I love visiting your port you always have a new form of poetry to teach me, this is another, the Lilibonnelle.
You have executed this form in all your wonderfulness. I just love this night time poem. the imagery, the sounds, I can almost taste and smell the darkening hours.
You have triumphed again. Truly magical poem.
Reviewathon reviewer *delgiht*
This one really made me giggle. Wonderful zany names you have for your furbabies.
I love the shape this septet makes, almost like a bauble, it has given me an idea for a christmassy (is there such a word?) version which I will try out as I have tried this form of poetry.
You seem to have not only tried but mastered this form, this is a lovely piece and a true credit to you.
Write on
Reviewathon Reviewer
I loved this poem. I felt my toe tapping to the gently unforced rhythm, and almost read it like a song, in fact I imagine this would work great to the dulcet sounds of an old church organ (although I must admit most of the congregation in my church are quite old and their voices wouldnt do this beautiful poem justice at all hehe).
My favourite line is the last two -
"I'm truly blessed by you my Lord,
for being both my shield and sword" - strong passionate and full of awe and respect and love for Our Lord.
Fantastic writing!
Reviewathon reviewer *delgiht*
This reminded me of the time I was in university and missed home terribly. This is a great poem.
I love your use of the senses here, everything is vivid here, I can really feel your longing as you remember the small details of back home, the smells, the colours, the sounds. Great stuff!
Very nostalgic poem, made me think of my home very much (even if I only live a few miles from my family hehe)
So many poets have written about the subject of the paths we choose, here you have managed to keep this personal to yourself as well as inviting others to read you.
I love poetry that is written maily for the person writing them, it is a shame that many poets fail to keep that their sense of self in their poetry especially when writing on such topics as this. You however have grasped that and have written from the heart.
Only one thing I would like to point out here and that is really a matter of opinion -
"to be the best person, I can possibly be" - does the commar need to be here between 'person' and 'I'? I feel it reads better without.
Some of my favourite poetry are those that celebrate nature in all its beauty, in this Acrostic form you have elevated that beauty in nature and made it your own. Some wonderful images here.
My favourite line here -
"Tasting the love that only nature brings" - this is wonderful, all my senses immediately tuned into this poem and I too could almost taste the sweet fragrance that only comes after a rain. Beautifully done!
Reviewathon reviewer.
Some of your line lengths here make your rhyme scheme feel a little disjointed.
"quieting the turbulence in my mind,
soothing my distress." - the length of the 3rd line here knocks the rhyme scheme out a little. What about queiting in the turbulent mind instead?
"The fire of hope may flicker,
but the flame will never die,
blanketing the menaces with feathers,
carrying them on toward the sky" - the 3rd and 4th lines here again feel out of balance. What about - blanketing menaces with feathers, carrying them toward the sky.
I love it when poetry have that hopeful tune to them and here you have managed to add in a beautiful ray of that hope. Great read!
reviewathon reviewer
Your imagery here is superp. You bring this poem to life in all its technicolour splendour.
I have one issue with this poem, first off the length of the lines. I almost ran out of breath reading them as they are not punctuated in any way, I felt I had to re-read several times and put my own breaks and pauses in so that I could get the whole feel of the poem, this made reading a little cumbersome and I feel I have in some way lost some of the vitality of the poem and maybe a little of the meaning. I would have preferred if you had punctuated the poem yourself so that I can feel where you want the reader to pause and take a breath.
Based on the imagery alone, I felt this was a chilling piece, it certainly made me shudder more than once, eery and unnerving.
My favourite line -
"Held far below the crimson stain coating the line of unending sky" - wow!
I love photography and hope that I can one day take as brilliant a photo as some of these.
My favourite cNote in this collection is the I was thinking of you today note, this one creates and air of mystery and intrigue. It is simply beautiful.
This collection has inspired me to go out and take more photos myself. There is so much beauty around us in nature but sometimes we miss out on it because we are too busy with our lives to sit back and notice. This collection reminds us what is there right in front of our noses for us to enjoy and be a part of.
This reads like a thought process in action, as if I were actually seeing this for myself on a screen and you connected to the set with wires pushed into your head, your thoughts streaming live and multicolour.
Very vivid poem, almost slow, rhythmic flow.
I loved your imagery here, the contrast of the roses and thorns the imagae of the clown, spine chilling and comforting at the same time.
My favourite line here -
"To once again flirt
With future pain" - almost provoactive.
Great job!
reviewathon reviewer
Again your ability to bring out your emotions right to the surface in your work is so evident here.
You paint this scene so vividly it was almost like watching a film. So very sad. I really felt this one. It left me feeling so very glad that I have never gone through this, and yet feeling it as though I did.
I love the positive note of this poem, I felt really optimistic reading this and in fact wanted to take some of what you felt here away with me so that I too could find that strength.
