%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 |  My Blog. Generally Intended for Reading-Not Eating!. |
|
Rose-Tinted Ramblings ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** A Little of What You Might Expect & A Lot of Everything Else that You Don't!. My writing style for my blog is invariably 'snarkastic'. This is because I am a nice, unassuming and quietly-spoken person IRL-and this blog is where my innermost moments and torments happen. Trust me, I am no exception to that delightful rule. Greetings! Welcome to my THIRD blog here on WDC. A re-incarnation of my earlier version of my Blog, here "Insanties and Sensibilities" this v.03 should prove to be equally...challenging and hopefully, entertaining. That said, life often weaves through our writing in mysterious ways, and this Blog will probably prove to be no exception to that. We are very likely all quite different, yet the same, us writers and our collective little whims, fascinations and insecurities. |
| March 20, 2008. Whether the Weather be: 49 (F) Partly sunny. Events of Note: Still noodling around here. In the Nudes: 200 antiwar protesters arrested across the U.S-146 in SF  I'm still here (in a manner of speaking). Immersed in some fairly demanding writing assignments @ the moment, as well as developing my webpage (link posted here soon)-so am not around Blogville that much, sorry to say. Not forgetting changes happening with home, work, preschool, and fending off this terrible virus, still.  Since holidays and high days are now etched so impressively on "Beanie" 's imagination and psyche, that I crept out this morning, and found her a few Easter treats. The thought of her being even the slightest bit disappointed by a distinct lack of eggs, bunnies, and other symbols of fecundity, didn't bear considering, really. No Peeps, this year though, by deliberate choice. Revolting little inventions. So, that's where I'm at. Hiding with the eggs  Happy Spring!. Have a wonderful, safe and loving weekend! |
| March 18, 2008. Whether the Weather be: 50 (F) Overcast Events of Note: My husband has been told to 'look for work elsewhere' In the Nudes: Tibet. Well, we duly drove up the mountain to the dental clinic that accepts our health insurance, yesterday. Sweet husband's tooth is fixed, albeit possibly temporarily. Drilled and patched. Pending a root-canal. While in the general vicinity, we had a pleasant day's visit with our in-laws. Didn't get home till 7pm. So, it was quite an exhausting day. Then, my husband's employer called to ask for something-not unusual, after-hours. Anyway, his employer basically told him that she now has another (younger, pissy-er) chef, and doesn't need my husband to work in her restaurant kitchen, anymore. Granted, he'd recently been on light duties because of all of our illness, but it still came as a complete  . She still wants him around for small administrative tasks, but asked that he go and look for work elsewhere (or sign up for unemployment). After 25 years, there was clearly no loyalty, and the employer wasn't prepared to negotiate. My husband isn't that difficult to work alongside, but he has expectations of other staff, and I guess the situation in the kitchen wasn't shaping up particularly harmoniously. Still... That said, we'd privately been contemplating starting from scratch, nothing, and venturing out on our own to run our own establishment. Just not without a bit of notice beforehand, is all. My poor husband was as white as a sheet by the time that phone conversation ended, and felt extremely crushed, and, well, betrayed, in a way. We think we've been rather forgiving and flexible with pretty much being on-call, day and night with this owner. And, to be honest, no amount of monetary consideration really compensates for such dis-jointed disruption in our home and family environment. So, it is the end of an era, and we need to make a fresh start. Dunno with what, but we are highly pragmatic and resourceful and something with happen for us.  "Bean" is back at pre-school, today. We'll see what else she manages to pick up in the way of bugs or nasties. Apparently, while my husband was dropping "Beanie" off, one of the staff came in and was asking the teacher for permission to work today, despite being quite visibly unwell. Teacher said it was okay, if she went and got a doctor's note. Lovely. So, now we have the staff spreading boogers, too. Easter celebrations won't be up to much in our household, since we are non-religious, but perhaps it will be an opportunity to celebrate our wishes for improved health, and new beginnings, of sorts. |
