I didn't think this one was your best, you don't
really give us a reason to play the games. Involving
a "wife" in this could be more subtly done where you
could weave or ease us into a tale of discontentment
between a man and his wife.
You have been reviewed for a Newbie Award by:
** Image ID #766124 Unavailable **
Again, I like stories with purpose, and this one is no exception. Your description is flawless, you
have a good command of giving us an "accident" appening and then the irony that happens later in the story adds to this story. Very good.
I kind of believe that love is like that. You
mentioned in the poem, all of the things waiting for
a woman and man in the. Garden Of Eden" kind of scenes. Take for instance, the line:Garden's Sweet Of Corrinthians. I realize that. The ever outlasting
source for a good, good,,sense of things. Best of
to you and others there.
First of all, this is a poem with great lines in it. Who can dispute a love like this? Certainly you have come up with a great way to tell your lover how to act or at least tell him thank you for the way he had been treating you. All of the lines are a viable formula. I thought it was a really good poem. Best to you.
It is a great moment when a poet pens a poem in the mists of love. I found that this poem has a fidelity to it and it is familiar to me because I love to write love poems. I think the melancholy shows through and you have given us a good picture of what you want to say. Best to you.
How interesting. I found this poem very nformative and has a great idea behind the words. I think that when asking God or Jesus for help, we can find ourselves in the position of waiting to hear an answer. He should answer, even if it is some small problem we can live with. Your knowledge of Seven Seals comes very original across. Best to you.
Sent from heaven to home. Great plot to this, and it is not as simple as the words profess. Nice rhyme, nice rhythm. When a fable or a tale like this is used in poetry, it becomes humorous to a point, but only to a point. I think this had that sense of things in it. Lots of luck at the Convention. Best Regards.
This is a great and unique poem. I thought I had it figured out until the last line. Perhaps, I am too easy to please, all those great soaking lines that really give you the pleasure of a good author, yet, I suppose, the last few lines suffice. Great Read. Thanks for sharing it with us in the Author Newsletter. Best Regards.
Again, I see you in the Newsletter. You deserve praise for your subject. You have captured an endearing scenario here and did a good job of a wonderful subject. I would like to imagine this happening to me with my boyfriend. Good read. Best Regards.
A very loving tribute to a really sad moment of truth in a bride's mind. War is hell, I think I know what you mean. You have placed this poem in a good setting to show the emotions of a woman in love torn with the consequences of war. I liked it. Really good read. Best Regards.
Such a good winner. I tried this one and "flunked". You have a great grasp of longer lines in the acrostic. This particular poem seeks justice for the landscape we see, and you did well on the "prompt". I liked it alot. Best Regards.
I would like to give this poem a better rating,
because it shows a true attitude of what the subject matter is--women, war, tribulation. I liked the title and your "woman" was very intriquing, almost quite real. Your lines might do with a little more meter, shaping up the poem. Best Regards.
I would like to give this poem more support, because of it's subject matter, the theme, the attitude. I really liked your attempt to put such romantic words into a poem, and to have given us a picture of your age, is ageless! Best Regards.
image:820031}
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/secretvick/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/27
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.68 seconds at 8:32am on Jun 18, 2024 via server web2.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
