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Review Requests: OFF
2,953 Public Reviews Given
3,697 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Honest. I give my overall impressions, let you know what worked well for me and what didn't, and when that happens, I like to try and offer suggestions--totally up to you if you want to take any notice; it is your writing, after all. I am just glad to have the opportunity to read and review. I rarely think anything is perfect, so please do not request a review if you value ratings over review content.
I'm good at...
...being interested. I take time over reviews. My reviews are intimate, informal and honest. They aim to help, offer insight, and celebrate the graft of craft. I love commas. Punctuation is a personal passion.
Favorite Genres
Comedy, supernatural horror, sci-if, fantasy, thriller, detective, slice-of-life, history.
Least Favorite Genres
Dystopian glumness, romance, personal.
Favorite Item Types
Scripts. Fiction. Essays, especially academic
Least Favorite Item Types
Free form poetry. Other than that, little offends.
I will not review...
Unless previously agreed, novels and chapters are a no go with me. I am sorry to say that I haven't the time.
Public Reviews
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726
726
Review by Acme
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hey there,

DON'T PANIC!! This rate and review is just a 'thank you' for taking the time to enter the Acme Comedy Contest. It will not reflect on future judging *Smile*

Firstly, you hit the prompt well with this stale of manic medical salesmanship! *Thumbsup* You tickled a giggle out of this reviewers funny bones - especially with the 'built-in disgust facor'

Funny, well executed, and with another example of comic tv advertising as seen in the previous enry by your fellow competitor billwilcox - I'm happy to say that this too fitted the bill perfectly!

There were no structural, spelling or grammatical errors that I could see.

Thanks again for entering and good luck! Write on and take care,
Acme
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727
727
Review of Moonlite Crossing  
Review by Acme
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Hey! Laurie sent me *Smile*

I think that you have a natural ability to tell a good story. This one really drew me in with wonderful characters and descriptive narrative *Thumbsup*

There were a couple of technical errors which I'm sure will sort themselves out as you become used to the site and the tools at your disposal *Smile*

Here's what I noticed:
Adding a double return spacing between paragraphs can make the story easier on your readers eye.
Use capital letters at the start of sentences.
Become familiar with the different spellings of similar words (eg, their, there, they're).
Use the tool bar at the top of your item to 'edit' and 'spell'check as appropriate.

Ultimately, people will enjoy the story that you set out to write if you use your tools well! Don't forget to check around all the forums for fun activities, contests and groups that will really bring your writin on *Delight*

Thank you so much for sharing. Write on and take care,
Acme
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728
728
Review of Badger  
Review by Acme
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hey Arakun,

You are the most amazing child character writer that I have read since my Judy Bloom days (and I really do mean that as a complement - haven't read her since I was a kid! but she knew me). It's no surprise that you are a fetching shade of yellow and I am soooooo glad that you told me that this write existed *Delight*
Favourite:
I figured Danny would know. He was in third grade and knew everything.

and the whole 'Josiah was real old, prob’ly about fifty...' bit as well *Thumbsup*

Pure, molten gold, turned into bits and bytes and pixelated for my reviewing pleasure. Wonderful!

Write on and take care,
Acme
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729
729
Review by Acme
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey there,

This is an informative and well developed write *Smile* I love a bit of history (mostly roman and silk road) this essay has good facts and you write in such a way as to keep interest for your reader *Thumbsup*

All that I would say that could improve it, would be a few alterations in structure (paragraphs, line spacing etc,) so as to make it a little friendlier to the eye. Other than that; I really did enjoy reading it *Delight*

Write on and take care,
Acme
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730
730
Review by Acme
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hey Kiya,

This is a truly wonderful story on so many levels! *Delight* I love the pace, imagery, delicated handling of fleshy characters - honestly, this was a very satifying read so, 'thank you' *Smile*

Favourite bit:
Father coughed and she stiffened inwardly, her expression giving absolutely nothing away. It was one of resolute indifference, perhaps a look well cultivated and perfected by struggling teenagers over the decades

Fine details render such 3D characters - you are a master of it!

