Acme's (acme) Reviews

Review Requests: OFF

2,953 Public Reviews Given

3,697 Total Reviews Given

Review Style

Honest. I give my overall impressions, let you know what worked well for me and what didn't, and when that happens, I like to try and offer suggestions--totally up to you if you want to take any notice; it is your writing, after all. I am just glad to have the opportunity to read and review. I rarely think anything is perfect, so please do not request a review if you value ratings over review content.

I'm good at...

...being interested. I take time over reviews. My reviews are intimate, informal and honest. They aim to help, offer insight, and celebrate the graft of craft. I love commas. Punctuation is a personal passion.

Favorite Genres

Comedy, supernatural horror, sci-if, fantasy, thriller, detective, slice-of-life, history.

Least Favorite Genres

Dystopian glumness, romance, personal.

Favorite Item Types

Scripts. Fiction. Essays, especially academic

Least Favorite Item Types

Free form poetry. Other than that, little offends.

I will not review...

Unless previously agreed, novels and chapters are a no go with me. I am sorry to say that I haven't the time.

551

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#2676526

Review of Poetic Torch Scorches NEO-Tyranny Agenda

Review by Acme

Rated: 13+

| (2.0)

An Acme Review

This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it!

You are receiving this review as part of "Invalid Item"

What are my overall impressions?
The trouble with political dogma is this: it can mean a whole lot to you and very little to the people exposed to it if you a spurred on more by 'political fervor' and evangelism, than a wish to educate. I'm British - what's a Yippee? Your argument is weak if your vocabulary is mute to your readership. This is a historical writing contest, not a rally; your work should be targeted more to the audience which you want to address.

What are my favourite parts?
You certainly seem to have a passion for your subject.

What are my suggestions?
If you do wish to enter a history based piece, you may want to quote more than "9/11" as a reference point for your readers. However, as a political statement, I'm sure you know much more about the meaning behind your words than I do.

Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care

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552

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#2676348

Review of Headlines and Baseballs

Review by Acme

Rated: E

| (3.5)

An Acme Review

This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it!

You are receiving this review as part of "Invalid Item"

What are my overall impressions?
Modern History is sometimes overlooked, so it makes a refreshing change to read this story set in the middle of last century, about a life lead at the close of the 19th. The Newsboys contest is a great idea, and I'm sure this tale will do very well. I like the general look at the history through plot lines dealing with child labour, medical care, family interaction, and finance. However, it would have been great to see more 'history' as a backdrop to the era in the narrative description.

What are my favourite parts?
The dialogue was excellent, and really helped you characters come to life

What are my suggestions?

"caryin' the banner".

- carryin' (carry)

messages, I figure. and I kinda like it
- no need for period

pay for the doctor."My heart started
- double space return, new paragraph after speech

"Mamma." I whispered
- comma or question mark instead of period

to say 'hullo to me
- 'hullo'

frusterated to find that the rest of the
- frustrated

He smiled. and put his
- no need for period

grandmother.." I was
- three periods to an ellipsis

Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care

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553

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#2676280

Review of Furry Philosophy

Review by Acme

Rated: E

| (5.0)

An Acme Review

This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it!

What are my overall impressions?
I found the If... composition of this simple quatrain poem to be most effective in delivering your wonderful imagery and kitty philosophy. This poem is very well written and you set a thoughtful and pleasant tone throughout.

What are my favourite parts?
The relationship between the narrator and the animal is drawn so well with though good language choices, allusion, and beautiful descriptive narrative

What are my suggestions?
You may want to remove the link at the bottom of the poem, as this item is now invalid.

You may want to consider adding 'comedy' as a genre choice, as the antics of the kitten in your poem really had me smiling in places

Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care

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554

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#2676239

Review of Snow Fairy

Review by Acme

Rated: E

| (4.5)

An Acme Review

This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it!

What are my overall impressions?
You hooked me with a fantastic first line, bursting with imagery

The whole story is wonderful, as I am a huge fan of snow... and a little bit of magic too! This delightful story will appeal to readers of all ages. You have a natural talent for vivid imagery, great pace, and good dialogue. The only suggestions I can make are on a purely technical basis, as you are obviously a very talented story teller.

