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 |  Sing it if you understand... |
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2Am and I'm still awake writing a song If I get it all down on paper it's no longer inside of me threaten' the life it belongs to. And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd Cause these words are my diary screamin' out aloud And I know that you'll use them however you want to. But you can't jump the track We're like cars on a cable And life's like an hourglass glued to the table, No one can find the rewind button now Sing it if you understand...and breath... ~ Anna Nalick ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** This blaze was destined for you to be refined My plans for you this battle I had to require Even though, the fire is known to leave ashes behind These ashes will leave in you a God-Given Fire... ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** This woman prays... ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ~ Isaiah 61:3 To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion to give unto them Beauty for Ashes the oil of joy for mourning the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness that they might be called trees of righteousness the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified. |
| I have much to say... no time to say it... Not even sure that I'd say it if I could... I prolly should, but I'm all burnt out on this life... there's got to be something more.. This song is my song... I guess it will always be song that's my story... don't stop loving me, I'll never stop loving you http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oKTiwCez6Zs |
| I have been surfing the net! And just what has got my attention this dark and gloomy ending of yet another hump day spent here in Slowdeatha Texas? ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Let's see if I can narrow it down... Irritability - Nervousness - Lack of control – Agitation – Anger - Insomnia -Difficulty in concentrating -Lethargy –Depression -Severe fatigue -Anxiety -Confusion -Forgetfulness -Decreased self-image -Paranoia -Emotional hypersensitivity -Crying spells -Moodiness -Sleep disturbances -Abdominal cramps -Bloating -Constipation -Nausea -Vomiting -Pelvic heaviness -Swelling of the ankles, hands, and feet - weight gain -Breast pain -Acne You want some shit? I’ll be your huckleberry… Eve you wicked woman, you done put your curse on me Why didn't you just leave that apple hangin' in the tree You make us hate our husbands, our lovers and our boss Why I can't even count the good friends I've already lost Premenstrual syndrome (PMS) is a medical condition that affects some women of childbearing age. The exact cause of PMS is unknown, but it seems to be related to the fluctuating levels of hormones, including estrogen and progesterone, an one in three women suffer from PMS, and one in 20 suffer so severely that their lives are seriously affected. Many women with severe PMS have a personal or family history of alcoholism.  A history of sexual abuse, particularly in childhood or adolescence, may be common in women with severe PMS, as well. Interesting… In the 1890’s - Many women wore cloth pads that measured 24.5 x 11 inches long! Folded into thirds probably pinned to a belt around her waist. Sewn on the corner of each pad were the owner's initials. (Wouldn’t want to get those dudes confused)  In 1914 virtually every woman used cloth menstrual pads; commercial tampons for menstruation did not appear until the late 1920s or early 1930s (Tampax appeared about 1933), but they were not popular. Apparently women either (1) washed their cloth napkins or (2) burned them in a fireplace in the room they were occupying. There were also special portable burners available as early as the 1890s in England specifically to burn menstrual pads! The commercial menstrual cup, a device inserted into the vagina to collect, not absorb, menstrual blood, has been around at least since the 1930s, when the American Leona W. Chalmers patented it. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Looks comfy don’t it?  Uh… the big part goes IN … Made of HARD rubber? I’d rather make a trail of blood … thanks though! Women didn't buy many of the Chalmers cups when the company sold the hard rubber cup right before World War ll, and it failed. It wasn't until 1959 that Tassette, Inc., began marketing a softer version , in collaboration with Leona Chalmers. It also failed, in the early 1960s. No… You don’t say… I don't even like myself, but it's something I can't help I got those God almighty, slap somebody PMS blues Most times I'm easy going, some say I'm good as gold But when I'm PMS I tell ya, I turn mean and cold Those not afflicted with it are affected just the same You poor old men just have to grin and say "I feel your pain" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mCwKbUVyHLY – Here’s a cute video from the 1950’s about PMS, only