This is a good poem for Christmas. You told beautifully through this poem. The poem packed with message. I like this seasonal poem.
Your rhyming is absolutely beautiful. The tone I find this poem is soothing. The poem flows beautifully with your crafted words. My favorite lines
“Teach them to rid themselves of guilt and blame,
that to be loved there cannot be shame.”
It's been a pleasure to review your story "The Whistler" on behalf of "The WDC Angel Army"
First I want to welcome you in WDC. This review reflects my opinion only, and I am not a writing expert. I do hope you find something that is interesting or helpful to you.
FIRST IMPRESSION: This is a good spooky story. I like the setting of the story how you described the surroundings. You told beautifully from first person point view.
THE STORY: This is a tale of a man Jordan who worked in a Gulf station. Which was situated a few hundred feet below the crest of Washburn's Hill. Jordan truly believed his grandma’s quotes for example “Nobody that travels in the wee hours is up to honest doings” , "Don't spin widdershins on a full moon. It'll bring bad luck to you!".
CHARACTERS: I like the character Jordan. You crafted him so beautifully.
SUGGESTION: I feel the ending of this story is a mystery. I think it would be wonderful if you write what happen next.
This is a good acrostic poem. I like how each lines started with. Its interesting to think about. I like the emotions evokes in this poem. The tone I find this poem is soothing. My absolutely favorite parts
Never to see you,
Got to move on.
Bye, I tell you,
And sing this song.
This is a beautiful inspirational poem Jaya. I like the enchanted beauty you have painted here. “mild sun “ “Cloudless sky “ “ lily, rose and creamy magnolia “ all things blended together made a beautiful canvas. It captures the surrounding beauty of nature. I like the title “Season of Joy“.
I like the small rhyming.
You have beautiful thoughts inside every line. My favorite lines
“On the slopes and shades of the mountain range
Far away in the dense forest, on tall trees and bush alike”
Each season brings different looks and beauty which reflected in this poem. I enjoy the scents, colors and sound of this poem.
Good story Rima. I like your scifi story.I like the writers name (Captain Nixie, Captain Lornda, Captain Eyestar) you have been used here. But what I like most is the part of the story “The ship was shaking tremendously now and I was sure it was falling apart when I realized that my hands seemed to melt into thin air.” I like the beginnings of your story. The endings seems little incomplete but I could imagine the rest of the story. I could see extra spaces between the lines. I think you can make bigger story from this piece. It would be interesting.
I just read your piece and thought I would give you some feedback on your work"The Hand The Devil Deals" . I strive to give honest reviews and I hope you find this review helpful.
This is good piece of write about the true fact of world. The title fit’s your article. I liked the concept. I like the descriptions and presentations. The way you wrote this piece keeps me reading it to the end. Your points clearly written. Yes, the good values of human eroding fast taking space of evils . You truly said that all of mankind has been witnesses to the atrocities that have been manifested out of man's selfish desires. Beautifully told and written. Thank you for sharing.
I can’t wait to read another story from you. I enjoyed it reading.
First I want to welcome you in WDC. This review reflects my opinion only, and I am not a writing expert. I do hope you find something that is interesting or helpful to you.
FIRST IMPRESSION: This is a good story. Wonderfully told. THE STORY: I like this story, and how you contrast the two worlds of Adam. Your story tells how bullying destroy ones lives. You paint a wonderfully flawed character Adam. How bright young studious boy turned bad, how he gets into a bad company and had lost one precious year of his life.
CHARACTERS: I like the character Adam. You crafted him so beautifully.
SUGGESTION: I could see that you need some paragraph break . For example between “He had been the topper of his class for the past three years.” And “Adam was one of the prefects of his school, studying in grade nine, with the badge shining glossily on his chest and his head raised high always.”
FINAL THOUGHT: But what I like most about this story is Adam’s realization.
I can’t wait to read another story from you. I enjoyed it reading.
I like this thoughtful poem and the emotions evokes in this poem. I like the picture you have painted here. We are living in a world where of hate; envy and greed for wealth are increasing. War has taken toll of our life. People are dying. You truly said
"How many of us must die,
for the rest of us to feed?
I know I could give my life,
if it would bring us all to peace."
You have written a very good piece of story about thinking chair; I liked the way you told the story with very clear descriptions and presentation. I understand this was written from personal experience and it looks great. This remind me one of my school teacher who used to punished us stand on the sun.
I enjoyed. It's well written . Thanks for sharing your beautiful story with us.
These are my thoughts and ideas alone. Thank you for allowing me to read and review your writing. Keep up the good work, and best of luck with all of your writing.
First I want to welcome you in WDC. This review reflects my opinion only, and I am not a writing expert. I do hope you find something that is interesting or helpful to you.
I like this Inspirational poem. I like the way you put your feelings into words. I like the enchanted picture you have painted here. The tone I find this poem is positive, soothing like cool embrace. your poem has good message that Darkness is not the absence of light and it is wonderful to see the sun after the rain. I found this in this lines
A heartbeat that has been through all of the trials and darkness of life.
A heart that has lived on through it all.
This is a beautiful poem. I like the enchanted beauty you have painted here. “Scent of pine“ “birds “ “Black beetles “ “Baby snakes “ “pond frogs “ all things blended together made a beautiful canvas. It captures the surrounding phenomena . I like the title “Peaceful Rhythms “.