| March 16, 2008. Whether the Weather be: 51 (F) Sunny & Windy Events of Note: Still limping along. In the Nudes: Riots in Tibet intensify. Sometimes, my New Zealand (Kiwi) accent gets me into trouble when I'm misheard by U.S folks. One such incident was - fortunately, in some ways, with my MIL. I was explaining to her one day, "(Mr Rainbowapple's) going to be really happy when his deck gets fixed." Long dramatic pause on the part of my MIL. Then, she says, "What's wrong with Mr R's dick?". Hmmm, this was going to be a delicate conversation cock-up to solve. "Oh, there's nothing wrong with his dick", I continued enthusiastically, trying to stifle a giggle. More silence. She was quite visibly wrestling with something internally in her mind, so eventually I said, "Oh, I was really talking about the D-E-C-K out the back that he's in the midst of constructing." Her relief was palpable. "Ohhhh, my mistake-I thought you were wanting some marital or medical advice." Then there was the situation when I was having my first consultation with my breast surgeon. I was explaining, "My right breast has a lump" Again, confusion. "So...you have a limp breast?-Well, some women naturally have one breast that's lopsided, or, er, that appears smaller than the other..." "NO", I insisted, "I have a L-U-M-P in my breast." He chuckled, "Well, I can tell you that you have the most confusing vowel speech pattern that I've ever heard." Cripes...Well, the one WDC'er that's talked with me in real life is Nada   I hope she didn't have any hair-raising difficulties like my MIL. The mind boggles. Or, was that, biggles? Have a great Spring Saturday!. |
| March 15, 2008. Whether the Weather be: 49 (F) Partly sunny. Events of Note: Limping along. In the Nudes: Killer tornadoes hit U.S South (Georgia, on the border w/Alabama). Limping along today, feeling like crud. I nursed "Beanie" until the earliest, grey, early dawn morning light, then crawled into bed, myself, until 12 midday. At which point, my sweet husband had to go to work. Wind-chill factor is something else again, today, so we're not venturing anywhere-the delicious-looking sunshine is highly deceptive. In stark contrast to last night's battering of freezing hail and sleet, though. If "Beanie" has another night tonight, like last night, we're taking her to the E.R for a breathing treatment. Poor darling is just exhausted, to say nothing of us. Kåre Enga in Montana  's thoughts on blogging have some interesting insights. Well-worth a read. |
| March 14, 2008. Whether the Weather be: 43 (F) Light rain. Events of Note: Our family is in sickness turmoil again. In the Nudes: Many people want more than one lover. Not I. Well, we're back to Square One again, or was that Screw One?. This 'flu has reappeared just like new, with another wave to bring us all down. As of tonight, "Beanie" is extremely unwell yet again. Coughing that almost paralyzes her tiny body, and it's all that she can do to howl and shake. Seems she was re-infected at pre-school, and came back home and gave it back to me. Add to this, hubby has an emergency dental appointment on Monday (broken tooth)-dentist is 70 miles drive away. Our ducks are dead. One got dragged off by raccoons and eaten, but my husband interrupted an attack on the second duck, and managed to rescue it, however, it has since had to be put to sleep, due to horrific injuries  My FIL (up at the mountain) is seriously ill with this rotten 'flu-MIL says things just GOTTA get better. Telling me. We're several ruts in the track away from being a train-wreck of a family. Really, really, really need to pull it together here, and it just ain't happening...Oh, and my husband has to work all through the Easter break, on a restaurant re-model project for the sushi bar. Hoppy. Hoppy, Joy, Joy!. I'm off to take some more medication and to nurse my sick daughter. |
| March 14, 2008. Building Bridges Please Note: The following entry/article deals with the topic of suicide, and with the graphic forensics of death resulting from one particular form of suicide Not intended to offend nor disturb those who are sensitive to this issue. For additional support, information and resources, please scroll to the bottom of this entry. In addition, all of the information discussed in this entry is available within the public domain. Acknowledgments are given in brackets [ ] For reference, this entry will also be posted as a ‘Static item’ in my port. At the end of April, 2004, while severely jet-lagged and ‘high’ on love, I crossed the Golden Gate Bridge for the first time ever-that landmark, infamous structure that connects San Francisco to Marin County, California. That surreal day was clear, with a hint of light mist billowing eerily around the looming rust-orange towers. Once ecstatically on the other side, we hastily stopped at a lookout, and my soon-to-be fiancée eagerly and graciously snapped pictures of me standing with ‘that bridge’ towering in the background. Back at his house, five hours later, I attached those very same pictures to an email message to friends and family members back home in New Zealand, with just the subject line: “I Made It!”