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372 Public Reviews Given
380 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I mostly use a template that covers different areas of the writing. I look for punctuation, grammar, and other technical writing skills. I will be honest with you in a very respectful manner. I may offer to assist you with making edits. This option depends on the length of the item and whether I believe you need the assistance or not. Some edits may just need to be pointed out as typos or something you overlooked.
I'm good at...
Catching changes of tenses in writing. Often times writers tend to switch from present tense to past tense. I tend to catch grammatical and punctuation errors quite easily as well.
Favorite Genres
All
Least Favorite Genres
Extreme horror or gore
Favorite Item Types
I truly enjoy writing that is from the heart; the innermost emotion that oftentimes can be difficult to share with others. I enjoy knowing how the writer feels or is dealing with what they are writing about.
Least Favorite Item Types
I do not enjoy extreme gore and dislike excessive profanity.
I will not review...
Anything that uses The Lord's name in vain or containing excessive profanity.
Public Reviews
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1
1
Review of The Second Book  Open in new Window.
Review by Angel_Eyes Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
I read your article and am here to review you.

How the writing made me feel: I can relate to this on so many levels! I am sorry you are feeling the pressure of getting your next book put together. Writing should be enjoyable; Might I suggest being honest with the people who ask? A simple, it will come in the right time, will suffice.

Can I relate to the writing through a personal experience? Yes, even from my own father before he passed away. "You did such a great job with this, WHEN is the next?"

Did the plot interest me? Yes, personal self expression in regard to meeting high expectations.

Were the characters believable? Yes

Did the item flow naturally? I believe a little editing would help the flow. Simple spacing, bold font for section headers, etc.

What I liked most: Your honesty.

What I liked least: The formatting issues.

Did anything stand out? The fear you have allowed to back you against the wall. Don't let fear win!!

Is there anything I would change within the writing? Items mentioned above is all.

Was the writing memorable? Yes, I think anyone who has ever felt this way would find it memorable.

Please keep in mind these comments are strictly my opinion and should be taken as such. Please never change anything that you are not comfortable with changing!!




Thank you for sharing and Write-On!!






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#456789 by Creeper Of The Realm Author IconMail Icon




You can play,
You can lie,
But WE will find you,
and YOU will die!

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2
2
Review by Angel_Eyes Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
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#456789 by Creeper Of The Realm Author IconMail Icon



Overall Impression: I like the simple reminders of kindness and the fact that actions speak louder than words. I like to tell kids to squeeze all of the toothpaste out of a tube and once they have done it, I ask them to put it back. When they say they can't put it back I remind them that it is the same with words. Once they are out there, they cannot be taken back so keep them kind. You have made a bold statement in just a few words. Job well done.

Poetic Tool Box: Although this isn't exactly a poem, it is poetic and works well for me. What is a poem anyway?

Punctuation/Grammar/Spelling: I saw no errors and the message caught my attention a whole lot more than anything else.

Parting Comments: I greatly respect your intent to remind others to keep things kind and to act with kindness as well. I do hope to make it to your port to check out your writing style soon. So far, you have my attention.

Thank you for sharing with us!


You can play,
You can lie,
But WE will find you,
and YOU will die!

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3
3
Review by Angel_Eyes Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
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#456789 by Creeper Of The Realm Author IconMail Icon



Overall Impression: What a lovely poem that seems to be filled with emotion. It feels as if the ups and downs of the waves can be the ups and downs of emotion we experience. I like this a lot.

Poetic Tool Box: I like the form you have chosen. I am no poetry expert and do not know the forms and names, but I do like this and it works for me.

Punctuation/Grammar/Spelling: In your last stanza it seems to me that the comma after your is out of place. Personally, I would not put one at the end of the live being as it does not fit the wording.

Parting Comments: I like poetry that makes me think and ponder the deeper meaning and feel it with my mind. You have done this and I commend you for a job well done. I do, however, hope that you do not feel your dreams have been dashed as the tide. Your talent is too obvious for that to be the case. Hope to see and read much more of your work soon!!



