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My thoughts released; a mind set free |
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These pages contain my thoughts, from meandering ideas and persuasions to deep cerebrations and serious mentations. Why, for what purpose? To release my mind and set creativity free. Somewhere inside the constraints of my mind dwells a writer, a poet, an artist who paints with words. In here I release those constraints and set the artist free. Perhaps, lost somewhere in the depths of thought, is a story or a poem, waiting to be written. 
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| new month, but the same old weather yet, cold, light snow, and windy. Wind chill readings tonight will top off at around a negative forty five degrees below zero. It's been like this all winter. We haven't gotten much for snow, just a little here and there, but with the wind, we have suffered quite a few blizzards with blowing, drifting, and white-out conditions. Hopefully this is the last stretch of better cold air, but who knows. I worked today, up at three and off to work a little after four this morning. I got home and enjoyed a peaceful afternoon, but did not get much done. I was planning on getting some work done this afternoon, but it didn't pan out that way. I wanted to send both my end of week report and my end of month report off, make up the next schedule, and make and print off some papers and postings for work. But, my anti-spyware program came on and insisted that I run a system scan on my computer. So, I figured it's been a while, why not. But, when I started the scan, it told me my definitions were out of date so I had to download them first. That took forever to finish, then the scan started, so I couldn't do much on here until that finished. Rhonda came home before it was done, so I visited with her for a while, then it was time for supper. While we ate we finished watching the movie we started last night, then fed the Bugoos (Hyko got nicknamed Mr. Bugoo, so now they are the Bugoos). Now, I'm in here getting this done, so I can start the month out right. I posted yesterday, about starting a month long challenge in here, 750 Words. Well the first day is today, so I need to get it done. After I get past my 750 words I'll copy and past this over to writing dot com like I usually do. Then, I'll enjoy my beverage and watch something on Netflix. Oh, and we will enjoy some ice cream, while we watch television. After, it will be time for bed, and then up for work tomorrow. I don't have to get up at three again, and won't have to be to work until eight. Sundays are kind of nice that way, especially now that we have them divided into three four hour shifts instead of two six hour shifts. That means I get to sleep in tomorrow, and still get home early enough to get something done. Monday will be back to getting up at three, but then Tuesday and Wednesday are my days off. My plan of action is to finish up my reports and work stuff tomorrow so I don't have to mess with anything on my days off. It shouldn't take too long to get my stuff done, and then I want to start editing something to post in here. If I don't get it done tomorrow, I will have time next week for working on it. Only, my brother will want to get out fishing, and I should make some time for that, too. Of course, I can get some of it done Monday afternoon, if I get to bed on time tomorrow and don't short myself on sleep. That's my biggest problem right now, I tend to short myself on sleep and by the time I get home after work, I'm so tired I cannot function well. I can do some things, but writing and editing are kind of set off for a day when I can concentrate better. I just don't do well writing or editing when tired. That's my other goal, to start getting my routine down for getting to bed on time. It's getting better, but I still have a long way to go. It's tough since I tend to be a night owl. I'm not sure when the switch came, but it did. Most nights I should already be in bed by this time, but tired or not, it just doesn't want to work out. I could easily stay up till after midnight again. It's funny, I can't stay awake in the afternoon, but I can't get to sleep at night. Like I said, it's getting better, and a little brandy will help out tonight. The problem comes if something or someone sabotages the plan and keeps me up late, than I feel like I'm starting all over again. Well, enough, I need to start getting things ready for bed, and that means ending this entry. |
| Last day of the month, and then I start my March challenge in here, 750 Words. I should have done the February challenge, I would be writing my last entry for the month and would have won. I don't know if won is the right term, perhaps met my challenge would be better. But, I didn't sign up for the challenge this month, but did for March. I even set a reward for myself if I make it, a steak dinner for Rhonda and I. I doubt we will go out, I don't know anyplace around here that does a nice steak dinner, but we can purchase a nice steak, some side dishes to go with it, and fix it at home. Other than the challenge, which I actually signed up for yesterday, not much going on. It's the last day of the month, and it's going out as brutally cold as it came in. The whole winter has been extremely cold, for that matter, and march is coming in just as cold. Being the last day of the month, I did have to run to the county seat and pick up my new registration and license for the year. I still have to transfer title and get plates on the Freestar, and when we get the other van fixed, will have to renew the plates on that. Nothing like waiting until the last day to get the new stickers to put on the plates. Now, when Rhonda gets home, I'll have to go out with some alcohol and clean the plates up so the new stickers will adhere good. I should have taken that vehicle over to pick them up, but instead I let Rhonda drive it home so I could take the new van. Not new as in brand new, but new to us. Also, it is new than our other van and newer than the GMC. My reasoning was, it gets a lot better mileage than the GMC does, so it was cheaper to drive the van over to get the plates renewed than to take the GMC. From work, it must be about sixty five miles round trip over and then home, so it was a big enough savings to warrant driving the van over the GMC. I haven't heard anything from my brother about ice fishing yet, although he did post a picture on Facebook of a fish he caught. I'm not sure if it was yesterday or the day before, and I don't know if he went out today or not. He did not say much in the post, just how thick the ice was. He also sent an e-mail with the same information and the same photo of his fish. It didn't sound like the fish were biting any better than they have been, and it's cold and windy still. I hope it gets nicer soon so I can go out and enjoy a bit of fishing. Mostly, it's been this cold that has slowed me down this week, that and the cold and wind. My cold seems to be getting better, but I'm still so tired. I rested up good all week. I missed work on Sunday, worked Monday then had Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday off. I rested up good all those days and slept in as well. Today I was up at three for work, and even though I got to bed a little later than what I should, I feel I shouldn't be so tired. Not with all the sleep I had this week. But, it doesn't seem to be making any difference, I was so tired by the time I got home, I couldn't really focus on anything. I did have to do some stuff for work, and muddled through that alright. I did check, double check, and then triple check my work since I am so tired. Then, I got a bite to eat and got online for a few minutes to check mail and a few social sites. By the time I was done eating, I was ready to take a nap, so I snuggled in under a pile of blankets and quilts and slept until Rhonda called when she got off of work. Not only tired, but cold as well; the heat is cranked up plenty high in here, I should be too hot, not cold. That's the way it's been all week, and even though I'm feeling better, indicates the cold is still going on inside. Hopefully it's about done, and I can start getting back to what's normal for me. Now, it's about time for Rhonda to get home~ |
| Wow, the last three days went by so fast. I haven't worked since Monday, and really enjoyed the last three days immensely. I didn't do much, and it really felt good. It's been a long time since I took time to do little or nothing but relax and enjoy life. Now, my time off is almost up for this week, but it will be a short stretch and then another two days off next week, three the week after. I don't know how long it will last, and if things pan out the way I would like, I may very soon be enjoying three days off every week over the summer. Of course, there is a payoff; I will have to work some long days on the other four days I do work. That's alright, though, I don't mind the long stretches during double coverage at all. In fact, since I will be working with Rhonda part of each day, it should be enjoyable; it was last summer, and then it was without any time off at all. I will get more hours per week and have more time off per week, all at the same time. Of course, that's if all works according to the plan, and it's only through the summer. Next fall things would switch back to the current schedule or something similar. Again, it depends on the other guards, and how things may change with them. But, that's someplace down the road, not where we are today. Today I'm off for the third day in a row, but Rhonda is working this afternoon, whereas the last two days we had off together. So, since I am home alone, well, not alone, I have two wonderful friends here with me, our Golden Retriever Hyko, and our Labradinger, Hannah. Anyway, since Rhonda is not here, I thought today would be a good day to try and get some time in at WDC. I wanted to get this entry done first, however, and since I am writing in 750 Words and then transferring the entry into my journal, I started in here and will soon be over there. I have just a today and tomorrow left to write in here to make it the full month, even though I started back up in here before the first. Two days... It's hard to believe it's almost the first of March; especially considering the weather. the old saying references March coming in as a lion or a lamb, but this year it's quite different. March is coming in like a polar bear! Sure, here in eastern South Dakota it's not uncommon to have some cold weather in February and even a bit into March. But, we have only seen a few days that were not frigid this month, and it's forecast to keep on right through the weekend. This long of a stretch of cold is very uncommon for this late in the year. Hell, this much cold is uncommon for our average winter. At least we have not gotten a ton of snow with it, since the winds have seldom been below fifteen miles an hour and have often been over twenty-five. Of course, March is the month we usually get the most snow, so we are not out of the woods yet. Hopefully this will be our last stretch of arctic cold, and we can start seeing some