Thank you so very much for sharing. Write on and take care,
Acme
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731
731
Review of Ted's Spots!  
Review by Acme
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hey there,

DON'T PANIC!! This review is a just 'thank you' for taking the time to enter the Acme Comedy Poetry Contest - It will not reflect on future judging *Smile*

Firstly, you hit the 'medical mayhem' prompt with a double whammy of spotty hubby and worried sick wife *Delight*

I guess you meant to state an ABCB rhyme pattern, but that was the only miniscule, nit-picking fault that I could find with this comedy gem *Thumbsup*

Loved the use of emoticons (those little faces are ace!) and a perfect 8/6 alternating rhythym.*Bigsmile*

Thanks again for entering and good luck! Write on and take care, Acme
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732
732
Review by Acme
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hey there!

Welcome to WDC - a great community and now you're part of it too *Delight* This is a wonderful poem to start your time here *Thumbsup*

You'll soon find a whole host of groups and like minded people to bounce ideas with. If you need any help or advice, just click on my envelope and drop me a message - I'll happily point you in the right direction until you find your feet *Bigsmile*

Thank you for sharing. Write on and take care, Acme
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733
733
Review by Acme
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hey there,

You requested a review from the Talent Pond Review Forum and I'm helping out for a while *Smile*

This progresses nicely from the previous chapters - good continuity and plot development *Thumbsup*

There were some places in the stucture that could be re-edited to improve flow on the reader's eye:

"The freedom-loving countries of the world will help us
in our struggle of good
verses evil and we will win.”

There really is not need to indent near the end of the speech unless you wish to set tabs for it's entirity. You may want to review the other areas of text where this also occurs *Smile*

Also, it's a peculiarity of dialogue to use quotation marks only at the start of a paragraph of dialogue, if that dialogue is to continue uninterrupted for other paragraphs (weird, I know!)

I hope this is helpful to you. Thank you for sharing, write on and take care, Acme
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734
734
Review of Some Couch  
Review by Acme
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hey Tilli,

This is great *Delight* Your use of language and descriptive narrative is OUT-OF-THIS-WORLD!! From start to end it is a well expressed peice of prose. Your sentences do seem rather long though. Forgive my manhandling of it but, here are my suggestions to help with 'flow' as reqested in the TRU reveiw request forum *Smile*

{quote:For the first years of my life, I had lived with a single couch[.] that[It] looked as though my own parents{x], hopefully unwillingly, had spied its speckled, white-washed facade protruding awkwardly out from under a black dumpster cover, and had decided to fish it out for the family. I can only recall single framed reels pertaining to it's gauche penetration into my life,[.] yet I recall [with] in a clarity above that of perfection that from the first time I slid my Old Navy, white-striped shorts slowly up onto the itchy, off-white cushions which fit unevenly across it's length, [that] I hated it.

well-developed tastes[. T]he little bits of green

easily removed[. They] proceeded to dangle unattractively

of puke[. C]ombined and catalyzed

My great-grandmother died from lung cancer at the end of 1997 and created the first callus upon my heart[. M]y father got his first job out of law school working for a friend as a defense attorney[.] M]y sister was born[.] I had to get rushed to the emergency room when I split my head open[.] The family finally found a good church[. M]y mother began to attend AA meetings[,] starting a long journey to a clean soul, and the first inklings of divorce began placing themselves in the arguments between father and mother.

Remember; these are only suggestions *Smile* I just found it hard to take a mental breath with all those commas.

One other thing; I'd change the 'tragedy' sub-genre for 'satire' you have a wonderfully dark comic edge to this peice that should be applauded.

You have a lovely turn of phrase and I really could imagine this ghastly sofa - It's the sign of a good writer to 'show' and not 'tell', and you are a good writer!

Thank you so much for sharing. Write on and take care, Acme
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735
735
Review of Grandmother  
Review by Acme
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey there Susu,

This is a delightful tale of family at a difficult time. You weave beautiful pictures of your characters in this story - a real talent *Smile*

There were a few places where the use of language could be improved to assist the reader:

Everyday she went to hospital to accompany her, hoping [a] miracle would happen.

At [the strike of twelve o’clock strike], it was Christmas

The grandma was in danger. Everybody was called to hospital to see her last face.[ - perhaps: 'The grandmother became very ill and her conditioned deteriorated. The staff asked the family to gather around her bed to pay their last respects.']

[The y]oung girl

forthright finger slightly moved. She was with great joy.[ - perhaps: 'forefinger move slightly and she was filled with joy.']

She passed something to young girl’s mom when she went to toilet. - you don't really need this line as the next describes the gift. I would change it a little [ - perhaps; 'When the young girl and her parents went back home for some rest, her mom smiled as she remembered the small red packed that the old lady had passed to her earlier.]