You can play,
You can lie,
But WE will find you,
and YOU will die!

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4
4
Review by Angel_Eyes Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
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#456789 by Creeper Of The Realm Author IconMail Icon



Overall Impression: What an impressive way to keep up with your work for "Pandora" - I do like the title change. Although, I did not read through the chapters I am very impressed with how you are writing the character development and plot ideas as it comes to you and piecing it together. I am sure this format is working much better than a book item would for this way of doing things. I would be interested in coming back to read the completed book once you are finished. Right now I feel it may be a little too scattered for me to keep up with. The overviews and summaries that I have read are impressive.


Punctuation/Grammar/Spelling: I did not find any errors in what I have read. I would be interested in doing an in depth read and review once this item is complete.

Parting Comments: I am proud of you for working so intently on this. Please let me know when it is ready for a complete read through. Keep up the great work!


You can play,
You can lie,
But WE will find you,
and YOU will die!

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5
5
Review by Angel_Eyes Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
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#456789 by Creeper Of The Realm Author IconMail Icon


I just read your story and I am grinning from ear to ear. I am not sure if this is true or not, but what a wonderful way to allow your brother to feel connected to you (special) and show him a way to have fun while improving his writing skills. What a great big sis you were!

Overall Impression: I am ALWAYS impressed with your writing skills. Everything I have read has a hook and this item was no different. You drew me in and I was glad to read how your attitude and heart softened towards your little brother as you helped him explore the site.

Punctuation/Grammar/Spelling: I am not surprised to say I did not note any errors. I rarely see any in yours. Job well done!

Parting Comments: You are a very talented writer. You do so well in a variety of genres. I feel you will be a well known author some day. I am proud of you for continuing and for truly putting your heart into every item you write!


You can play,
You can lie,
But WE will find you,
and YOU will die!

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6
6
Review of Journey  Open in new Window.
Review by Angel_Eyes Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
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#456789 by Creeper Of The Realm Author IconMail Icon



Overall Impression: What a lovely poem of your Journey and the memories that you hold within. As I read your words and you said the word footprints I thought of the famous poem "Footprints" - I like the line about this journey having no end.

Poetic Tool Box: Free verse, very well written and enjoyable piece to read.

Punctuation/Grammar/Spelling: I did not take note of any specific errors, but wonder if some commas (although not necessary) may contribute nicely to how the reader reads the poem.

Parting Comments: Your words bring about a peace. It is nice to know that we can walk away and leave the past behind and savor what we choose in our memory bank, all the while knowing the journey does not end until we take our last breath. Even still, if we have children and grandchildren those footprints will long out live us.

Thank you for such a simple yet powerful reminder.


You can play,
You can lie,
But WE will find you,
and YOU will die!

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7
7
Review by Angel_Eyes Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (2.0)
Hi, I just stumbled across your list of perfect knowledge links and I am a little confused as to the purpose.

How the writing made me feel: I saw or read no reason for this list or the reason it is here. I scrolled through and saw the wide variety of links, but never found any information to tell me why I should go to the links or what the author has intended for us to gain from looking at them.

Can I relate to the writing through a personal experience? Reminds me of something I might would have done in college, but otherwise, no.

Did the plot interest me? There is no content in this item to interest a random person.

Were the characters believable? N/A

Did the item flow naturally? N/A

What I liked most: I like that you would take the time to gather links for easy access.

What I liked least: I do not like that you did not share what I could find at these various websites. I do not want to randomly click and research to see what you are trying to show me.

Did anything stand out? Time used to do this.

Is there anything I would change within the writing? I would add an explanation for this item and the links included here.

Was the writing memorable? There is nothing here to be remembered, it is a list of website links. Please consider telling us why you created this and what information we would find by using your item to research.

Please keep in mind these comments are strictly my opinion and should be taken as such. Please never change anything that you are not comfortable with changing!!




Thank you for sharing and Write-On!!


