Very thorough and detailed article on your experience with poetry, from an inherent dislike to embracing its beauty and vivacity.
I liked your tone throughout your article. It was professional and authoritative. You give good illustrations and references for your points and you make the poetic experience live.
I appreciate all the links and I will take advantage of them.
Thanks for putting this great article together.
Long live poetry. Let's get out there and move it.
Another very wonderful article, but rather than giving straightforward information and instruction, this one reads more like an interactive workshop.
I am not sure why the three stars were used to separate sections. The sections are related enough that a mere paragraph break or a new heading is sufficient to introduce the next item of focus within the greater context.
Still very good and relevant information and logically presented for anyone to follow along.
This very excellent continues to expand on the rich features of the Google site and ways a writer can take advantage of them.
I found the Preferences to be the most interesting since everyone likes to set things up to accomodate the way they work. I have mine set up to display the top 50 hits. Beyond that, if I haven't found what I need, most of the rest is outdated anyway.
I'm glad the articles come with a caution at the beginning to alert the reader to the fact that information on the Internet can be false or misleading. So be reasonably sure that what you have found is a credible source.
This is a very well written article that covers all the basics for a writer to do research using the Google site and search engine. It is clear and flows logically from beginning to end through the main features or buttons at the top of the Google page.
Great poem, great flow and it is a perfect theme and subject for a song-like rhythm.
I have one small recommendation. Eliminate the exclamation point and make it a period. The exclamation detracts from the strength of the language here.
I thoroughly enjoyed this piece, the set-up, the little story and romance. Nice love poem.
This is a very nice poem but it is not a true Shakespearean Sonnet.
Here is a definition:
The Shakespearean sonnet, also called the Elizabethan or English sonnet, comprises three quatrains and a final couplet in iambic pentameter with the rhyme scheme abab cdcd efef gg.
Pentameter is ten beats a line. You have eight beats per line. And you do not fully follow the iambic pattern of a stressed and unstressed syllable in alternation.
I'm not sure I get line four:
Frigid ice is fresh exhaust.
Line twelve is difficult to pronounce with the same flow as the rest of the poem:
Sunlight ignites the ivory suede.
Other than that, it is a really well crafted poem with good imagery and it evokes a sense of the cold winter.
If I were grading it as a Shakespearean Sonnet I'd have to give it a 1.0, but I'll grade it for the nice poem it is with eight beats a line and a nice pattern of rhyme that emulates a sonnet.
I like it very much. Leave it as is with revisions noted, don't try to turn it into a sonnet. You have crafted a nice poem in itself.
I liked the imagery and the colors. The winds also conjure fall. The sound rustling is a fall sound. You set the scenery well.
I moved along steadily until this line:
Grim trees roll across the landscape
It seemed to depart from the flow of the poem, a sudden hurdle to get over in reading. It just did not fit like the rest of the lines.
I read it through a few times and something else began to stand out to me. You picked the longest line to repeat in the first, second, third, and final lines of the four stanzas. I think you would have gotten more punch out of one of the smaller lines.
I tested out the second line and third line. I liked the third line. I think it should be the one you repeat, such as:
Auburn leaves skip along each gust
Rustling in pure tumbling harmony
A crisp, cool breeze drifts through the calm
While tawny twigs tango in the trees.
I sit and watch day fade away as
Auburn leaves skip along each gust
Dark silhouettes jut into the sky
Grim trees marching across the land.
And so forth. It's your poem, just a suggestion. You have to make it live and fit with your experience and imagery.
I liked it overall. You used a variety of senses to evoke the fall image and it is done well.
I enjoyed the overall tone of your poem, it is somber and is just right for the topic of crying. The feel of the poem was nice throughout.
I wasn't real fond of the line:
Overbearing you cannot stop the rise.
It didn't flow right with the rest of the poem and the language used around it. It ran on without a pause and disturbed my reading of the line. Should there be a comma after Overbearing? It appears so.
Also, this line seemed a bit odd:
Why you cry, no one may never know.
Should this be no one may ever know?
I recommend a word change for this line:
Blissfully I think of times gone by.
Blissfully does not match the connotation in the rest of the poem. Perhaps something like:
In melancholy I think of times gone by.
Great overall tone and good language throughout. I like how there is still a rhythm even with the freeform rhyming and lack of a pattern. Very nice job with this form.
I very much like your writing style. It suits a column nicely. Your narrative voice is also just right. A little sarcastic, but not so caustic as to be offensive.
Opening up I saw one error. You wrote: skiing... I made. This is not the correct use of an ellipsis, the three dots in row. Three dots in a row indicate missing or skipped words that were previously recorded or spoken or should go here. The correct punctuation for a pause or interruption is the dash- then continue. For more details on why, see the "Expanded Power Revision Checklist" .
