Ok, this is relatively good for its genre. I would, however, suggest that dark story night be changed for time of day given the characters age range. Also, you mention the time as being afternoon later in the story. I would also have the rain as stopping before Charlie Brown joins Snoopy outside at the doghouse. Just a couple of suggestions. I do like the theme, though. that part is captured quite well,
And this is why I see a therapist! lol. people can talk to me, but I don't hold the same confidence in myself as they do. Keep writing. This was quite well written in my opinion.
This was a wonderful read for a children's story. I found myself drawn to the idea of imagination and remembering my own imaginary friends as I grew up. Thank you for sharing this.
The message of your peice speaks volumes. Normal is not all it's cracked up to be. I know as I am about as abnormal as one can get. It is not always popular, but it is real. That said, here's how I think you can make this peice pop even more. Break it up a bit with paragraphs, and join some of the runons with punctuation. Embrace the clauses...this will make it more eye appealing and easier to read. The work is definitely well thought out, just a bit to make it aesthetic as well. Thank you for sharing. I've enjoyed reading what your thoughts are. Keep being you.
I think that the journey one travels through life goes through several stages and each one of those stages affects the next. The end is just a cumulative collection of those stages to produce what it is we have become. Thank you for your effort. I have enjoyed my time in your port.
While you have focused on the written word, I think this poem could also be relatable to those of us who are editing our paths along the journey that is our lives. I find that I am my own worst critic and that someone else's editing may be the kinder of the two realities. Thank you for your efforts. I have enjoyed the read.
Isn't it funny how greed can cost us so much no matter what it is we indulge too much in? There is something to be said for moderation, but human nature is not to enjoy in small amounts but rather to drink heavily of pleasure only to feel the repercussions of our actions acutely in the ray of its consequence.
I believe love changes and morphs over time. I have been married 33 years and the way we have reacted to each other in each decade has been different. I think it is because love matures. We long for the past, embrace the present, and plan for the future. Our love is there, just in different forms. Thank you for your offering, I enjoyed reading it.
This made me laugh and I needed that today. Sometimes we take ourselves too seriously and this poem reminded me to slow down and enjoy the small things, the excitement in the mundane. Thank you.
I enjoyed your poem and found it to be quite entertaining. The references to the headless horseman made this poem stand out. Thank you for your efforts.
I homeschooled my daughter who is now an artist. When I was doing it, schools wouldn't help the homeschoolers in my state, so I had to write all of her curriculum as well as teach her. I think homeschooling allowed her to fully comprehend subjects before moving on, the freedom to study when she was able to concentrate, and the advantages of real world application of skills learned as even the grocery store became a classroom.
I'm glad to hear your son is doing well in his career despite having gone to school outside of homeschooling. I do think you are correct, homeschooling is the future of education.
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