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#456789 by Creeper Of The Realm Author IconMail Icon




You can play,
You can lie,
But WE will find you,
and YOU will die!

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8
8
Review by Angel_Eyes Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
I just read your poem "The Pumpernickel and the Pickle" and I must admit, I had to read it multiple times to really get this. It goes in multiple directions but it is very nice. The creativity is above par.

How the writing made me feel: This is a poem that takes the reader on an adventure. Paints a picture from the deli, to the girl, to the Hummer.

Can I relate to the writing through a personal experience? Kinda. Not from a deli girl or a sandwich though. lol

Did the plot interest me? Yes, I read it several times because it had me intrigued.

Were the characters believable? Self expression is very believable.

Did the item flow naturally? Yes

What I liked most: How you paint a picture rather than tell a story.

What I liked least: I would not say that I do not like it, but I had to figure it out. Were you talking about the girl or the sandwich or both.

Did anything stand out? Expression of LOVE

Is there anything I would change within the writing? Not really, I like it.

Was the writing memorable? Yes, it gave me a smile and a chuckle.

Please keep in mind these comments are strictly my opinion and should be taken as such. Please never change anything that you are not comfortable with changing!!




Thank you for sharing and Write-On!!


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#456789 by Creeper Of The Realm Author IconMail Icon




You can play,
You can lie,
But WE will find you,
and YOU will die!

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9
9
Review by Angel_Eyes Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
I just read your poem "The Faintest Hint of Love" and it is absolutely beautiful.

How the writing made me feel: The romance and passion for your spouse just radiates from this poem. It is very well written and overflowing with love.

Can I relate to the writing through a personal experience? At one time I could. A love like this is such a God given blessing.

Did the plot interest me? Yes, romance at its finest.

Were the characters believable? Yes, self expression.

Did the item flow naturally? Yes. Perfectly.

What I liked most: The rhyme and meter are flawless. The message is beautiful.

What I liked least: N/A

Did anything stand out? A God centered marriage filled with blessings.

Is there anything I would change within the writing? -

Was the writing memorable? Yes, this is a poem I would revisit.

Please keep in mind these comments are strictly my opinion and should be taken as such. Please never change anything that you are not comfortable with changing!!




Thank you for sharing and Write-On!!


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#456789 by Creeper Of The Realm Author IconMail Icon



You can play,
You can lie,
But WE will find you,
and YOU will die!

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10
10
Review of The Clever Turtle  Open in new Window.
Review by Angel_Eyes Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
I just read your children's story The Clever Turtle. This is a cute way to teach how to work smarter not harder.

How the writing made me feel: I was reading through children's stories to get an idea of things for my grandchild who is on the way and came across yours. Although I like the story and feel it is well thought out and written I do not think I would want to read anything to a child that talks about an animal eating another animal. I feel if it was changed to some other thing the eagle would do it might have worked better for me. I would be concerned this would scare a small child of birds in the sky trying to eat not only the turtles but any other living thing.

Can I relate to the writing through a personal experience? This reminds me a bit of the tortoise and the hare. The story is there and is impressive possibly for older children. I can relate through other childhood stories I have learned lessons from and enjoyed.

Did the plot interest me? Yes, life lessons.

Were the characters believable? Yes, the think smarter not harder concept works here.

Did the item flow naturally? Yes

What I liked most: Your creativity and imagination. The turtles were smart.

What I liked least: Only what I mentioned above.

Did anything stand out? Teaching kids that there can be victory in challenging situations.

Is there anything I would change within the writing? Again, as mentioned above.

Was the writing memorable? Yes, just not age appropriate for the age group I was reading for. This does not mean it isn't for other kids, this is just personal preference.

Please keep in mind these comments are strictly my opinion and should be taken as such. Please never change anything that you are not comfortable with changing!!




Thank you for sharing and Write-On!!


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#456789 by Creeper Of The Realm Author IconMail Icon



You can play,
You can lie,
But WE will find you,
and YOU will die!

