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 |   Theses are my thoughts and ramblings as I forge my way through this thing they call life. |
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These are my thoughts and ramblings as I forge my way through this thing they call Life. I blog with these groups:     "Blogging Circle of Friends "  [E] 
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| Happy Sunday everyone!! I was watching Oprah's Super Soul Sunday and she was interviewing Elie Weisel, the author or Night. He is a Holocaust survivor and an activist. I wanted to share a few quotes to get us thinking and remembering that we are all the same - humans. Colour, ethnicity, gender and sexual orientations should not matter. We should be united as we each matter. No one group matters more than any other... but sometimes society forgets that, hence the current 'Black Lives Matter' - this is not exclusionary, it is merely reminding people that black lives matter, too I have read a few excellent articles that I will include here as well for your perusal and as a reminder to myself. First Elie Weisel's quotes: The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference. We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. There may be times when we are powerless to prevent injustice, but there must never be a time when we fail to protest. http://www.biography.com/people/elie-wiesel-9530714 http://fusion.net/story/170591/the-next-time-someone-says-all-lives-matter-show-... http://imgur.com/a/YkDVQ Love this lady: http://news.nationalpost.com/news/world/u-s-cop-on-recent-shootings-how-dare-you... 30 Day Blogging Challenge The Sunday News! It's been a rough week here in the US, and a rough month in Europe...instead of the typical Sunday prompt where I come up with a newsworthy item to discuss, I think now's the right time to focus on some good news. Do a little bit of lookin' around, and share with us something positive happening. Now I like this version of the prompt... Canadian excitement for Milos Raonic and his first men's final at Wimbledon. Great to see and be proud of his accomplishments. https://ca.news.yahoo.com/fans-gather-watch-canadian-milos-raonic-play-first-080... Others step up to help a lady who really can't afford this... besides her dog is half blind... it is not gong to do anything. It is also her first offence... a warning would be enough. https://ca.news.yahoo.com/calgary-community-offers-to-pay-seniors-dog-170040402.... Just a little fun: https://ca.news.yahoo.com/video/jets-play-tic-tac-toe-084600919.html  Love Louder - Amplifying My Life I have decided as part of my blog to comment on each of Preston Smiles's ways to Love Louder. He has written an intriguing little book or 33 Ways To Amplify Your Life. The full title is Love Louder: 33 Ways To Amplify Your Life. Day 12 - Ask And It Is Given: The Art Of Asking For Help "Because we live in a world that rewards the do-it-yourself, self sufficient mentality, the idea of asking for help can be challenging at the least. But turning up the volume on your life requires mastering the art of asking for help." Asking for help is not a sign of weakness. This is something I must remind myself. We must not be afraid of rejection or looking bad. Reaching out for what you want, asking for help propels your life forward. "It takes a massive amount of courage and vulnerability to ask for help, and that no matter what you desire on the planet, it involves people." This is contrary to the "bootstrapping do-it-yourself mentality being propagated around the world". According to Preston Smiles, we "never do anything without the help of others." And remember, It's okay to not know everything. "The key is for us to seek support from those who've accessed something we'd like to experience more of in our lives." Seek out others who have the know-how in an area we want to improve in... there are people out there that will not only help you, but will go the extra mile to support you. Before you ask for help: 1. Admit you need help. Remember you can't do it all or know it all. 2. Identify specifically what help you need. The more detailed the better. 3. Identify who is skilled in that area. My ex was very much in the do-it-yourself camp. It helped that he had researched and learned how to fix cars and computers... he was the go to person for a lot of these issues at work and among his circle of friends. My worry is who do I go to know? Will he still help me? He has, but I need to pay. He charges the friend rate, but I used to get these things done without charge as I was family. I hate asking for help, but I know I can't do things on my own. I need others. I need their support and in return I can give my support and appreciation. I am grateful for my family and friends who are their for me. I am blessed in that way. I just need to ask... they don't know I need the help if I don't ask. |
30 Day Blogging Challenge Creation Saturday! Have you ever had to reinvent yourself personally, professionally, or otherwise? How did you go about it? Trying to reinvent myself.... I guess you could say I am trying to do that now as I make my way through Preston Smiles's book Love Louder: 33 Ways to Amplify Your Life. Each day I am stepping into and reawakening things I let go of in my life. Things I put aside to become part of a couple.... things I should never have let go of and now I see the error in doing just that.... so in reclaiming who I am, I am essentially remaking myself... and I am hoping that by doing that I can reinvent all areas of my life - including my professional one = as teacher and writer. I feel I am always in process as life is a journey. Blog City – Day 853 Oh my it's Saturday and it's my grandson's 12th birthday. We're going zip lining together Let's reminisce about our childhood birthdays. What was your favorite birthday year? Did you do theme parties? Or go places? I only had one big birthday party. I was six and I had enough friends their to fill the whole dining room table. I don't remember much about it... I only remember because of the pictures. I do remember my friend, Sally's birthdays. Her birthday is in October when the weather in New Liskeard was still decent. Her mother always make a cake with money wrapped in aluminum foil! It was the best. I also remember a birthday cake... not sure who it was for... but my friend Herbie had gotten up on a chair to admire it. His hands were on the edge of the table balancing over it... when his five year old self face planted in the whole thing. It was hilarious. My babysitter, Mrs. Cameron handled it all so calmly. She had five children of her own and Herbie was her nephew. I think I was seven then. Love Louder - Amplifying My Life I have decided as part of my blog to comment on each of Preston Smiles's ways to Love Louder. He has written an intriguing little book or 33 Ways To Amplify Your Life. The full title is Love Louder: 33 Ways To Amplify Your Life. Day 11 - Stop Trying To Make Everyone Happy "People pleasing is a dangerous self inflicted disease that kills dreams and sabotages