This is great, I suffer from migraines too, and you have described down to a t the feelings and pain.
Style
The rhyme scheme here really helps illuminate the pain and show the devil for what he really is. Migraine is horrid, the only other pain worse is earache. You really got me to remember the pain I feel during my migraine attacks.
Spellign and grammar
I noticed no errors here
Overall
I really sympathise, I know just what it is like to suffer from migraine and it is very painful indeed.
Style
I love the hip hop beat that jigs along through this poem, it has a real beat just like todays society has a heart beat. It screams let me be heared.
Spelling and grammar
Just one or two things I noted:
"Worn of colours, away" = off
"Is in the in the minority." - repeated in the.
Overall
You have an important message and a great platform in which to shout it. And this poem is shouting, Great stuff
A lovely tribute to your daughter on her birthday. Style
For me there is a little over repetition of the word wish here, perhaps there is another words that sums up the same meaning for you just to give this poem a smoother edge?.
Again as I always find with your work, your passion for your family and loved ones shines through
Spealling and grammar
I founf no grammatical or spelling issues here
Overall
I dont feel this is your best poem I have read but has got a lot of your traights, the caring loving way you write.
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Style
This scene feels so natural, your onversational skills here are great!
Spelling and grammar
"I wortethis story for a class assignment, i never got a grade so i want to know what u think. please rate but udont have to. =)" - wrote - Capital I as in myself - you don't -
Overall
Nicely written, wholly beleivable and that is often the trickiest part, getting your audience to beleive your story.
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Style
In such a short space you say so much, you develop your character and make him appear before your reader,this is writing in technicolour
Spelling and grammar
I found no grammatical or spelling errors here Nice work.
Overall
I have one gripe. There was nowhere near enough, I would love to read much more of this story as I am sure there is or should, must be more. Gripped me till the end and still left me wanting.
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Strange choice of words here when talking of love, but it works
Style
This is such an odd mixture of words that I have to like it, I had to read it through twice to get a real good intake of it. Normally "vomit" doesnt spring to mind when I think about love, but here it is turned on its head and becomes very effective.
Spelling and grammar
I fouind no grammatical or spelling errors
Overall
This works really well
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This is a very good source of information, some really handy hints here.
Style
I really enjoyed this easy to use guide. There is a lot of information here to digest but with easy to use step by step instructions everyone will be writing about unique characters, all with characterm specific personalityy traits, jobs families etc, in other words all the things we can sometimes leave out because we are trying to write what is in our head before we think about how our characters need to react.
Spelling and grammar
I found no spelling or grammar errors here
Overall
Comprehensive and easy to use, it is definatly now resting amoungst my favourites to come back to time and time again.
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This one had me howling with laughter. Not for the younger readers mind
Style
These rhyming verses had me in stitches, I could really visualise santa there on the lawn.
I love the way you draw the reader right into the poem with your vivid images.
I am not so sure about the use of characters though.
Spelling and grammar
I found no grammar or spelling issues here.
Overall
I giggled all the way through. Thanks so much for the enjoyable read
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This is a very powerful poem full of darkness and emotion.
Style
The rhymic flow of this poem only acts to enhance the sorrow of this poem, the tragedy behind it and illuminates pityfully on the wound accross that wrist.
There is just one verse that doesnt quite fit the rhyme:
"I can still smell her perfume,
Picture sunlight on her hair.
Even while memories loom
And I drown in bloody tears."
Spelling and grammar
I found no errors great job
Overall
Fantastic poem, the emotion shines through, even through the dark and sorrowful tone.
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A multicoloured "storm" of a piece. Acts as an invaluable guide to this mad port
Style
I had to giggle, the whole piece is a whirlwind in itself.
It is great how you have sorted your pieces of work and made this most excellent guide. Something perhaps all writers should do here. It has certainly helped me find my way.
Spelling and grammar
"short annd relevant" - and
"with fierce intensity." - should the gap be here? There are a few of these gaps around this piece.
Overall
Fantastic idea, also gives a little mad intro into what to expect to all those who venture in your port. Great Job
Style
I had my toe tapping along tot he natural rhythm of the poem. Beautifully written. Feels like it could be one of the church hymns I loved when I was younger.
Certainly gave me that same high.
Spelling and grammar
I found no errors here
Overall
A great song/poem giving praise. The soft rhyme really works well here.
What a fantastic idea. As soon as the Endu Review is over I would love to come back and try this out, it sure sounds like a lot of fun
Style
I love the easy to understand step by step approach, makes a good laymans guide to anyone wishing to develop their creativeness within the community. Great job
Spelling and grammar
I found no grammatical or spelling errors here. Nice one
Overall
This is a fantastic idea, one that I certainly hope to try out for myself.
