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2,953 Public Reviews Given
3,697 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Honest. I give my overall impressions, let you know what worked well for me and what didn't, and when that happens, I like to try and offer suggestions--totally up to you if you want to take any notice; it is your writing, after all. I am just glad to have the opportunity to read and review. I rarely think anything is perfect, so please do not request a review if you value ratings over review content.
I'm good at...
...being interested. I take time over reviews. My reviews are intimate, informal and honest. They aim to help, offer insight, and celebrate the graft of craft. I love commas. Punctuation is a personal passion.
Favorite Genres
Comedy, supernatural horror, sci-if, fantasy, thriller, detective, slice-of-life, history.
Least Favorite Genres
Dystopian glumness, romance, personal.
Favorite Item Types
Scripts. Fiction. Essays, especially academic
Least Favorite Item Types
Free form poetry. Other than that, little offends.
I will not review...
Unless previously agreed, novels and chapters are a no go with me. I am sorry to say that I haven't the time.
Public Reviews
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Review of Stuff  
Review by Acme
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Shock* AAAARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH! *Laugh* That is the scariest illustration I have ever seen *Delight* - I love it!

What a fabulous and tidy place you have here Amy - I've not visited you for ages so it's good to see a little compuslive obsessive disorder in your neat and tidy port (I think I'll wait for spring *Wink*)

Seriously, I know this is a folder, but it is neat, well displayed and well organised; and above all else, it's friendly and welcoming *Thumbsup*

Hurrah for tidy people, they make me look so very scruffy!
Hugs,
Acme *Heart*
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627
Review of One last breath  
Review by Acme
Rated: E | (2.0)
*Star* An Acme Review *Star*

This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it! *Smile*


What are my overall impressions?

This is a work in progress so it's a little difficult to rate *Smile* You have come up with an interesting idea and it will be interesting to see if you can come up with an original story that isn't like a recent television program which dealt with similar concepts. There is still quite a bit of work to do, but you have made a start, and posting your ideas for others to read and comment on can be a daunting step, so well done *Thumbsup*

What are my favourite parts?
So dark I swear that a normal human wouldn't be able to see a light bulb two feet in front of them.
- this took some thinking about *Smile*!

What are my suggestions?
Proof reading what you do put down can really help to catch typos and spelling mistakes like the ones which pepper this item. There is also a spell checker on the tool bar at the top of this item for you to use.

Using exclamation marks in so many sentences can reduce their impact, so you may want to replace a few of them with periods.

Double spacing you dialogue, and between any paragraphs, can make the reading experience smoother on the readers eye.

*Star* Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care *Star*

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Review of TALL TALE  
Review by Acme
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Star* An Acme Review *Star*

This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it! *Smile*


Congratulations on being caught as a Prize Catch by
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The Talent Pond  (ASR)
The Talent Pond is working with you to achieve your writing goals.
#1261045 by Brooklyn


What are my overall impressions?

High seas adventures are great fun and this 'Tall Tale' was great fun to read *Delight* Good pace, thrilling adventure and a pretty intense monster; what more could a reviewer ask for? Not much, but there a few places which could use a re-edit on technical grounds.

What are my favourite parts?
Leaving broken hearts behind gets harder with every tear, but I must say goodbye; the wind whispers that wonderful things await just beyond the next sunset.
- this is wonderful writing *Smile* You manage to build the protagonists character and do so using some well used literary devices such as alliteration, and vivid imagery *Thumbsup*

What are my suggestions?
You may want to make the most of the genre choice fields when creating your work; filling these in can make it easier to find for those readers searching the site listings by genre.

I tighten the mainsail and expanded the jib so it could embrace more wind. There is no better feeling then working the wind right and rhythmically dissecting the waves. A slight shift makes me lose the wind for a moment. It was like I passed over something, but I was in very deep water.
as the previous paragraph begins the story in the past tense, you may wish to continue it that way; as changes in tense can be somewhat distracting to the reader.