warmer days again. It's been a long winter with few days fit to do anything outside. In fact, the other day it was in the lower teens but not windy, and I was referring to it as a nice day. Compared to what we have been getting, it was very nice out, but compared to our normal weather, it was pretty cold. That makes this seem like a very long winter, and since we had no time off to enjoy last spring, summer, or fall, it's been a very long time since we've had a day we could just spend outside enjoying ourselves. That's what I'm looking forward to, a nice day, temperatures above zero, no wind or at least just a light breeze, and being able to sit out on the patio and enjoy a fire for an evening, with a little wine or perhaps a mixed drink. Later, when it warms a bit more, I'm thinking I want to spend a great many nights out camping, even if it's just a campground close to home here. Of course, that's a ways off yet, and there are things I would enjoy right now, like getting the fish house out on the ice and spending an afternoon with Rhonda fishing. It would be great to catch some fish, but just to get out and enjoy some fresh air with her is always the bast part. We could take the dogs, too, if the weather is warm enough. Now, it's just too cold for them to be out for long at all, and to have them out on the ice would freeze their feet in no time. Of course, I have gotten out a few times with my brother, and even caught some fish. It's fun, but it's not the same. He is more like my dad was; if the fish aren't biting steady, he's not really enjoying himself. Also, he is so set on doing things the same as everyone else. To go out and fish someplace where no one else is fishing is out of the question. Nope, he watches to see where everyone else is set up, what the local fishing report says is a good place to fish, and of course, what other's are saying is a good place to go. Me, I'm the type who would rather go someplace no one else is fishing and have the lake to myself. Maybe I'll catch fish, maybe no; either way, I have a good time. I don't put much faith in what the local report says is good, I haven't seen them hit it right once yet. My brother says they are a week behind by the time it's posted, but I think it's a lot of propaganda to generate income from people going out fishing. After all, it's based on reports from people who are fishing, and if you know where they are biting, why would you make it public? I mean, seriously, if you find a real hot spot to catch fish, would you post that information publicly so that the next day there will be fifty or more people trying to fish in that same spot? It's the same with people; there are few I would put much credit into what they say is a good spot to fish. Sure, there are some, and when they tell me, I soon find out it's right on. But the rest, the ones I really don't know, they send a person to the wrong lake, using the wrong bait. They don't want you and your friends taking their spot. As for going where everyone else is fishing, maybe. That's all I'll give it is a maybe. Too many times we have tried fishing where everyone else is fishing and come up with nothing. Sometimes it's a matter of being right in their spot. Like the other day when we went out, we had one little spot that was doing great, another was doing good. All around us was simply dead. We had the right spot over some cover or something and the fish were there, no place else. the next time we went, we set up in the same place and I fished in the same spot and caught a few, missed a few, and had a few bites that didn't do more than tug the bobber once. My brother was right next to me, and only had a couple light bites. It was just one small spot that was active. There were quite a few people out there fishing, but few if any, left with any fish. I'm sure some just seen a lot of people out on the ice, so they assume the fishing is good. Then,m they set up and someone else drives out and sees even more people on the ice, so the fishing is great. Soon, there's a ton of people out there, and no one is catching anything except a couple who happen to have hit the right spot. Next time they go out, they will go to another lake and look for a few people who are out there. Then they go out, and soon enough everyone is out there, thinking the fishing must be good or there wouldn't be so many people out fishing. I actually used this to keep my fishing spot a few times in Minnesota. We would go out to a small lake and fish for sunfish, crappies, and bass. I knew a few good spots on the lake, and soon enough we would have a few fish on the stringer. As soon as we had caught a few, someone would pull up in another boat and ask us how we were doing. "Oh, we got a couple little ones, but nothing big." I would then add, "We were just thinking of moving, they have to be in here someplace." Then we would move a bit, but stay in sight of them. They would be just getting things set up and we would make sure they heard us with something like, "That's better, something we can put on the stringer." Then, we would lift the stringer a bit, make a good show of putting a fish on it, and back over the side. Of course, there was no fish, and it was on the side they could not see. A few minutes later and another person in our boat would do the same thing. By now, the other people would be slowly moving over closer to us as they watched and did a few quick casts. Once they were close enough, we would go through the motions again and make sure they seen our stringer of fish. Then we would call it a day and head in, clean our catch, and feel pretty sure our hot spot would be ready for us to go back out to. Soon enough the boat that had crowded us out would be at the landing, packing up and heading out. Once they were gone, we would go back out and catch some more fish, or we would head home ourselves, saving the good spot for another day. Now, I learned that by fishing with other people and I'm sure it's the same here as it was there. No fisherman with a lick of common sense is going to give up his or her's hot fishing spot to anyone except a select few they really trust. After all, someone is bound to see a fish caught and the secret will be out soon enough. |
| Day two off for this week, and I sure am enjoying it. I had two days off last week, but went fishing on one of them, and got caught up on work stuff on the other. The week before I had a new guard and wasn't sure how things would go, so didn't know if I would have to go in or not. This week the weather wasn't looking very good, but by Monday our four inches of snow tapered off after one inch, and the cold moved in without the strong winds behind it. So, by Tuesday, the weather was cold but not bad. Lots of sun, mild breeze, and no problems from anyone. I took the day as a relaxation day, just kind of spent it doing a lot of nothing. Today was another nice sunny day, warmer, but windy. The snow was blowing around some, but not too bad. It actually got up to twenty degrees, but with the wind, it's very cold out. In fact, yesterday barely climbed above zero but with calmer winds, it felt nicer than today. Not that it matters, i was off both days and accomplished a lot of nothing. I spent time with my wife, of course. I slept in pretty late both days, which felt terrific. And I just kind of took it easy. With the rest and relaxation, I'm feeling rested and much better. Something had my stomach in turmoil, to the point I was beginning to wonder if it was my gall bladder. Then, the pain shifted and it felt like my kidneys. Now, that's feeling much better and i think it was a new product I tried that tore me up inside. I also caught Rhonda's cold. she had been suffering with a pretty nasty head cold, and it was starting to move into her chest. But, then I caught it and she started feeling better. I'm sure the two days off and a lot of rest had more to do with it than me catching it from her. Even so, it seems like most of the time a person has a cold, they suffer with it until someone else catches it, then they are better. But, even though I had caught it and suffered with it a couple of days, the last two restful days have me feeling a whole lot better with that, too. In fact, I'm just feeling all around better with a couple of nice stress free days to rest up. And, the best part is I still have tomorrow off, too. I also had a friend from my childhood post a few pictures of herself when we used to play together. She was twelve and I was thirteen, but I sure had a big crush on that girl. We enjoyed a few seasons of playing and laughing together, but then she moved to a different town and I seldom seen her after that. years later we ended up neighbors for a while. She and her guy were raising their child, me and my wife had our first on our way. This time it was me who moved, but we didn't move far. My friend and her family ended up moving even closer and we kind of stayed in touch again, but soon after my son was born I joined the military and once again we were miles apart. Years passed, and I often thought about my friend, wondering how life had gone for her, and I even thought about looking her up a few times when I was in that area. But, my life was keeping my pretty busy and I didn't want to burden my friend with some of the problems I had in my life. Time past, things got worse, and no matter what I tried, I just couldn't seem to hold everything together. Then, it all came to a head and I found myself filing for a divorce, single again, and raising three teenager children. Again I thought of my friend, and wondered how things could have been. Being so busy with raising kids, working, and trying to make another mistake of a relationship work took most of my time, and when I did have a little free time I would either spend it writing or drinking. Not so much for a good drunk, although there were plenty of them, it was to get out and try and meet some nice woman who could fill the emptiness I had inside. In time I found out only I could fill that emptiness, and at that point I gave up on women completely. I had kids to raise, needed to rediscover myself, and so I wouldn't be alone, I had a wonderful new puppy. Of course, it was about this same time that Rhonda, my wonderful wife now, showed up at my door and that was the end of me being alone. Of course, it didn't just happen right then and there, but soon enough we were together more than apart, and soon enough we moved from Minnesota to South Dakota and started a new life together here. My old childhood friend still occupied my memories from time to time, but it had been over thirty years by this time and I just never even thought about trying to locate her or anything. I had my memories, and that was it. Then, one day in Facebook, there was a friend request from her. We have kept in touch through Facebook since then, and hopefully soon I can make a visit back to Minnesota to visit her. She and Rhonda also will get a chance to meet, and know each other through Facebook. Hopefully everything will work out well, but for now, it's just a few pictures of the little girl who once had my heart and was my best friend. All these years later, she still holds a piece of my heart, I suppose she always will. We both have different lives, children and grand children, but the few years we shared so long ago has held us together over all these years and across so many miles. Seeing those old pictures brings back so many wonderful memories of a little boy playing in the sunshine -- in a world so far, far away. Things have changed so much, the world had moved on and the only thing I still have from that little boy is his wonderful imagination and a wonderful childhood friend. Hopefully this summer that friendship can be increased to include Rhonda as well. |