What are my favourite parts?
Your building and development of all the characters, whether major (Holly), or minor (the Boy), was beautifully done; you added a real depth to them which really enhanced the story

What are my suggestions?
I would suggest you adding 'fantasy' to your genre choices for this magical tale.

Exclamation marks lose their impact if used too frequently; you may want to re-edit and remove some from the text, eg,

“What are you doing?!” Holly cried.

- here, we know she 'cried' out, and you have already closed the sentence with an appropriate 'question mark' as punctuation.

“Whatever, doesn’t look like any bird I’ve ever seen,”

- semi-colon

of water from the eye dropper.. When

- three periods in an ellipsis

“I hope so[,] Buddy,”

Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care

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555

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#2667989

Review of The Test Of Courage

Review by Acme

Rated: 13+

| (4.0)

An Acme Review

This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it!

You are receiving this review as part of "Invalid Item"

What are my overall impressions?
This is a thoughtful and thought-provoking essay. You have a real talent for focusing your argument and delivering your reasoning in a considered manner. However, a little tinker in a re-edit would really enhance your delivery to your readership

What are my favourite parts?
Understanding fear by looking at courage is a really good approach - as mirroring often helps provide clarity to any philosophical argument

What are my suggestions?
You've made some good points; show them off. Visually enhancing the text will improve the readers experience of your writing. As many people don't print off work, preferring to read directly from the screen, you may want to consider double line spacing returns between paragraphs.

The site navigation pane has a great section on WritingMLHelp (in the drop down menu accessible from the 'Site Tools'). You can dress your essay up by using bold, italics, underlining sections, and a multi-tude of other tags, if you wish.

They have a strength, a resilience that so many of [us] lack.

There is nothing poetic[,] or glorious[,] or courageous[,] about death.

In today’s day and age, amidst all our obligations, societal demands and spoon fed dreams, we forget the single most important responsibility, or more aptly, the duty; to explore ourselves, to nurture our innate talents: whatever they may be.

- be wary of the demands too much punctuation can place on a sentence. Cutting out hyperbole makes sentences shorter and snappier, and makes the message hit home with more power.

only then will you find haven

- "a haven" or "heaven"

Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care

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556

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#2663432

Review of THE ROAD TO NOWHERE

Review by Acme

Rated: ASR

| (5.0)

An Acme Review

This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it!

You are receiving this review as part of "Invalid Item"

What are my overall impressions?
Just because an idea is a simple one, doesn't mean it isn't a good one. When I read this poem, I thought you expressed the idea behind it beautifully. This is a wonderful addition to Sherri's contest, and I'm so very pleased to have had the chance to read it. Traditional quatrain structure with a ABCB rhyme pattern carried the rhythm well and let your content convey its subject perfectly - lovely writing

What are my favourite parts?

I was on the road to nowhere
so I turned around and went home,

- I can't really add to that! Clear, concise and conveys the whole creation of this poem so very well

What are my suggestions?
None - Write On!

Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care

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557

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#2662754

Review of CLEOPATRA: award winner

Review by Acme

Rated: E

| (5.0)

An Acme Review

This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it!

You are receiving this review as part of "Invalid Item"

What are my overall impressions?
Undoubtably, you have written a poem about one of history's most intriguing female characters. This is a very good poem, and I can see why it has been previously awarded. The inclusion of a time-line, and political synopsis is a good idea, but slightly biased by the resources quoted (Cicero)- If one asks for an opinion from an enemy, it might be slightly jaded. Rome made no bones about its patriarchal POV, especially of Cleopatra; she was meddling in some very turbulent roman affairs. The state was coming off the back of a civil war in recent memory, a dictatorship, and an uneasy triumvirate ('board of three men', of which Lepidus was the less famous third) - it's arguable that anyone who assisted Anthony would not have just been considered an enemy of the state, but would have been derided in one of Octavian's PR assaults. And as Anthony was still the head of a notable family of nobility, it was much easier to pin the blame on her... especially with the insulted, jilted Roman wife being Octavian's sister.