relationships." I have lived my life as a people pleaser... trying to be the best daughter so as not to upset my mother, trying to keep a harmonious marriage by not saying or doing anything to rock the boat and being overly sorry and apologetic when I did cross the line of \unacceptable' in another person's eyes. But what has it got me? Feelings of smallness, a crushed self esteem and a broken marriage. Certainly not a fully lived life... I feel like a shadow of my former self... the one I pulled together when I became an adult on my own... and my mother went on medication for depression. So things need to change and believe they will. I even told my mother to 'not tell me what to do' one morning when she was in one of her anxiety plunges.... I felt really bad at the time, but later she told me she was really proud of me... that I could stand up and say that... she wished she could do that too... lately she's dealing with a breakup as well. It has chipped away at her own confidence. So who are the people pleasers? Well, Preston Smiles says you are more likely suffering with people pleasing if: 1. You go out of your way to make other people happy at your expense. 2. Your choices and actions are based on what others may think, want or expect from you. I would be paralyzed with indecision if I could not figure out the way my husband would want something done. It was his way and no other way would do. 3. You constantly put other's needs ahead of your own. 4. You are always looking for ways to fit in. I am an introvert by nature, but I have learned to be more extroverted to fit in... I want others to like me and it bothers me to know someone doesn't. "People pleasers often hold back their true feelings because they don't want to offend or rock the boat." This is so true of my relationship with my ex. I pushed my feelings so far under I did not even know how to read them anymore and he would get upset when I could not express myself and tell him what I was thinking and feeling. I didn't know. His silence in waiting for an answer would only make me want to implode and become smaller. Smiles says "when we take care of ourselves first, we're actually taking care of everyone else at the same time. We can't possibly give to others from our cup if we haven't been filling it first." I know this to be so true... on an intellectual level... but on an emotional level it is a bit harder to put into practice. I find I have less difficulty with others who I am not in an intimate relationship with... with my mother there is an unconditional love that sustains me and provides an invisible security net... it is also better that she is on a medication that regulates her moods. Depression is not living in our house anymore.... although I am excellent at reading her emotions and giving space when it is needed. Society also holds this one up for mothers... and it is often what they use as a filter for what a good mother should be... but to be a good mother, you need to give time to yourself. A good mother is one who is there for her kids, and has the ability to do so because she has taken time to recharge and fill her own cup. There is nothing wrong in that... in fact, it should be the right thing to do. Daddies need to do their part as well and women need to let them. They are adults and together you are parents raising the best kids... no one person needs to take the job. Those children will be better for it if they have both parents involved. Okay, sorry. I got a little off topic, I think... the thing we all need to remember is that YOU WILL NEVER PLEASE EVERYONE. There will always be naysayers and haters. We are human... and many people loved to find fault in others... probably because of their own insecurities. So stop caring what others think and focus on what you think, what is right for you... and you will be stronger and happier for it. Preston says "a part of loving louder is letting go of the need to take care of everyone else and focus on what you want. You cannot turn the volume up on the amount to love you give to others until you are wiling to turn in up first for yourself." I found as I pushed my own emotions down to not offend my ex, I lost focus on my own feelings and how they needed to be expressed in a healthy way. I am not always a happy go lucky person, sometimes I am serious, sometimes I am sad... sometimes I am angry... and I do not need to be told to smile. To feel the love you have to feel all your emotions, not just the good ones... the pleasant ones. And if someone else can handle that then... let them go. They are so not worth the energy to stress over. I refuse to be constantly drained and anxious about getting my own needs met and ultimately won't have the energy to truly share all of myself with the world. From all of this resentment and pain is slowly killing the people pleaser. Here is Preston Smiles's prescription for his People Pleaser Recovery Program: 1. When did you first notice it? Your first memories of people pleasing; where did this need come from, what hole were you attempting to fill. For me it was living in a household with a mother who was dealing with depression that went unchecked until I was 16. I tried to be the perfect daughter so that I didn't rock the boat, but what I found was that there was no pleasing her... no matter what I did is was not good enough. 2. Catch it is the moment. Be aware of when you are being a people pleaser. See where you bend to the needs of others, what patterns emerge... Also take stock of your mood after certain interactions... I used to feel small and useless. Angry at myself, but feeling stuck. Emotions range from anger, frustration, sadness after you have had contact with someone, check in and see if you were people pleasing... sometimes we don't even realize we are doing it. Awareness is key. 3. Create healthy boundaries and practice keeping them. "We are what we continually do. Whatever we habitually practice, we become skilled at." Journal it. Write down what is okay with you and what is not. What are your deal breakers. Practice speaking up. Remember small steps lead to big change, so start finding small ways to reclaim your needs and desires. The bottom line is that people pleasing is not a healthy choice for any of us. It is stressful and draining... I have high blood pressure now probably because of it. "It's your job to do and be what makes your smile, to express yourself from the fullest version of you." We are all going to be judged, just accept that and shake it off. Get on with what's important in our lives. And to hit that home on a music note: I love this video. Just be you and don't care what others are going think. Shake it off and live your life. A few lyrics: I stay up too late, got nothing in my brain That's what people say mmm, that's what people say mm I go on too many dates, but I can't make 'em stay At least that's what people say mmm, that's what people say mmm But I keep cruising, can't stop, won't stop moving It's like I got this music in my body and it's gonna be alright 'Cause the players gonna play, play, play, play, play