Son of a bitch I thought. Size - especially out there - matters.
may read better with alternate punctuation:
Son of a bitch[,] I thought. Size[,] especially out there[,] matters.


*Star* Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care *Star*

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Review of Your Catharsis  
Review by Acme
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Star* An Acme Review *Star*

This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it!
Thanks for entering
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#1352060 by Not Available.



What are my overall impressions?

This poem is a little power-house of passion and raw emotion. I love the way you 'step' the text; it almost seemed like I was descending into the narrators hell *Smile*! I've been this person and I think a lot of people will relate to that final stanza. Wonderful writing which made me 'feel' - thank you!

What are my favourite parts?
Green, raging jealousy
born of past loves broken.
- I love the thoughts these lines evoked in me, and the choice of language used 'loves broken' would seem to indicate 'loves' and 'promises' being synonymous with each other. Very well written *Thumbsup*

What are my suggestions?
And i weep quietly
- capital 'I'

*Star* Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care *Star*

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630
Review of Beautiful Child  
Review by Acme
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Star* An Acme Review *Star*

This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it!
Thanks for entering
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What are my overall impressions?

This poem is set out in such a way as to make a visual impact; and it works really well *Smile* The refrain is used well, without becoming too repetitive and help sets the reading pace between the stanzas. I found your imagery to be vivid and the narrative style teetered beautifully between objective and subjective study of this Beautiful Child.

What are my favourite parts?
Full of wonder still
For the beauty of the
Sunset and the stars.
- this particular piece stood out to me and added a real insight into the thoughts of the narrator *Thumbsup*

What are my suggestions?
I don't have any suggestions to improve this piece. There were no noticeable errors in structure, grammar, or spelling.

*Star* Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care *Star*

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Review of Kirby  
Review by Acme
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Star* An Acme Review *Star*

This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it!
Thanks for entering
 Invalid Item 
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#1352060 by Not Available.



What are my overall impressions?

Well, as I looked through your port for another read, I had to choose this poem; especially having read your vignette - I'm glad I did *Smile* Kirby sounds like a wonderful companion to have had in your life and your writings certainly do justice to the love you two shared.

What are my favourite parts?
I miss you
is for when you're gone
- This is I really like the way you echoed the opening verse - a very good device for presenting the poem as a whole *Thumbsup*

What are my suggestions?
I will not say 'goodbye'
instead, 'until we meet again'
- single quotation marks would work well here

*Star* Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care *Star*

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Review of The Line  
Review by Acme
Rated: 13+ | (2.0)
"Written be me to edit with a class in order to teach them how to edit their own work" - you may want to proof read your work.

As this would appear to be an excersise piece there seems little point in having it displayed as it is on site, as you must already be aware of the editing which needs to be done?

However, as giving reviews at WDC is designed to foster community support and general good manners, I will add that you have obviously got a lot more to give this site, and I look forward to seeing your future efforts. Welcome to WDC.

Write on and take care,
Acme
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Review by Acme
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Star* An Acme Review *Star*

This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it! *Smile*

You have won this review as part of
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#1352060 by Not Available.


What are my overall impressions?

I do hope you don't mind me carrying on with the rest of your won reviews (I'm a little behind on some other commitments) - if there is something specific you would like me to review that I haven't done so here, please drop me a line and I'll be happy to come back and visit again *Smile*

As I'm also a contestant in Elle - no longer a fresher... 's 12 Days of Christmas, I just had to see what the competition was up to *Laugh*! I really wish I hadn't, as this piece is absolutely wonderful and full of humour. Well done with this monologue form. You have really added a humourous character in this partridge, and I loved every snort of laughter and every smile, your writing provoked from me.

What are my favourite parts?
Hey, careful with the flashing lights, I ain’t speeding anywhere, buddy. What is this, the Fourth of July or sump’n? I hope there ain’t gonna be fireworks? I’m scared silly by ‘em, and my lovely tail plume droops with the smoke.
- I love the character that comes out of this piece of dialogue.