What are my favourite parts?
You did a wonderful job of using poetic tools, such as the repetitious use of title in the first line of the middle stanzas - the slight alteration to each really had an impact... although, I did wonder if the lower case choice in "Queen of queens" was an intended slur to echo the disdain of the Roman matriarchs? Knowing your fastidious nature as a craftsman, I have to think it was, and I applaud you for your subtle use of satire - brilliant

What are my suggestions?
None - I found your poem made me think, consider, argue... but most of all I enjoyed the experience of reading it. Thank you for the opportunity

Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care

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558

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#2662669

Review of Ruins of the Great Library

Review by Acme

Rated: 13+

| (3.5)

An Acme Review

This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it!

You are receiving this review as part of "Invalid Item"

What are my overall impressions?
Anythink to do with the terrible events of 9/11 is going to be a difficult writing, and reading, experience. I've had the pleasure of reading this story in its early form in the Talent Pond Review Forum, and I can see you have really worked hard on it. You have enhanced it well visually, with the photograph and the WritingML, and your explanation behind the writing of it gives a good insight as to why you have approached writing it in the way you have. It's an item worth working on, but I do feel there are areas where you could re-edit to make it more cohesive, as well as structural flaws which need to be addressed.

What are my favourite parts?
The background information which you give the reader is expressed with thoughtfulness and consideration - a hard thing to do when 'living history' has such a huge emotional impact.

What are my suggestions?

Yrral, approaching a peace officer and was immediately taken to

- apprached

There are several places where you shift from present to past tense and this is very disorientating for a reader already struggling with backward printed names. If you make your writing, too difficult, it could have a knock on effect to your readerships enjoyment. If you don't want to use the forward spelling of names, make them up instead - at least that way readers wont mentally have to sound out each new character they are introduced to.

It's great that you added links to the next installment, but as a historical piece, since you have gone to so much effort in research, it's always advisable to quote your sources, as detailed in your authors note:

A great deal of research has gone into the dialogue. While I have written this story as fiction, testimonials from actual witnesses and transcripts of actual accounts have been used to keep this story historically accurate.

Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care

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559

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#2662388

Review of Night's Solace

Review by Acme

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

An Acme Review

This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it!

You are receiving this review as part of "Invalid Item"

What are my overall impressions?
I found this story stimulating as a fictional read, and equally so as a historically based one. Your opening paragraph had me hooked; you introduced the society/culture of the day, as well as introducing me to a historical period I was unfamiliar with, and all with a wonderfully developing narrative voice. Fascinated by the thoughtful links which you added at the end, I found a really good link to give me some background on your story through the construction of this facility here:

http://www.philadelphiabuildings.org/pab/app/ar_di...

For those, like me, new to this area and it's history

What are my favourite parts?
I love the informal tone of the narrative. It moves the story on well and creates an intimacy between the reader and the given POV, making the history valid and the imagery vivid - very well done

What are my suggestions?

from the moment I arrived within the daunting walls that he managed to avoid.

- there are a number of instances where the word 'that' is in there when it doesn't need to be. In this case you could dispence with it altogether, and in others you could substitute it for 'which'.

Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care

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#2661411

Review of Water, Water Everywhere!

Review by Acme

Rated: E

| (4.5)

An Acme Review

This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it!

You are receiving this review as part of "Invalid Item"

What are my overall impressions?
Oh, Sue - You find me sneaking on-line between storms in Manchester with localised flood warnings, so I really didn't need to much imagination for this wonderfully topical write - which delivers the funnies too!

What are my favourite parts?

I’m sick to death of rain.
No matter what I try,
I find it is impossible
to get my washing dry.

- nature can be so inconsiderate

- restrained anger can make the funniest comedy; just look at Basil Fawlty!

What are my suggestions?
A little tidy up on meter would make this good poem a great poem - the rhythm threw me in a couple of lines, but shouldn't take you long to fix

Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care

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561

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#2659714

Review of More Precious Than Diamonds

Review by Acme

Rated: E

| (3.0)

An Acme Review

This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it!

What are my overall impressions?
This is a good example of an inspirational opinion piece, and a good comparable excercise. I do think you need to spend some time editing to argue your case better to your readership.

What are my favourite parts?

Think for a while. What could be more precious than diamonds? - Considered and thoughtful set up for an argument

What are my suggestions?
Most of you, probably, have no idea what you’re about to read.