And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate Baby, I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake I shake it off, I shake it off Heartbreakers gonna break, break, break, break, break And the fakers gonna fake, fake, fake, fake, fake Baby, I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake I shake it off, I shake it off I'll never miss a beat, I'm lightning on my feet And that's what they don't see mmm, that's what they don't see mmm I'm dancing on my own (dancing on my own), I'll make the moves up as I go (moves up as I go) And that's what they don't know mmm, that's what they don't know mmm Full lyrics: https://play.google.com/music/preview/Ttxvexczzhjvhmdpgy4gvp6ht3m?lyrics=1&utm_s... #LOVELOUDERCHALLENGE Write a letter to someone you've been trying to please for a long time. Pour out all your feelings about them and let them know how you feel about trying to please them. Write down everything... end the letter with how you intend to be from now on. When it feels complete, share the letter by reading it to someone you trust who is completely objective. After you have done this tear the letter up into tiny bits and throw it away. This process is for you... not for the person the letter was written about. |
30 Day Blogging Challenge Fun Fact Friday! On this day in 1969, the United States Patent Office issued a patent for the game Twister. Do you and/or your family still play traditional board games? Is there a favorite in your group? I enjoy board games... but I don't have to many family members that would play with me.... I guess I could ask. They probably would if given the option. I remember playing Balderdash and Twister with my best friends in high school... we had a great time. I have also played trivia games with friends and had fabulous times. Last NaNoWriMo, our half time party was at the Adventurer's Guild - it is one of those places that serves treats and coffee and even a few alcoholic beverages (if they have a liquor licence) and for a small fee you can play any of their board games. Some people go there regularly to play Dungeons and Dragons types of games - it was cool to see. My little group of writing misfits played Jenga - who knew how stressful that game can be... but we had an amazing time. We also played a word game... that I so got massacred on, but had a riot playing. I wish I could remember the name of it. I would love to go there again, but I would need to get a group together to make it more fun. In my current novel I have my characters go to that same place for, at least monthly, get togethers with their group of friends. These types of places seem to be taking off in my area. Kitchener has at least 3 places I have heard of and Guelph has 2 that I know of... the Adventurer's Guild has been around since... July 22, 2014... it used to be the old used book store my Stepfather liked to go to. http://www.adventurersguildcafe.com/#about As a teacher I have found a few games that help students with special needs learn social skills... and I have also had a game day once a week to teach turn taking and good game playing with my aspergers / high anxiety students. They loved it and so did my EA and I. We usually played Farkle and another dice game. Both were excellent at teaching strategy as well. I have since bought both games for my home collection but have yet in interest anyone in playing with me. I also have a mini version of Farkle in my purse... because I can play it alone. Blog City – Day 852 Let's try writing in a very confined space: A bathtub story. Your character/ or you are going to stay in this single, relatively confined space for your entry. Do you think you could write a good story with such restrictions placed on you? Have fun! Just thinking about this give the heavi-jeavies. When I think about where I write... it is always in an open space. I did not even like to write in the space spare room because the extra clutter of bookshelves and another computer and desk was too encroaching. Right now I write in the biggest room in the basement... the rec. room. I also write at the dining room table where I can see outside as well as into the living room and kitchen... open concept is my thing. I like writing outside and in restaurants and cafe's. The Kitchener Public library is also a great place... up on the second floor where I can look out the huge window out onto the street and down into the magazine / cafe area of the library's main floor. To sit in confined space I would not be able to use my laptop - it is a 17 inch. My Surface would be better, but I think I would have to resort to a notebook and even then.... I don't even want to think about it. I think my thoughts would reflect the space, kind of like my emotions of a sunny day or on an overcast day... I would be cramped and my writing would take on that feel.... I may try though... but not for my other blogs. I may come back to add more to this.... Love Louder - Amplifying My Life I have decided as part of my blog to comment on each of Preston Smiles's ways to Love Louder. He has written an intriguing little book or 33 Ways To Amplify Your Life. The full title is Love Louder: 33 Ways To Amplify Your Life. Day 10 - How Does It Feel: What You Put In Is What You Get Out "There is nothing more important that how you feel. Those who have their health have everything." "Most people don't do well because they don't feel well. they don't have the vitality to see their dreams through." We all know that junk food and excess does not do our bodies any good. It often takes a health scare to get people motivated enough to do something about their situation. When we are on the brink of demise... we are then ready to take a stand and make a shift in our eating and exercising programs. "Loving louder includes loving our bodies enough to be proactive and fill our tanks with food that fuels us, instead of waiting for disaster to strike." Real food actually gives us energy. It does not leave us sluggish and rundown. Preston says there "is nothing more important than how we feel from moment to moment, and those momentary feelings are greatly influenced by the food we use to fuel our bodies." I would add that is also influenced by the amount of activity we engage in as well. A walk can revive me when I am feeling sluggish. I may still be tired when I get back after an hour and a half walk, but the tiredness is different. It is from the workout, not the sluggishness of doing nothing. A day of doing nothing leaves me wanting to do nothing... and it also has me turning to unhealthy food choices or eating when I am really bored and not hungry at all. Emotional eating is something that has plagued me as my marriage has crumbled. I have passed the number I never wanted to see... and gotten up into the numbers ten above it. I refuse to let myself go higher. I need to take control and make more conscious choices. I need to listen to my body. If I am tired, go to bed. If I am sluggish, take a walk around the block and see if I perk up. If I am hungry, take the time to consider what I want before going