In this case, I actually recommend you do not use the dash either. Simply put a comma here.
Very well written column, entertaining, humorous, amusing. Gives the reader time to think about their own experiences in these different sports.
This is a well crafted poem and some obvious thought has been put into it. I like your use of language and the flow is very nice with appropriate pauses so this doesn't get sing-songy, which wouldn't work for this piece.
I felt the intensity and the "exposing reality" of the poem, the sense that someone is hiding and the other sees through it.
You maintain the demeanor of the poem throughout. I really like the figures and the conclusion of the poem is one of the best lines in it:
Interesting story written well, but full of an incredible amount of typos, misspells, and punctuation mistakes. It needs a good proofing rewrite.
Here are a few samples. My comments in blue.
Prologue:In the Begining ther was...Me
Add a space after the colon, spelled beginning, add "e" to ther to fix typo, use a dash after was-- Me. Why is Me capitalized?
Wow, time sure goes be fast when your lost.
The word be should be by and you used the wrong form for your. It should be you're.
Unfountuitly for me...
Unfortunately.
And on and on. Needs some serious attention.
Good writing though, just get it crisper, sharper, and use more powerful constructions. See the "Expanded Power Revision Checklist" for help with your writing and revision.
Great poem, well crafted, awesome tone, and a gripping read. This one drew me in. I experienced the bleakness of this drought ravaged, sanity ravaged, and physically ravaged urban environment.
The only strong suggestion I have is to lose the three dots... at the end of a few lines. Use dashes or just leave the dots off. They do not work here.
A lesser suggestion is to reverse two words. You wrote:
More of the same: crunching grass underfoot
I think a simple reversal of two words is more impacting and flows better here:
More of the same: grass crunching underfoot
This also matches better with the order of the next line.
Great job, awesome, gripping. What an experience. This is a powerful poem.
Your poem is very interesting and has enough intrigue to keep the reader going, but some of the verb forms seem off.
In line four did you mean The simple purple outwitted by maroon? If not, outwitted works better.
In line eight, did you intend to add the word in before handy?
The eraser comes in handy to wipe off your pride
Also eliminate the three dots in the first line and line 9, and replace with a dash, if needed. Also, eliminate the exclamation point in line 9. For more information on why, see "Expanded Power Revision Checklist" .
The three dots can work if precisely used, and the exclamation can work in the right situation, but both are generally overused and detract from the strength of your work.
Very dramatic ending, and a profound line. This was my favorite:
Living to win the hearts of statues.
Wow, how much more futile can you get? With this poor soul, it is a futile exercise to exist. And the imagery makes it so real.
The poem sets the scene, and uses comparison to show what was snacked on, and then some great words are used to show the other action on that memorable evening.
Very short and to the point, but it gives the picture well, makes its point, and ends. Simple, brief, alive.
This is a very nice outpouring and a great expression of self. It explores a universal theme and draws a positive conclusion.
To craft these thoughts into a poem will take more time and effort distilling the essence of what you have here, down into more impacting statements. The language needs to be made richer, more poignant.
Why is Destiny capitalized. Is it supposed to intimate that it is somehow sentient and god-like? This is not clear.
Also, to late should be too late.
This is like a rough draft poem to me. It is a little raw and just needs some refining work and thought.
Very wonderful thoughts and well arranged. I liked the structure. I thought the last line could be split up into a few with some great effect. See what you think:
That inspires and originates
No one can ever possibly find all the pieces of the puzzle,
For every person's puzzle
Is their personal piece of art
Very cool poem as is. I liked it and it has a great message to think about. What a privilege we get to at least enjoy some of the pieces of it before we die.
Excellent poem. This is specific to an audience that has read Tolkien or is familiar in some way with his work, but you have done a great job of interpreting the culture of another world (fantasy world) and making a poem that expresses it.
Good writing, but not gripping. Drop the three dots in a row, it is overused and misused. Refer to "The Power Revision Checklist" to see why.
Don't go into a long descriptive paragraph about a character. Give a few details and then move on in the action of the story. Continue to reveal more about the character through his or her interaction in the story, give telling details within the narrative and this will be for more efective than a chunk of description.
Use words as much as possible instead of numbers.
Don't interject into the story as the author with phrases like: and this story will prove no different.
You have writing ability and a desire to do it, so persist. Writing requires tons of practice.
Study the details of the work of other great writers you look up to or admire. It will help you find your voice and the power in your prose.
You have great potential. I like your word choices and how the phrases played together. I also enjoyed the deep the concepts you reached for.
Continue to study poetic form and practice the craft faithfully and persistently. Crafting excellent poetry is very hard work, but you get better and better in time and your skills grow.
I can see a "writer's flare" in your style and work.
Persist.
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