What are my suggestions?
Ahhh..there’s an open window....okay, a nice flapping start.....and off I go!
- these ellipsis wouldn't spoil the effect if you used the three period form.

*Star* Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care *Star*

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634
Review by Acme
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Star* An Acme Review *Star*

This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it! *Smile*

You have won this review as part of
 Invalid Item 
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#1352060 by Not Available.


What are my overall impressions?

I get very envious of authors abilities to invent the strange new worlds and devices used in Science Fiction story telling. I've been a fan of the genre since as long as I can remember (the artist Tim White really inspired my imagination along with reading and TV), but I just can't seem to write it *Laugh*! Maybe that's why I really find your style so addictive; it seems to come so naturally to you, and this story sucked me in from the first curious paragraph.

What are my favourite parts?
You have a great ability to get straight to the action, important in a flash fiction like this, but you do it so very seamlessly and well *Thumbsup* I particularly enjoyed the way you didn't need to explain any extraneous details, such as the appearance of the Zircons; leaving it up to the imagination of your reader was fun.

What are my suggestions?
Mason could no longer contain his excitement[,] “If they get zeclodium, they will be able to make many more spheres”! - there are several other places where you have dialogue punctuation outside of the quotation marks, where it should be inside, so you may want to re-edit with this in mind *Smile*

*Star* Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care *Star*

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635
Review by Acme
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Star* An Acme Review *Star*

This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it! *Smile*

You have won this review as part of
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What are my overall impressions?

I'm always interested by how people came to be enthusiastic members of this site. This story of your relationship with your Aunt and subsequent relationship with computers, is one of the best stories I've been privy to; especially because you are obviously a Sci-fi fan (Data being one of your favourites, if I remember correctly). Isn't it odd that we often have a fascinated love of that which we don't understand. I too always got my partner to do any IT related jobs for me, until I got my own Laptop and realised it was mine to break *Laugh*!

What are my favourite parts?
She included her e-mail address, and told me that I could e-mail her! I brought the letter to my husband and asked him to help me. He was standing with two of my children at the time. After the three of them got over their initial bout of laughter, my husband set up an e-mail address for me.
- It's these little things that can seem like huge hurdles to the un-initiated; you've done a great job of capturing that feeling in this wonderfully written moment *Thumbsup*

What are my suggestions?
You have several of your paragraphs using the same beginning "As...", you may want to freshen up these opening sentences by looking at alternate starts.

*Star* Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care *Star*

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636
Review by Acme
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
*Star* An Acme Review *Star*

This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it! *Smile*

You have won this review as part of
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What are my overall impressions?

I'm nearly always drawn to the items in authors ports which are comedy, or satire based. I loved the title to this and knew I had to review it; and boy! I'm so glad I did *Smile* I just love the economic profiling (luaus and barbecues instead of high cost business dinners), the attention to cultural understanding with regard to middle-east conflicts; not to mention the foundation building of Educational and Health matters.

What are my favourite parts?
"What world problems couldn’t be settled after a few dances of the Macarena?"
- I'd like to see the issues that couldn't be settled this way. Even though I have my own ideas about running the planet, I have to say, if I don't get to have a crack at it, I shall be voting for you *Thumbsup*

What are my suggestions?
Go to your nearest local government office and tell them you are now running the show.

*Star* Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care *Star*

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637
Review by Acme
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*Star* An Acme Review *Star*

This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it! *Smile*

You have won this review as part of
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What are my overall impressions?

I have never seen a campfire like this one before *Smile* What a wonderful idea. Having read all of the participants entries, they all think it a good idea too! I remember feeling a little lost and isolated when I first started WDC; it didn't last long as so may people made me feel welcome by visiting my port and bringing me out into the community. What I like about this idea, is that it encourages people into that community and does so through writing; the whole reason any of us joined a site called Writing.com *Thumbsup*

What are my favourite parts?
The setting! Your choice is inspired as it allows people to take advantage of a myriad of activities and pursuits. There literally is something for everyone.