I like the small rhyming. The tone is soothing that makes me read your poem to the end.
you have beautiful thoughts inside every line. My favorite lines
“water yellow and noxious as nicotine.
The day carries its own rhythms
and paints them on a peaceful canvas.”
Nature brings peace in our mind which reflected in this poem. I enjoy the colors and sounds of this poem.
TITLE:I like this rich, well textured, emotive poem. It seems you wrote it from personal experience and it looks great.. I like title “As The Green Turns To Gold”. It fits this poem.
IMAGERY:I like the beautiful image of a widowed couple have sketched here. Throughout this poem the poet questioning of whether or not she marry him. Your poem telling a story. The descriptions are vivid and artistic.
FAVORITE LINES:
We're no-longer in springtime but mature in our years,
See our loved ones around us as our big moment nears. Your rhyming is pleasing.
RHYTHM: It has good rhythm. It flowed beautifully.
First I want to welcome you in WDC. This review reflects my opinion only, and I am not a writing expert.
I like the simplicity of this poem. I appreciate the craftsmanship of your writing and the way you painted nature. It reminds me beautiful days of winter. I like the title as well. It fit's your poem.
My favorite lines "Where is the glow of summer
that warmed my weary soul
I have looked in corners
and under beds, in cupboards"
I like this poem. The poem is about Milky Way. It consists of two stanza. Each stanza has (a.a.a.a.) rhyming scheme. I like the end stanza. Even though this is short, it's very beautiful and are full of images for me!
First I want to welcome you in WDC. This review reflects my opinion only, and I am not a writing expert. I do hope you find something that is interesting or helpful to you.
FIRST IMPRESSION: This is a good poem written from the view of a seashell. I appreciate the narrators thought process.
THE POEM: I found this poem is so rhythmic and melodious. The rhyming is soothing to the ear.
FAVORITE LINES:
"Pick me up and hold me close.
Closer and closer, to your ear.
Listen, listen. To the song within.
My tune reverberates, unclear."
SUGGESTION: I didn't find any mistake.
FINAL THOUGHT: I can’t wait to read another poem from you. I enjoyed it reading.
Beautifully written and lovely storytelling . I like this spooky story. I enjoyed the suspense throughout the story. I especially like the character "Bryan".
I like this beautifully structured poem. It has wonderful thoughts inside every line. You have good rhyming. The tone is soothing and pleasing to the ear.
Beautifully written and lovely storytelling. I like this spooky story. I enjoyed the suspense throughout the story. Your prompt was probably to make some kind of horror story contest, and you were probably write with the prompt "Halloween in a Suburb" and I think you managed them well.
I especially I like the character Nora and the ending.
This is a good story overall. Well done!
This is good piece of work to test one’s knowledge about writing.
It was well built. The questions are useful for story and fiction writing. The questions are clear and simple that I could understand them all. I answered them most.
This review reflects my opinion only, and I am not a writing expert.
Your poem "A Terrible Tribute to Edgar Allan Poe" is very melodious, melancholic s and soothing to the ear.
I like this poem very much. It is a great tribute for the poet Edgar Allan Poe. It has great narratives. Your poem reminds me a poem "The Raven" by Edgar Allan Poe.
Edgar Allan Poe is one of my favorite poet.
The descriptions are well written and very vivid and artistic.
“Yes, I know this isn’t refined within, because in my head, there is a din; A ton of words that rhyme too thin”
I like the inner rhyming and how the word flows. I like the images you have painted here.
Thanks for sharing it with us. It's pleasure to read your poems.
This review reflects my opinion only, and I am not a writing expert.
I like this spooky poem written with the words “Witch, Zombie, ghost, moon, Elvis, pumpkin, apples, frightened”. You beautifully used all those words in your poem. I like the Zelda the Witch and Zombie Elvis’s story as well.
You have good imagination. I like the first stanza. A night where all the creatures of the universe came out/It was a night for human and nonhuman to celebrate.
Thanks for sharing it with us. It's pleasure to know someone like you.
First I want to welcome you in WDC. This review reflects my opinion only, and I am not a writing expert. I do hope you find something that is interesting or helpful to you.
FIRST IMPRESSION: This is a good story. Wonderfully told with third person. I especially liked the way you tell your story.
THE STORY: The story is about a man whose car stopped in the middle of the road. Then he entered a motel and found motel office looks strangely vacant. The man entered a house and encountered with a mysteries dangerous women in a white wedding dress.
I liked the way you told the story with very clear descriptions and presentation. I love the smallest details as well.
CHARACTERS: All the characters are well developed.
SUGGESTION: You used written sound, for example Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Bang. Bang. Bang. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. to create the mood of the story. I think you should try to describe the sound. That will make your story more interesting. I found some wrote these sound using exclamatory marks like Bang! Bang! Bang!
FINAL THOUGHT:You are a good storyteller. I appreciate the way you are telling this story.
I enjoyed it reading. Glad to meet an awesome writer like you. Keep writing!!
Good poem about a pineapple. I like the way you crafted it. Pineapple is one of my favorite fruit. I enjoy its scent, color and of course taste. I like the words of your poem and the ending. It packed with message. Which you told beautifully
"Who grow this cherished exotic fruit;
Humanity’s ultimate conquest"
Thank you for sharing!
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