| It's getting late, a quarter to eleven here in South Dakota, so that means i'ts a quarter to midnight in WdC. This is just the opening to ensure I get this started before the day is up. Okay, I started writing in WdC so I could get it logged as my journal entry for today, Tuesday, February 25, 2014. It's kind of funny, in a way, how I can write in here up to two hours past midnight my time and it still logs as the same day, yet in WdC, I have an hour left in my time zone when it's midnight there. Different coasts, and time zones is all it is, but it's still kind of funny how I sit right in the middle. Of course, in here, 750 Words, I think it's possible to set what time zone I am in, while in WdC, there is no way to adjust it for each time zone. Not that it matters for either, as long as a person is aware and can adjust or adapt to the different time zones. Now that I have that out, I can actually write something for my journal entry. Only, it's late and I'm tired, so I'm having a little trouble with typos, and a lot of trouble with trying to think of something to write about. For starts, I can talk about my day. That's always a pretty good journal entry, my day. Today is my day off. I get two days off one week, and three the next. This is my three day off week. Next week I'll only get Tuesday and Wednesday off, while Rhonda gets to have the third day off. It's nice we can switch like that, and the three day off week is sweet, to say the least. Also, if we want to do something together that requires us both to have three days off, I could take a day off with pay, since I have a few coming yet this year. Rhonda will have some paid time off coming in April. But, that just establishes how our time off is scheduled, it has nothing to do with my day off. I had a good day off, but I am kind of sore, and that takes us back to yesterday and a whole different topic. Yesterday, after work, I stopped and purchased new spark plugs for our GMC Jimmy. We had gotten some bad gas with a high water content a few weeks back at a station we don't usually go to. It made the vehicle run like crap, of course, and it also fouled the spark plugs. Normally, running a few tanks of gas through will correct the problem, especially since I try and run ethanol enriched fuel in our vehicles. It works similar to the gas line dryer products as well as those designed to remove water from the fuel. Alcohol is the main component in both, just different types of alcohol are used. Some kinds, like the product Heat, use methanol, which can damage plastic and rubber components. Most fuel based cleaners for injectors, carburetors, and fuel lines, as well as additives to remove moisture are isopropyl alcohol because it dissolves so many types of impurities and is relatively safe for most plastics and rubbers used in a vehicles fuel system. Then, there's ethanol, or grain alcohol similar to the alcohol in fermented and distilled beverages. It also is relatively safe for fuel systems in a diluted stage, depending on the year of the vehicle. Much of our fuel around here is mixed with ethanol to produce a less expensive fuel that is a little bit cleaner. Of course, for older vehicles, like the Jimmy, I have to use a very low ethanol blend, 15%. Years ago, when I was in the service, they started adding 10% to fuels to increase the octane rating on unleaded fuels. I started running this back then, as an alternative to adding isopropyl alcohol to my fuel to remove and prevent moisture problems. It has to do with the cold weather, and condensation that produces moisture in the fuel and in the vehicle tanks in this climate. So, anyway, I ran a few tanks of alcohol blended fuel through the Jimmy, to remove the water. That part worked and the Jimmy should have run better, but it didn't. The water had fouled the plugs, and possibly damaged them. So I bought new ones and spent the afternoon changing them out. That fixed the problem with the vehicle, but it made my arms very sore. Partly do to fatigue, and the rest do to cuts, scrapes, abrasions, and possibly some minor frostbite. So, today I'm feeling the effects of that work, as well as my back and neck aching from the strain and positioning I was in while working. But, I did get to sleep in, which has me feeling more rested than I have in a long time. So, I started out today stiff and sore, but rested and feeling good about fixing the Jimmy and not having to pay out fifty or sixty bucks to have someone do the same job. Once I was up, Rhonda took me back to bed for some morning snuggles, cuddles and some time together that we have been deprived of quite a bit lately. After we got back up, it was coffee and conversation for the rest of the morning, which was only a couple of hours. It felt great to lounge around, talk to my wonderful wife, and just kind of waste away the morning. After we had drunk some coffee, I made us brunch and Rhonda helped, then it was an enjoyable meal and time for a Bible study. We didn't get very far in the Bible study, but we spent a couple of hours as a result of a lot of discussion about the subject we were on. We also took the dogs out, played a bit with them, worked together on dinner, and watched some television. I did get online a little bit, but mostly just to check my email and see what new posts where in Facebook. I really didn't get much more time for that, after spending most of my time today enjoying a day of leisure and relaxation. Tomorrow I will have to get in here and try and get more done, but it was nice today, even if I didn't get in here for more than a quick look at my messages and to post this entry. It's been a long time since we could afford the time to splurge on the luxury of just taking a day off to enjoy each other's company, lounge around together, and just spend a day doing pretty much nothing. Of course, we did do something, we talked, we spent time with each other, we cooked, we took the dogs out and exercised them, and I even pulled the electric fireplace apart and gave it a cleaning. We just didn't do much, except enjoy a day off together, without attempting to get as much other stuff done with the time as we usually do. It felt good to not have a list of pressing things waiting to get done, and to have to spend a day off working to get them out of the way. It truly was a day off, the first we have had the pleasure of enjoying -- and I will add, enjoying together -- in a long, long time. |
| Even though I made it in here early again today, I won't have much time to spend. I have to go pick Rhonda up from work later this afternoon. We finally have two vehicles again, and of course one of them has to break down. This time, however, I was actually able to work on it and fix it myself. We had gotten some gas from a different station a while back, and the GMC started misfiring before we even got it home. I suspected water in the gas, and we run a couple more tanks of good gas through it but it kept running rougher and rougher. The last week or so, it just didn't want to start good at all, and last night it wouldn't start at all. I figured the water in the gas must have fouled the spark plugs, or even cracked them. So, today on the way home I stopped and picked up some new plugs and after I got home i set about changing them. Normally, this is not a real difficult process, but then, neither was the other jobs that I had to have hired out lately. Normally they would be something I could do myself -- normally. But, this GMC Jimmy just does not have any room to work on anything. Even though it's a six cylinder, it barely fits. What room there is around the engine is stuffed full of other equipment. It was the same with the plugs. The driver side was the worst and I had to remove two of the plugs from under the vehicle. Not right under, but from inside the wheel well. It was kind of crazy, but that was the only way to get at the back two plugs on that side. Of course, if the vehicle was up in the air higher, and the tire was removed, this would not be real bad, but for me, working in the driveway, it was a matter of lying flat on my back, sliding part way under the vehicle, and then reaching up into the access area to work. It about killed my arms by the time I had these two removed. The front plug on the driver side was a little easier, but still a tight squeeze. The passenger side was much better, and I could change all of them from the top reaching down. There still wasn't a lot of room, but enough to squeeze my arms in and work. Of course, it did not help that the old plugs did not want to come out, and it with a lot of force all the way out with each and every one of them. By the looks of them, I don't think they have ever been changed before. Did I mention it's a 1993 GMC Jimmy? That's right, the plugs looked like they may have been the original plugs that came with the vehicle. If they were not the originals, they we changed a long time ago. I did get the job done, and after two and a half hours I was ready to start it up. Last night it would not start, but flooded out instead. Today, after changing the plugs, it fired right up and ran pretty damn good. It still needs a new cap and rotor, but I can do that after the weather gets a little better. That will be a reach, but it's on top of the engine and I should be able to do that myself, too. I was going to wait until tomorrow or Wednesday to work on it, but it's snowing out, and there is a possibility of getting quite a lot of snow. I'm off the next two days, as is Rhonda, but if the weather gets too bad, we may have to work for one of the guys who lives a ways out of town. Hopefully not, but it's better to be safe than sorry. So, I wanted to get the Jimmy running, since it has four wheel drive and gets through the snow pretty good. I think our new van will do pretty good, too, but why take the risk when we have four wheel drive? So, instead of waiting, I tackled the job this afternoon. Then after I came in, I seen we are in for some real cold weather and wind again. Now I'm even happier that I did the work today. it wasn't too bad out, around twenty degrees and just a light breeze. Now, I have two vehicles running again, I have four wheel drive if it's needed, and I even got my journal entry done before it's time to go pick Rhonda up. It's shaping up to be a good day. Now if that other guy can make it in so we can get right back home and enjoy a relaxing evening together. |