What are my suggestions?
None! Another great example of thinking of the audience you are hoping to reach and tailoring an activity for them.

*Star* Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care *Star*

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638
Review by Acme
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Star* An Acme Review *Star*

This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it! *Smile*

You have won this review as part of
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What are my overall impressions?

Sometimes it can be quite daunting to enter someones port, having never been directly there before. This marvelous web-page puts paid to any ideas of trepidation. It's warm, welcoming, useful and easy to navigate. Not to mention really pretty *Delight*!

What are my favourite parts?
I love the graphics; they make it so easy on the eye, to find where you need to be going *Thumbsup* I've visited lots of places in your port via other doors (Movie Talk, Star Trek Forum and Check it Out), but this web page makes the visit feel even more special - ace!

What are my suggestions?
None! It's an absolutely perfect example of a really well presented and informative web page.

*Star* Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care *Star*

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639
Review of A Breath  
Review by Acme
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Star* An Acme Review *Star*

This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it! *Smile*

You have won this review as part of
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#1352060 by Not Available.


What are my overall impressions?

This poem is so powerful packed with passion and drama - I just loved it *Smile* Your opening verse sucked me right in and your well used rhythm and pace drew me along so subtly into the intimacy between your protagonists. Wonderfully written!

What are my favourite parts?
The confusion of the characters (and so subsequently the reader) in the middle of all this romance, mystery and drama. This poem shows you a clearly a master at moulding your readership to the feelings of your characters *Thumbsup*

What are my suggestions?
Oooh, add a third genre, 'Drama' - it's such a dramatic scene you paint here *Delight*

*Star* Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care *Star*

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Review of Insomnia  
Review by Acme
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Star* An Acme Review *Star*

This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it! *Smile*


What are my overall impressions?

I love dark humour, and you do a smashing job here with it in this poem. Half of the effect is created by your choice of a traditional quatrain structure, in which rhyme and rhythm are well combined - I really enjoyed this read *Smile*

What are my favourite parts?
I love the Insomniacs prayer in first verse - it set up a fantastic hook, humour and tone for the rest of the poem. Good drama too, and I thought your choice of genres was spot-on too, but you could have chosen, 'melodrama', 'medical', 'death' and probably a multitude of others! *Thumbsup*

What are my suggestions?
My only suggestion would be to look at your use of punctuation in the piece. It's probably a personal preference, but I tend to have an 'All, or Nothing' approach, and this poem uses it occasionally (along with capitalised beginnings to every line) so you may want to use it'l normal rules for the rest of the poem.

*Star* Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care *Star*

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Review of Tiny Fingers  
Review by Acme
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Star* An Acme Review *Star*

This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it! *Smile*


What are my overall impressions?

I'm a huge fan of the Grimm's fairy-tales, as I'm quite horrid, and like it when the gruesome stuff happens, so I was drawn to this in your port. I was even happier when I found it to be one of my favouite tales, as I have re-written this particular story as satire. Your poem is a doozy, and you captured the dark-joy and tone of the original perfectly! My only concerns were personal preferences and did not stop me enjoying your work *Smile*

What are my favourite parts?
I loved the repetitious opening lines to most of the stanzas. They managed to evoke the sing-song rhythm that I expect from fairy-tales (eg, what big eyes you have...) *Thumbsup*

What are my suggestions?
Like I said before, it's purely personal preference, but, as you had a pretty traditional quatrain structure with ABCB rhyme pattern, you may want to re-edit with respect to the meter, as this falters in some places.

*Star* Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care *Star*

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Review of Ye Olde Archaism  
Review by Acme
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
*Star* An Acme Review *Star*

This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it! *Smile*


What are my overall impressions?

Oh, I loved this! Maybe because I'm from the Yorkshire/Lancashire border where many archaic forms of language are still present in the dialect, but I think this activity is such a playful way of acknowledging this style of speech and literature *Delight*. Well written and put together, I found it a real fun read, so thank you!