She gladly open[ed]


I hope that you find these suggestions helpful *Smile*

Thank you for sharing. Write on and take care, Acme
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736
736
Review by Acme
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hey Arakun!

Well, now this contest looks just great *Laugh*

So glad you like the Merit Badge and you have made my day for highlighting it *Blush* How did I know? The contest is listed as one of my favourites so I saw that it had been updated and went in for a read!

Having my friend proudly display it has made my day!

Write on and take care, Acme *Heart*
737
737
Review by Acme
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hey Hezza,

I just love coming around to visit your port *Smile*. I love the way you have with words - my kind of writing! I settled down to read this and be helpfully thorough, as per your request, and struck a problem. I got sooooo carried away by this fascinating story that I had to re-read it to look for typos*Laugh*

You will be pleased to discover that I can't find many! Here they are:

Most job titles get given the noun-like honours of a capitalised letter eg, Managing Director. The only other needed capitalisation is the 'L' for Limited - as this is indicating a company that is Limited By Guarantee.

There was[, however,] much to do. The excess was [therefore] placed in the storeroom, and the staff given instructions to send it back after the festive period.

There is no need for the words which I have put in brackets and this paragraph can then be added to the one after it, and still retain its flow *Thumbsup*

Other than that - nothing! Just pure Hezza gold. Thanks for sharing. Write on and take care, Acme
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738
738
Review of Island  
Review by Acme
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hey there,

I said that I'd be back *Smile* I just love the the idea behind this one - your head must ache with thoughts like these zipping about!

I remember this prompt but couldn't get anything for it - did you win? Good use of dialogue (a smooth transition from spoken to mental *Thumbsup*) and lovely interaction between mother and daughter. The only thing that held me back from a perfect 5 was the wish that you could have gone beyond the 1000 word constraints of the Cramp - this story is crying out to be expanded on *Smile*

Thanks so much for sharing. Write on and take care, Acme
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739
739
Review by Acme
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hey Kiya,

This is a fantastic idea and has just been added to my favourites.*Delight*

Now I really have very few excuses for all, those, lovely, commas, that peper my writing *Laugh*

Informal, informative and insightful - thank you soooooo much for sharing your knowledge *Thumbsup*

Write on and take care, Acme *Heart*
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740
740
Review of Bogeyman Nights  
Review by Acme
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Ooh, Gigie!

Mysterious stuff for Nancy Drew (John *Laugh*)

This write is just perfect at building up the tensiona and, just when you think you have it!; building up the tension again *Delight*

Love all of this folder so much and had to stop by to congratulate you on the Drama Newsletter highlight *Bigsmile* Thoroughly deserved (if only we could tie you to the typewriter and get our eyes on the next chapter...)

Thanks for sharing, my friend. Write on and take care, Acme *Heart*
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741
741
Review by Acme
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hey Jack,

This little write delivers; bang, bang, BANG from the off *Laugh*

I am such a huge fan of, what I have now dubbed, the Comedy Vignette. You, sir, are the master*Delight*

I lost count of my guffaws, and all sensible thought of watching for typos went out the window with my first snort. Re-reading it I could find nothing but good solid writing. The structure of the story as an article fit the comedy punchlines like a glove *Thumbsup*. Your characterisations were wonderfully believable; my favourite being the dead-pan humour of the Judge!

Point, shoot, run - comic genius, Mr Rawlins. *Bigsmile*

Thank you for sharing. Write on and take care, Acme
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742
742
Review of Dear Angela  
Review by Acme
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hey David,

Creepy and funny? I just love your dark humour *Bigsmile* I know the contest picture prompt for this one and you did a great job of summing it up in this write!

I can't find a single fault in this narrated letter; from its opening address to it's chilling Mansonesque ending. Ace.

Write on and take care, Acme
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743
743
Review of Lost  
Review by Acme
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hey Paige,

I really enjoyed this essay (shhh, I too know the terror of the previously undriven destination *Confused*

As far as your comedy goes: spot on
You set the pace well and the reader empathises easily with the narrator and the possible comedy out comes.

As far as the writing goes: Smooth dialogue, lovely character build (in satalite characters like the nephew and garage attendant, as well as the narrator). Insightful, obeservational humour in the imagery used.