into the kitchen... that way I can avoid binging on crap as I try to find something to satisfy me. If I crave a treat, have it, but have only a small portion and savour the experience - don't wolf it down and overindulge. Stay active. Daily walks, swimming, riding my bike... these are all things I can do and I enjoy doing them. Even getting up to stretch after a writing session. Yoga is a wonderful thing... when I do it slowly and stay mindful in the process. As Preston Smiles says, "We owe it to ourselves to consume things that give us energy, instead of processed junk that drains us." As I read this I am also thinking about consumption in more ways than just food... anything we engage in is consumed - what we read, who we interact with and what activities we do. Consider those things as well and make those choices conscious. Ask 'Does this serve me me?' #LOVELOUDERCHALLENGE Be mindful of what you put in your body's "fuel tank" today. Before you put any food or drink in your mouth ask yourself: DOES THIS SERVE ME? Awareness is the first step in creating a healthy, happy YOU. |
30 Day Blogging Challenge The Wildcard Round! Today's winner, as chosen by Virtual Dice from all eligible entries at some point over the weekend, will receive a News MB. What's the first big news story you remember being aware of as a kid? (For reference, mine I think was John Lennon's murder, and I was five years old...but a one-sentence answer isn't a blog entry .) As a kid I was pretty oblivious. I lived in a small northern Ontario farming community. The biggest thing I knew about was Quebec Separatism stuff... and that was only from the adults that heard it. Oh and the forest fire that took out Cobalt in 1977. I think there was even a write up in the Readers Digest. This was a big thing because it effected people I knew. Our gym teacher lost his house and everything he owned. I remember the school taking up a collection for his family. It started with a cigarette butt thrown carelessly into a pile of trash! And people wonder why I glare at them when they toss their cigarette butts away. It also got my grandmother talking of her own experiences when she was a child. The fear and helplessness she and her own family felt living in the middle of nowhere with no access to transportation to get safely away. She survived two such fires. http://www.nugget.ca/2011/05/24/terrible-fires-shaped-tri-towns-john-r-hunts-on-... http://www.ottertooth.com/Temagami/History/fire-1977.htm This is an article about the 1922 fire... my grandma was in the farms by the Quebec border. http://salvationist.ca/2012/10/remembering-the-great-fire-of-1922/ Love Louder - Amplifying My Life I have decided as part of my blog to comment on each of Preston Smiles's ways to Love Louder. He has written an intriguing little book or 33 Ways To Amplify Your Life. The full title is Love Louder: 33 Ways To Amplify Your Life. Day 9 - Embrace The Breakdown: Turning Own Wounds Into Wisdom "In life there will be moments of pain and what seem to be insurmountable obstacles, but when you embrace those breakdowns, you can turn your wounds into wisdom." Things can be difficult and seem darkly disturbing, but the "first step n turning your wounds into wisdom is switching your focus from what's not working to what is." There is no point in obsessing over the situation... instead, turn that same energy into focusing on a solution. Aim our energies toward what we desire and learn from those mistakes. Preston Smiles gives five ways to handle a breakdown: 1.Don't blame anyone outside yourself, no matter how severe it is. Blaming stops the healing and makes you a victim of the person you are blaming... don't give them that power. 2.Don't beat yourself up for feeling what you feel or doing what you did, it only makes things worse. 3.Don't overthink or analyze it or your will drive yourself crazy. Instead tell yourself: "I accept this pain, for it is here to teach me something I need to know." Give yourself permission to feel what you feel... let the feelings have a vent. 4.Don't try to numb the pain by distracting yourself with alcohol or food or whatever your choose to hide behind. 5.After you have let yourself fully feel the experience of the breakdown, figure out what you desire out of the situation and what that will take from you to achieve it. What can you learn? What can you take away from this experience? For those dealing with a breakup.... remember the good times, forgive the bad, and begin to send him/her well wishes. "Some of the most painful situations produce some of the most beautiful experiences." "The practice is to see the opportunity in the midst of the pain." Let the pain be your teacher and instead of letting the situation break you, let it make you. Have the experiences motivate you and inspire you to look a little deeper... and you may find the key to your freedom. A song that would help me remember this would be: Kutless - That's What Faith Can Do Overcome the odds You don't have a chance (That's what faith can do) When the world says you can't It'll tell you that you can I've seen dreams that move the mountains Hope that doesn't ever end Even when the sky is falling And I've seen miracles just happen Silent prayers get answered Broken hearts become brand new That's what faith can do That's what faith can do Even if you fall sometimes You will have the strength to rise full lyrics: https://play.google.com/music/preview/Trxhmwayuf2c55mvoj6h4pbwe4i?lyrics=1&utm_s... |
30 Day Blogging Challenge War Chest Wednesday! A prompt from a previous challenger... Write about your fears...fears that you have overcome, and fears which still exist within you. This is a good topic but my head is killing me and making thoughts difficult. So tonight I will keep this short and sweet... I have a lot of fears. I know many of them are just in my head and if I took them head on I would be better for it. When I need to find courage I listen to this song by Kerrie Roberts: Love Louder - Amplifying My Life I have decided as part of my blog to comment on each of Preston Smiles's ways to Love Louder. He has written an intriguing little book or 33 Ways To Amplify Your Life. The full title is Love Louder: 33 Ways To Amplify Your Life. Day 8 - The Taste Test "Language has the power to transform. It's how we express our thoughts and feelings, but most people don't realize their language is a huge barrier to their freedom.... How we speak things is a window into our view of reality." Many have heard the phrase 'change your thoughts, change your life'. Well, Preston takes that a step further and says, "A change of language can be the gateway to changing your thoughts. By consistently replacing dis-empowering language with empowering language, we can transform our lives drastically." "Every thought, statement, and feeling is creative in nature: therefore we are always creating our current reality with the language we choose moment to moment." The idea is to "create by design, concsiously choosing the language that leads to transforming our thoughts." We tell ourselves stories in our lives. We