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11
11
Review by Angel_Eyes Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I have read your poem "Barefoot Twirls and Songs of Girls"

How the writing made me feel: This is an amazingly beautiful poem. I had to read it twice to take it all in. The picture you paint is vivid and comes to life with each new stanza and verse.

Can I relate to the writing through a personal experience? To the depths of my soul I can. This is beautiful.

Did the plot interest me? Yes. I especially like how you remind us throughout the poem that she is everything.

Did the item flow naturally? Your poem flows wonderfully. I had no hang-ups or snags.

What I liked most: The imagery. You have not only told us, you have shown us.

What I liked least: There wasn't anything I did not like about this poem.

Did anything stand out? The playful, joyful tone of the poem in its entirety. I also like the stanza with the hummingbird. It brings out even more playful, dancing images.

Is there anything I would change within the writing? No.

Was the writing memorable? Yes, this is a poem I want to show my daughter. I think she will appreciate it as much as I do. Thank you for sharing such a beautiful poem with us.

Please keep in mind these comments are strictly my opinion and should be taken as such. Please never change anything that you are not comfortable with changing!!




Thank you for sharing and Write-On!!


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#456789 by Creeper Of The Realm Author IconMail Icon



You can play,
You can lie,
But WE will find you,
and YOU will die!

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12
12
Review of The Second Book  Open in new Window.
Review by Angel_Eyes Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
I read your article and am here to review you.

How the writing made me feel: I can relate to this on so many levels! I am sorry you are feeling the pressure of getting your next book put together. Writing should be enjoyable; Might I suggest being honest with the people who ask? A simple, it will come in the right time, will suffice.

Can I relate to the writing through a personal experience? Yes, even from my own father before he passed away. "You did such a great job with this, WHEN is the next?"

Did the plot interest me? Yes, personal self expression in regard to meeting high expectations.

Were the characters believable? Yes

Did the item flow naturally? I believe a little editing would help the flow. Simple spacing, bold font for section headers, etc.

What I liked most: Your honesty.

What I liked least: The formatting issues.

Did anything stand out? The fear you have allowed to back you against the wall. Don't let fear win!!

Is there anything I would change within the writing? Items mentioned above is all.

Was the writing memorable? Yes, I think anyone who has ever felt this way would find it memorable.

Please keep in mind these comments are strictly my opinion and should be taken as such. Please never change anything that you are not comfortable with changing!!




Thank you for sharing and Write-On!!


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#456789 by Creeper Of The Realm Author IconMail Icon


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13
13
Review of Country Girls.  Open in new Window.
Review by Angel_Eyes Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
How the writing made me feel: This is a beautiful song. I did pull it up and listen to it and it works much better in song than it seems to on paper. I am actually playing it in the background as I type this and I love the sound and flow of it. I am that country girl so it speaks to the depths of my heart!!

Can I relate to the writing through a personal experience? Yes, I think every country girl can relate. There is nothing like us... From our "darlin's", "sweety" and our smiles.

Did the plot interest me? Yes, country girls are wonderful but so are the Cowboys we love!!

Were the characters believable? N/A Self expression is believable. Man wants to find a country girl to love.

Did the item flow naturally? Yes, beautifully.

What I liked most: The song attachment.

What I liked least: The entire song is not written out, leaving a lot to be desired until you listen.

Did anything stand out? Country verses city... love it.

Is there anything I would change within the writing? Write out the song in its entirety.

Was the writing memorable? It is. Catchy, smooth.. likable.

I am not sure if you are just sharing this or if it is you, but this is amazing. I love it, and I am glad you shared it with us. I hope if this is you, you will continue to post and share. I would like to encourage you to start a blog and explain the why's to the lyrics as well!!

Please keep in mind these comments are strictly my opinion and should be taken as such. Please never change anything that you are not comfortable with changing!!




Thank you for sharing and Write-On!!


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#456789 by Creeper Of The Realm Author IconMail Icon




You can play,
You can lie,
But WE will find you,
and YOU will die!