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That father seems a brute. How cruel he is to the little girl in this story.
Style
was deeply saddened adn distrubed by how brutal and harsh the father here seems.
Great imagery here, I love the way the scenery rushed past the car indicating the speed of their travel.
Spelling and grammar
I found no grammatical or spelling errors here.
Overall
Saddening, how a man can act so brutal to one so young is beyond me. There is obviously a lot to do here, and I am sure that there is a lot more to come.
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Style
Although I am not a great fan of repetition throughout poetry (although I do have one or two pieces that have repeating lines throughout for effect) and I did find it a little cumbersome and awkward in places, I was drawn to this poem for its simplicity and light uplifting mood it creates.
Spelling and grammar
I found no grammatical or spelling errors. Nice one
Overall
I really like the mood this poem creates, the softness and comforting tone flows nicely.
Again I am not too comfortable with the repetiton throuhgout but understand that it firstly was intended as lyrics.
Style
I felt the pace of the poem dragging me ever onwards through the poem, I felt like I too was being pulled through the nightmare. Creepy, but so very effective. Nice work
Spelling and grammar
I found no errors here great job
Overall
Great atmospheric poem, I love the little details here and there, some nice touches
"He strikes his pose and flashes his grin"
Very sinister image. Cleverly written. Nice one
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This poem is so sad, but too often true in relationships.
Style
The rhyme scheme here indicates drudgery and dreariness, everyday the same, monotone, it feels to me that this about a relationship going or gone sour, or if not sour then at least lost its peak, its romance, its love.
Heart wrenching to read as it is so real in many cases.
Spelling and grammar
I noticed no errors here
Overall
Quite a sad toned piece of writing, really tugs as it is so down to earth.
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This is a very sad poem, you seem to have given up the fight to keep your love alive.
Style
It is always a hard subject to talk about, losing a love in some form or another, wether to death or another woman or to some other means. You have however captured that loss here very effectively.
I feel it in your mood and tone, the long drawn out lines reflecting your spirit.
Spelling and grammar
I found no grammatical or spelling errors here. Great job
Overall
A sad but effective poem. You have really created the emotion here, my heart goes to you.
Style
I love the imagery used here to depict the clear crispness, the frosty feel. Very atmospheric, I felt I was there with the snow falling peacefully around.
Spelling and grammar
This poem doesn't have any punctuation in the first half, is there a reason for this?
Overall
I love the winter image you have painted here, reminds me that Christmas is oh so close now
A tribute to a loved one whos precious life was ripped away in such a horrid way.
Style
I am sure this poem was so hard to write, rememberign the pain of his passing. You have however done him proud this is a great tibute to him.
You have though lost a little of the magical control you have over your rhyme scheme towars the end, It doesnt quite fit there as naturally as perhaps it could.
"The grandest person.
The kindest first one."
Maybe you would consider revising?
Spelling and grammar
Have another look at your punctuation. If you read the poem aloud you will find where ther pauses and stops should be, as they dont quite sit as well as they should.
Overall
I am sure your friend would be very proud that he had a friend in you, your tribute to him is worhty of praise.
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Isnt it amazing what things we don't want to throw away. Little pieces of junk that to anyone else mean nothing but to us means a lifetime of laughs, joy, fears, cries, wonderment.....
Style
This friendly little ditty filled me with warm and tender memories of little treasures stashed neatly in an old box I have at my parents house. Great atmospheric piece and very apt for the season
Spelling and grammar
I found no errors great job
Overall
Nicely written, just a shame there is no more
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I really enjoyed this tale. Althougha sad and sombre tale of death and destruction of a race, it also carries a message of bravery till the last.
Style
Faultless narrative, the imagination run wild on this one, I envisaged those terrible huge creatures swervign through the toxic mist. I'm not usually a sci fi fan but this wowed my attention till the end.
Spelling and grammar
Faultless
Overall
A great read, I was captivated.
I have no suggestions to give, this piece is great
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An excellent piece of writing which commands praise from the very outset.
Style
The contradicitive tone of the poem which flows evenly throughout is wonderful, enhanced by the flawless rhyme scheme. You have really done your subject justice. I commend your observational slills and even more so commend your skill to narrate your findings through verse.
I really felt a link with this poem, it reminds me so much of my own life, you have captured that feeling of guilt perfectly here.
Style
Your rhyming couplets enhance the guilt feeling, almost doubles it then trebles it etc echoing through the years until the day of realisation. I loved the way your poem had a narrqative that told your story uncomplicatedly and to the point. Wonderful
Spelling and grammar
I found no grammatical or spelling mistakes great job
Overall
I really felt at one with this poem, it related to my own life. You have written this so emotionally without burdoning it with flowery detail. Excellent
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This is gripping stuff