suit the times and the nation best. I've every faith in the progress of man, and of our great experiment, that this will be the case. And certainly no one would doubt the president's birth certificate ever, at anytime. Well, it's been a long day at the quill. I think I'm, going to bang a slave. That's right, I, Thomas Jefferson, will now bang a slave. Twenty points, for Tommy Jeff-Jeff! - end channelling. Wow, that was intense. Cause not only was I in Thomas Jefferson's head, but he writes in the nude! |
... we live in some crazy times. This health care debate has brought out the crazies, The History Channel has confirmed the world will end in December 2012, and Screech wasn't invited to the Saved By The Bell reunion. But at least we know that Brett Farve is finally retired for good... ... WT !Or so I thought, he's going to sign with the Vikings. 39 years on, the man threw as many INTs as TDs last season. St. Louis fondly remembers the 2001 post-season when he threw six (6) INTs to our questionable secondary. The man is a legend and if there's anyone I want to see succeed it's Brett Farve, but I already saw him win a Super Bowl, and as far as I'm concerned, these past few years have turned him into a traveling side show. Retire, damn you! You know who else needs to retire? ME! One day into the semester and I'm already ready to retire. I haven't even attended a class yet! Oi vey! My book is less a book and more a cornerstone. When I bought it the city came out and cheered cause they thought I was laying the foundation to a children's hospital. That's the last thing I'd ever do, f k kids. Children are the reason I got into the business you know, to find a way to eradicate them.Today is Virginia Dare's birthday. The first child born to English parents in the New World back in 15-something-something. She disappeared with the rest of her colony. Probably eaten by a sea serpent. But, hers is the longest Amber Alert in the history of the continent. So, as we do every year on this occasion, we mark it by honoring something that has disappeared. Today I would like to honor "Parker Lewis Can't Lose" a TV show that disappeared. What about you? What's disappeared from your life that you would like to honor? |
| ... ad road! Just follow the google ad road! What does your Google ad say about you? As I write this mine is Online Diversity Training, and when followed I get "Providing mandatory training in discrimination and harassment prevention just got easier! Syntrio’s Employment Essentials Suite" Everyone else - all self publishing ads or something like that. Then there's hailey who has Duchess and the Dragon, "A Quaker Girl and a Royal Duke find romance in the regency period.". It's from BH Publishing, but it sounds more like BS to me! You got to watch those ads, I'm judging Hailey harshly because of hers. Vlog? Where's the vlog? No vlog! A vlog would be like 100% me and I need a patsy in case it fails to blame the failure on. What I will give you though, a gem from 2004 called Garbage Monsters. From my film school chum Taylor, this dandy allows us to live our worst nightmare of monsters rising from our trash, through the eyes of someone else. Watch carefully... you may be able to recognize a certain, handsome garbage monster. That's all I'm saying! [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mkOsnWtrGDw |
| ... I'd give you a hypothetical today, but there's too much in the news to be ignored! Firstly, "Surviving a Zombie Attack is Mathematically Possible!" That's what some Canadians have discovered. You got to "hit hard and fast" and exterminate your living dead foes with extreme prejudice... which is really what we knew all along, but now we have some science, or rather, Canadian Science behind it. http://www.wired.com/wiredscience/2009/08/zombies/ Secondly, after months of running, eating right and doing thousands of crunches all for 4/6 requisite abs... it was all for nought. Apparently a little round belly is in these days. At least if you're living in NYC. But as we all know what's cool on the coasts slowly makes its way inland. http://www.nytimes.com/2009/08/13/fashion/13POTBELLY.html?_r=3&scp=1&sq=hip%20to... And finally, here's a trailer for a movie that's brought my legal team and I no rest for the past few days. The film is called RiP: A Remix Manifesto... which sounds way too much like my internationally accredited, registered title here. What is the movie about... copyright infringement  [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] That looks like a quality film, and I can't wait to be awarded some of the royalties in court, or rather, Canadian Court. |