- As this is your 'hook' line, it pays to make it run as smoothly as possible, perhaps:

You probably have no idea what you’re about to read.

They cost a lot more than gold which weigh million times their weight

- as comparable weight is relative you should quantify this statement:

They cost a lot more than gold as a precious commodity

One thing I’m certain about is more important than carrying a bag of diamonds in your pocket. It is something even more

Fractured sentence.

In this kind of case, jewel[rie]s that contain diamond don’t really count because the kind of diamond I’m referring to is a pure one. Pure and natural diamonds are better than ones which are turned into jewel[rie]s for women to wear.

because you never know that they are just right in front of you.

- always be wary of 'that', in many cases it's a pale substitute for other words, like 'which', and in this case, 'when'

There are a lot of instances of repetition, and you should consider re-editing with a view to looking for these areas to cut.

Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care

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562

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#2659675

Review of YOU GAVE ME WINGS/LEGACY OF THE LOST

Review by Acme

Rated: ASR

| (5.0)

An Acme Review

This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it!

You are receiving this review as part of "Invalid Item"

What are my overall impressions?
Yay! Congratulations

What a wonderful celebration of your talents this is. Your poem is the best plug of all, as I really shared in your joy and giddiness at reading it.

What are my favourite parts?
Your success

What are my suggestions?
None at all - Write ON!

Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care

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563

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#2659670

Review of THE PROMISE

Review by Acme

Rated: ASR

| (5.0)

An Acme Review

This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it!

You are receiving this review as part of "Invalid Item"

What are my overall impressions?
Wow - you have powerful emotion packed behind these words and subject matter. Just comparing the first stanza to the last shows your obvious talent in making a 24 line poem tell a full story with the precision of a practiced story teller - wonderful writing

What are my favourite parts?

His list of loves found and lost
grows longer as he reaches out,
once more trying to restore his faith
in what should be a forever thing.

- this simple, yet powerful, pivotal verse really stood out for me. Your word choices are simply superb

What are my suggestions?
Just one small typo that I could see:

surrounded by brilliant light.as

Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care

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564

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#2653415

Review of Love Makes NO Sound

Review by Acme

Rated: E

| (3.5)

An Acme Review

This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it!

You are receiving this review as part of "Invalid Item"

What are my overall impressions?
This is a good story. You have created an interesting character in Mary Ellen, and have written an emotional account of her illness leading to deafness. There are structural ares of improvement which will make this story less distracting for those reading it.

What are my favourite parts?
I enjoyed the presentation of Mary Ellen's history as a series of half-drempt memories - it was a device which you used well

What are my suggestions?
There are areas where you use single return spacing between your paragraphs and dialogue - using double returns through out creates a uniformity which is more comfortable to the readers eye.

We will just have to wait and see.["]

- close all speech with quotation marks

her mother[']s hand

“don’t worry mama I’m okay["]

to be able to hear again.” “In the mean time always

- If the same person is speaking, as in this part, you don't need to close and reopen the speech marks. Normal punctuation can be used in dialogue

Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care

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565

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#2653367

Review of I HATE YOU

Review by Acme

Rated: E

| (4.5)

An Acme Review

This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it!

You are receiving this review as part of "Invalid Item"

What are my overall impressions?
Wow - you sure pack a power behind your word choices

This potent poem delivers it's subject matter very well. You have a wonderful ability to draw the reader into the narrators POV, emotions, and 'the moment'. This good poem would be great if the meter ran just that little bit smoother.

What are my favourite parts?
Traditional rhyming style poetry suits the simplicity of the emotions your narrative portrays - that's good, but my favourite part has to be the visual enhancement of the text with blue ink. Most people would assume 'red' would work with this poem, because of the relationship with 'anger' and 'passion', but the blue adds even more impact in it's icy coolness

Very well delivered.

What are my suggestions?
Conventional meter, with fixed stresses and syllabic line content, would work really well with the ABAB quatrain form you are using. It's just a personal preference though, so please feel free to ignore

Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care

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#2650355

Review of The Doll That Santa Took Away

Review by Acme

Rated: E

| (5.0)

An Acme Review
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This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it!