two minutes… check it out … Aboriginal Australian men exercise ritual power through ceremonies in which they cut themselves to imitate women's menstruation. In some tribes men actually cut open their penises to reproduce the look of a bleeding vulva. Men… The Yurok say that when a woman is menstruating she is very powerful, and she should isolate herself at this time so that she should not waste her energy on every day matters, or have her concentration broken by members of the opposite sex. All of her energy should go toward meditating on the purpose of her life, and gathering of her spiritual energy. They believe the flow of blood helps purify a woman's body for spiritual tasks. I’m all about that! These guys are on to something! Among the Arapesh people, who live in New Guinea, there is a traditional celebration of a girl's first menstruation. She stays in the hut for three days, fasting. She drinks no water and eats no food. On the third day she comes out and an uncle makes little decorative cuts on her shoulders and buttocks. This is called scarification, and is considered a beautiful way to decorate the body. No water? No Food? Cuts on the shoulders and ass? On top of bleeding to death?!?! Forget that! You know you must forgive us for we care not what we do I got those can't stop crying, dishes flying --- PMS blues In the South of India and in Ceylon, The girl sits on banana leaves and eats raw egg flavored with ginger oil and then she is given a bath in milk. When this ritual is over, the whole family comes together to feast and celebrate her becoming a mature female. I’ll take the Milk bath… I'll pass on the raw eggs… please In Korea a girl may be given a dinner in her honor when she has her first period. One of the traditional dishes for this occasion is special soup made out of seaweed. She gets honor and seawood soup! What do I get? Told to stop bitching! Don’t be a wuss… This ain’t right! You don't want to cross my path Cause a pitbull ain't no match For these teeth a clenchin', fluid retention Head a swellin', can't stop yellin' Got no patience, I'm so hateful PMS blues, premenstrual syndrome Got those moods a swingin', tears a slingin' Nothin' fits me when it hits me Rantin', ravin', misbehavin' PMS blues I thought this was interesting: Birth Control from the Old Days! They used quilting squares of cotton, rubbed lard into the cloth (about four Inches Square) and used it like a diaphragm during fertile periods. When Coca-Cola was available it was easier to use, you just shook up the bottle and inserted it to douche. The six-ounce size was perfect. Ewwww! I have been glued to the net for almost four hours now… surfing in and out… all around… all about being a woman! Check out the Museum of Menstruation  Damn interesting!! www.mum.org I love being a woman… { middlefinger } don't want to talk about it, we both could do without it Got those treat your kids bad, don't you talk back Gone ballistic, unrealistic Awful lowdown, bitch to be around PMS BLUESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS ~ Dolly Parton ---- Sweet Dreams!  Nighty Night!!! Don't let the bed bugs bite! |
| To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes.... —Isaiah 61:3 KJV Multiplied thousands of people have been hurt severely in their lives. They come from broken relationships or abusive backgrounds that are still producing bad fruit in their personalities. God wants to send the wind of the Holy Spirit into our lives (Acts 2:1-4), to blow away the ashes that are left from Satan's attempt to destroy us, and to replace those ashes with beauty. Consistently bad fruit comes from a bad root. No matter how much we may try to get rid of the bad fruit, unless the ROOT is dealt with, bad fruit will continue to crop up. God created us to be loved. He wants to love us; He wants us to love each other, and He wants us to love and accept ourselves. WITHOUT this foundation of love and acceptance, there will be no joy and peace. Some of us need to be transplanted. If we started out in the wrong soil, Jesus will transplant us so that we can get rooted and grounded in His love, as the Bible teaches. Know that you are valuable, unique, loved, and special. When THIS is your foundation and your root, you WILL produce good fruit. Ask God to give you beauty for ashes. Say This: I was created for love. God loves me and wants me to love Him, love others, and love and accept myself." ~ http://www.joycemeyer.org/OurMinistries/EverydayAnswers/DailyWord/beautyforashes... ** This morning I did NOT want to get up! I thought long and hard about calling in to work just so that I could go back to sleep! I moaned, whimpered and sniffled my way to the bathroom, turned on the bathtub water… it took a minute for the hot water to kick in and I thought to myself… Ah ha! If the hot water doesn’t kick in, then there’s my SIGN! Stay home! Yeah, it kicked in… So here I am earning my dollars, against my better judgment. I’m thinking about putting the