Saw a couple of places where you may want to re-edit to make reader friendly, just structural and only my thoughts (feel free to ignore *Delight*)

Growing up in a small community, I never knew I had an affliction until I received my driver's license.

Then I remained in denial, and refused to admit my directional shortcomings. The first and most important reason

I'd be tempted to join these two paragraphs together as the stand alone statement before them would then have even greater visual/comedy punch *Smile*

There were quite a few exclamation marks peppering the text where a 'dead-pan' period would have served up the humour just as well.

Like I said, this is all that I can find to mention in what is otherwise a wonderful write.

Thank you for sharing. Write on and take care, Acme
744
744
Review of Allergies  
Review by Acme
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey Rob,

DON'T PANIC!! This rate and review is just a 'thank you' for entering the Acme Comedy Poetry Contest. It will not reflect on future judging *Smile*

Firstly, you didn't hit the 'family' prompt with this entry, but you still brought a smile to my face *Bigsmile* Medical humour is always a good funny and this was no exception with the allergy angle.

Good choice of AABB rhyming pattern on the first and last verse but a bit lost in the middle section. The rythym was informal and easy to read so I could concentrate on you comedy *Thumbsup*

Thanks for entering and good luck! Write on and take care, Acme
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745
745
Review of Senior Discount  
Review by Acme
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey there,

DON'T PANIC!! This rate and review is just a 'thank you' for taking time to enter the Acme Comedy Poetry Contest. It will not reflect on future judging *Smile*

Firstly, I feel that you didn't hit the 'family' prompt for this round. However, this was a humorous poem that had me reflecting on all the benefits that age will bring *Delight*

Warmly told by penning a realistic character as narrator, and with no stated verse structure, you allowed the poem a natural, informal pace.

Thank you for entering and good luck! Write on and take care, Acme
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746
746
Review by Acme
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hey Maree,

DON'T PANIC!! This rate and review is a 'thank you' for taking the time to enter the Acme Comedy Contest. It will not reflect on future judging *Smile*

Firstly, you hit the prompt of 'family' in such a wonderfully twisted way *Thumbsup* I love the originality of this letter and soon got drawn into your humour.

I haven't got one favourite bit as the poems are all classics *Laugh* So heres my favourite line:
And we don't care about you being fat. Honestly, it hardly matters at all.


I only saw one typo:
To my Dear sister Meg

[remove extra spaces?] Hello Meg


Thank you again for entering the contest and good luck! Write on and take care, Acme
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747
747
Review of Final Justice  
Review by Acme
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hey there,

Love, love, love this write *Delight* I nearly always read too fast and it takes a good author to slow me down to their pace and you did it wonderfully. You managed to pack that Johnny Cash country tempo into this futuristic mercenary tale.

Makes me want to read all my old editions of 'Missionary Man' - Ace *Thumbsup*

Tried really hard to check for typos and spelling and such; kept losing focus and getting sucked back into the story. Realistically, this means you end up with a useless review if you're looking for improvement points. Sorry. Will try harder to pull your next tale to shreds *Laugh*

Seriously, can't find a single fault. Well written and well done (bit jealous, really...)

Thanks for sharing. Write on and take care, Acme
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748
748
Review by Acme
Rated: E | (5.0)
Philistines! *Heart*
749
749
Review of Syl  
Review by Acme
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Oh, Arakun!

This is just a beautiful and delightful write *Delight* You always paint such vivid characters and this is superb!

Favourite bit:
That garden had more colors than my box of 120 crayolas.

Lovely imagery and a good use of child-friendly descriptive narrative *Thumbsup*

No spelling or typos that I noticed, just one picky little thing:
They have awarded you the title of honorary flower and want [perhaps; Honorary Flower, as it is a titile?]

Please feel free to ignore as it's only personal preference *Smile*

Thank you so much for sharing and good luck in the contest! Write on and take care, Acme*Heart*
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750
750
Review of August Prompts  
Review by Acme
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey there,

I enjoyed reading your assignment *Smile*

You really made the characters come alive *Thumbsup*

I did notice a few typos, but they're easily fixed by a quick re-edit:

Tell us about Red Avengers.["]
becoming a police [officer?] one day and
when I was dealing [with?] a murder

He is quite plump[y]

"It's worse[r] that I have expected
Take time, that's okay, but be quick [-re-edit?]


Thanks for sharing. Write on and take care, Acme
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