| Six days left and the month is over. I started writing in 750 words on January twenty-ninth so I have twenty five days done already. Actually, that's the second round for writing in here, since I joined some time back and wrote in here for a while. When things got out of control, instead of being motivational, it became more of a frustration so I stopped. Now, I'm back and it's working as a motivation tool once again. It's been a long time but it feels good to be in here and working towards some goals again. I'm not setting out to break any records, just to make the daily seven hundred and fifty words and to complete the month. I will continue on with next month, of course, and the month after and so on. Of course, I may take on a monthly challenge or try for another badge in time, but for now it's just the basics to write everyday and to keep up at least seven hundred and fifty words, without diving in to fast and taking on too much. I should be writing something more than just in here, but it's just not coming. That is something I need to work on, too. Up to now, I have primarily been writing based on spontaneous bursts of creativity, but that has not always been the case. In college, I had to write and have it done by a deadline. I did fine, and seldom had any trouble at all. I sometimes faltered a bit trying to find a subject, but with a little determination I would find something to write about and then go full force into it. But, when it came to personal writing, it was based on feelings and emotion as much as anything. Sometimes I could write and it flowed freely, other times I would sit and look at a blinking cursor and not be able to do more than a few words. I could get a start, then delete, then start and delete. You get the idea, there just wasn't any inspiration, and nothing would flow. In fact, I used to take paper and pencil and write to trigger my inspiration. Sometimes it would help, many times I performed the same as on the computer, write and delete; only now it was write and erase. I was a single parent of two teenagers in high school, one out of school but living at home. Often, there was no time to write, and when there was, it was often too noisy. I should add that we lived in a very small house with no place to go to escape the noise and activity. So, I would go down to the lake and try to write there. Often, it was late in the evening so the beach would be quiet except for a few, sometimes it was after dark, and I would have the beach to myself. With the sounds of the night around me, the moon dancing on the water's surface, I would take pencil to paper and write from feelings and inspiration when it would come. This became my normal routine, and I still find I need quiet and still to write. I also still tend to write from inspiration, and when it's flowing I do terrific, but when it ebbs, so does my writing. This would be fine if I had ample time on my hands, but time is very limited and often when inspiration comes, I am in no place or position to write. I have recorded ideas to write later, and when voice recording doesn't work, I take notes and record on paper my ideas. It works to preserve the idea, but to write on it, I need to find inspiration again, and by the time I have time, that's ended. So I have a lot of half baked ideas, some good and in need of working out, others probably fit for the trash can. Actually, I seldom dispose of any of my ideas, even if they don't move me after I look back on them. No, I save them, even though I doubt I will ever do anymore with them. They seemed like a good idea at the time, but where the idea came from, I have no idea. Even so, it was something that seemed promising at the time, and it may have had more substance at that moment, but lost it when the circumstances surrounding it's birth changed. Therefore, under the right conditions, it may find some life after all. Chances are it won't, but it could. There is also the other side of it, and the greater reason I do not discard the idea. Even though it didn't work itself out and become anything, it may inspire another idea. In looking back at these ideas and trying to put thoughts with it, sometimes it triggers an offshoot that is a good idea to write on. Also, some of these ideas started to take shape but never made it quite to completion. Some did complete, but then died without revision. Both may one day become something I do want to complete, and with a few changes or possibly some major ones, they could become something I want to finish. There have been a few of these that have also inspired a whole new version, and with the new direction turned into completed items. Also, some of them just fill space, but it shows me that even though it did not work out, my creative side was working and churning out ideas. Now, what I need is time to finish many of these ideas and sort through the rest. I need to organize them and work on them as well as to record more ideas, and create more items; some from the ideas I have stored, and from new ones as well. Time, that is my biggest obstacle, and time tends to work against me. As far as time goes, I find I have little of it. At the same time, I have great demands for the little I do find. I'm sure that's normal for most people, but for me there is another obstacle associated with time, and that is inspiration. For instance, today; I have time but am not getting much accomplished with it. I look at the clock and it's mid afternoon, yet I have done very little, and I have created even less. I have this journal entry written, or at least about written, but that's about all. Where did the day go? How did time get away, again? How do I overcome the problem with time and inspiration? These are questions I cannot answer. The fact that the day is half shot is kind of frustrating. The fact that I didn't get much done with the half a day that is now gone is also frustrating. But the biggest frustration is knowing these two things and not knowing how to do anything to change them. Let me explain it a little: Today, Sunday, is a normal work day for me. But, today I just could not get woke up. Rhonda, my wife woke me after she had the dogs out and coffee ready, like she usually does. It's kind of our routine, I lounge in bed a bit and she wakes me with lots of love and affection. Only this morning, I really couldn't wake up, and when she did wake me, I was so tired I could have easily fell instantly back to sleep. I have not been sleeping well, and I tend to get behind on my sleep through the week, but this was different. I have also been feeling ill all week, with some kind of abdominal problems, and that could be part of it. Rhonda has been suffering a cold all week, and this morning I was feeling the symptoms; I seem to have contacted her cold, as well. Even so, I should not have been this tired. I went to bed early enough, and being Sunday, didn't have to get up at three in the morning. So, I had a full nights rest and should have been awake and refreshed, like most Sundays. Instead, Rhonda went in to work early for me, and I was asleep before she even left. She did give me a kiss before she went, and I remember that, but nothing else. I slept sound until eleven, then woke because I had to go to the bathroom. I felt like going back to bed, but forced myself to stay up. Even though I was tired enough to fall right back to sleep, I wanted to get something accomplished with this gift of time she had given me. I also knew, that if I went back to sleep, I would probably not wake until noon or later, and if I slept too much this early in the day, I likely would not be able to sleep later tonight. Since I need to get to bed kind of early tonight and be up by three tomorrow morning, I didn't want to mess up my chances for getting to bed early tonight. So, I found something to eat, got a cup of coffee and checked out a few sites online. I went into MyFitnessPal and logged an entry, read a few entries from my friends, then closed that and opened Facebook. Again, I looked at a few entries from my friends and then closed out my browser and did a little maintenance. My computer was running slow, so I run a program to find and fix some of the stuff that goes on with computers, it also cleans up temp files and does a few other things. After running that, I ran an anti-spyware program to make sure I didn't have any bugs slowing things down. While this ran, I took the dogs out and let them get a little fresh air and do their canine business of sniffing and marking. After about fifteen minutes I came back in and since my laptop was still running the anti-spyware, I got on my netbook and looked around a bit. It wasn't working out very well, however. This cold seems to have my eyes sensitive to light, and it's also difficult to focus on the small screen. On top of that, Hanna, our Labradinger (Labrador and Springer Spaniel mix) just would not leave me alone. We rescued her from the humane society, where she had lived most of her life of two years, and she is still getting used to interacting with people. She does well, is very well behaved, but she just cannot get enough attention sometimes. Today was one of those times, and she continued to climb on my lap, despite I was holding a lap-desk and computer. What could I do? If I didn't do something, she would have me all scratched up; her feet pads and claws get very sharp and scratchy. Also, she would have the lap-desk and netbook on the floor if I didn't do something. So I did what I had to, and put the netbook back on the desk and put the lap-desk down so I could hold her and give her some loving. After a bit she settled down, but as soon as I took up my computer again, she began to get vocal and climb on me again. Then it dawned on me that she wanted more than just some lovings, she was hungry, too. I asked her if she wanted her dinner, and Hyko, our older Golden Retriever also confirmed it was past time to eat. I felt bad, because it was past their normal feeding time, and I had forgotten. See, Rhonda usually feeds them before she goes to work, but then she works the afternoon shift, normally. I work the morning shift and am gone already by the time they eat. But this morning, Rhonda went in for me, and I was home instead of her, and needed to feed these two for her. They reminded me, and I fixed up their dinner and fed them, then set about restarting my laptop since everything was done running now. While it restarted, I took them back out, to do the canine post-dinner stuff. After they had spent a good fifteen to twenty minutes outside, we came back in and I found something to snack on and sat down ready to get back to doing something. Hannah wanted a few snuggles and some petting, then settled down by my feet while Hyko climbed up on Rhonda's chair beside me and got some loving for himself. Then he settled down on his bed, Hannah jumped up onto Rhonda's chair and snuggled in for an afternoon nap, and I logged in to Writing dot Com, ready to do some reading and reviewing. I looked over a few things, but just could not get into reading. One problem is my eyes still do not want to focus very well, which makes reading kind of difficult. Also, I'm still tired. I could go right back to sleep if I let myself. both of these makes reading difficult, and also hamper writing. Even so, I tried a few times, then decided to try and get inspired to to write something. I looked at some writing prompts, but they didn't do