Have a look at the punctuation here, adding those natural breaks and pauses will really enhance the piece as a whole here.
This is a very deep and emotional poem, I feel your emotion here.
The image of the rain washing away the pain is very strong here and I felt it reminded me a little of baptism, being renewed, how you long for your loved ones to be washed away of their "sins" if you like.
Great entry to the
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This poem illustrates the amzing power of a mothers love.
This is powerful, the imagery is vivid and terrorfying. The rhythm fast chaotic, I could feel myself trying to catch my breath as I read on, this gave me a feelign that I was sympathising witht he woman in the poem, carried away by the wave trying to save her sons.
Fantastic poem!
Now this is a challenge.
This is a fresh idea, I just love it when a contest really grabs my attention and this one certainly has.
The unusual title first grabbed me but when I entered and took a look, it looks fantastic.
The layout is colourful vibrant and inviting and the little animations make it even more appealing. It is nice when someone goes to the effort of making a contest look exciting for entrants.
No wonder you have people (including me) queing round the block to join in the fun!
I just loved this. A wonderful ode to your grandmother. Made me think of mine and how I should visit her more.
The imagery here is just spectacular, each one conjuring the essence of love and adoration for a loed one.
It is sad to lose a grandparent/parent/family member/loved one, but isn't it wonderful to remember them!
Thank you thank you thank you!
This was invaluable to me I had no idea what I was doing as I tried to create my Guest Book using an In & Out not untill I read this.
These clear instructions got me through and I now have a fantastic new Guest Book shining and gleaming in my port.
Very sad poem. I felt the cold sting me as I read this, your use of imagery here really creates the atmosphere bringing this all too painful event all too real before me.
It is always a devastating blow when a relationship ends but when that relationship has a child involved it is all the more crushing. I really feel for you.
THis really captures that painful moment.
I love the use of the words here from the contest. You have used them wisely, they really fit here and work fantastically.
The description of coming round from a dream is very expressive here, so cleverly pieced together. The simple almost staggering rhythm here of your rhyme plays beautifully to the topic.
Love it!
Chilling to the bone.
Bieng married only 3 weeks myself I sit here with a stream of tears flowing over my cheeks at the very prospect of losing Lee.
How life can be extinguished in such a manner, how loss of life can be played as a bargaining tool in another man's war. How angry I feel at this very moment as this poem sinks ever lower into my contiousness stored there in my memory box, lingering.
Sad. So very sad and pointless.
Again you blast me with the vividness of your poetry!
It is sometimes these wonderful moments in nature that suprise us the most that linger in our memories like hidden treasure.
I had an experience just a few days ago whilst driving to pick my husband from work. He works till 10pm so it was around 9.30pm as I was driving along the motorway when I happened to look in my side mirror for a second and there is was this burning orange globe hung low in the sky. I was that affected by the sheer beauty of the moment that I had to stop the car on the hard shoulder get out of the car and stare awe struck until the sun sunk her graceful head below the tree line and out of sight.
This poem reminds me of that rare moment, when everything has to stop to reflect upon the true beauty of nature.
You captured this moment perfectly!
Very sad piece. Sad that so many people suffer from this awful disease, many overlooked (especially in children, it tends to be flitted away as just naughty behaviour).
It would be very interesting to know how this little girl turned out? Did she get the help she needed? Did she stay with you?
Bold poem with so much emotion, almost despair as you try to give this little girl the love and care she obviously needs but is too paranoid to receive.
Poor little mite!
It is strange to to finding someone who feels they can hide within their poetry. This for me is where I feel the most open and vunerable. Poetry for me is my catharsis, an open umbarella of emotions laid bare for all to see, whereas it is within my short stories that I feel I can hide away unnoticed.
Prose again like poetry is another genre in which I feel very exposed, and so I can share that sympathy whith you. But I also feel that the best writing always comes from those pieces that we write when we tear open our wounds and let them be stitched again by our reviewers.
I find it great here that you have opened yourself and let us gain a slither of a view into who you are!
What a suprise ending! I really did not see that coming.
I read this and was contented seeing the love between the two, gripped by the image of George and May and instead seeing my husband and I when we reach our twilight years.
And then the last two verses hits me! THe unexpected ending to this love tale. george and May are dead!
At first I was a little dumbstruck at the prospect when throughout the poem I had imagined them sitting like I see so many other old couples, my gran and grandad included, byt he sea or by the river (as here) when we take them out for the day or when we all go on holiday together as a family. I have always taken the image of them sitting quietly, one brushing a crumb from the others lap, while the other pours a cup of tea from a thermos, barely a word said, and yet the silence so comfortable betweeen them. So when I see that they had died here, it was actually a bit of a shock.
Yet looking now after re-reading I find a sudden comfort in their death. As in life they are together, sitting on a bench and still so much in love.
What a great poem!
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