Christmas decorations up around here. Is it too early? I tried to listen to traditional Christmas music yesterday as I worked but it wasn’t working for me. A hot shower can change your total outlook on life! It did mine… Still I noticed the thoughts in my mind were silly… He said, she said… on and on and on… ad infinitum So I said “God… Empty out my head!!” and it worked… for a minute…about sixty seconds… Eww…The battlefield in the mind… it’s like a minute by minute thing… Sometimes day to day is too much to ask. I colored my hair on Sunday… well in fact; as Meow was writing her life story I had a bottle of blonde on thy head! I think I left it on there too long! Whew… I’m SO blonde now! It looks nice with the pale green blouse I am wearing today, but I’m going to have to condition like crazy! Feels like hay to me… FINALLY!!!!! November 27th… I realize I’m not crazy! It’s just one of the benefits of being a woman! Life is grand… Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. – Romans 8:35, 37-39 |
| My car was an ice cube this morning. Gay man that lives directly across from me leaves in the mornings at the same time as I do. There he sat snuggly in his car letting the heater kick in and watching as I scraped layers and layers of ICE off of mine! Got my Christmas dress all wet and froze my little toes that were sheltered only by my FAKE leather boots and skimpy valentine socks. Hey! They were covered! No one could see my pink-hearts and blue butterflies! He obviously drove his over the weekend… mine was parked since early Saturday morning. His was just a little nippy… mine was froze the fuck over! He lives upstairs and right in front of me. I only have to pull the blinds when I have a male friend staying over… cause other wise, he ain’t interested in what’s going on over here. He carries around his little band instruments. I think he is a music teacher. I really get a weird feeling about him… I know I’m being tacky… He’s prolly the nicest dude/ dudette there is! But he looks twisted to me… I think I’ve watched to many Court TV shows. Gawd, I have been in such a shitty mood today! ** Jen screams towards the sky ** JUST LET ME BLEED! Another day has almost come and gone Can’t imagine what else could wrong Sometimes I’d like to hide away somewhere and lock the door A single battle lost but not the war The bullshit that I normally look past… wasn’t so easily looked over today. I felt froggy a few times… I got awfully close to jumping! Finally I am home and alone! My nose is cold, my toesies are frosty … I’m going to take me a HOT HOT HOT shower, say a little prayer and dream about sleeping on a satin sheeted bed with a huge Oak headboard that sits in the middle of the beach. The sun shining down on my perfect porn star body, and Jessie! ** Jen Shivers with excitement ** Jessie my imaginary friend that only cares about satisfying me is going to cum for a visit! He’s going to make everything all right… Then he will be gone again and I don’t have to smell his dirty feet, wash his nasty underwear or cook him no dinner! Nope! It’s all about me… Yeah! Tomorrow’s another day and I’m thirsty anyway so bring on the rain ~ Jo Dee Messina |
| I’ve been on an emotional roller coaster most of these days off from work. I’m up then down… up for a minute, crash back down… it really SUCKS! I guess it’s just life. I stopped taking my hormone meds and I feel the difference. It’s not so bad really… I’m handling it better than I use to but it’s still a ride none the less. Damn… Skittles just called and I ignored the phone call as I have done a hundred times, he leaves message saying he is outside by my car. He knows I am home, the lights are on… He’s hoping I’m not mad… blah blah… What the hell is he coming by my house at 9:30 at night anyway? He can’t call during the day… make plans to come visit … why wait till 9:30 at night? FUCK THAT… I don’t need that bullshit! I got conditioner all up in my hair! Got on my PJ’s and house shoes… I don’t need no visitors seeing me like this… He acted all butt hurt… I haven’t heard anything from you. You don’t answer the phone. Have I angered you? Oh Pleaaaaaaaasssseee… Fool doesn’t call on Thanksgiving Day to say hello (As I would assume a friend would do) but he comes by on a Sunday night for a Booty Call! Yeah, this ain’t my first Rodeo… This reminds me of something Randy and a million other user losers would do… Forget that fool… he just needs to go play nice guy somewhere else… Shithead I didn’t pick up… the answering machine eventually cut him off in mid sentence. Man, there are vultures in the sober world too! A girl can’t get a break no where… I’m upset tonight. I was upset before that call and now I feel even more confused and upset. I feel bad cause it’s damn obvious I am home… the blinds are open and everything! Well… I don’t want no visitors! He deserves the snub showing up this late at night ain’t even got the decency to show up during daylight hours or to call and make