I especially liked verse 1 but all of it was really good. I love the title and the whole message of support and encouragement for someone growing up and trying to stand on their own two feet. Who was this written for?
Assalamau alaikum
This is beautifully written and i loved the message. If only we could forget the hurt from the past - we would have peace in our lives and peace in the world. I love the use of colour in this piece and the fact that you narrate two very interesting, yet very different stories. I also like the summing up, always essential in a good essay. I would just suggest that you adjust the line structure so that the lines are neat.
wow! I loved this piece. You have expressed yourself very well and I can see you have talent. This is a really good piece. I like the fact that it has no typos and you have mastered the writingML tags eventhough you are a newbie. I think a lot of people can relate to this piece. You discuss so many issues about social isolation, social phobia, our need to be accepted and loved. A great read!
This was really well written - I love the winter scene. You described it very well. I however, was puzzled by the way the story was told. At times I wanted to laugh and then I thought perhaps we were meant to be concerned for this kind of 'bullying' - So as the reader I was left confused as to how we were suppose to take this piece - it is about a snow fight but then you seem to relate it to war and bullying. If nothing else it made me think.
This is a really good read. I just wish it was a bit more powerful. The message is sucn an important one but I think it needs to hit more a bit harder - but maybe that is saying more about the reader than the writer. Not too sure about that. But yes you are right we all have choices. Believing that is a lot harder.
A very gripping piece - I wish it was longer so we knew the full story. but i love this. i feel for this mother so much. physical pain and be agonising - especially to watch like the reader does - helpless to do anything. this is a great read and i just hope it is not written from personal experience.
Kings this a great piece. I love the line 'I lived yesterday but only exist today' - this is a very good piece and says a lot about all that you have been through. you have als identified well what many of us face. trials and trying to come through them, alos with out regreting or looking back. life is a learning process.
A very moving piece and i am very sorry about the reaction you have received from others. i am sure some have been genuinely concerned - but others i can not believe how rude they have been. i am fortunate to have that same ability to eat and not put on weight. obviously others do hate that and will comment about how much i eat. however, my weight does not concern me too much because i am just a little too skinny. i am sorry that u have to faced the two problems - ur own weight and their reactions. i am sure life would be alot easier without the comments.
this was very well written. u said that this has not had many reviews, well the way to get more is to plug the work like you have, and if you are reading other people's work they are more likely to read yours.
a very good write! i enjoyed this a lot. i like the development of the characters and although i could guess the ending i liked it nevertheless. we all need hope however, is this poetry? it seemed more like a story and i thought the layout needed a bit of work
oh i love and dread autumn and u took me back there - a very good piece. i would have liked to have seen some reference to light in this piece. i find all the house lights go on earlier and yet it is still a bit warm outside as the sun goes down, but we all know that won't last lol.
you have focused on such great details. i am just soaking the words in - i really liked it.
all the best
Dreams
please check out "Invalid Item"
A very moving piece and a very sad situation. It only highlights too well the devasting effect that alcohol has. it leads to violence and all kinds of awful behaviour. As A Muslim I don't touch the stuff.
This is an awesome collection and I am really glad I have come across it because I am adding items to my newly created "Invalid Item" which is a great place for all to coming and visit during the long summer days and all. So I will be adding this to the collection. It is so nice to see the variety of written pieces on this site and it is encouraging to see so many rewarded for their hardwork. I liked the commentary you added here.
Beautiful. I can't say what i loved about it sooo much. but just as i read it in the silence of the night i hear it being read to me. it is soothing and simple. very powerful. great write!
all the best
Dreams
if you like to read about real life or you write about it then this is the place for you
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #701494 by Not Available.
As I have told the SMs this is a great idea. I love the look of the badges and the staff have really excelled in their creativity.
I got my first badge today However, I would like to see the badges more visibly in my port. For the money that is paid out I feel it is a shame that the badges are hidden on a seperate badge. I don't think I will be going to other people's ports to see their badges. However, I would love people to see mine and see the reason I got it.
My point is that I think the badges need to be made more visible, like the awardicons. can space not be made underneath the bio block to show say the most recent 5 badges. a person could then click on the tiny symbol to see the badge more clearly and read the reason why the author got it. what do you think? please let me know if you think this may be possible in the future.
This is a really detailed article. the questions are clearly highlighted and the answers are precise. you have also covered your back by warning the members that the price of the badge may change. i like the fact that we can also send requests for new badges.
A really uplifting and generous tribute to teachers. most students don't feel so appreciative towards their teachers. i was fortunate enough to have some really good teachers in my days at high school. however, they as you say taught me more about life lessons than algebra and what not. they were great ppl who i miss every day. teachers do more than teach. some of them saved my life.
brilliant i loved the ending! the middle needs a little bit of work. but this is good work. i found myself nodding and agreeing with someone of the fears. i think many can identify with this piece. but the ending - that is too good!
welcome to this great site. i hope u have fun here
this is such a touching piece - she reminds me of my own mother who is still alive and her mother who is not. a really touching, honest, well written piece. she sounds like a lovely lady and you were very blessed to have her in your life, and she was lucky to have you all too.
This is such a sad piece and as i am growing up in this world i am realising more about the kids who have fallen through the system. we forget to easily that a man may stand infront of you now but all these hardship was placed on a boys shoulder and it was he who had to try and cope with as best as he could.
it is the same for the homless lady on the street that i have written about (see tea for one). i try not think about anything bad she may have done in her life. after all everyone judges her on that but no one stops to think why she has ended up there and who abandoned her on the way.
this was a well written piece and a reminder to us all to try to do more. May God open up our hearts and our lives to help others.
this is a really good read. i liked it so much because unlike some stories you have taken the time to explain everything. u have built up all the characters and added realistic scences - like this line 'As you would expect, in this situation something would have to break the ice, and that did it.' - everything u write makes a lot of sense and adds to the story in some way. a really well thought out piece - good work!
throwing a fit - i would say having a tantrum
I have to beautiful sisters - two
may for give the
As for Hanna she is day to day??