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14
14
Review of Head of Security  Open in new Window.
Review by Angel_Eyes Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.0)


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#456789 by Creeper Of The Realm Author IconMail Icon



Overall Impression: Your story is well written and filled with detail and conversation; however, there was no true hook or understanding for me. I am thinking this is a short story at this point that needs a little more expanding. Your writing skills are impressive.


Punctuation/Grammar/Spelling: I spotted what I felt to be a few mistakes, but judge for yourself.

1.sarcastic smile one his face. (on not one)

But since you in here I would say no to that.” (you're not you)

Surround it were one hundred small squared Detention Centers (Surrounding it was one hundred.."

Parting Comments: I enjoyed the attention to detail and the many different directions this story takes. I feel if you expand on it and give us a broader idea of what is going on or have a completed story it may work a little better. I would also consider a little more character development into the plot. Paint us a clear picture rather than stiff reading. (I mean this respectfully. Your skill is above average, but more is better) The way the story ends, it almost seems as if we were at a prison complex so elaborating a little more will help us to visualize what Ciaxton really is.

Thank you for sharing this and keep up the great work!


You can play,
You can lie,
But WE will find you,
and YOU will die!

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15
15
for entry "Doom Task #19" Open in new Window.
Review by Angel_Eyes Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
I did a kindhearted merit badge


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16
16
Review of Connie's Corner  Open in new Window.
Review by Angel_Eyes Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi Connie,

I stopped by your blog because it is listed on the Talents Pond page. I enjoyed reading through several of your posts. I feel like it opened a door to see who you are.

I feel you have done a wonderful job of setting up the blog page. You have used a variety of color and it has a welcoming feel to it.

I also like that this blog is for none other than you. This is a place where you post what is on your mind, how you feel, a memoir of sorts. I would love to come across something like this that had belonged to my dad someday. One of your entries really caught my attention. You were talking about the weather and cutting grass, you also mention that you are 73 - How impressed I am that you are on here sharing your talents and wisdom with us at your age. My dad passed away at 62 and it was an act of congress to teach him how to even Google anything...lol. That was many years ago though, as he passed away in 2012.

Back to your blog... I love this! I would like to see you make more entries closer together - Maybe daily instead of so spaced out. I am convinced your family will be glad you did.

Thank you for sharing with me and allowing me to review you!



You can play,
You can lie,
But WE will find you,
and YOU will die!

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17
17
Review by Angel_Eyes Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a well thought out and detailed example of how to send a care package to a soldier. Thank you for your love, time, and commitment to do such an honorable thing for such honorable men and women. I lost a man who meant the world to me in May of 2012 after he had served over 23 years in the Army, so this truly does touch my heart. All these men and women want is a touch of home, to know they are valued and still feel needed and appreciated. No greater sacrifice will one make than to lay down their lives for a friend - sadly, so many do.

Again, with a truly gracious heart, I appreciate the time and attention you have put into putting this together. If even one soldier is reached because of this it will be time well spent.

The genre for today on GoT is military and this came up. The genre is hard for me, but seeing this made it somewhat easier. Thank you for that as well. May God bless you as you continue to give and bless others through this site.


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#456789 by Creeper Of The Realm Author IconMail Icon




You can play,
You can lie,
But WE will find you,
and YOU will die!

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
18
18
Review of The Lonely Tower  Open in new Window.
Review by Angel_Eyes Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)

I have had the joy of reading your poem "The Lonely Tower" which had me drawn in with great expectation. This amazingly well written poem is filled with mystery and intrigue. The rhyming and the meter assist the story greatly by flowing well and keep the reader wanting to find the room for rent.

The unexpected end gave me a good chuckle and left me with a smile on my face. I suspected this was going to be the case when I read the line about the strand, but wasn't sure until the last line.

You have gone exceedingly above and beyond in this poem, the words not only create a wonderful poem with detail and imagery but the twist at the end brings out the humor and makes this for a much more memorable read. I greatly enjoyed this.

I do not believe I would be interested in renting this lonely tower either.

