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 |  My Blog. Generally Intended for Reading-Not Eating!. |
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Rose-Tinted Ramblings ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** A Little of What You Might Expect & A Lot of Everything Else that You Don't!. My writing style for my blog is invariably 'snarkastic'. This is because I am a nice, unassuming and quietly-spoken person IRL-and this blog is where my innermost moments and torments happen. Trust me, I am no exception to that delightful rule. Greetings! Welcome to my THIRD blog here on WDC. A re-incarnation of my earlier version of my Blog, here "Insanties and Sensibilities" this v.03 should prove to be equally...challenging and hopefully, entertaining. That said, life often weaves through our writing in mysterious ways, and this Blog will probably prove to be no exception to that. We are very likely all quite different, yet the same, us writers and our collective little whims, fascinations and insecurities. |
| March 01, 2008. Whether the Weather be: 45 (F) Severe hail-storm Events of Note: Ongoing illness-ongoing and ongoing and ongoing, and not gone... In the Nudes: Israel kills 46 in Gaza attack.  Last night was unbearably long, and miserable. Every breath was an immense effort: I was lightheaded, with blue-stained fingernails, and a chest that felt like a mutant buzz-saw, my throat closing over, and my face shrinking scarily tight in complete muscle spasm. At 1:00am, followed by 4:00am, chased by 5:00am, I took my many different emergency medications. 5:00am was my 'marker' for deciding to opt in or out of another breathing treatment at the E.R. 5:00am came and seemed respite enough that I could waive an early Saturday a.m visit to the hospital. Part of me did not relish the thought of sharing resented space with junked-out junkies, drunkards, and belligerent, yet frail older people. An Emergency Room is almost always filled with society's paradoxes, weaklings and unwanteds and folks of high expectations seeking medical accountability, weekends or not.  It is when you become acutely ill, that you come to comprehend, even in the midst of moments of non-lucidity and sheer, feverish desperation, how your world turns, and how it will continue to turn, regardless of your own continued presence within in it. How trivialities do as trivialities almost always are- merely mascarading as minor inconveniences, and nothing more than that. Paperwork piles up silently, laundry morphs into moldy masses. I was not myself this morning (a peripheral part of me still isn't), and it's just not that important anymore. The state I'm in is the state that I am, and that is all there really is to it.  "Beanie" meanwhile, I'm delighted to report is fortunately faring much better by comparison. My MIL camped out here graciously for two days, then scooped up "Beanie" and took her back up the mountain, this morning. I shed a few tired tears at the loss of her shrill little voice and impatient footsteps, but the change of scene, altitude and attitude, will do her greater good. Thank-goodness I have a resourceful and pragmatic mother-in-law, who can anticipate and facilitate care, comfort and intervention.  If another night/morning like the last one eventuates tonight, I will probably go back to the hospital. I am beyond suffering just for the sake of it, and my life isn't just about me anymore. I'll fight, but it will be a good fight. Enough self-interested prittle and prattle for today. Storms outside are easing, and the front garden looks freshened, florally festive and inviting. Red robins are rioting with raucous crows and bawdy blue-jays for tree territory. Lots of discussion of Spring, but maybe I should gently walk the walk, before I talk the talk. It seems easiest, that way. |
| February 28, 2008. Whether the Weather be: 43 (F) Cloudy w/rain. Events of Note: E.D visit In the Nudes: Dunno-haven't looked @ paper yet. ER visit at 5:00am today, because of unstable asthma, related to this flu bug. Had an urgent breathing treatment-oxygen and albutarol by mask for forty minutes, and four Prednisone pills. Basically put me on my arse, but who cares?. Not moi. So...I'm on hiatus for a while. Have to rest and self-manage and all of that exciting jazz. "Bean" is headed to Dr Jeff today. If there really is a flu epidemic here, there surely was no evidence of it in the E.R at 5:00am today. More later-I gotta rest. |
| February 27, 2008. ...finally. The DHHS and Department of Public Health in our County has conceded that we have a 'flu epidemic. Declared about three weeks too late, apparently, since the worst of the epidemic is over. NOW they're telling people to keep their children from school, and for people to stay at home. The newspaper only just ran a major headline on it today. Ridiculous. Considering that I've been reading press releases from the CDC and WHO for over a month stating such, exactly who has been paying attention to this issue?. This is primarily because of general apathy. If it doesn't directly affect people, most folks could care less. What we need is a good, old-fashioned worldwide pandemic, to get our public health priorities straightened out. The current 'flu vaccine is only good for three of the five major flu viruses circulating around at the moment. IF YOU HAVE THE FLU-STAY AWAY!.  |