much for me. I tried writing a little, but my fingers don't want to hit the keys dead on today, and I'm finding many typos as I write. It just isn't working. That's when I just tossed in the towel and logged in here, to 750 Words. It's not giving up, I just gave up on trying to read, trying to write, and took advantage of this extra time I have to get my journal entry written early in the day, instead of trying to fight myself with the other tasks and ending up not getting this done until later, when I'm even more tired, rushed, and unable to concentrate, like it was last night. I should have seen this coming. I mean last night, I had great difficulty in writing my entry in here. I was tired, but then I usually am by that time of the night. Only, last night I was even more tired. I chocked it up to fishing, and nothing else. Getting out into the fresh air does make me tired and relaxed but this was different, I just was too out of it to see that. As I mentioned earlier, I tend to get behind on my sleep, and I'm often very tired, but I can still function. Yes, it does mess with me trying to write, since I have trouble holding my thoughts when I'm tired, but I can manage. I may not be inspired do to being over tired, but I can write my journal, and I can do other things. I have to be literally exhausted before I can't function. Last night I was unable to function, and had I been exhausted, that would have been fine. But I wasn't, I had been getting more sleep than I usually do. Even so, I had not been sleeping well, waking often and not being able to fall right back to sleep. Kind of like it gets when your used to getting six hours of sleep every night, and then you start getting eight, it takes a while before you can sleep for all eight. Only this wasn't at the start of the cycle, I was falling right to sleep. It wasn't after the end of my normal cycle, I was sleeping up to the alarm waking me. It was during the cycle, waking from a sound sleep, and just not feeling tired enough to go back to sleep. I should add that I do wake up often, some nights more than others. It's usually something I heard but am unaware of upon waking. It could be traffic, the dogs, or who knows what. I wake up, unsure of why, and ready to just roll over and go right back to sleep. Only, I feel the need to get up and use the toilet first; not real strong, but enough to push through my foggy state. So, I get up, go to the bathroom, then return to bed, snuggle up to Rhonda, and fall right back to sleep. Sometimes this happens once during the night, sometimes a few times. rarely it doesn't happen at all, but no mater how often, I usually go right back to sleep. Only the last few nights, it wasn't anything like the norm. I would wake up as if I had slept all night. I knew I hadn't, the alarm had not gone off yet. So, I got up, went to the bathroom, then returned to bed knowing I would have to get up soon for work. I would snuggle up to Rhonda, close my eyes, and lie there, feeling like I should get up, since I wasn't tired and didn't feel like I needed to sleep anymore. Knowing I had only slept a few hours, I fought this by finding something pleasant to focus on, an shortly would drift off to sleep, only to wake after a couple hours, feeling like I had slept all night. Yes, a complete repeat of the former wake up. I figure about every two hours this happened. The only thing different was something going on in my abdomen. I thought for a while it may be my gallbladder, but now it's feeling very different. I still have some pain, but it's moved. It's also not as severe, and feels more in the kidneys now. So, last night I was tired, and should have been. After the last few nights prior to last night, I had woke often, but had gotten more sleep than I usually do during the week. I had also gone fishing and gotten some fresh air, so yes, I should have been tired and relaxed. But not to the point of being exhausted, and unable to function. Also, stress has been a big factor for me since I took this job, and especially since I took over as supervisor. Sometimes the stress gets severe, but recently it's been better. I have a full crew, both Rhonda and I are getting a couple days off together each week, and we even get them off together, which has been rare. Stress from life has been high, too. It was difficult for a time, but over the summer we managed. We didn't get much time off, and I didn't get any. I work on site as well as from home, doing most of my supervisor work from home. The few days I did get off between November, this fall, and April, last spring, were spent working from home and dealing with work related problems. Also, we had plenty of problems with vehicles and stuff, too. But we managed through them and now have things back where they should be. Stress levels are lower again and things are working out. So, there really isn't any reason why I was so tired last night, or why I'm so tired again today. It may be a result of being sick, but I have been sicker and not as tired as I was last night. I really don't understand why I couldn't function last night, or why I couldn't wake up this morning. I don't understand why I'm still so tired today. Which brings me back to writing and time. I'm tired, yes, but not unable to function. It is kid of difficult to focus and concentrate again, but not as bad as lost night. Yet here it is, now ten minutes past four in the afternoon and I still haven't done much. I ate a little, but just snacking more than anything. I fed the dogs and let them out a few times, and I checked my posts in Facebook and logged into MyFitnessPal. I also looked into WDC and tried to read a few things as well as to write a little. When I didn't get anyplace with that, I logged into 750 Words and wrote this. It is a nice long entry, and I have gotten my mind open, but I'm still having trouble with focus and holding my thoughts. I feel like I just woke up and have my sleep fog still messing with my head. I need to wake up, but it's not happening, not yet anyway. I still find myself making many typos and unable to focus clearly, and I'm still wondering how I can overcome these things and write. I need to find inspiration, but can't when things are like this. In fact, many times when I do have some time, I find myself without inspiration. I don't know how to inspire, and that is the biggest problem I face as writer. Without inspiration, I don't get any writing done. But, I did in college, and I do here, in my journal entry. Now, if I could get that to work in some stories or poems, I would have something. To be able to write without inspiration and create something by choice rather than depending on inspiration to get something done, that's what I need to find. Then I could utilize the time I get to accomplish something in my writing instead of feeling like I wasted what little time I have. That's what I need to set out to find, the way to write without being inspired and motivated from feelings and emotion. To take a topic or writing prompt and be able to write whether inspiration hits or not, that's my goal and what I intend to achieve. When I can do this, I can write again. Without it, I have to wait for inspiration to strike, and to have it strike during my limited time that's available for writing. Not much chance of that; this is why I have not written much lately, either no inspiration, or no time, or a combination of the two. But, to be able to write at will when time presents itself would over come this obstacle and it is what I need to do. I just need to find a way; I need to learn how to write by choice, not by inspiration. I could then set up a time to write and actually write during that time. How can I do that now, when I need to be inspired to write. Sure, I have time right now, but how do I write something if I need to be inspired and inspiration does not come? No, inspiration is great, and when it strikes, I act on it. But, I also need to be able to act without it, and that is the challenge I now must overcome. I made a step in that direction today, without inspiration but with plenty of time, I managed to write this entry. Not just write a little bit on the weather, or work, but to put thought and effort into writing something. I have suffered a lot of typos, and it's been difficult to maintain focus at times, but I did manage and that's the main point. That is what I need to see, and to know, that I can write even when inspiration does not work with me, even when I'm tired, and even when I cannot focus clearly. I want to be a writer, to one day be able to publish some of my writing, and that means I would make writing my job, not just a hobby. And, like any other job, I must be able to do my work no matter what else is going on. Sure, sometimes it will come easy, but then other times it will be more difficult. The bottom line is, I want to write, and I want to write all the time. I want to be able to sit down and write towards a goal, and not have to depend on inspiration to achieve it. Like I did today, when inspiration did not come, when I could not ''get into" my writing, yet I set out here, in 750 words intent on writing my journal entry. I picked a topic and I set a goal to write out a long entry, to cover the thoughts and ideas I could generate on that topic, and even if I lost focus and drifted, to pull back and get back on course until I completed my goal. I did not set a word count goal, I just wanted to get a good entry out, and spend some time writing. I didn't know how far it would go, I just focused on writing, know I wanted to get a nice long entry for the day. How did I do? Well the work count right now is over four thousand and counting. My arms are fatigued from typing, and I feel them shaking as I hit the keys. I find myself making more and more typos, yet I focus and move my fingers to type the thoughts as I go. I may be tired and fatigued, but I am still able to write, and so I push on until I find myself at a point of feeling like I accomplished just what I needed. Now, as I come to the end of this entry, I feel good about completing this, I feel good about the word count I managed on this, and even though I did not type fast, I typed and wrote, and that, as a writer, is what I need to do. For you who have read this, or even started reading it, I apologize for the great length. But since I write in here, in my journal for myself, not for an outside audience, I will not allow myself to feel bad for you. I know this did not have any active plot, that I wondered and lost touch with my subject. I know there must be a huge amount of room to edit and correct. But, if you read through this, you understand and can possibly relate. I doubt few if any will read more than the first few lines, possibly a few paragraphs. I can't imagine there's much here to interest anyone. But, I did not write this to entertain, I wrote this because I needed to write, to find some answers, and to see if I could, when things are not working, make them work. I did, I made them work, and no matter how terrible the writing, it is here, in black and white, proof that I can do it; I can write if I set my mind to it. The next step, to set my mind to a topic of interest and to write something you may just enjoy; a short story or poem. |