| ... how do you like your eggs? Poached, scrambled or fertilized? Congratulations to Paige Turner  and peachbug for their photo finish in yesterday's pick-up line challenge. Both received a merit badge and the adequate social stigmas that come with their respective lines. Huzzah, ladies!And now... ... your SATURDAY STUMPER What actor portrayed Cowboy Curtis on the hit TV drama Pee Wee's Playhouse? That's Cowboy Curtis on Pee Wee's Playhouse. I'm behind answering e-mails and blog reading, but will get to it all soon! |
| ... and just like every Friday ever, I'm feeling... romantic! It's dangerous, cause not only do I put my heart on the line, but my Zesticles too. Both could be shattered by some heartless hussy or flawed floozy. So, how do I get through romantic Friday's? I sing this song: [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] That brings me back to one, and I remember that love is something that has to come naturally to a person. You can't force it, you can't! You have to walk before you can dry hump. Special Kay has plenty of theories as to why I'm still single, but she's thinking like a woman. I can tell you now, that I am still single cause there are too many beautiful women in the world, and it would be selfish of me to choose just one! Why is it fair that only Becky gets to put her hand to the power when her friend Becca hasn't had the pleasure!?! It's not fair, and I am all about being fair. I know, I know... I am too generous, almost too benevolent. Best pick-up line ever wins a Merit Badge.... and.... wait for it... GO! |
| ... my mother would be proud. Last night, in our final V-ball game of the season, I spiked the ball at a girl who wasn't paying attention and struck her in the boob. It wasn't like I was aiming, but man, she got a shock. It was a Mammary Massacre, and a bitter sweet moment for me, which was highlighted by this string of dialogue: "Oh snap! Boom! Did you see that, yo! I'm so sorry, I really didn't mean to This is my house! Check yo self, again I am so sorry Best spike ever!" Then I ran around the court collecting high fives from everyone. And in that moment something weird happened. This poor girl must have been wearing an electric sports bra, cause it blew up, and just like in The Natural I ran through the night and raining sparks, victorious. It wasn't like I was aiming, she was straight ahead of me, so naturally in harms way, as all things straight ahead of me are at all times. If anything, I'm the victim. That's right, me, just think of the stories that will be passed down by and told in sea captain voices: "Aye, it was back in ought-nine when yer granny lost the use of ol'lefty. Destroyed, it was, by a beast! It stood 7 feet high and the same across. When the beast walked onto the court, it blocked out the sun! They say he was the result of a bear having mated with a bazooka! And so on and so forth. Here: [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] Now, replace Robert Redford with me, and the stadium lights with a chicks bra and you have last night. |
| ... this morning was a waste. Had all this stuff I was supposed to do in the morning, then over slept, and now I'm too grumpy to do anything. Harumph! Oh, I'm excited about one thing though! QT's new movie Inglourious Basterds (sic). If there's one thing we can all get behind it's liberating Nazi occupied France through ultra-violent means. Brad Pitt's in this film, and it's only fitting that Missouri's greatest actor should be honored here by Missouri's most handsome man . [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] .. we in the killin' Natzi business, and cousin, business is a boomin'. I say this movie is something we can all get behind, but apparently I spoke too soon... militia and white supremacist groups are on the rise in the US. http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090812/ap_on_re_us/us_militia_movement Why does a rise in militia and white separatist groups not surprise me? Could it be cause all this anti-government rhetoric lends to support them? What gets me about the article posted is the conspiracy theory that Mexico is looking to take back the south west... but that's where Texas is! And anyone who reads enough blogs here on WdC knows that Texas is full of "gun toting retards", Mexico surely knows this too! Today is Casey Affleck's birthday which can only mean one thing... it's INTER-HEMISPHERE FACE PUNCH DAY. If you think there's someone out there deserving of a face punch, list them below. Me... I think Rush Limbaugh needs a good face punch, but then, that's a lot of face to punch. |
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