| February 27, 2008. Whether the Weather be: 45 (F) Dense Fog. Events of Note: Feel soooooo exhausted. In the Nudes: Turkey tells Iraq there's no timetable for pullout. Sad to say, I'm deteriorating again. That's what this bug does-gives you a short-lived window of hope, then smacks you around for another round. Most of last night was spent in racking coughing fits, to the point of retching, and a headache that just wouldn't seem to quit. Don't remember falling asleep, but I managed to-from exhaustion, eventually. Before that-until around 4am, I was monitoring "Bean"'s breathing and cough (as instructed by Dr Jeff). Poor Beanie-Bop is obviously struggling at night-makes an interesting, high-pitched sound just before she has a coughing fit. Not so much barking last night, but a tough night nonetheless. Meanwhile, my sweet husband slept soundly. That's okay-he's working some 12 hour shifts at the moment, and it seems unfair to give him anything additional to worry over, especially at night. MIL shows up soon, thankfully. Spoke with my mother in New Zealand, yesterday, for all of seven minutes (calling card was running low). She said I was sounding awful-gee, thanks, Ma. Asked what treatment I was on, and when I said only prescription lolly water, she almost fell off the phone in horror. These U.S. docs don't know shit about my medical history, and if I try to explain, I'm told by the health profession that I don't have that right. Huh?. Don't mean to sound rude, but the lovely doc who examined me last time, was about 15 years my junior. Must be me getting old and cranky-and cynical. As my mother frequently says, I was socialized in the socialized medical system. I've logged more clinic hours, for longer than some of these young docs have been out of diapers. Have been following the New Zealand story of Lucy Laws. Lucy is three, and she was recently diagnosed with leukemia, pneumonia and a fungal lung infection. Either one of those diagnoses can be deadly, but together, the odds of survival are grim to non-existent. Less than ten days ago, Lucy was literally at Death's Door. I'm not sure that I believe entirely in miracles, but Lucy has since improved beyond all expectations, and is now sitting up in bed, eating and watching movies. What a kid. You can read Lucy's Daddy's blog and Updates on Lucy at: http://www.mayormichael.co.nz/ Her Daddy is a writer, and also mayor of a really attractive city back in New Zealand. Well, that's it for me for today, folks. See you around Blogville. Ta-rah. |
| February 26, 2008. Whether the Weather be: 48 (F) Partly sunny. Events of Note: Day 15/16 of 'flu In the Nudes: Jersey children's home child abuse case. After a particularly rough night, last night, followed by an urgent pediatric consult, it was determined that "Beanie" has croup. If she's no better in a few days, she has to go in for a complete workup with her best buddy, Dr Jeff. It feels much less stressful with a pediatric doc who is available and willing to listen, as well as talk, 24/7. In the meantime, I had a terrible night myself, once again, so I'm about to call my clinic again. My mother-in-law has offered to drive down from the mountain and help us out for a few days. My darling husband worked 12 hours without a break, so he's pretty exhausted too. We are resourceful usually, but we have limitations as well.  Discussing my scars recently reminded me of the fears that I used to have about hospitalization as a child. I'm writing an article on that subject at the moment. Well, there's a lot needing doing, even if my MIL is going to make an appearance here, so I'd better take some medication and press on with my day, despite a horrible headache. |
| February 25, 2008. Whether the Weather be: 50 (F) Partly sunny. I'm actually hoping for a t-storm. Events of Note: Day 15 of ze bug. Last night sucked. Still does, frankly. In the Nudes: Turkish troops and PKK continue to battle in Iraq. Gawd... Dunno how long we can keep on battling this pernicious bug. Last week was pure survival on our parts-ran out of everything in the pantry and fridge-not even any T-bags left. None of us could care less. We all sound like a crappy chorus of barking seal pups. Looking at B-grade films only adds to our sense of general neglect and degradation. That said, last night's highlight was "Iron Jawed Angels" with Hilary Swank and Angelica Huston. Great soundtrack, too. Before that, I watched 10 episodes of George Clooney's "K Street". Majority of the staff at the restaurant are on indefinite leave. Everyone is going down like flies with this 'flu. Besides that, the boycott remains with most everyone also refusing to work Mondays. Which means only one thing. My husband returning to work. Actually, he's no longer infectious per se, and will mostly be doing administrative junk, and measuring up to alter/build more restaurant. Really wanted it to rain today. Perhaps it still will. Need something to clear the air around here, like a thunderstorm. Hope to be back to commenting in Blogville today. Time will tell. |