| Saturday night and here I am, at home and ready for bed. Not that this means I've grown old, just grown more mature and responsible. I did go out for a while this afternoon, however. No, not to the bar to drink. I went out fishing. It was pretty slow though, and I only brought home two nice sized perch. I caught two more, but they were a bit too small to keep, so they went back into the water to grow up and perhaps we will meet another time. I also lost one, about the same size as the other two I kept, but it's difficult to tell when they are in the water. This is half the reason why I'm so tired out tonight. the other half is work. Yet another half is just not sleeping very good. As you can tell, three halves just don't work, but it is a good sign that I am way short on sleep. Like I said, I have not been sleeping the best, and have not been getting enough sleep even had I slept all night the last three nights. Then today, all that fresh air out on the lake just topped it all off. Now I'm tired enough I could fall asleep right here, typing. That was one of the draw backs to going fishing, being so tired. I would have enjoyed myself more had I been sleeping better and felt more rested up. Of course, some warmer weather would help, too. it was very cold out again today, and pretty windy. It wasn't as bad when we first went out, but it's picked up all afternoon. Then, to top it all off, I just have not been feeling the best. I thought for a while it may be my gallbladder, but it's gotten better the last two days. I'm still not feeling like my old self, but I am feeling a lot better. Only now, Rhonda has passed her cold on to me. I can feel it in my sinuses the most, although my throat is kind of scratchy now, too. I suppose she will finally get over her cold now that she has given it to me. I just hope it's short lived and I can start to feel better real soon. I don't like colds anytime, but right now I just don't have time to get sick. And, speaking of time, I need to start budgeting my time so that I can get some writing done. If I don't, I never will get to my writing. I seen that already, and just had another reminder this afternoon. There will always be demands on my time, and the only way I'm going to achieve my goal is to take control of my time and use it to meet my goals. I know it's going to be difficult, but I should be able to do this. I just need to designate a time to write, and that will be it. No alterations, no changes, and hopefully one hundred and one percent devotion to my goal. I'm so tired now I am having trouble focusing. That's the other reason I need to designate a time to write. If I don't, the only time I will get is the time I should be sleeping or doing something else. If I don't set aside a specific time to write, other things will continue to come up, and I won't be able to devote myself one hundred percent anyway. I mean, how am I suppose to write when I can barely hold my eyes open and my mind is wondering freely. Nope, I wouldn't get anything done, so I need to make sure I have things set to make it work for all involved. This is getting even worse; my mind cannot focus on a topic anymore. Just too damn tired, and no way to focus my thoughts. I need to write another hundred words, but it's getting harder and harder to get anything to flow out at all. The more I write the more tired I become and the more my mind tends to wonder. So, once I hit seven hundred and fifty words, I'm going to shut things down and just relax until everything works out properly. Tomorrow I will have to try and get in here to write a few reviews, read a bit, and try and post some more items in my portfolio. I have a short day tomorrow, so it should work out. For now, it's time to sleep... |
| Another day coming to a close, and I'm just getting in here to write. It's eight o'clock here in South Dakota, not very late, especially when I think about how I tend to be a night person, up to the wee hours of the morning. At least I used to be, and given half a chance, I still find myself up well past midnight. It's something I don't understand, but I do know that's just how I'm wired. As a child, I never liked going to bed early, but I didn't like staying up real late, either. I did enjoy waking early and enjoying the day. In fact, I hated to sleep in, wasting any part of a day. That's probably why I didn't like going to bed early, either. Friday and Saturday nights I did get to stay up late and watch the late late movie, after the news was over. I remember westerns and war movies with my dad, and horror flicks with my older sister. I suppose they ended around midnight, and then it was off to bed. Even then, I would be up around seven in the morning and ready to go. If we were going fishing, I'd be up even earlier, dressed and ready to go. Now, I still find myself not wanting to go to bed at night. I know I need to get more sleep, but I just don't want to end the day. There's always more I want to do, more that I didn't get to, and I know that's part of it. But, I have to work mornings now, starting work at a quarter to five. I live twenty five miles away, so I need to leave around four or shortly after, so I get up and three. This should have me plenty ready for bed by this time of the night, but it just doesn't seem to work that way. I can be dead tired at work, unable to keep my eyes open after work, but come time for bed, and I find myself with my second wind and ready to go. Often, like today, I am so tired by the time I get home that I can't really do much. I did get on the computer for a little while, but kept dozing off. So, I took a little nap, but did not hear the alarm and ended up taking a couple hour nap. That isn't helping me feel like I'm ready for bed. But even if I don't take a nap, I can be dozing off in my chair while on the computer, or falling asleep during a movie, but come time to go to bed, and I get another burst of energy. Just call me weird, I guess. There are some things I can do to help me sleep better. One is to use an aid to fall asleep, but I really don't like to do that very often. Another is get some good fresh air; something about being outdoors really tires me out and makes me sleep good at night. I also think if I get out from under some of the stress and find more time to relax, I would sleep better. Of course, getting back into my diet and exercise would do me wonders, and not just with sleep. But, I need time, and that is in short supply right now. Not right now as in this week, but since I took this job as site supervisor for a security company. It's getting better, we have a full crew and things are looking up. Hopefully they continue to work in this direction. We also have a second vehicle again, so less driving and more time, as well as saving a lot on gas. Also, spring is just around the corner, and with warmer and nicer weather, things should improve, too. I feel hopeful that everything is going to turn around and I will have more time to do the things I enjoy, less stress and more time outdoors, and above all else, more time to write. But, I also do not want to get my hopes up too high and have them dashed to pieces like they were last summer. Everything was looking good for the spring, we had just hired my wife and had a full crew, and I was looking forward to a nice summer. Then one guard started missing a lot of work, soon she was off work for some medical problems, or so she claimed. I say this because she failed to supply any of the documentation I needed, and eventually just stopped contacting me at all. Then, another guard started pulling a lot of little things. At first they were just annoying, but the more I tried to work with her, the more she worked against me and the policies of the job. I was already short on help, but knew if she did not straighten up her act, I would have to terminate her. She quit before it got that far. I managed to get another guard hired and trained in, but then lost another person to medical problems and was still very short on help. Then, I hired another and was just one person short on what we needed when I lost another. He had been warned, I had confronted him three times with corrective actions, and instead of doing his job right, he got even worse and I was directed to remove him. That left us with four people to cover the hours that should have had six people. Two of these guards were only part-time, and the one guy did pick up a lot of hours, more than he had wanted when I hired him, but he helped out. The other person however, could not work the hours I needed, was constantly needing the schedule changed, and then up and quit on me anyway. Eventually, by fall, we finally had a full crew for a while, but not until the spring and summer had passed. I had worked everyday from the end of April until the middle of September. Then for a short time, I was able to get a day off here and there, eventually two in a row. But then another person up and quit, and we went into the winter short handed and with little time off. Now, we are finally back to a full crew, and hopefully we will have a better year than last. It looks like I drifted a little off topic again, but that's what happens when I get tired. So, enough for now and off to bed. |
| Here we go again, Thursday's entry coming right up. It's kind of nice, I'm in here earlier again, and I really like it. I don't know why I don't just write this time everyday. Yes I do, but that would not sound as good. Actually, if I had control over time, I would set up a time to write in here, as well as in my stories and poetry. If; and that is a big if. As it is right now, I do not have much control over time at all, and I do not see it changing anytime soon. There are just too many outside factors that prevent me from having control, and I don't see them changing any time soon. For one, my job is too unpredictable. If someone cannot make it in to work, I am likely to have to fill that shift. If I'm at work and they do not show up, again, I will be staying late. That just comes with the position. It doesn't happen very often anymore, but it does happen. Also, when it does happen, if I cover the shift, I end up out of whack for a few days. See, I work the opening shift, so I get up at three in the morning on my work days. Now, if I get to bed on time the night before, I do pretty good. But if I have to work a double, it still burns me right out, and it's going to take a couple of days to get my sleep caught up and my internal clock back in sync. Especially if I have to cover a night shift. Then I'm really messed up. There is also the possibility that I may have to work on one or both of my days off. This has the same effect, only I don't end up working a double shift. Even so, my days off are for resting up, and getting caught up on things I cannot do at work. If I have to work on one or both of them, I do not get the chance to rest up, and I do not get my work done. This means I'm tired and can't do other things very well until I get my rest caught up.It also means I have a lot of things to try and fit in, since I did not do them while I was off. Another factor is family. I live with my