plans. That I would have turned down anyway… but STILL. He knows I get up early for work. Yeah… I’m not stupid, he was hoping to crash over at my place tonight. That ticks me off… Am I just trippin? I could very well be… I just know that I ain’t settling for that no more. If you can’t treat me like a lady… a friend… a human being that you have respect for… then don’t waste your time or mine! Anyway, I have been doing to much thinking lately. I’m actually looking forward to going back to work. I’ve had a lot of time on my hands… and it wasn’t fun but half the time and the other half I’ve been all pissy feeling. My cooking was fun. That was the first time I got all into cooking without getting buzzed. It was an experience for me. It’s like I’m learning to do normal stuff that normal people do all over again… and I did well. No thoughts or urges to get a drink. I’m really on top of this drinking thing… it wouldn’t take but one drink to fall back in the pit but it’s not so hard because I don’t have that habit anymore. We humans really are creatures of habit. I know I am… I have an overstuffed freezer now! Hungry? Come on by… ( DUring the DAY) I got food running out my waazzooo … I froze the meatloaf into serving sizes so all I got to do is grab it, nuke it and eat it! Froze the red beans and sausage, the cornbread and the mashed Tators! I googled the mashed Tators and read that it could be done! It’s all in little serving sizes … would be like nuking a microwave dinner or something. SEE… If Skittles would have been like a normal friend and called me earlier and said he wanted to visit, I could have had a meal for us… I don’t want to think this way … cause Skittles sure puts on that Spiritual show… Yeah, ok, he is still a man but you would think the fool would have a little more respect for a lady. Oh, He just pee’d me off… Didn’t take a whole hell of a lot either. Well… I did have a blog topic. I was going to try to think of somethings I’m doing right so that maybe it would cheer up my mood…but I’m just bitchin’ and I can’t stop! It’s past my bedtime too… Night night… Ohhh... I'm not grumpy no more... I just got blasted up out of my low and now I'm HIGH again! Thanks... bugzy is baaaccck!!   ... for being so kind to me... Made my  +  instantly turn into  +  + plus another ... ![Merit Badge in Journaling
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Without a doubt- you are one of the best bloggers on this site. I look forward to reading you everyday (and even a few times a day *^*Laugh*^*) You share your day, your struggles, your triumphs, your learnings and even the antics of your kitty! Thank you *^*Heart*^*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/type-Journaling-2180.gif) Thank you so much Bugz! |
| Hi, my name is Meow Meow. My person is Jen, I think some of you may know a little bit about her. She sits at this computer all the time when she is home and I get so upset about it sometimes but then she gives me tuna so I just eat and I fall asleep. I was born sometime in early 1996, My person who I call Mom has a picture of me before my eyes were even open but she put it somewhere that she could find it and now she can’t find it. You maybe are wondering where I got my name from, well my biological mother was pure black and she was my mom’s cat too. When she would cry out for her babies she would cry out loudly, Meow Meow… and my real mom would get a chuckle every time because I would come running. My brothers and sisters ignored the call but I always came. So my mom started calling me like that to. They thought about naming me “ Cali ” for a short while cause I was the only one of my brothers and sisters with these colors but my dad demanded they keep Meow Meow as my name and so it was. During my childhood years, we did a lot of moving around. I was full of pee and vinegar too. Once we lived in a house with concrete floors and I broke so many of my mom’s little knick-knacks cause I would play so hard and knock stuff over and they would shatter. My mom was not happy with me but that didn’t stop me. I couldn’t help it! I caught myself on fire once because I wasn’t sure what a candle was and I had to sniff it out. I learned that lesson and so I don’t go close to burning candles anymore. I use to get to go outside when we lived in this house and that’s when I got knocked up and had my first and only set of babies. I had them at the safest place I could find and that was in the corner on my mom’s side of the bed. She came home from work that day and I came running out to her. I was so scared. I was skinny again and covered with blood, all my babies were healthy, Thank God, but even though I was now a mother, I needed my mother! She helped me with them and she helped clean me up. They grew big and strong and my dad wanted to keep one of them but my mother said no. She only wanted one child to be responsible for. Not long after she took me to the doctor and got me fixed. She said that she had a hard