to me, the "A Car's life" is more spiritual than sad. It oozes symbolism in every line. symbols an metaphors abound. This is both personal and pertains to human situation as well.
Despite the smooth parts, security is not guaranteed in a car.
The second part of the narrative poem provides the reasons why. A lot depends on the driver. He could enjoy the comforts provided and enjoy the sites rolling by while his favorite music flowed.The car cannot do that for him, naturally. It is just a machine.
Subsequent parts of the poem let us glimpse at the insecurities lodged in the mind of the driver.
"From far, it looks like the car is carrying you,
Come near, realizing that you are driving the car."
It sounds like a human story.
The body(car) can function smoothly only with the help of its owner. He or she should know how to handle it and reap the profitable pleasure. Mind, body, soul(like the different parts of a car) should assist him/her in his/her journey of life.
"Please cherish your journey,
While I dedicate you my entire life."
A very appealing autobiographical story and service of a car.
It has a smooth flow and an impressive style.
this combination of an angel and a devil sounds like human psyche itself. I think the devilish part dominates by description and detail. "Gemini" the positive mutable zodiac sign is effectively turned into a sign of negative energy.
"Pandemonium is their harmonium"
and,
"They specialize in lies
Victimize those you despise"
Stanza 3-
appears special with effective word endings like "specialize", "Victimize", "despise", and "guise". They certainly add to the negative resonance of a dark dreamscape.
A nightmarish Halloween poem, threatening to "tear" a "fragile soul" "asunder".
Hi Nicky,
I have thoroughly enjoyed this special paranormal poem. My review is for your WDC Account Anniversary. Congratulations for being a dynamic writer for one more year at the WDC.
The idea of a vampire on a vegetarian diet is so different. Looks like this vampire is health conscious too besides being sympathetic to animals.
Vegetable imagery is quite eye-filling and appealing as well.
“Pomegranate, you rock my world”
This is one of the most benefitting fruits. My favourite as well.
This vampire’s search for vegetables is quite heartening. It could go to a vegetable market and get what he or she wants.
As for the sauce, it could go to any of our houses to have that wish fulfilled.
There is so much pain in a fistful of heart. But a woman bears it all finding solace in tears and hiding behind hope, an ephemera. This candid poem brings out all of it.
" All I see is a tear stained face.
Trying to make you love me,"
Now that truth is out in the open and the key to freedom is to shed the shackles of fear, there she is, walking like a warrior to deal with the inner enemy and then to pave way to freedom. Quite a telling change in a feeble heart.
"“I am a strong woman”"
It is now justified.
Freedom is "where the mind is free".
Great imagery and rhythm. Images are seen by the mind's eye.
this review is for your WDC Account Anniversary. Congratulations on completing another year of creative writing at the WDC. Have a lovely day!
Mother's wisdom cannot be questioned because she is a mother and well experienced. It is good to see that Matt's mom did take interest in his friends and watched their behavior well. That's right, that's what I did too with my children's friends.
Bobby's suggestion is quite shocking. He has no business to try and intimidate Matt's mom and dare suggest horrible ways to "get a kick out of it."
Matt sees the truth behind her words.
The story conveys mother's wisdom in quite a convincing manner with the aptly used prompt words.
this rhyming verse clearly mirrors the beauty and tranquility of "emerald isle". I imagine it is located somewhere in the east because one can see such a magnificent sky filled with stars in the east quiet frequently. This is just my imagination.
"The Milky Way showers the ground with omnipresent light
Billions of stars in a galaxy that fills the sky at night"
Experiences of this kind when you spend time in close proximity with nature can be therapeutic to the tired self. It also works like a tonic for the mind.
Your poem brings out difference between the busy city life and the peaceful life of countryside. People should dream more often to escape to the calm and refreshing surrounds of nature, which can enable them to make it a reality.
It flows well with well chosen imagery and poetic style.
Hello GerMac,
it is an honor to review this wonderful biographical piece for your WDC Account Anniversary. Congratulations on completing one more year at the dynamic WDC. Have a wonderful day!
It is really a matter of wonder for me to read your achievements from your college days. By the way you have shown and shone in the fields you chose, I do get an idea of what you are as a person. An intelligent, cheerful, social and dynamic person comes to my mind. I am sure your students, classmates and colleagues are lucky to have associated with you because undoubtedly you rubbed off some of your pleasant qualities on them. I wish I was one of them. I warmly remember some of your encouraging reviews of my humble writings. The points you raised tell me that you are a great reviewer too.
One interesting thing you said was that the WDC shaped your writing talent. I cannot agree more. This is my own experience to say the least.