| February 24, 2008. Whether the Weather be: 48 (F) Cloudy with Rain. Events of Note: Day 15 of flu-maybe 14-lost count. In the Nudes: Serbia blames U.S for crisis in Balkans. Still in the grips of 'flu. I'm the one that seems to be lagging, here. Yep, lag. Not jet-lag, either, more's the pity. Found a beautiful face cream that counters that, so that's not my real issue. My issue is my lungs. Well, the fantastic woman who introduced the list of five to Blogville, has started a scar disclosure discussion. Mine total more than five. I've put mine down by year, so here goes-my Scar-lett Retrospective- Dedicated to Scarlett. 1972: Scar on my collarbone from having a central line and shunt inserted for life-saving medications when I was a tiny baby. I still have this scar today. 1974: Scar on my neck from a third-degree burn. 1976: Four scars-two on each leg from a major bi-lateral lower limb, double surgery. 1977: Scar on my scalp from being pushed against a bathroom door by a school bully. 1980: Scar between my nose and my top lip following a fall. 1981:Achilles tendon scar on left heel from tendon release surgery #1 1982: Additional scar from revised surgery above 1983: " " 1984: Another surgical scar-same site as the two above 1986: Scar at back of my left knee from left knee flexor release surgery 1986: Additional scarring at rear of left knee following post-surgical infection. 2005: C-section scar 2006: Breast surgery excisional biopsy scar. So, there you have it. You know it all, now. Know what the politically correct name for lobbyists down on K Street is?. Political strategists. Ugh. |
| February 23, 2008. Whether the Weather be: 47 (F) Cloudy Events of Note: Day 14 of 'flu. In the Nudes: Obama's wife says something that's true, but wrong (according to some). Well, our little household is still mercilessly ravaged by this beastly bug. Day 14 was kinda sucky, and the first day where I actually conceded that I had to go to bed until 3:00pm. Watched movies after that. "Beanie" has slept all day, but now awake and sharing a fresh peach smoothie with us. I've regained some peripheral sense of taste and smell, but everything is blunted and strangely without the everyday sensory nuances that we come to take for granted. We are all without any stamina worth a jot. Not sure, but I think I've lost five pounds or so, since all this began. |
| February 22, 2008. Whether the Weather be: 49 (F) Partly sunny Events of Note: Well, someone loves me, lol In the Nudes: It's Friday-ask me after the weekend. I received an email death threat (spam) in my Inbox, first thing this morning. Confirmed as a scam by the FBI. Charming. Apparently, the scammers are now being much more blatant in their deceptions, and tend to target 'white collar workers' and 'professionals' for what basically amounts to extortion via email. I wasn't too easily fooled, as the subject line read something like, "You Need to be More Cearful!". Which is my timely cue to change my email addresses and passwords. Day 13 of this 'flu illness. Funny how Day 13 feels kinda like Day 1. Must be our Lucky Day  I was trying to write an entry here earlier today, and "Beanie" threw up all over my lap, which sort of curtailed activities somewhat. Ah, isn't life interesting when your opinions and experiences collide with others who have an entirely different outlook?. |
| February 21, 2008. Whether the Weather be: 60 (F) Partly cloudy and stormy Events of Note: Day 11 of 'flu In the Nudes: Pakistan tries to form a coherent government. We're going through a George Clooney phase with our film choices at the moment. Being ill and thereby incapacitated and isolated affords more opportunities for watching what "Beanie" enthusiastically refers to as "Moomies". So, we've seen "Sand and Sorrow" and "Michael ....Crigh...Chricg....oh, anyway, I know what I mean. This Oral Gualfenesin with Codeine and Cherry/Menthol Flavor is some serious lolly water. It's what used to be in Robitussin A-C before all of the hallucinatory ingredients were removed, because teens were suddenly too interested in "Robo-tripping". Anyway... Did you see the Lunar Eclipse?. If you missed it, you can catch the next rocket-ship powered by Richard Branson to see it in 2010. At the rate she's going, "Beanie" will probably already be up there. |
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