What are my favourite parts?
Of course, the most important thing is to have fun. Playing with language is a delightful practice, and an intriguing challenge, that evokes creativity.
- this sentiment is one which could be used by so many writers in so many different styles of writing *Thumbsup*

What are my suggestions?
It may be an idea to quote your references and sources for those wishing to delve more into this fascinating subject.

*Star* Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care *Star*

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643
Review by Acme
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Star* An Acme Review *Star*
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This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it! *Smile*


What are my overall impressions?

Gee, maybe it's because I'm sat in the North of England, in the dark (7pm here), with the wind and the rain beating down my door... but I just had to stop by and take a look at this ghost story! And I'm so glad I did *Delight* This story delivers so well as a vignette/flash fiction tale of the supernatural. There are just a few area in the structure where you may want to re-edit *Smile*

What are my favourite parts?
He led her to the library and showed her a picture hanging on the wall. "Was this the man?" he asked.
- *Worry* GOOSEBUMPS! aaaarrrrrrrggggghhhh! *Delight* Ace! What a great build-up. When a reader chooses to read something which says it's a ghost-story, they know what they're in for; it didn't stop me from getting goosebumps when all the little hairs rose at the back of my neck! *Thumbsup*

What are my suggestions?
"Need some help[,] lass?"
- when adding any kind of pet-name, it should be treated to the comma normally given to any other form of name.

"Here.." Amanda
- when using ellipsis, it's common to use three sequential periods.


*Star* Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care *Star*

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Review by Acme
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Star* An Acme Review *Star*

This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it! *Smile*


What are my overall impressions?

This is a thoughtful poem which conveys a hopeful message of international peace - I can see how the Daisy Prompt would inspire you, but I still would have loved to have seen your chain of thought in relation to it *Smile* I enjoyed the simple structure of a quatrain form with ABAB rhyme pattern, as this complemented the simple ideal of your poem beautifully.

What are my favourite parts?
I liked the sense of a 'musing narrator' as each verse seemed to be supply an answer, followed by and explanation, and finally an effort to look at realistic efforts by individuals to improve their lot and lead by example - very nicely done *Thumbsup*

What are my suggestions?
The rhythm is a little uncomfortable as it tends to vary between each stanza; nothing that a little re-edit couldn't fix.

*Star* Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care *Star*

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645
645
Review by Acme
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Star* An Acme Review *Star*

This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it! *Smile*


What are my overall impressions?

You have wonderfully captured the story of a town in so few words - and the ones you have used convey a tone of pride tinged with sadness and, finally, hope. You make me want to know more about this town, it's people, it's stories. You obviously have a natural talent for good narrative description *Smile*

What are my favourite parts?
But all the fish have been caught and all the trees have been cut and no more does cash flow through this quaint little place.
- I really felt as though I could see this place, smell it, touch it, say 'hi' to the townsfolk. Beautifully written *Thumbsup*

What are my suggestions?
but now seem strait out of history
- straight

anything bigger than the IGA It's probably a cultural thing (I'm painfully British*Blush*), but I have no idea what an IGA might be.

*Star* Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care *Star*

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Review of A Surprise Party.  
Review by Acme
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Star* An Acme Review *Star*

This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it!

Thank you for entering the Acme Comedy Contest. This review will not effect any future judging *Smile*


What are my overall impressions?

I had to stop my self reading to fast! Your writing is so break-neck in it's pace, a wonderful device that mirrors the narrators POV perfectly. In fact the only time the language you choice to use became calm, measured and more tranquil in its imagery, was in the unswerving faith and belief Ravi held for his mothers ability. Wonderful writing like this doesn't come along every day and I'm so glad I got a chance to read it. Thank you!

What are my favourite parts?
I honestly couldn't highlight one! This peice is so full of that wonderful, manic, family drawn humour which I have come to love from you *Delight* Everything was so well written, from your trade-mark flesh and blood characters to the near slapstic-woman-on-a-mission list of things to do! This is Basil Fawlty meets the real world. I reallllllllly loved the relationships the kids had with the narrator. Brilliant!