wife, Rhonda, and she is great, but like any other couple, we are not always in sync, and she can put demands on my time right when I should be doing something else. She tries hard, but it's just one of them things. Of course, if I had a regular schedule to follow, she could too. But with my schedule so messed up, her's gets messed up, and that puts more demand on my free time. No fault of her own, and I do love our time together. This is just explaining why it's difficult to have my time under control, and nothing more. Another family member who prevents me from controlling my time is my brother. He cannot stick to a preset plan without having to change things. Also, he tends to work against me. For instance, if we were lost and following a trail that came to a fork, he would likely ask me what direction we should go. When I tell him, no matter how sound the reasoning, he will go the opposite. He has always been like this, and when I set aside time for something, he does his best to get that time away from me. For instance, a while back, Rhonda wanted to spend my birthday, just the two of us. She had some romantic plans for us, and told my brother that she had planned for me and her to spend the day, without company, since we had not had much time together for a long time. What does he do, he shows up with his girlfriend and their dogs. So much for any time together, he stayed till it was getting late and left after our bedtime. Yep, if there is a plan, he will do his best to disrupt it, and if time is an issue, he will make sure it is wasted on him. Of course, there is other family, and they can do the same, but most of the time they are pretty good. Just the luck of the draw, however, means they will call and need to talk when I don't have time to talk to them. For that matter, the world in general seems to do this same thing. Some folks are lucky in that time seems to work for them, but the rest of us are the unfortunate ones who have to constantly battle the world for a little control over time. Even then, it's a losing battle, what can go wrong will go wrong, and at just the same time as something needs doing. For example, we had two vehicles, but just when I wanted to get going good with my writing, a deer jumps right out of the ditch and creams out the front of the van. It was right before Thanksgiving, when demands for our time were coming in from family, for dinner; from work, the big sale the day after Thanksgiving, and my writing, I wanted to keep on writing after doing so well in NoWriMo. Now, lots of people hit deer, and the damage is bad, but they can still drive the vehicle. Nope, not Rhonda. She was in a string of traffic, so not speeding, and really had no place to go. She couldn't even stop real fast if she needed, since the idiots around here tend to ride so time on a person's ass you end up with a wedgie. Rhonda was back far enough to not give the person in front of her a wedgie, which gave this deer just the room it needed to jump and land right in front of her. it took out all the lights, the grill, and shoved the radiator right up into the engine. It hit hard enough that it deployed both airbags, destroyed the hood and left her without a vehicle. It was not in any condition to be driven without extensive and expensive work. So, add to my list, the insurance company and us down to only one vehicle. Now, we have to make numerous trips into town, or we have to sit and wait for each other. Not only did this take more time, but it meant that if I started something, I would have to stop to go pick her up. Since time was being unfriendly, it was difficult to know when, or if, I would get back to the task, so many times I just did not start them. Then, since the one vehicle we have is old and has many miles, and the weather is the coldest on record, we find ourselves having more vehicle problems and since I have no garage, and this thing is terrible to work on, I have to find time to take it in for repairs. These are some of the items that prevent me from having time under any control at all. Not the slightest control with these and the many other things that the world can toss up. Money problems and stress add to it, and then on top of it all, my dog get's old on me. She aged rapidly over the last year, and this fall she went down hill quickly. I hoped to have her make it through her birthday in December and enjoy one last Christmas with us, but time was not on my side. She passed away the first of December and left a void I doubt will never be filled. I have lost pets before, and it's difficult. But Klarissa was no pet, she was a part of me. One day, when the pain of her memories will not hamper me from getting everything out, I plan on writing about this exceptional animal who chose to share her life with me. Seriously, she chose me. I had thought about a couple different puppies and could not make up my mind. In fact, I couldn't make up my mind if I even wanted a puppy, when this five week old female decided to come find me. She would not go to anyone else, and we were not even sure how she was getting out of her pen. Then, one night she woke me crying at the bottom of the steps. She was so small she could not scale the step, but she was giving it everything she had. I picked her up and put her back in the pen with the mother and other puppies, went to the steps and watched. She came to the fence panel, and then this tiny little pup began to climb. Shaking with fatigue, she managed to make the top, and to my horror, was going to jump down the other side. She was small enough to fit in one hand, and I do not have big hands. The fence panel was three feet tall, and the floors were hardwood. I sprung from my vantage point and caught her just as she leaped free of the fence. I knew she would try again, so I gave in and assisted her up the steps to see where she was planning on going. I seriously thought she would hunt out my daughter, since she took care of the puppies. Nope, she went right to my bed and cried until I put her up on my bed. I had to work the next day, so I needed to sleep. I told this very young pup, "If you need to pee, and wet on my bed, you will never be on it again." I went to sleep with a tiny dog snuggled into my hair. Midway through the night, I woke to something gnawing on my nose, then my ear. I looked at the wee pup, who was now at the edge of the bed, and I put her down on the puppy pad I had set up for her. She piddled on it, then cried to get back up. She slept the rest of the night and we were seldom apart after that. For twelve years we shared many adventures, and cared for each other and did most everything together. Her abilities were limitless; she put Lassie to shame with the things she could do. But, as you see, I digress. Yes one day I will write about this marvel who was my best friend and as close as anyone in my life. But now it's time we are discussing, and it just ran out... Dinner is almost ready, and I have to get this copied and pasted in Writing dot Com. I write it here to use the features of this site, but I keep my journal in Writing dot Com. I know, it's silly, especially when time is an issue. Even so, it's one way I can try and hold a slight control over the time I have. We also have another vehicle again, so more time is available, and things are a bit easier again. Many of the other things are still trying to control my time, and soon there will be more time needed for work, but I press on, hoping one day, to have better control over my time. I know I will not ever have full control, but if I could have some control, that would be great. Even that would allow me to set a schedule and stick to it. Not a full day, not anything like that, but just enough to set aside a period of time for me to write, and another chunk for me to spend reading and reviewing. Alright, I guess I need a few chunks to distribute around. So lets say then, I hope one day to have enough control over my time, that the normal routines I need will be seldom interrupted by those outside forces that now prevent me from controlling my time, limited as it is. Well, I suppose that if you read this all the way through, I'm now one of those forces that takes time and you are short a bit of yours. This turned out to be a lengthy entry, but that's all right, sometimes I just need to write, and when I can take take advantage of the time to do that, I better take the time while I can, even if it means I took a little more from you than normal. Sorry for taking up so much of your time... |
| ere we go again. I'm writing this in 750 words and need to hurry a little so I can head off to bed. It's about nine thirty here, in South Dakota, which isn't all too late, but seeing how I have to get up at three, it's pretty late for me. I had today off, but did get up kind of early, so I'm tired enough to sleep. I also went out and got some fresh air, so I know I will sleep good tonight. In fact, I'm tired enough that I find myself having some difficulty trying to focus on what I'm writing, and that means I'm pretty tired. I feel like it's around midnight, or later, actually. Not because I was up that early, I didn't get up until around eight. No, it's the fresh air, I'm sure, that's got me so tired and ready for bed. I went out and did some ice fishing with my brother today, and spent most of the day on the lake. Well, it's not really a lake, a slew that's filled in from high water levels a few years back yet. And, while everything was flooding that spring, the fish must have migrated into this slew, and now that the water is down some, they cannot get out. We did pretty good on perch, and someone else landed a huge carp, but that is all I seen caught out of there today. No one else seemed to be doing very well at all, but we seemed to have hit the hot spot and kept a limit of nice sized perch. We had a bunch of smaller ones, too but we let them go so they can grow up and we can catch them some other time. We split what we had, my brother keeping six, and me with seven. That way, we each have enough for a nice meal of fresh fish. Even more important, we had a good time and a great day. The weather was super nice out again today when we headed out. It was sunny, and warm, with just a light breeze. by noon the wind had picked up and it had clouded over, but it was still nice. By one, the wind was getting pretty strong, but with the warm weather, it still was not bad out. it was cool enough we had to use the heater in the shelter a few times, but nothing like it has been for most of the winter. It was nice yesterday, too, but we are coming to an end on the nice weather for a while. Yesterday the forecast was for a little cooler, but not bad, tonight I see it has changed and now we will have more of the wicked cold moving in on us. Below zero at night and in the single digits during the day, again. Not quite as cold, but with the wind, it will be cold enough. This arctic cold just does not want to die off, and keeps holing in and holding in. It's kind of crazy, we are past halfway through the month of February and still having this extreme cold air move in and hang around for weeks at a time. Soon enough we will be into some warmer weather, but for now, it's another week or more of cold unless something really changes. Of course, that is always a possibility. After all, it was just this that put an end to the nice weather we were suppose to get, and bring us back into the bitter cold again. On the bright side, however, we are not suppose to get a lot of snow. Up to an inch is all, and that isn't so bad. In fact, we have not gotten much snow at all yet this year, and we could have easily been hit with some real heavy snow falls. Of course, it's only half way through February and March is the worst month for a lot of snow. So, we could still see a lot of snow come down. I hope not, but a little more would be alright. I don't mind the snow, I just don't like the bitter cold we have had this year. Hopefully, though, we will have the cold end and maybe have a wonderful spring. It's been a few years since we had much of a spring, anyway. I don't know, but that's what I'll wish for, a beautiful spring, and time and money to enjoy it. And, with that thought, I'm off to bed~ |