. Our next trip across the Golden Gate was headed north in July, 2004 to catch our flight to New Zealand to get married. In that seemingly short space of time, numerous people had used the Golden Gate Bridge as their instrument of suicide. That same year, a producer and director named Eric Steel and his camera crew, camped out around that bridge, for what the county, city and bridge authorities thought was to capture the allure of the bridge and its surrounding landscapes. The film crew took around 1000 hours worth of film. However, what film director Eric Steel was also actually doing, in glaring, grim reality, was filming 23 of the 24 ‘jumpers’ take their lives on that bridge. In his subsequent documentary film, “The Bridge” (2006), he explores the beauty and pathos of the Golden Gate Bridge, as both an American icon celebrating life and legacy, and as a haunting, raw and rare documentation of suicide deaths. (The film is rated “R” and is an independent film production). The Golden Gate Bridge has long been considered to be the world’s most popular, accessible and alluring place from which ‘jumpers’ can take their own lives. The majority of documented suicides, jump from particular light-posts on the eastern side of the bridge, closest to San Francisco itself.[Infoaesthetics]. Some commentators have suggested that there is something about victims wanting to face inwards. The main railing is a little over four feet in height, with the ledge directly beneath that, equally reachable. At an average speed of 75mph, the suicidal fall takes four seconds and is fatal in 98% of all cases [San Francisco Chronicle] The Coast Guard has a boat on standby almost continually, staffed by people wearing “HazMat” suits and masks-apparently to counteract possible leaking body fluids as victims are recovered from San Francisco Bay ["The Bridge"]. Throughout this film, the life and demise of one particular young man is utilized as an ongoing motif. His name is Gene (Eugene) Sprague. I use the term ‘is’ because Gene’s memory, writing and artistic work has since been steadfastly maintained online by his numerous friends—something that they say that probably would have pissed him off. Yet, perhaps ironically, this director and his crew filmed Gene pacing the bridge for a total of 93 minutes. Because Gene was in a public place, this somehow made this permissible. At least, in the judgment of the film-crew, it did. Or, did it?. Much was made in the film of Gene’s longstanding expressions of the desire to take his own life. But, who are we to judge Gene for his views, choices and actions?. Even as we sit in the comfort of our viewer-ship, Gene’s solitary, prowling figure is jarring, un-nerving and, ultimately, heart-breaking to encounter. So, was Steel’s filming of Gene (in a clearly agitated state) permissible?. Moreover, Steel took no direct action to aid Gene while filming him, which is also mildly disturbing. Why?. In defense of “The Bridge” Steel and his crew claimed that they were in regularly close contact with authorities whenever they spotted someone on the bridge who may be a potential ‘jumper’. Perhaps this background information goes some way towards explaining some of the negative public reaction that branded the documentary close to something like a stinking snuff film. For these reasons, amongst others, I think that Steel’s film, “The Bridge” is a double-edged sword. It leaves behind more troubling questions than it answers. As active participant observers the film crew appears to have been exploitative and manipulative, yet they were casting the light on the desperate shadow of a story-deep, dark and disturbing— and yet, is one that cries out to be told. Which then begs the question, where does the line exist between balancing the integrity of artistic and creative works and acting in the best and most ethical interests of a wider public?. It may be, I suggest, as delicate as the subject matter of the film itself. For about as long as the Golden Gate Bridge has been in existence, (70 years) there has been ongoing debate about the construction of a suicide barrier, as a deterrent rather than a preventive safety measure. The scale and scope of the debate has varied widely over time, and has included practical considerations such as cost, aesthetics, structural integrity of the bridge itself, the historical significance of the bridge, and disruption to other bridge users, as well as moral and emotional stances and viewpoints. Around 1300 people make up the suicide statistics for the Golden Gate Bridge since it was opened in 1938. [Source: Marin County Coroner, 2008]. An average of one person every 15 days of the year is counted as a suicide statistic on the Golden Gate. Currently, the Golden Gate Bridge Board of Directors is in the process of conducting a Suicide Deterrent System study, first initiated in the Fall of 2006. There are three basic concepts being subjected to wind-testing and further engineering research and development. These include, adding to the existing railing, replacing the existing railing, or utilizing nets that cantilever out horizontally. [Source: Golden Gate Bridge Suicide Deterrent Study, 2007]. A final discussion document is now anticipated to become available in late 2008. Meanwhile, Marin County Coroner, Ken Holmes, has released figures for 2007. At least 35 people are known to have died from committing suicide on the Golden Gate Bridge. The youngest person was 14 years old, and the oldest was 84 [Source: Bridge Rail Foundation Press Release]. Still further, and equally as troubling, 70% of last year's suicides were witnessed by bridge pedestrians and commuters.