need to craft these stories to create a positive reality and attract more of the same into your life. Does that make sense? "The more we obsess about what's not working, the more things won't work. the more we use language of positivity and love, the more our energy will attract that into our space." Stop talking like a victim. Instead of 'I hope', 'I'll try' and 'I have to' say 'I WILL' 'I CHOSE TO' and 'I DESIRE'. Be conscious of your words - they make up your reality. #LOVELOUDERCHALLENGE Speak with reverence and pride. Use the language of champions and take your power back. Take note of how many times you use the word 'can't' or statements that immediately disempower you or another person. Find ways to shift to more empowering language. Instead of 'I can't because I don't have time.' say 'I choose not to, because I'm committed to focusing my time on other things.' As I write this I am dealing with a wicked migraine... which I will soon have underhand... but for now I need to get this blog down and hope it make some semblance of sense. I am not even sure what the taste test has to do with this topic... beyond the use of your mouth. |
| 30 Day Blogging Challenge Talk Tuesday! How hard is it for you to get back into the swing of things after a long weekend? I think it is a little easier if the extended day is Friday, like it was here in Canada... Having a Monday off is still wonderful, but I find it throws things off for me... but that could also be the end of the school year as well. Summer holidays have started for the children so I am without daily supply calls. I only supplied half a day last week. My summer routine has not yet taken hold and Life has got a little quieter -- and it is harder to remember what day it is. Not a problem unless you have a doctor's appointment and have to be somewhere at a specific time. As it is I am feeling a little foggy this morning. It is hard to concentrate... but that could also be the heat. Today will have a humidex of 35 Celcius, I heard... a far cry from Canada Day's barely 20 degrees Celsius with chilly damp, rainy breezes. Hope everyone transitions back okay today. Love Louder - Amplifying My Life I have decided as part of my blog to comment on each of Preston Smiles's ways to Love Louder. He has written an intriguing little book or 33 Ways To Amplify Your Life. The full title is Love Louder: 33 Ways To Amplify Your Life. Day 7 - The Story of Two Wolves A Cherokee elder told his grandchildren, "There is a fight going on inside me. It's a terrible fight! And it's between two wolves. One wolf represents fear, anger, envy, sorrow, and resentment. The other wolf stands for joy, peace, love, hope, and kindness. This same fight is going on inside of you and every other person too." The children ask, "But Grandfather, which wolf will win?" After a pause, he tells them, "The one I feed." I love this story. I have heard it before. So the question is which wolf are you feeding? We, as humans, tend to lean towards the more negative... Preston Smiles believes this is because we are hardwired, from caveman days, to notice and pay more attention to potential threats than positive thoughts. "Paying attention to the negative is what allowed us to survive as a species." To solve this he suggests turning to gratitude to turn your negative thoughts into positive ones. As soon as a negative thought comes up, you redirect it to a thought about something you are grateful for... this allows you to train your brain to look for the good in every situation and not to identify with the negative. It is important to remember that "our thoughts are not facts and that we always have a choice of what to focus on." Our job is to be an observer of our thoughts and to consciously choose which one to accept and which ones to push away. #LOVELOUDERCHALLENGE 1.Be an observer of your thoughts this week. Pay attention to patterns in your thoughts and what continually comes up. 2.Direct your thoughts into something you do want to think about... consciously feeding the wolf of love. Put a positive spin on your thoughts. Gratitude is the easiest place to start as we can all find something to be grateful for.... even if it just being alive in that moment. So instead of "I'm broke. I can't pay my bills."... redirect it to: "I may not have all the money I would like to have right now, but I'm blessed to have the opportunity to create it." "Night is coming. It's not what happens, it's what you do about what happens. The challenge is to do different things with the same circumstances. You can't get rid of the night, but you can buy a blanket, go indoors, or start a fire. Are you prepared?" Make the best of any situation, whether it is good or bad. The situation itself is not good or bad... that is just our perception of it... how are you going to interpret it and what are you going to do about it? |
30 Day Blogging Challenge Motivational Monday! Rube Goldberg was a cartoonist and inventor, and he was born on this day back in 1883. He's best known for creating complicated drawings and gadgets that perform mundane tasks. Tell us about a time where you intentionally made something harder on yourself to do...be it a task, a project, or even an interaction with someone (if applicable). What made you do it, and how did you get through it? First off - Happy July 4 to my American friends! I've enjoyed the gidgets and gadgets Rube Goldberg created. I have also enjoyed a few youtube videos of some who follow in his footsteps... but it is not something I would be finding myself doing... I don't think anyway, but necessity is the mother of invention and all that... who knows. Discuss a time when I intentionally made something harder on yourself to do... I think, it would have to be in terms of interacting with others. I tend to let my fears build up over a situation and try to avoid it as long as possible before having to force myself to face the music, so to speak. Sometimes these interacts go quite well... all my fear and worry for nothing, except to raise my blood pressure and take more years of my life. Other times the interactions don't go so well... and they fester and crumble. Hence my marriage.... I often see myself as a sabotager - one who sees my life going well and thinking I don't deserve it so I sabotage it... I do not do this consciously, but when I reflect back over many of these interactions I can see a pattern I don't like... I am trying to change that about myself. I know I deserve better... hence reading and following the tenets of Love Louder: 33 Ways to Amplify Your Life. Intellectually, I know what to do, but I cannot seem to emotionally motivate myself to act... and be proactive versus reactive. Love Louder - Amplifying My Life I have decided as part of my blog to comment on each of Preston Smiles's ways to Love Louder. He has written an intriguing little book or 33 Ways To Amplify Your Life. The full title is Love Louder: 33 Ways To Amplify Your Life. Day 6 - The 'F' Word! Forgiveness "There is no enemy more fierce, harsh, and utterly ruthless than the one living inside our own heads. We hold