enough time finding good homes for my first bornes. So she fixed it where I couldn’t get knocked up anymore and she started keeping me indoors! I did not like this. I cried all the time. I wanted to go out and play, but mom kept saying no. She said she loved me to much to take a chance of losing me. My mom and dad starting having lots of visitors over. They would turn up the music and stay up all hours of the night. There would be trash bags full of empty stinky cans and Dad would blow that smoke in my face, it made me feel real weird. I didn’t like it. I would go sit in the corner and stare at all of the people there as they laughed at me. Once my dad and his friends cut off my whiskers, my mom got real mad to. They had a big fight and dad never did that again, but he still would blow that smoke in my ear and then spin me around on the kitchen tile. I just learned to stay away when all those people were there cause I knew I’d be part of the entertainment if dad got an eye’s view of me. Though I liked the attention, It just wasn’t worth it. I did love my dad though. He was a lot nicer when his friends weren’t around. I would shake my butt every time he came in from work. I would be waiting by my food bowl and have my butt shaking just for him, I would cry out and tell him how much I loved him. He would fill my food bowl for me and give me a few strokes. One time we lived in this apartment and the owners found out about me and told my mom she had to pay all kinds of money or get rid of me. My mom didn’t have the money. She was very sad. I walked in the bedroom and heard my mom crying and overheard her talking to God about me! I don’t really understand what my mom says all the time but I just knew she was talking to our Creator and I knew that she loved me a bunch. I rubbed my nose on hers and tried to tell her it was going to be ok. And I was right… we never heard back from that landlord, it’s like they forgot or something. I’m not real good with keeping track of time but some time later I watched my mom pack her clothes and leave my dad’s home. She left me behind to. She told me she had no where to take me right now. I was really sad. My dad was really angry and he treated me bad cause he knew it would get to my mom. He took me over to his sister’s house and left me there. It was the worst time of my life! His sister had a big dog that hated cats and she would let him in the house, they tortured me! They knew it would hurt my mom. She kept asking for me and my dad just told her that she left me when she left him and she couldn’t have me back. Well then this nice lady came and stole me out of that big dog’s house and took me to my mom! I was so happy to see my mom! We cried and laughed and played and she fed me all kinds of good stuff! We haven’t been apart since. My mom promised me that day that she would take good care of me all of my life. So far she hasn’t broke that promise. Mom got lots of money from somewhere and she bought this really nice furniture and I had a blast clawing on it! It was just the right kind of fabric that made my claws feel so goooood. Well, then she took me back to the doctor again and had my fingernails taken out! I was upset about that for a while but now it doesn’t bother me much. Then mom got really strung out and she sold or threw away all our stuff! We lost our little dollhouse and lived a pretty rough lifestyle for while. We kept moving around all the time, this time without dad. And then my mom met this guy that she thought she loved. He lived far away but he came down and spent some time with mom and I overheard them talking about where they will live. Mom wasn’t happy with our hometown and didn’t have a good job so they both agreed she would be the one to move. But mom’s biggest concern was me! She wasn’t going to go because she refused to leave me behind. I overheard my Uncle J. ask my mom if she wanted to see the world and live her life or does she just want to be an old lady with her cats? That convinced my mom to go and she decided I would go to. It was so hard for me to ride in the car for all that time! 1700 miles! I got so stressed out that little bumps started popping up on my back. Mom got me some meds from the vet that were suppose to sedate me but it made her so sad to see me knocked out that she didn’t give me very many. Plus I fought her… I don’t do pills! Well, things didn’t go so great with the guy from far away but he was nice to me. So I had no problem with him it was the road to his house that sucked! Well not long after, mom loaded our belongings into the car and she and I headed back home. We left far away guy… far away. I remember mom cried for a long time after that. She promised me that she would never do that to us again. I still get a little scared when I see mom pick up my potty and head for the door. I hide because I get flashbacks and wonder if we are going to go for another trip to hell and back. It took a good while or me to recuperate from