Thank you for sharing your poem with us and allowing me to review you.

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#456789 by Creeper Of The Realm Author IconMail Icon




You can play,
You can lie,
But WE will find you,
and YOU will die!

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19
19
Review of A DIET OF NEGLECT  Open in new Window.
Review by Angel_Eyes Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
How the writing made me feel: Your poem is filled with information that one might suspect most know but unfortunately that isn't the case. Many do not realize eating well is the essence of good health. I leave this coming Saturday for Guatemala for a medical missions trip for severely malnourished babies and young children. It is a blessing to serve God's less fortunate, but so heartbreaking as well.

Can I relate to the writing through a personal experience? Yes, for the above mentioned reasons.

Did the plot interest me? This is not exactly a luxury read but is still well written and thought out.

Were the characters believable? N/A

Did the item flow naturally? Yes, I feel you did a good job considering the content you were writing about.

What I liked most: Your message of health being a direct result of how we eat.

What I liked least: I would have liked more elaboration so it wasn't "bam" here are the facts... Make it a little more fun to read about the facts.

Did anything stand out? Passion for health related to how we eat.

Is there anything I would change within the writing? Only what I mentioned above.

Was the writing memorable? -

Please keep in mind these comments are strictly my opinion and should be taken as such. Please never change anything that you are not comfortable with changing!!




Thank you for sharing and Write-On!!


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#456789 by Creeper Of The Realm Author IconMail Icon




You can play,
You can lie,
But WE will find you,
and YOU will die!

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20
20
Review by Angel_Eyes Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
Your item "My Biggest Milestone Ever Here" is a true expression of your gratitude not only for the person who had reviewed you seven times, but also for the people who have helped you, in any way, over the years here on the site.

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Overall Impression: This is a well written expression of gratitude and showcase of the well thought out review you gave your chosen. People make all the difference in the world on here, and I appreciate that you would highlight your biggest milestone by reviewing the person who had reviewed you with the best and most helpful tips (the most) leading up to that 1000th review.

Punctuation/Grammar/Spelling: There is a sentence in the start of your piece that has me hung up.

Each of those seven times giving me more, and more really good feedback that I was able to use and grow as a writer here on the Internet.

I do not believe you need the comma after more - more and more is a statement of its own, you are not using the word and as a conjunction to tie two independent clauses together.

Parting Comments: You have a thoughtful and well written tribute to the person and people who have made your time here so special to you. Being listed as one of the top reviews on the review list page is why I came to your port to review you, so being an active reviewer has its perks.


You can play,
You can lie,
But WE will find you,
and YOU will die!

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21
21
Review of Room at the End  Open in new Window.
Review by Angel_Eyes Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | N/A (Review only item.)
Hi Hooves, I have read your poem Room at the End that was inspired by the quotation "Snow provokes responses that reach right back to childhood." Andy Goldsworthy

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#456789 by Creeper Of The Realm Author IconMail Icon



Overall Impression: This is a wonderful poem about snow, cold, warmth, and bed. You take your reader on a magical adventure from icicles and youth to excited to feel the cold, to magical warmth and cozy bed. The transitions flow well, beautifully done. My favorite line was "Irish blue eyes.... " - a future husband, a boy... I could see the childhood innocence but the hope for a future of love and warmth from the heart.

Poetic Tool Box: Wonderfully done. Your skill is amazing. The flow is perfect. Your poem is more free verse, but works well.

Punctuation/Grammar/Spelling: I did not take note of any errors.

Parting Comments: I have always enjoyed your pieces as I stumble across them, and this one did not fail to meet that expectation. The sense of adventure you have created based on the quotation you were given is well done in poetic verse. I enjoyed every stanza, every verse.

Thank you for sharing another powerful poem with us. I hope to read more again soon.


You can play,
You can lie,
But WE will find you,
and YOU will die!

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22
22
Review by Angel_Eyes Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
How the writing made me feel: I am impressed, I do not know what I have stumbled across here but I want to read the rest of it. If this is the synopsis to something in your port, I am all in.