ourselves in mental and emotional prisons for years, over something we've done or something that has been done to us. Tapping into the practice of forgiveness is powerful medicine for the journey of self-love and healing." According to Preston Smiles, the key to loving louder is forgiving yourself and those who have hurt you. Holding the pain and resentment does more damage to you than it does to the other person. I have heard it compared to taking poison and expecting the other person to die. "It takes courage to forgive those who may have harmed us, but we don't forgive people because we're weak, we forgive because we're compassionate enough to know that we all make mistakes." Forgiveness does not mean forgetting. It is a process of releasing the hate and negative energy that binds us in that time and place. It releases us, from holding us back, and it let's us move forward in peace. "Forgiveness is a journey that takes time and effort, so don't condemn yourself for feeling what you feel.... the more you open up your heart to compassion, the more you begin to realize that most injustices come for a place of hurt within the wrongdoer and the only way to heal it is love." Anger and thoughts of revenge will eventually turn to love and compassion... but it takes a lot of time and effort. It is important to remember that "those in the most pain tend to cause it for others, and instead of judging and punishing them, we should offer love and compassion." The Course in Miracles states, "All attack is a cry for help." Like a cornered animal, reacting out of fear. The 'I'll get them before they get me' mentality. Consider the bully, that person probably grew up in rough environment... They have seen nothing, but what they have learned. The cycle continues... showing love and compassion shows them another way. It is up to them to take your reactions and either change or walk away. In my own life I have found that being kind to a bully pisses them off as you are not reacting the way they expect. They may come around or they may just move on to someone who will give them the reaction they want... but you will be free of their tyranny and feel okay with how you handled the situation. "Forgiveness doesn't excuse what happened: it prevents what happened from destroying your heart." "Hurt people hurt people. That's how pain patterns get passed on, generation after generation. Break the chain today. Meet anger with sympathy, contempt with compassion, cruelty with kindness, greet grimace with smiles, forgive and forget about finding fault, Love is the weapon of the future." --Yehuda Berg Think of the kind of world we could have if everyone did that? #LOVELOUDERCHALLENGE Make a list of everything and everyone you haven't forgiven. Then chose one and repeat with love in your heart "I forgive you for what you've done." Continue to say it until you can truly understand it from a place of compassion. Remember, we all make mistakes and we are all doing the best we can in this world. |
30 Day Blogging Challenge The Sunday News! Washington, DC is reviving a campaign to become the 51st state in the union, and if successful the area's name could be changed to New Columbia. It's important to note that DC was established to exist outside of the borders of any state in an effort to not favor the Capitol's home state over any other in the country. Should the government allow DC to become a state or function like one? And if you do not reside in the US, but your nation's capital city is within a particular area of the country, do you see that as being a detriment or an advantage to where you live? I watched that video and learned a little something. I did not realize that the people that live there don't have a say... and that to me is not fair. You all deserve a say. That is your constitutional right. Not sure how this will play out... but I am curious. Thanks for waking the issue up for me, Norb. You know I can always count on you to bing it. I am Canadian. Our capital, Ottawa is in Ontario. It is along the Ontario – Quebec border. Being a bilingual country it sits within both. Ottawa in Ontario and Hull in Quebec – Hull is actually a one part of the city of Gatineau. When I was a kid I would hear Ottawa - Hull, but in the last few years I am hearing more Ottawa - Gateneau. That sounds better. I have a feeling they use that name more now because the name Hull was too close to Hell... And given English / French relations... and the occasional Quebec separatist campaign that ran very hot in the 70's when I was a kid.... Well, enough of that... http://www.kanada-ontario.de/en/ottawa_hull/ http://www.gatineau.ca/portail/default.aspx?c=en-CA&p=histoire_cartes_statistiqu... It is a beautiful area. I am not big on politics, but I can see why the States would want to keep Washington DC as separate from any particular State due to favourtism. But I would wonder if, as its own state it would still have that favourtism aspect. Seeing that video makes me think it needs a voice. Here in Canada there is some friction between Ontario and the west and Ontario and the Maritimes. For the most part we all get along, but like any big family, there are disputes. Quebec is still not part of the Constitution that was signed in 1982. They hold themselves apart and even traveling through Quebec you feel like you are in another country as their signage is only in French, whereas in Ontario and any bordering province it is in Bilingual. This little blip is from Wikipedia: The Constitution Act, 1982 (Schedule B of the Canada Act 1982 (UK)) is a part of the Constitution of Canada. The act was introduced as part of Canada's process of patriating the constitution, introducing several amendments[1] to the British North America Act, 1867, and changing the latter's name in Canada to the Constitution Act, 1867. Elizabeth II, as Queen of Canada, brought the act into effect with a proclamation she signed in Ottawa on April 17, 1982. The Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms forms the first thirty-five sections (counting Section 16.1 and not counting Section 35) of the Constitution Act, 1982. As of 2016, the government of Quebec has never formally approved of the enactment of the act, though formal consent was never necessary.