What are my overall impressions?
I loved this seasonal tale of family, culture, understanding and kids! It is so very well written, with stunning imagery, lovely narrative pace, and attention to details which will strike a chord with many - fab writing

What are my favourite parts?

I remembered what Mom had said about Santa taking my doll away if I didn't take care of her. I noticed she was missing a sock, and her hair was matted from too many washings. My brother had marked on her face with crayon, and some of her eyelashes were missing. I only remembered loving her, and trying to be a good mommy.

- kids are so good at making leaps in logic based on their available knowledge; you've captured that really well here, as well as providing the reader with a good insight into your character

What are my suggestions?

tore into the gifts,and a pile of paper

- spacing typo

Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care

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567

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#2649613

Review of How the Penguins Saved Christmas

Review by Acme

Rated: E

| (4.5)

An Acme Review

This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it!
Congratulations on being a Prize Catch in
GROUP
The Talent Pond (ASR)
The Talent Pond is working with you to achieve your writing goals.
#1261045 by Brooklyn

What are my overall impressions?
This is a fabulous Christmas poem

I love that you've made it your own with the attention to penguiness! Great use of simple WritingMLin enhancing the text with seasonal colours.

What are my favourite parts?
The story of penguins saving the day is a delightful comic twist on the 'Night Before Christmas'

What are my suggestions?
As this seems to a parody of the 'Night Before Christmas, you may want to have closer look at the rhythm, as some of the current lines don't work with the meter you present in the other rhyming couplets.

Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care

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568

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#2649484

Review of Ten Writing No-No's

Review by Acme

Rated: E

| (5.0)

An Acme Review

This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it!
Congratulations on being a Prize Catch in
GROUP
The Talent Pond (ASR)
The Talent Pond is working with you to achieve your writing goals.
#1261045 by Brooklyn

What are my overall impressions?
Fabulous. I can't think of anyone who would disagree with your top 10 - well written

It works well, deserves it's high placing and lovely ribbon, but I think you could say more, and go into a little more detail on some of your subjects. If not, why not provide links to other educational items, just like you did with Kiya's?

What are my favourite parts?
You've set this out to make it really easy to read, digest and refer to. In other words, clear concise, and good use of WritingML to enhance your subject matter

What are my suggestions?

Now, articles upon books upon encyclopedias exist on this subject

- it may be an 'old school' grammatical thing, but commas are ace in constructing lists

Oh, it could just be the Brit in me

Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care

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#2649010

Review of The Last Dragon

Review by Acme

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

An Acme Review

This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it!
Congratulations on being a Prize Catch in
GROUP
The Talent Pond (ASR)
The Talent Pond is working with you to achieve your writing goals.
#1261045 by Brooklyn

What are my overall impressions?
Oh, I've just been telling Brooke all about how sentimental I've been tonight about Scotland, and here's Loch Ness for me in this fabulous write. I love the way you have told a mythological tale, from the perspective of the myth itself

What are my favourite parts?

The only company she has now is her reflection upon the water. Her skin is gray, her neck is long, her scales shine like the color ribbon that crosses the sky after it waters. Her eyes are large, brown and gentle. She can dive to the very bottom of the Loch, but she can't find her way to the sea.

- I could really see this scene. You really do have a wonderful talent for beautiful, vivid imagery

What are my suggestions?
Just a couple of easy fix typos:

eventually they moved to[o] far away to even mindspeak

on the Loch. They came in large groups, floating on giant wooden leaves. They hunted the fish of the Loch[e] and

Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care

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570

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#2648945

Review of Water Water

Review by Acme

Rated: E

| (5.0)

An Acme Review
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This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it!
Thank you for entering:
Invalid Item
This item number is not valid.
#1305372 by Not Available.

What are my overall impressions?
When I opened up the bitem link I smiled from ear to ear; just like this

. Top notch delivery of a top notch prompt friendly poem. I liked the nod to the original in the opening lines and your wonderful, and destructive, imagery surrounding the water - wincing comedy; well done.

What are my favourite parts?
Well, I'd love to be profound and say it was your commitment to your subject matter, your emotive and compelling narrative... but, it wasn't. You know it was the visual impact of the piece and the cracking comic delivery - Ace

What are my suggestions?
None - write on!

Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care

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571

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#2648668

Review of For You And Yours

Review by Acme

Rated: E

| (4.5)

An Acme Review

This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it!

What are my overall impressions?
Hey there; this poem is well written and uses some powerful language, but you do need to consider altering the rating as that power translates to material which younger readers might not be comfortable with - see: "Content Rating System (CRS)"

for guidance

What are my favourite parts?

I don't look for consent
No approval, just a breath in life
Every choice I make IS MINE

- you have a talent for putting across narrative voice in a strong and compelling manner

What are my suggestions?
Just to look at the possibility that your rating may be better as ASR with regard to:

The item may contain very mild slang curse words (dang, darn, etc.) or mild derogatory words (idiot, jerk, etc.). Horror and violence may exist at an extremely mild level, but does not exceed moderate levels.

- the rating system is not there to censor your delivery, just to equip your readers with knowledge before they progress.

Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care

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572

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#2645519

Review of As I was Passing Home

Review by Acme

Rated: ASR

| (4.0)

An Acme Review

This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it!
Thank you for your entry in
Invalid Item
This item number is not valid.
#1341392 by Not Available.

What are my overall impressions?
You used the prompt well. Unfortunately, the rules clearly state for this round that Free Verse poetry was required. Free Verse is denoted by a lack of recognised structure and rhyme pattern. Free Verse uses all the other poetic devices available to a poet, such as alliteration, poetic language and concentrated, vivid imagery. Rhyme can be used, but only where it doesn't follow a set structure, or pattern.

What are my favourite parts?
Good imagery peppers this piece; I especially liked the following:

Raised she her pink umbrella, smiling, sighed,
That Darkness only wins should not we try.
As for the rain the shield she held repelled the
slightest chance her fire should not stay dry,
Raised she her pink umbrella.

What are my suggestions?
No other suggestions than those previously mentioned

Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care

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573

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#2644000

Review of You Can't Go Home Again

Review by Acme

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

An Acme Review

This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it!

What are my overall impressions?
I was so very moved by the vivid imagery of this childhood home and the memories it held - so sad, so happy, and so very realistic in your descriptions of them. You used some wonderfully poetic language, and manipulated my reading pace perfectly. Your talent as a writer truly amazes me

What are my favourite parts?

The old saying is wrong, you can go home again. It just hurts too much to know that going home can't fix anything.

- Thought provoking and poignant; good writing through out

What are my suggestions?

I always disregarded it as trite,

- 'regarded' - looked upon as

Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care

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574

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14 days may be credited.

#2643709

Review of Community Involvement

Review by Acme

Rated: ASR

| (4.0)

An Acme Review
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it!
This is 1 of 5 reviews you won in the WDC Season Ticket event

What are my overall impressions?
You do an awful lot in this community, so it's only right that you display that involvement, as it shows those around you of the supportive and community minded nature which you posses

What are my favourite parts?
Lists of Groups, c-Notes, Campfire - this place shows your diversity and willingness to try new things

What are my suggestions?
Push yourself just that little more, and get other people involved in these ideas and groups you've started; it would be a shame to let all this effort go to waste.

Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care

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575

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#2643693

Review of Cuentos

Review by Acme

Rated: E

| (3.5)

An Acme Review
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it!
This is 1 of 5 reviews you won in the WDC Season Ticket event

What are my overall impressions?
lol - as you don't seem to be one of life's natural 'finishers', I thought it might be fairer of me to concentrate on your fabulous organisational skills, instead of your works in progress. You have created a really good workshop space here, one which should enable you to forge your fabulous imagination into some really solid items for you portfolio. Time is so cruel; we have great idea, great intentions, and then things can get left by the way-side. Here you can roughly chop, edit, and create with no constraints; so do so! All those 'started' and never finished things? Throw them out, and make room for the new and completed

What are my favourite parts?
Your enthusiasm is evident. You have the 'wish' to create 'BIG' things, and now all you need is the stubbornness to see them through. This looks like it really could be the place to do it

What are my suggestions?
Be brutal: what is the point of having a 'novel' created October 2006, which you 'wish' to be finished? Either do it, or boot it.

Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care

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