[Source: Bridge Rail Foundation Press Release, 2008]. A sign posted at various key points along the bridge tries to offer some form of redemption, precisely where and when some may feel that there is none at all. Its white letters on a bright blue background say simply: “Crisis Counselling. There is Hope. Make The Call. The Consequences of Jumping From This Bridge Are Fatal and Tragic.” Much earlier, in 1923, the poet George Sterling wrote : “Tho the dark be cold and blind,/Yet her sea fog’s touch is kind/And her mightier caress/Is the joy and pain thereof/And great is thy tenderness/O cool grey city of love!”[Wikipedia] For me, the GGB will forever be symbolic of my beginning a new life in a foreign land-that romantic and idealistic and majestic United States of America, and of a belated painful realization. That no-one held out their hand to Gene that terrible day, May 11, 2004, and said, “Gene-you can make it, too”. Dedicated to the Memory and Life of Eugene (Gene) Sprague (December 11, 1969-May 11, 2004) REFERENCES Friend, Tad “Jumpers” New Yorker Magazine. Golden Gate Bridge Highway and Transportation District: http://goldengate.org/news/ Golden gate bridge suicides: data visualization and visual design (2006) http://www.infosthetics.com/archives/2006/07/golden_gate_suicide_infographic.htm... Golden Gate Bridge Suicide Deterrent System Study: http://www.ggbsuicidebarrier.org/ Holmes, Ken (2008) ‘Gate Bridge Suicide Death Toll: At Least 35 in 2007-’ Marin County Coroner’s Office, California. The Bridge Rail Foundation: http://www.bridgerail.org Zinko C, (2007) ‘An inside look at who jumps’ San Francisco Chronicle: http://www.sfgate.com/ SUICIDE RESOURCES & CRISIS SUPPORT. If you’re worried about a suicidal or distressed friend or family member: - DO Talk, Listen and Care. -DON’T wait to get professional help-even if the person who you love ‘jokes’ about having suicidal thoughts. -A little empathy and compassion matters a lot to anyone in the midst of a crisis. For Yourself: -Asking for help implies personal strength, NOT any kind weakness or failure, nor a fuck-up on your part. -If you want to talk about any of the issues raised in my article, please do not hesitate to email me on this site. I also have the same SN on MySpace, if you prefer to use that venue. Or, email me and ask for my offline email address, Skype chat details, or my private home number. Don’t think I won’t care-even if I don’t know you. Online: http://www.suicide.org Call-Lines: For IMMEDIATE assistance within the U.S: Call 1-800-784-2433 or 1-800-273-TALK [8255] (National (U.S) Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-SUICIDE/1-800-784-2433) California Crisis Line (714) 441-1414 In the United Kingdom-helpline: 08457909090 (U.K local rate) ***You are never truly alone, no matter how low you feel*** |
| March 13, 2008. Whether the Weather be: 48 (F) Cloudy-looking like rain. Events of Note: Allegations of yesterday proven unsubstantiated. In the Nudes: U.S military accidentally kills Iraqi child. So, the inspector with the clipboard showed up here. Pleasant enough, perfectly affable chap. Established very quickly that there's no basis to the official complaints. He was here all of, oh, five minutes. Followed that up with a call to the City to make sure there wasn't anything else they needed from us and that's the end of it as far as they're concerned. As homeowners here, we too have rights, and one of those is basically being left alone to live our lives. With "Beanie" at school, I suddenly actually have a free morning, except that my sinuses are really bothering me, as is my circulation. Terrible body aches last night, and I ended up putting on my Icebreaker thermals (the thermals that I purchased back in New Zealand, when I was considering taking a job in Ontario, Canada at one point). "Beanie" fell out of bed twice, too. Well, that's pretty much 'it' for today. My FIL's 'flu battle continues. We've had this bug for 40 days and 40 nights, already, and are still getting through it. |
| March 13, 2008, Whether the Weather be: 48 (F) Rain. Events of Note: Naught so strange as folks, eh?. In the Nudes: WDC's very own Lifewriter!. I didn't have anything much resembling dinner tonight. Oh, wait, yes, I did-an anemic-looking microwaved beef stroganoff. My husband is in bed early: bone tired and crankily depressed. "Someone" anonymously complained to Environmental Health and the City for us apparently having garbage on our property, using our campers and trailers as dwellings (which we don't) and a whole other raft of unfounded accusations. Environmental Health were concerned about rodentia. I've got news to the contrary. We've set electronic traps recently and gotten a total of nothing. Rodentia, my arse. Ants, maybe... We don't use our trailers