[2] Nonetheless, it has remained a persistent political issue in Quebec. The Meech Lake and Charlottetown Accords were designed to secure approval from Quebec, but both efforts failed to do so. Love Louder - Amplifying My Life I have decided as part of my blog to comment on each of Preston Smiles's ways to Love Louder. He has written an intriguing little book or 33 Ways To Amplify Your Life. The full title is Love Louder: 33 Ways To Amplify Your Life. Day 5 - From A Seed To A Tree: Growing Gains "Change is mandatory, but choosing personal growth is optional." This is so true. For Preston Smiles, "the key component to loving louder is choosing personal growth as a conscious practice." He believes we are either moving forward or backward, even if we feel stuck. His idea is that we must "choose growth consciously so that we may keep moving forward and reach our fullest potential." He defines personal growth as a "process of understanding and developing oneself to be used as a vessel for love." He believes it is important to develop a foundation of emotional, intellectual and spiritual fortitude. "It's about honoring what is while being inspired by what's in the way. Seeking out all the places where you're stilling playing small, holding back, and operating from fear." That resonates with me. Fear holds me captive a lot. I know intellectually if I take a step forward and shift beyond my fears I am capable and my fears are only that... when I give fear its power it grows like a monster; if I take action and step forward despite its growling I find freedom and power within the accomplishment and that spurns me to try again... as I learn to believe I can do it. I am playing small, instead of being an adult and getting out there onto the big field of life. He speaks of comfort zones being overgrown gardens full of rocks, weeds and debris from the areas not being tended to. He likens this to our minds, "old philosophies, attitudes, and habits must be cleared out if you want to plant the seeds of an extraordinary life." He goes on to add that our history does not determine our destiny... "it is determined by your willingness to face yourself, push past your comfort zone, and grow." We must chose to let go of the excuses and blame. There are four questions Preston gives us to consider in this journey of growth: Where are you Currently? Look at your strengths and challenge points as well as the habits that do and don't serve you. Where would you like to be? What would you like to improve about yourself and why is that important to you? Be specific in all things - when, why... and so forth. What's the vehicle that will support that? What do you need? What knowledge do you need and what experiences must you have to get you closer to your dreams. Find those resources - resources in the areas of emotional, social, intellectual and spiritual aid. What is a feasible timeline? Make a list of activities and events you hope to experience within a set amount of time. Use them as checkpoints as you move towards your goal. Remember: "Small hinges swing big doors. Small steps daily lead to big opportunities. Rome wasn't built in a day and neither will your dreams be achieved that quickly, but when you focus on small daily actions, you open yourself up to big possibilities." Looks like I have some work to do... since I have several areas the question is do I tackle them all at once or one at a time? Small steps in all areas is probably the best approach... I think. |
30 Day Blogging Challenge Creation Saturday! How are we gonna get to the bottom of this? I'm gonna try to combine 30 DBC with Blog City and see what happens.... but I am going to need a coffee first... in my WDC mug. "So how are we gonna get to the bottom of this?" Gabe said in a grizzled snarl as he rubbed his gnarled fingers over his patchy chin stubble. "Didn't figure the sprites would have cannibalistic tendencies..." Ross croaked out as he squinted at the sun glistening off the cranberry fields. Gabe grunted as he surveyed the devastation. "It's bloody appalling." "You got the bloody right. Shit, look at this mess. How we gonna.... Shit." Ross stomped at the ground dislodging the half sprite that had begun to crawl up on his boot. "They ain't all dead." "Oh, they will be. We'll have to call headquarters.... means the Men in Black haven't got the news yet." "Oh, we've got the news Mr. Torrenes." A calm baritone voice said and both men turned to see two, tall men dressed all in black approaching. Their eyes hidden behind dark sunglasses, there faces grim. "Figured this had extra terrestrial written all over it. No one in his right mind would believe we have cannibals in our midst..." "And that they're sprites." "Parasitic sprites." one of the agents clarified. "The team will take care of the cleanup. We'll do our best to get to the bottom of this...." the other agent told them. "But you ain't gonna let us know nothing, are ya?" "No, Mr. Torrenes. We aren't." the agent lifted a silver tube and pushed its side, emitting a red beam of light. Gabe and Ross froze and their faces dulled. "Seems a shame to erase their memories, K. Gabe and Ross have been helpful in the past." "Yes, well. Seems the aliens have figured that out and sent their cannibalistic sprites to take care of the Torrenes's. We need to protect our own." The other man looked saddened by that, but he nodded. K pushed the button on the side of his silver tube again. Then he spoke calmly making up some farfetched tale of drunken teenagers having stolen a neighbour's supply of barn paint and deciding to paint the fields red. "That's weak, K." "Yes, well. It will do. Besides in this area, it is plausible." The other agent chuckled as he moved off to leave the two farmers gawking open mouthed at the scene before them. "Go home, gentlemen." K told them. "Nothing much to see hear. Our men will take care of it." Gabe and Ross nodded dumbly, then turned and headed back across the field. Blog City – Day 846 Let's play with that random word generator again. http://www.textfixer.com/tools/random-words.php oh boy, they are interesting sprites, cannibals, parasitic,sun, appalling and cranberry. See the story above. Only the Men In Black can save the day. Love Louder - Amplifying My Life I have decided as part of my blog to comment on each of Preston Smiles's ways to Love Louder. He has written an intriguing little book or 33 Ways To Amplify Your Life. The full title is Love Louder: 33 Ways To Amplify Your Life. Day 4 - The Key To Living Is Giving "Giving is a selfish act. You can't give to another without giving to yourself first." My first response to this is to get up in arms and say 'No. It is not selfish to give to others', but upon reading Preston Smiles's commentary I would reconsider... but only to the wording 'selfish'. Being selfish means keeping things to yourself and yourself alone. Giving doesn't do that. Giving without expecting anything in return is not selfish... when we give do we consider the ramifications of our actions? I don't think so. I think, in giving, we are merely acting out of love and connection to others. But I suppose some give thinking they will get something - they have an ulterior motive. In all cases we do get something back from giving... it is that sense of having connected, having done something to help another and that makes us feel good about ourselves. Still I would not say that that is done as a selfish act. He quotes from Romeo and Juliet to make his point: My bounty is boundless as the sea, My love as deep; the more I give to thee, The more I have, for both are infinite. To not give, to be miserly, we shrivel as human beings. It is in us to give in order to survive. Yet I still do not deem that as a selfish act, but one of sustainability. Giving is a life enriching act would seem more a propo. He says Shakespeare is pointing out the universal law of circulation, or what he calls the "double