I hope to revisit your port for my own reading pleasure. In the meanwhile stay safe and enjoy the gift of life.
Hello Jim,
I liked the photo album tracing your visits to various places in the US and Australia among others.
The photos with the caption "meeting of the great minds" certainly makes me curious. I concluded it must be an occasion like a seminar or a workshop.
Almost all the photos are snaps of nature like those exotic looking flowers and the mountain-side creature, historical spots and tourist favorites.
You seem to be a lover of travel and photography. I can see that there is so much to visit and know about in the United States itself.
The trials of speaking another language with half knowledge can create problems such as the one the couple found out in Italy.
An every day thing like getting chocolate was out of reach merely because he did not have the right word for chocolate. I think this story is not only humorous but it also teaches the lesson that people traveling to foreign countries should keep a dictionary for the basic things like water, food and chocolate, though chocolate is not one of those things. people with a great craving for chocolate like Annie should be kept in view.
The wrong word would definite make the vendor raise his eyebrows and look at Johnny as he was mad.
A wonderful story poem. I enjoyed reading about the way the Princess's wish was granted. The story is well narrated with an underlying message. Nothing is granted without working hard. The princess faced trouble on her way and she dared going to the thick forest to meet the midnight fairy.
"She crossed the bridge but a troll jumped out of his house and.."
Imagery and composition are the appealing features of this free style poem. It takes me to the era of warrior princesses and castles on the mountains.
The fairy's character comes through well.
" The fairy was happy. She loved granting
wishes. "
Hello,
I have thoroughly enjoyed reading this informative article on Quartz watches. I was wondering why the Seiko watch was so popular. Now I know why.
You have traced the history of the wall clocks and the wrist watches with great detail. There used to be pendulum clock in our grandfathers' time. As a young child it was great fun and a matter of curiosity for me and my cousins to hear its chimes every hour and the swing of the pendulum.
Then we had a cuckoo clock, which was another curiosity for all of us. The cuckoo used to come out and sound the hour. It was a real wonder for us, when we still did not yet reach the age of "reason".
The digital era completely silenced the time. Now it is shown with a brilliant light like the eye of Cyclops.
"Of course, any mobile phone’s precision is no better than the resolution of the crystal clock (RTC) contained within its case and its last update from its central server together with any non-compensated delays due to transmission to/through the serving cell tower.."
This information tells me that there is still a lot of research going on the time machines( I mean clocks watches etc.)
I wish I had seen the way Tessi's father conducted the witch-hunt.
Well written fantasy on witches and Hunters. Wonderful imagination. The daredevilry of an apprentice in hunting witches is a worthy beginning for her hunting. Hunters are all about hunting and witches are an important target for them I think.
The setting is well arranged. Tessi is still young to try hunting. Obviously, hunting appears to be a craft not merely a hobby or a favorite sport.
What do they hunt other than witches?
It is a bit intriguing for me. This is a new kind of clash between hunters and witches. I read about the enmity between Vampires and werewolves and vampires and magicians and witches and vampires. But not the present clash.
I think a similar pattern of poetry was used by Alan Tate, an American poet about thinking.
What are you thinking?
What thinking?
What?
These lines were impressive trying to dig into my process of thinking.
I think I find your lines interesting because of the connections they establish through the repetitive pattern of self inquiry.
" What's going to happen
What's it about
What to do
What'
obviously, these lines are written after being in a situation, let's say like life under the looming shadow of Carona virus.
Finding the connections and trying to think of answers is the interesting feature of this poem.
You are so right. Each piece of antique has a way of taking us back to the era when it was made and might have been used. The "velvet Queen Ann chair" for example would pull us to think of the women of those days. It must have been made of walnut wood, for it was popularly used. The chair also makes us think of Queen Ann's partiality to women, which made her critics presume scandalous things about her.
The "crystal" and "china" must have been valuable heirlooms too. Think of the families that must have enjoyed breakfast or dinner at the big oak table.
Your poem certainly takes me to the homes and hearths of the people of those day to whom these valuables belonged.
Hello Don,
impressive poem on the casually treated delights of daily life.
Each picture is a reminder of the beauty and grandeur of God's creation for all of us. He decorated the world giving space to each of his picturesque scenes.
"A budding
dogwood tree, the
truth of dawn."
I truly appreciate the "truth of dawn" for I witness it everyday breaking on the eastern horizon.
Some of the metaphors you used make me smile,
"Smiling spring,
active rascal .."