that trip, I was scared a lot but now I’m all better. We have lived in the same place since we got back from far away guy’s house. I like it to. I have my own ledge to walk on. I get to hang outside on the balcony. I have my favorite sleeping spots. Back of the recliner, back of the sofa, in the closet, on the bathroom rug, I even have my own pillow! But sometimes I just sleep on the edge of the bed I love boxes! Mom always brings me home boxes cause she knows I love jumping in and out of them. I love baskets too! I scratch on the windows and mirrors sometimes, mom says I look like a dog when I do that. Sometimes I stand up on the back of the sofa and scratch on the hanging pictures. My favorite toy is a powder puff. I use to dig through my mother’s makeup bag until I found the powder puff of my choice! I slap it around and make it fly through the air. Then mom got smart and started buying me my own powder puffs, but I still like hers better. I like crumbled up paper too. I have learned my mom’s habits and I know what time to wake her up in the morning. I put my 12lb body right on her gut and dig in my paws, yep! Wakes her up every time! Once I know she is awake, then I just go on and wait for her on the bathroom rug. Our special time is mostly when she is sitting on the potty. Yeah! Mom would be embarrassed for me to tell you this but she pets me while she pees. I know when I hear the sound of the toilet paper rolling that our time is over so I rush out before her and stand at my bowl, shake my butt and await my breakfast. This morning mom was in a extra special lovely mood and I cuddled with her under the covers for a while. We talked about old times, had a few laughs, even had to hold back a few tears, then mom said to me “You have had a rough life, but you’ve always been loved.” Yea. Mom and I are both real lucky to have each other. |
| I didn’t get so far in my cooking plans. I’m just in an icky mood! It comes and goes… changes every other hour, but I really haven’t been able to really enjoy frolicking in the kitchen. I did get my meatloaves cooked. I have never cooked one with brown sugar and I haven’t tried a bite of it yet so I don’t know how it’s gonna be. The recipe I found said to butter the loaf pan really good and put a layer of brown sugar and ketchup on the bottom of the pan. Then add the meat, bake for an hour and then flip it. So I cooked it upside down… I haven’t flipped em’ yet… but what I’m thinking, the brown sugar is going to add a sweet crunchiness to the top of the meat loaf, which is now the bottom of the meatloaf… but will ultimately be the top… with me? I lost myself . I chopped up some celery, onion and bell peppers, threw a hand full of diced tomato in the mix. I tossed in some green olives, cracker crumbs, two eggs, a splash or so of milk, seasoned with garlic powder, lemon pepper and well this tomato base sauce that is seasoned especially for meatloaf. Cheater! Yeah yeah… The beauty about meatloaf, you can throw in there whatever your little heart desires… You can just clean out your fridge and make a meatloaf. It smells very yummy here in my home! I also baked two more Sweet Potato Pies; I had to do something with those yams! So I’ll be taking one to work, I gave my step-dads to Justin’s boy so I had to make him another one anyway. Hey, I was just goggling and did you know that a sweet potato and a yam are totally different? So I should be rightfully calling this a Yam pie… A sweet potato has yellowish meat and a yam is orangy colored. The textures and taste are totally different too! Learn something everyday… I didn’t get my hot rolls or Apple cake done… nope I lost my fervor. I’ve had most of my attention on movies for the last six hours. First, I watched “Spiderman” the movie… then MIB part 1, now it’s MIB part 2. The first time I seen MIB 1 was in a Casino movie theater in Las Vegas with my dad. I wasn’t 21 yet but they still let me gamble! I imagine had I won they would have asked for some ID then! I just turned OFF the TV… why? Cause I got something to say… For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus hath made me free from the law of sin and death. ~ Romans 8:2 IF you operate under a legalistic mindset (or Old Testament law), all it does it cause you to sin more and feel worse about yourself. You can not approach the bible as a LAW… Not even the 10 Commandments. The commandments are just as valuable in the New Testament as in the OLD but the difference is JESUS! Under the new covenant, through the power of the Holy Spirit dwelling on the inside of US… There is a guarantee that if you follow Jesus’ leading you WILL keep the commandments. It’s neither by might nor by power … but it is by God’s SPIRIT that we keep these laws. The work of a believer is to BELIEVE! The new law by Christ Jesus… sets us free from the Law of Sin and Death! So you can either keep banging your head against the wall and keep trying to do everything yourself OR fool yourself into