boomerang effect, where you throw from one hand and receive someone else's throw in the other." You could also say 'what goes around comes around' - whatever you put out there, whether positive or negative, comes back to you in kind. I prefer to spread positive energy and be kind. He goes on to explain that his book is a result of his decision to sit with a certain person at a conference. A person sitting alone that he decided needed company. What he found out was that this person was the CEO of the HeartMath Institute. They shared stories and laughed... and three months later this same person introduced him to his publisher... but I thinking that original act of giving did not have ulterior motives. He was simply making a decision to give the man company.... what came of that was fabulous, but he did not do it for that reason. It is true we need others and that our interactions and moments when we give to others raise the level of love in the world... but I can't bring myself to call that selfish. God gave us gifts and talents and told us to share them with the world... not to hide them under a basket, but to let our lights shine. The essence of what Preston Smiles is saying is essentially that - "The key to living is giving, and I urge you to give your gifts away, coming from service. Look for ways to add value to everyone you encounter in life, and indirectly you cup will be filled (and you'll feel pretty amazing in the process)." I have heard that one way to draw yourself out of a depression is to get out there and share of yourself. It may be hard, but the benefits pull you out of the darkness that seems intent on binding you. #LOVELOUDERCHALLENGE Over the next 24 hour period, find creative ways to give to another person without using money. This could be anything from a compliment, to a chance to laugh. It could be a shoulder to lean on or an ear to listen to their story. We all want to know we matter. Giving allows us to do that. |
| Friday July 1, 2016 - HAPPY CANADA DAY!!! I have decided as part of my blog to comment on each of Preston Smiles's ways to Love Louder. He has written an intriguing little book or 33 Ways To Amplify Your Life. The full title is Love Louder: 33 Ways To Amplify Your Life. I bought the book recently and was going to just fly through the pages, but the first one rang true... so I am devoting a bit more time to it. Love Louder - Amplifying My Life Day 3 – Gratitude "Have you ever noticed how many people are searching for happiness, as if it's this elusive thing that's always 'out there'? We are conditioned to think that it's outside of us, in things, accomplishments, and goals." We are always waiting until something happens before we deem ourselves happy enough... but those accomplishments and milestones are only fleeting at best. Dennis Waitley says it best: "Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace and gratitude." Living in the moment. Appreciating all that you are at that very moment. Preston Smiles adds that your "outlook determines your outcome, and your outlook is determined by the amount of gratitude you practice." Riches and huge accomplishments will not bring you happiness if you do not see the good in the world and practice gratitude - appreciating what you have in the here and now. Preston writes of a child on death's door, a child who is full of joy and positive energy. From this girl, Upendo, who has a rare degenerative disease and skin cancer, he learns the true meaning of gratitude and a wealthy spirit. It reminds me of Phoebe and our StoryMister and StoryMistress Family - they are going through so much, but Phoebe's video posts never fail to bring a smile and a tear to my eye as I see how strong she is and the love she radiates. She will fight this cancer that ravages her poor wee body, and she will also find hope and peace in the positive light she shines whenever she speaks. Her spirit will fight the battle she faces and I am certain she will prevail. https://www.facebook.com/FriendsOfPhoebe/?pnref=story It is easy to practice gratitude during the good times, but it is equally important to see the good, the silver lining, in all situations - a breakup, a sick child, when everything seems to be imploding.... No matter how tough the world gets or what it throws at you, there is always something to be grateful for... don't get caught in the glass half empty or half full debate... be happy that you have a glass. There is blessing in all things because you are alive. We cultivate gratitude by what we choose to focus on. To be happy, truly happy, you need to stop focusing on what you think you need to be happy and practice being in the moment and being thankful for what you already have. This helps you tap into the abundance of life - you'll attract more of the same goodness in your life. #LOVELOUDERCHALLENGE "Stop right now and notice your breath, notice the feeling of life moving through you with each passing breath. Look around you and recognize, with a grateful heart, the colours, shapes, sounds, and smells that fill that space." Really focus your senses on the present moment - a tree swaying in the wind, voices of the people around you, the textures of your work space, the smell of fresh brewed coffee. Begin to feel grateful for the gifts of sight, hearing, touch, taste and smell. We are sensory beings. Be present in those precious gifts. Be amazed at how your brain works... even at 4:30 in the morning when your body says 'you're awake, get up'. "Life is constantly emerging all around you, and how beautiful is it that you get to experience it fully?" Take the time to 'stop and smell the roses' or the fresh brewed coffee (oh, I could so use some of that right now!). Appreciate that you are awake and feeling pretty good. Believe that today will be a great day... because I know it will be. And now for something completely different... 30 Day Blogging Challenge – July 2016 July 1: Fun Fact Friday! On this day in 1941, the Bulova Watch Company sponsored the first TV commercial in New York City, NY. How do you feel about commercials? Is there a current or past commercial you're particularly fond of (or perhaps really dislike)? Tell us about it. Here is the link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8JenAyMmZ68 Short and sweet. How do I feel about commercials? During a good show I find them annoying... especially when the commercial break comes just before they announce the winner! But sometimes I find myself truly enjoying some commercials... the Budweiser ones with the animals never seem to play at my heart strings - the product is barely mentioned. The commercial tells a story and the accompanying music is perfect. The Snowball Fight one is priceless and any of the ones with the puppy and the Clydesdale Horses are fabulous. Here's a link to see them all... http://jacksonville.com/content/look-back-budweiser-clydesdales-super-bowl-comme... The one called brotherhood always makes me cry! Puppy Love Lost Dog They are subtle with great music and a story. What more could you want. |
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