What are my suggestions?
I have no suggestions, as apart from a few typos, I think this piece is perfect.

I’m so happy all your classmates will be coming[.]”

{i]Thank God, I remembered that just in time
} - typo

*Star* Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care *Star*

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Review of Depressed Hamster  
Review by Acme
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Star* An Acme Review *Star*

This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it! *Smile*


What are my overall impressions?

Funny - poor ole Sam... This is a cracking comedy poem, with good rhyme structure, just a little attention to the rhythm and tis will be perfect *Thumbsup*

What are my favourite parts?
I'm running in my hamster wheel.
Plastic. Shiny. Red.
I'm running in my hamster wheel.
I wish that I were dead.
- what a great 'hook' for your poem! Top Notch. I love that you've used the punctuation in such a start/stop way, as it actually creates a mental POV for the Hamster! Ace *Delight*

What are my suggestions?
Just to take another look at it, with regards to meter and fluctuations in syllabic structure *Smile*

*Star* Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care *Star*

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Review by Acme
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*Star* An Acme Review *Star*

This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it! *Smile*


What are my overall impressions?

You can't imagine how much I've enjoyed reading your entries in Pairs Skating *Delight* This final piece is just great - the characters and their story is told so well in such a short space; the poetry and prose meld seamlessly and I got taken into the story so very well (usually an indication of me not being distracted by errors *Wink*) Well done to both of you, and my one suggestion is such an easy fix that I would feel churlish in giving you anything less than a perfect score. You have been a pleasure to read and I look forward to watching you skate in the future!

What are my favourite parts?
Marvin Gaye *Delight* - a perfect literary moment complimented by a theme tune in my head as I read! Top Notch writing all round *Thumbsup*

What are my suggestions?
“What do you have in mind Anna?” I asked. “I’d like to take you skiing. My
folks have a cabin up on Rapture Mountain; Anna replied then added, “You can ski can’t you?” “I’m no expert but perhaps you can show me what I don’t already know.” I replied slyly trying to contain my excitement.
- It may have been slightly smoother on the eye to have return spacing between the dialogue.

*Star* Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care *Star*

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Review by Acme
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Star* An Acme Review *Star*

This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it! *Smile*


What are my overall impressions?

A really warm and wonderful tale, full of great fun, and lesson on self-acceptence! This is the kind of story I like to read my children, one where they can see the action, laugh, question, see and giggle. You have a natural talent for speaking to the kinds of things children want to hear. Just a few places where you may want to re-edit to make a smoother reading experience *Smile*

What are my favourite parts?
As Garvey puffed out his chest knowing that within him was the heart of an eagle, courageous and proud, his flock and family flew over him. He knew that he dreamed a dream that would never be. He knew that he was Garvey the Goose, a great gray goose with a home and family.

- lovely alliteration, character insight and warmly written *Thumbsup*

What are my suggestions?
Garvey, the Goose
By

- you forgot to put your name in! *Wink*

Garvey, a proud Canadian goose[,] stood high atop an old lightning struck pine tree.


Garveymissed all the
- missing space

What Garvey did next [is shocking still shocks] his goose friends even today.



*Star* Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care *Star*

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Review of Love  
Review by Acme
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Star* An Acme Review *Star*

This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it!


What are my overall impressions?

LIS - Here Again! has read your work and told me to come and visit you *Smile* I am so glad I did! Welcome to WDC, I hope you have a wonderful time here and have fun exploring this vast community. I found this poem to be packed full of writing surprises. I love the way you chose to separate the Free Verse into two stanzas and incorporate a series of questions versus answers in the two halves. This was a great visual and developmental devise and served as a great foundation from which to convey the subject matter.

What are my favourite parts?
I particularly enjoyed the way you explored the narrators POV and used it to move the story along - ingenious plot development *Thumbsup*

What are my suggestions?
No noticeable errors in grammar, structure or spelling. A wonderfully tight write!


*Star* Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care *Star*

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