Did the plot interest me? In just a brief synopsis you have left me wanting to know more. What happens with Angela? What does he do after the priest doesn't resolve him of his guilt?

Were the characters believable? Character development is coming along strongly. I wish I had more to get a better sense of who they all are and why.

Did the item flow naturally? - Yes

What I liked most: The storyline is captivating. He knows he has messed up, and wants resolution. I am also curious as to why the priest was so hardened towards him. Isn't it the priests job to allow him to repent and make things right? Is there a bigger story here?

What I liked least: There was no link to more of the story.

Did anything stand out? Attention to detail. I also like how the story starts off with Angela calling from the mental hospital. It sets the tone for crazy and unexpected things to come. The reader is sucked right in from the first sentence.

Is there anything I would change within the writing? Links to more or more of the story.

Was the writing memorable? Yes, this is an item I want to read in its entirety. Is this item in your port and if so would you be so kind as to send me the link? It did not read like this is all there is to it.

Please keep in mind these comments are strictly my opinion and should be taken as such. Please never change anything that you are not comfortable with changing!!




Thank you for sharing and Write-On!!


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#456789 by Creeper Of The Realm Author IconMail Icon




You can play,
You can lie,
But WE will find you,
and YOU will die!

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **



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23
23
Review by Angel_Eyes Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)
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#456789 by Creeper Of The Realm Author IconMail Icon



Overall Impression: What a lovely and romantic poem you have written for your girlfriend. I am sure you swept her off her feet with your words of intimacy. Personally, you had some word there I would have had to look up and it has an impact on just how much the wooing would have done. Very romantic and sensual gesture.

Poetic Tool Box: This is more a free style poem and works well with what you are saying to your lover. The free style does not in any way detract from your poem.

Punctuation/Grammar/Spelling: I did not notice any grammatical errors or spelling; however, it bothered my eye appeal that you used commas in the lower half of your poem but not the top. I am not convinced that this was intentional.

Parting Comments: I like your heart to write pleasing, loving, gentle things for your lady. Your words will be hidden in her heart and treasured.

Thank you for sharing such lovely work.


You can play,
You can lie,
But WE will find you,
and YOU will die!

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24
24
Review by Angel_Eyes Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
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#456789 by Creeper Of The Realm Author IconMail Icon



Overall Impression: A wonderful reminder to be gracious and thankful. Written in November of 2008 this poem won first place in the contest it was written for. Most likely written for Thanksgiving, it still is a daily reminder to be thankful for a blessings.

Poetic Tool Box: Your rhymes are wonderful, but I am a sucker for matching meter. I do not think it is a requirement, but is something I like and draws me in more. Regardless of this missing link for me, I still think you have written a beautiful and powerful poem.

Punctuation/Grammar/Spelling: I did not note any technical errors.

Parting Comments: Congratulations on the win you took with this poem. It is almost that time of year to be spreading it around again. Thank you for the reminder of where our hearts truly should be.

Thank you for sharing such a wonderful poem with us and allowing me to review you.


You can play,
You can lie,
But WE will find you,
and YOU will die!

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25
25
Review by Angel_Eyes Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
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#456789 by Creeper Of The Realm Author IconMail Icon


Overall Impression: It has always intrigued me that my creative juices flow more freely late at night. I always thought it was just one of those quirky characteristics of mine. Maybe, it isn't as uncommon as I thought.

Punctuation/Grammar/Spelling: I did not note any grammatical or spelling errors, but would consider throwing in a comma or two. I believe this is a matter of personal preference.

Parting Comments: Another thing that amazes me is how boldly we can a strong point across in such a few words. With doing things similarly to you, I can see you being like.. Oh, the crap with this, I am starting a blog so I can get all of these thoughts out.

Thank you for sharing your short poem with us and showing me I am not alone on the journey of sleepless nights and blogging. I will need to head over to your port and check it out sometime soon.

Angela


You can play,
You can lie,
But WE will find you,
and YOU will die!

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