believing it’s all man-made…or you can turn to Christ and believe that he is dwelling on the inside of you… This MEANS power! The Holy Spirit, or grace of God is the POWER of God coming into our lives to enable us to do WITH EASE what we could never do on our own with any amount of struggle or effort. Do you struggle? Then you are not in the Will of God. That’s not what we are supposed to be doing. When I’m struggling, I remind myself of the above statement. It’s a process… a gradual thing. Our Faith grows as we USE it! Not through quoting Scriptures or having a legalistic mind set! Faith Confronts, Deals, it doesn’t run… it goes through… Faith will step OUT into nothing just because GOD said so! Why does God choose the weak and foolish of the World to confound the wise? Because we scream out to God from our knees… “LORD… You have GOT to help me!” Pay close attention… Romans 7:6 – But now we are delivered from the law, that being dead wherein we were held; that we should serve in newness of spirit, and not in the oldness of the letter. We are discharged from the law… now we serve not under obedience to the old code but under the obedience of the prompting of the Holy Spirit. So you can make every commandment of the bible a LAW… and you can work and struggle and try and live in fear, no matter how hard you try you just can’t do it… OR you can TRUST God and believe that His spirit is in you… to lead you, guide you … and you can follow the prompting of the Holy Spirit. It’s your choice… I choose the LATTER… YES we do what is in the bible… read below  ! Hebrews 4:2 For we also have had the gospel preached to us, just as they did; but the message they heard was of no value to them, because those who heard did not combine it with faith. IT does NOT mean someone is incapable of witnessing to another because they don’t throw scriptures out at them word for word! I’m happy for you if you can quote scriptures but I can’t! There are some parts of the bible I can’t read cause I FALL Asleep! I know those chapters are there for a reason… it could be for someone else… Just ENJOY God… 2 Corinthians 3:6 – He has made us competent as ministers of a new covenant—not of the letter but of the Spirit; for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life. The Letter can kill if not properly taught… this is why GOD must be there… You can’t read it with your head… You’re HEAD got you to where you are now! What we need is to know the Spirit of God… When we become Christians, God writes His Law on our Heart… The Holy Ghost will gladly show us right from wrong. Sure we need to know the bible, we don’t read it like a LAW, we read it like a promise that will be fulfilled in our lives IF we TRUST God! Legally written codes… Not Me or My Gods BAG… Talk to me about something that matters! ** Jen steps outside for fresh air... get's knocked out by a snowball ** Thinking... but I ain' drinking!  |
| Meow and I have started cuddling in the mornings. My cat is so cute and she is really smart too. Has a little mind of her own. On these cold mornings I find myself hightailing it back to the bed and getting up under the covers. Meow comes over and uses her little paw trying to get in there with me. I will lift the covers up like a little tent and tell her “come on with it, it’s cold!” Well in the past she would just sit there and stare into the darkness under the blankets… She just wouldn’t get in there for some reason. Till finally I forced her in there and held her close to me, at first she was a bit freaked but soon the purrs could be heard. Well now it’s like a morning ritual for us…every morning… I hightail it back to the bed and under the covers, She jumps up not long after, uses her little paws to tell me to let her in. I lift the covers like a little tent and NOW she gets right in there… snuggles up right next to my boobs and belly… and we do the little love cuddles for a while. She doesn’t stay long… maybe she gets bored… but it’s so precious…. I love Meow Meow! Here is a pic of Meow and my mom, for those that haven’t seen it before. You can see the balcony that I write about often and the awesome view of the brick wall in front of it!! ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** I just called my mom’s cell phone and no answer. I just wanted to tell them to be safe traveling. It’s not unusual for her not to answer. She doesn’t keep it turned on most of the time. But I did leave a message. My sponsor was beeping on the other line as I left message on mom’s voicemail. She invited me to come over and watch a movie and have lunch with her son and she. I declined and I’ll tell you why. It’s too freaking COLD! No really… I have plans already. I just got back from more Wal-martin’! I just spent $100 on groceries! I shit you not! What in the world am I thinking! It just felt so good cooking the last few days… I am addicted and I don’t want to stop!! Cold days like this are just perfect to have the oven turned on! I’m going to