as dwellings. We use them primarily as storage and keep the lights running in them at night, as security, behind our fence. Anyway, there's someone, a Suit from the City who'll be here to see us tomorrow morning. Probably with a snappy clipboard and a cute little digital camera. We have our hunches about who complained, and they've never bothered approaching us directly. Regardless, we'll deal with this official communication channel, just to show that the complaints aren't justified. We shouldn't have to, but that's just the way it is, so we may as well be diplomatic about it. Whoever it is, has complained vigorously before, and the complaints have later proven to be entirely without foundation. Same BS, new year. Good grief-anyone who regularly reads my blog here understands how OCD this household is about cleanliness. Seriously.  "Beanie" was a right regular toddler, today, chewing me a new ear with constant lamentations of, "I want..." and "What's that?" and "Where's Daddy". If she even mildly suspects that I may be tuning out or being even vaguely non-responsive, she comes up and gets up in my face over it. The first 50 times were adoringly cute. But eight hours solid of it wore me pretty thin. How much re-direction can she reasonably take?. You'd be surprised about that, too. If she's like this now, whatshegoingtobelike when she's ten?. I got the strangest email from my lovely MIL, today. It simply said: "Woot for the vacuum cleaner today". I'm like, WTF?. Not someone else complaining about our cleanliness, I hope!. So, I emailed back and said, "Huh?". Maybe it was some kind of pre-St Patricks Day joke, or maybe she experienced a "Senior Moment"?. Current ant population: two new fatalities.Total resident population in laptop: Nil. Think I genocided them quite well with some solid air-extermination (thanks, Mavis Moog ! ). Together with rigorous follow-up with something the restaurant uses-commercial grade, all-purpose, health inspection spray. Two more victims just limped out of their 'tomb with a view' only to be triumphantly squished by moi. Wait, wait....I just caught another opportunistic escapee exiting the new laptop, my new laptop, that's sitting beside the old one. Don't tell me!!....It could be a long night in the trenches folks...Spare a thought for the battle-weary. On all fronts!. Makes me think of Churchill-"We will fight them in the battlefields...we will fight them..." You get the mental picture. Anything else might give ME nightmares. Tomorrow, prophetically, is another day. Give me strength... |
| March 11, 2008. Whether the Weather be: 52 (F) Cloudy Events of Note: More ants... In the Nudes: Obama wins Missisippi-if I spelled it wrong-TUFF!. I've been busily developing a web-page, which has meant my attention has been re-directed elsewhere. As well as contending with/addressing various issues at home. I was up and doing at 6:15am-house-working, networking and paper-working.This was after I managed to get to bed at 2:00am. My midnight oil should be priced at US$104 a personal barrel at that rate!. "Beanie" had an excellent first day back at pre-school. The moment that I/we walked in, I suddenly realized, comfortingly, that someone had dropped a disinfectant bomb in that whole place, and it was really quite CLEAN. Attendance in her class is currently down by 75%. My FIL's flu is worsening, despite him having had this year's 'flu shot. Meanwhile, The Hormone Fairy is in full, screeching flight. Oh, yay. The ants have completely colonized this laptop computer, unfortunately. Just add butter and jam, and it's basically ant toast, now. Bugger... |
| March 10, 2008. Whether the Weather be: 54 (F) Overcast. Events of Note: Ants have invaded our old lap-top computer. In the Nudes: Pope adds to the "Seven Deadly/Mortal Sins" New sin: polluting. A mild improvement in our household today. I've a crook guts, and associated ailments, cleverly disguised as The Hormone Fairy. Bitch-kitty. "Bean" is quite a bit better, thankfully. To the point where we're considering sending her back to pre-school tomorrow. At the moment, she's sitting in her favorite recliner chair, molding cerise pink clay in her little hands (mashing it into the furniture, actually), while watching a "Hefalump' DVD. For the past two days, I've been writing an article that's been a particularly draining and daunting exercise. My husband tells me that it will have a very limited audience appeal. Tossed and turned for two consecutive nights because of it. Sometimes, I write because I just wanna put material 'out there', y'know?. If it changes one person's thought-patterns, I'll be well-pleased. Spring storm blowing in, so, I should get everything settled.EDIT: Oh, yeah...the ants. Our old laptop is crammed with the busy little blighters. They stream out of every technical orifice and outlet. We've been colonized by a bug, and it's not a Trojan or a worm-or worse, a cockroach  Just one more freaky characteristic for our ailing Presario 2800 dinosaur. |
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