Thanks for taking the time and effort to enter "Invalid Item" . A very good introduction reinforcing the objective of the contest.
You say ‘He has no relatives’ – I like the way the Quran refers to it as he was not born and will not have children.
I liked your layout – numbering etc. however, I felt that there was too much repetition. What could have been explained in one paragraph was explained and expanded in several.
I really like the way you have explained the whole jihad issue – you have done a brilliant job with that and I hope many people read your explanation.
You say ‘ To be a Muslim, you should believe that:…and in the list mention the twelve imams. You later mention that this is a shia belief. I admit that I know very little about this except that it is a shia belief and so feel that it does not belong in this list along with the belief of other sects that are not the mainstream. I say this because it leads to confusion and division and would be better discussed in a separate piece. If it is included then other beliefs that are seen as fundamental by other sects should also be included in my opinion. At the very least at the beginning in the list the point that it is a shia belief should be made.
I liked the fact that you stressed that knowledge is important and that it needs to be used properly. What I did not agree with was your reference to the covering of women. You vaguely say that ‘ Islam teaches a woman to cover herself adequately’ and criticise those that are covered head to toe. One you fail to mention that many choose to cover ‘from head to toe’ also I would have liked to have seen here more detail about exactly what men and women are required to do in terms of modesty and dress. It is the misconception about women being shrouded by the veil that I feel you have failed to deal with.
I liked the detail put in to this essay – well researched – good job!
Thanks for taking the time and effort to enter "Invalid Item" . I feel that any review I give you will not be good enough because I cannot easily be objective when you have written such a touching piece that includes me.
I like the introduction because you referred to your history – where you are coming from when writing this i.e. that you are an American Christian.
I am touched that you feel I have taught you about Islam.
You highlight an important point here – that a lot of people think that bin laden and saddam are good representatives of Islam. It is my endeavour and others to correct this misconception.
This piece I feel is written for all the Muslims to be better representatives of Islam. Kings, you have given me given me a huge compliment to say that I have shown you and represented Islam to you. I am trying my best and I hope all us Muslims continue to do this important work. You mention that you did not know anything about Islam a year ago – and this is another important point you have made. Islam is the fastest and one of the largest religions in the world and it is imperative that everyone knows more of the truth and less of the lies about it. I applaud your attempts to try and learn more.
I feel the major shortcoming of this piece and hence the low rating is the lack of detail about what have you learnt. Any reader wants to know why you have changed your views. They want you tell them in detail or as much as you have learnt. What about Islam do you value? What makes you respect it so much? Answering these questions in more detail would make this a better piece.
You say here ‘She is also a great teacher of the Quran to others, like myself.’ Of course I know what we have discussed in the past but the reader does not know what you have learnt and this would be a good time to mention it.
Kings, whether you decide to expand this piece pr not it will always be my favourite because of the huge compliment that you have paid me. May God guide us both.
Thanks for taking the time and effort to enter "Invalid Item" The beginning is technical but a good start. You mentioned hadith and an explanation I feel is essential here of what they are.
I liked the discussion of heaven and hell and the more important issue of punishment and accountability. It is something that people shy away from talking about. I would have liked to have seen more mention of this because it is so fundamental to our belief system. But you have a good job here
froeign dialect? Typo
I think the details about family life would interest most readers – a combination of religion and culture.
To make it more readable remember to always explain terms such as namaz.
I found your discussion about islam explaining every aspect of life very interesting. However, I could hear other readers out cry at all the shoulds and should nots lol – I felt that your explaination at the end of the paragragh needed to register more with the reader – perhaps highlight it in bold.
The ending to this piece was touching and was very much needed to bring this piece to a close – good job.
I liked the use of colour it meant that the reader followed the change of topic, however, I would avoid the use of grey.
Thanks for taking the time and effort to enter "Invalid Item" I liked the introduction to this piece – u have highlighted the misconceptions and this makes the reader wait in anticipation as to how you are going to explain them. I enjoyed reading this article a lot and the points here are meant as suggestions to improve an already very good piece. I can see you have put a lot of effort in to this and that is always nice to see.
I thought this was awkwardly phrased ‘In a dramatic religious vision, the Angel Gabriel appeared to Muhammad that was to be a prophet of Allah (God).’
‘and he was also influenced by Judaism’ – you have mentioned the roots of Islam, a very important point. However, I think it could be explained better. Unfortunately I do not think I can do a great job myself in explaining. But you have clearly said that Muslims believe that Jesus(peace be upon him) and Abraham (peace be upon him) were both Prophets and thus it becomes clear that Muhammad (peace be upon him) was more than influenced by these religions – the original teachings in these religions are a part of Islam.
located somewhere in Saudi Arabia – it would have been good to say the exact location or not mentioned it at all.
You have explained the fundamentals of Islam very well – good job! I liked the mention of the spread of Islam. A little more detail here would be nice – you mention Asia, which people might already know about. But do people know that Islam spread as far as Spain?
I liked the mention about the Islamic values – it is true that men are allowed four wives and you touched on this issue in a sensitive manner considering it is shrouded with misconceptions. However, given the complexity of the issue I would not have brought it up unless I was going to discuss it in more detail, as the topic often raises a lot of questions. Saying that you handled the subject matter well.
Parents teach their children about goodness - Could be expanded sounds too vague.
The discussion about 9/11 was interesting as being a brit I did not know all of it. It is very sad if as you say Muslims are being unfairly targeted.
Dreams
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Really beautiful.