Imagery certainly makes feel the "pull of spring". That's right. It pulls us out of inertia waking us up to renew and recreate.
This bite size poem offers me the gift of forgetting misery and fear. Get away from this too too logical and practical world and melt into the distant shores of dreams and "stars". If there is one way to free the soul, it would be the the ability to fly to a world of fantasy and find happiness.
Free the soul from the shackles of too many attachments and love for the mundane things via high thinking and getting lost in the land of heavenly happiness.
I love the imagery and the rhythm that takes me to fantasy land.
It looks like a first chapter. So far it reads well. You kept up the tempo very well indeed. We are anxious for Laura and we are curious about her mom. There are a number of question marks, which I am sure will be answered in the subsequent sessions of writing I think.
A thirteen year old girl caught in what looks like magic and fantasy drama, perhaps a bit of crime thrown in. The driver appears to be an innocent participant.
What is Aronville and who took Laura's mom there and what happens to her and Laura?
Language is a smooth flow and the situations are created skillfully.
I admire the teacher's presence of mind. She gave the kids the kind of homework ideal for them. The children were at the right age to learn principles of character building. Stealing is one of those vices which can easily enslave a child.
Robby was a victim of that greed. So he was made to learn the consequences of stealing at the right time. At a young age, their minds are like wax. The teacher or the parents can easily mould it in the right shape.
Story is narrated very well. The third grader author had the good sense of arranging the events in accordance with the sequence in which they happened. He created some mystery too, regarding the thief and his timing.
The reasons he gave for stealing are particularly true.
"Stealing gets people in trouble. I would like to have friends that I can trust."
Anyone who died in the service of humanity is a great soul. This "Dream Bigger" is clearly a person of noble motives, i.e. feeding the needy. She had obviously set a standard for kindness and charity.
This poem has a lot of symbolism that speaks of volumes about the kind cook of the casserole.
It is marked with kindness and bigheartedness. Its size matters because not all can cook something as big as this.
"Dream a bigger host to feed;
the hungry are always here!"
Her job was only to attend to the needy and the hungry. May her soul rest in peace.
Imagery appeals to the senses of taste, touch, vision and mind.
I liked this children's story. I can see that you have woven a story with an interesting plot and meaningful dialog and a variety of characters. The kids would no doubt be taken to a fantasy land of the witch, the princess and the magicians.
It's good thing that the witch hadn't transformed the princess into a dog or a frog, which could have been a little difficult for Smiley to talk to her.
I like the style of creating dialog between various characters and took the story ahead.
This story is enjoyable but it lacks proper grammatical constructions. Verbs and nouns must be linked properly. studying a grammar book will help you in learning how to go about sentences.Give attention to grammar and spelling.
Your plot is good and your way of telling the story is also fine. But rules must be followed.
Edit-
"who know all the legends"
(who knows all the legends)
" many of their treasure"
( many of their treasures)
"had draw his attention."
(had drawn his attention.)
"herself buzy"
(herself busy)
"The woman, on her side, had made wise investment. Her future is assured."
You are mixing the past and present tense. Keeping to one tense is needed for a story.
it is an engaging story with interesting characters.
Memories can be truly genuine and cause reunions of the rare kind, like the one that took place between Linda and George. I could see the strength of his memory as he persisted in following her despite her withdrawal and fright.
"A memory popped up, two children playing outside"
The sheer description of the crowds through which George reached out and called her name you created curiosity and hope . The moment of remembrance was painted very well with convincing imagery. The milling crowds fading out with the two people living in a moment of recognition and reunion appeal to me.
I read the story and found it interesting. I also appreciate the way you understand the 'energies that remain "behind".
Little Joey's death by murder was discovered quite convincingly.
That means this incident took place just before the author moved into the house. The buried body was excavated and sent for testing the lungs. Do you mean there is still possibility to for testing the water in the lungs of the dead body? Doesn't it decompose and thus is useless for testing purposes?
It was a new kind of crime detection certainly for me.
Another inspiring poem from your pen, dear friend.
This is exactly how I fight anxiety and worry. A good word from a friend or sister, a brother or a neighbor helps me in maintaining the rhythm of life and find happiness in it.
" ... a good word makes it glad"
As you have said, the approach of night brings on unwanted thoughts to stir fear and loneliness in mind and spirit. Your poem has the best remedy for this malady. Open your book of prayers and read through the verses with love and hope. A wonderful feeling of relief descends and a person finds his/her normal cheerful self.
"I whisper a prayer,
open the sacred scriptures"
The title enhances the effect of the poem.
Images are heart-warming and appealing to my mind as well.
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