cook a Brown Sugar Meat Loaf… Going to make some homemade hot rolls and a Cinnamon Apple Cake! Oh I went coo coo at the store. I bought some baby back rips and pork chops, got a bird and some smoked sausage. A buggy full of spices and all kinds of little storage and freezer baggies! If they had planned to do the movie later in the day, I would have offered to bring dinner but it won’t be prepared in time for lunch. I’ll end up taking much of it to work, freezing a lot of it or maybe I could invite someone to come eat tomorrow? Justin and his son, Dustin… is who I sat with at the Thanksgiving meal up at the club. In fact, Sheree thought that Dustin was JJ’s brother (my nephew). Actually, many people that didn’t know me just assumed I was Dustin’s mother. Justin says it’s the German in us that makes us all look alike. I have talked about this before! Justin is just familiar to me… he like reminds me of my brother or something. They also invited me to come over and watch movies on Thanksgiving Day but I declined then to. I’m such a loner! Honestly, if it was someone I was attracted to I would have been all for it. Though Justin is really cool in a lot of ways, he is just too clingy and needy. And NOW his boy is in need of a woman’s love and touch since his mother has given her rights away. I really wouldn’t mind taking the boy in… it’s the dad that I’m not interested in! Just a friend… is all I want but he flatters me every time I’m around him, makes it well known that he is not interested in just friends… so it kind of makes me want to stay away from him. Dustin (the boy) likes me too…most kids do, but I think he feels the familiarity as well. Strange that is… Justin has a great sense of humor… I’m still cracking over this, but another man stood up and spoke to everyone in the room while we were eating, he made a comment that he was sure glad Justin was here cause if not, then HE would be the ugliest son bitch here… everyone laughed, Justin acted like he didn’t even hear what dude said… a few minutes passed and Justin busted out in his deep, strong voice… “What A DICK!” … It was hilarious!! This is me and Justin in Ft. Davis. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Well… I’m out for a while, Gonna get to frolicking in the kitchen… and doing my thing! I hope everyone has a great Saturday! Saturday right? I’m so throw’d cause of the extra days off from work! Love ME Would ya! |
| I have been in a strange mood most of the day. I’ve leaned towards pessimism in much of my thoughts. This is not normal for me so I know something is brewing under the surface. A visitor is on the way. Fun. I woke up at 6AM this morning, just grumpy as hell! Made myself go back to bed and rose again at 10AM. That is soooo sleeping in for me, I needed it. Still I was tired! Lay up in bed watching TV, the water was out so I couldn’t shower. (Pipes froze) I sure wanted a hot scorching shower! I had to turn on my heater today! Put on my little booties cause it was dang COLD in my little home! After getting nice and warm, I fell back to sleep, finally awaking fully for the day at 7PM tonight. Forced myself to get my home straightened up and organized. I always feel better when things are where they are supposed to be. Took that hot shower I had craved all day, watched the news and learned MORE SNOW is in the forecast. It’s going to be a white weekend! You folk up North may not get all that excited about the snow but we do here in West Texas cause it don’t happen much! I started getting stressed cause my mom and Mike hit the road this morning going to Amarillo and when I heard the news talking about the icy road warnings… I started thinking about the WORST. Then I thumped myself on the head saying… “Pray about it, dork!” And I did. So… since I boiled way too many Yams. I only needed three for two pies… Another thump on the head to self… So I goggled Yam recipes to see what I can do with those big boys. I ended up making some Yam Biscuits. I had all the ingredients to do so and I whipped it right up… Their OK… Not bad for a white girl… but I still have two Yams to go… I think I am suffering from a Turkey hangover. I got the turkey blues… Way too much eats going on over here! And I been playing around in the kitchen again today. Whipped up a sausage and red bean concoction. Made my ‘to do’ list for tomorrow. I’m hoping to get out early before it gets real snowy. The weather dude said about 6AM is when the fun will begin. I use to take most of what I cooked over to Armand and Rudy… Now I don’t know what I’m going to do with all the stuff… maybe take it to work. Or FREEZE it like I do my chicken. I was thinking about Shafter today. It still is a shocker when I remember that he is dead. I guess I think he is just out there living his life and when I realize that I’ll never run into him again… it makes me sad. I think I’m going to get horizontal and try to stay warm. Good Night… |
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