| Tuesday, my time and the end of the day. Time to write my journal and then off to bed. Why do the days off go by so fast, while the days at work go so slow? Relativity, that's why. Yes today was my first of two days off this week, and it was a pretty good day. Even though it was my day off, I spent a great deal of it working from home, catching up on some stuff that isn't real pressing, but needs to get done. I also made an online purchase for my fishing license, and that was quite an ordeal. I had my account set up with the South Dakota Department of Game, Fish, and Parks, but it did not work. I tried everything, but no luck getting logged in. See, they changed things, so now one user name and one pass word work for all the state offices. But, my one name and password just would not work. So, I went in and set up my account all over again, then finally was able to make my purchase, only to find it would not print. I tried a few times, changed settings, and just could not understand why I could not print out my new fishing license. Then it dawned on me, we had the internet fixed, and that required a new modem and a new network setup. Since the printer is wireless, it needed to be updated to the new setup, and I had not done that yet. So, I set the printer up and guess what? Yep, it worked like a champ. After I got done with some printing, and work, I started in on creating supper. I prepared the meat and sauce, put them in the slow cooker, then Rhonda and I took the dogs and went into town to pick up a few things. We could have waited with them, but Rhonda had not driven the new van yet, so this was her opportunity to drive it. After all, she had been cleaning it out all afternoon. It's in good shape, but the previous owner delivered papers with it, and had a rural paper route. This resulted in a lot of dust inside, and Rhonda spent a few hours cleaning it out. She still has more left, but it's a lot better than it was. I figured as long as we were going to go for a ride, we may as well go into town and pick a few things up. Rhonda drove in, we shopped, then I drove us back home. It was a nice night, but kind of busy in town. We got our shopping done, filled up on gas, and then I drove us home. Once we were home, we set about finishing our dinner, and then watched the tv for a while. Then, just when I was ready to shut things down and craw into bed, I remembered I needed to write in my journal, so here I am. Late on WDC, but it's only eleven thirty here in South Dakota, well at least on this side of the river. Dinner turned out great, but I ate a bit too much, then it was relax while we finished watching out program. After,we watched something different while we enjoyed some ice cream. Now, it's time to shut down and go to bed. I'm very tired suddenly, and that's when I remember I need to write in my journal. Tomorrow I have to be up kind of early, but not for work. No, tomorrow I'm up early just to get out and enjoy some fishing. The plan is to go out early and be in by mid afternoon. Then, I have ample time to enjoy some writing and reviewing, I hope. Of course, the plan can change easy enough, but I hope it sticks. I also hope it will be as nice tomorrow as it was today. It actually made it into the forties and wasn't windy. That alone is a rare thing in this state, and to be that warm is also rare fort this year. It's been so cold, always windy, and often wet. Oh, I also played with the dogs for a while today. Well, it should be, "Rhonda and I played with the dogs today." Not only did they get some fresh air, but they had a blast, too. In fact, Hannah really got tired out running though the snow. It was a good day, busy but good. Now, if the problems with the direct deposit are corrected, I should have a pretty enjoyable day fishing tomorrow. |
| It's funny how things work out sometimes. Frustrating as hell, but kind of funny, too. I'm talking about the van from my post yesterday. I was going to stop by the dealership today after work and tell him that it didn't work out, and that we would not be able to get it now. I was just about ready to leave work, when my brother showed up. The brother who was going to help us out, but then bailed at the last minute. He had offered on his own, and even after asking him a couple of times, he continued to say he could help us get a vehicle. Then, when it came right down to it, and it was time to go over and sign the papers, he bailed. At first, he was just going to use his credit card for the purchase, but then he decided he wanted to use cash. He had gotten the last portion of his student loan, and had ample cash on hand, but needed to get to the Bank this morning before we went and picked up the vehicle. If he had used the card, we could have picked it up on Saturday already, instead of waiting for him to go to the bank. Sunday, I stopped to talk to him about fishing. We had plans to go out on Wolf Creek, close to home here, but it was very windy, so I didn't know if we would go or not. the plan was for him to pick me up at work, leaving the Jimmy for Rhonda to drive home, and he would drive me home after fishing, since it was just a couple miles further. When I got there, he was dressed and ready to go, so I gave him the message from Rhonda. She wanted to meet him at the dealership to pick up the van around ten in the morning, before she went to work. That's when everything took a dive. He read the note and then told me he couldn't help out. He had the cash, but since this is almost the end of his schooling, he would need to pay back the student loan by late summer, and he didn't know how soon he could find work. Of course, this was always the case, nothing had changed, except he had logged onto the site and seen the size of his loan. His reasoning to cancel out our deal was simple, he wanted to save the money from the loan so he would have enough to make payments on the loan. I know, it really doesn't make a lot of sense to take out the loan, then save the money and use it to make payments, especially considering the interest. But, I could understand his thinking, he could hold on to the money and use it to make payments, buying him time to find work. I also know my brother, and he has been really enjoying not having to work. So, I assume the rest of his reasoning is to have enough cash on hand to hold off on getting a job, so he can enjoy the summer, then look for work in the fall. What ever his reasoning was, I was understanding and took the bad news about the vehicle with no complaints. Then, when I was going to drive the Jimmy back for Rhonda and have him drive me out fishing, he sprung more on me. He had changed the plan, but never informed me. So, now I would have to drive myself to a different place to fish, then drive back to pick Rhonda up after work. To top if off, we had to drive halfway across the lake, and it's a big ass lake. The wind was howling fiercely and creating some pretty large drifts, but we made it over to spot about half way across. Then, he tells me he hasn't fished this lake and has no idea where to go. This was the part that got my dander up, but I squelched it back down and we fished for a couple hours. Then, I had to go to pick Rhonda up, and made it in time. I gave her the news on the van, and we discussed other options, but we were not very happy with my brother backing out. Like I told Rhonda, if he wasn't sure, he shouldn't have offered to help out. Especially after we each asked him again if he was sure he could do it. He was sure he could put it on his card, and we could pay him back as long as it was enough to cover the payments and get it paid off before the interest kicked in. Now, however, he couldn't put it on the card, but he didn't really say why. For that matter, he didn't say why he couldn't use cash, since we would be paying him off with payments large enough to cover his loan payments. Like I said, it's my opinion that he had looked at the size of his full loan and it flared his anxieties up, and he was in a fit over the thought of having to pay back such a large sum of money. Today, he called, but Rhonda was just ready to leave for work, so she did not answer the phone, just noted who called and headed out the door. She told me my brother had called and that she had not answered it because she was heading out. She suspected he wanted to go fishing or something, in order to see if I was really pissed at him or not. I told her I wouldn't be able to go fishing, I had too much work to do when I got home. Besides, it was windy as hell again. Nice, but windy. I was just about to leave the guardhouse, when here comes my brother. I finished signing out and walked the yard while he tagged along and talked. He had printed out a copy of his loan, so I would know he wasn't just bull-shitting me on how much he owed. I really didn't need to see it, I had not considered that it may be a tall tale to get out of the deal. No, I just assumed he had panicked when he seen the amount due, like I said. Then, he took out another slip and went over his credit card he was going to use at first, before he had changed his mind and was going to use cash. He had the interest all figured out, and if we could pay it off in a year, we would be set, but if it went over a year, it was twelve percent on the balance. We discussed how much we could pay and he said that it was up to me, if I didn't mind paying the interest. So, we went over the purchase, and ended up right back were we had started when he first offered to help us out. |
| I just don't know sometimes. Or perhaps, I would be more correct to say I just don't understand. What I'm talking about is people. People who you care about and think they care back, but they do things that really make person wonder. A while back we discussed getting another vehicle. We crashed the van and are no down to one vehicle, so another is needed. Our jobs make it almost a necessity to have two vehicles or spend a fortune in gas. So, we discussed options, but there really aren't many to chose from. We put a lot of money into the vehicle that was in an accident and is now not able to be driven, and what little we could have used towards another vehicle has been sucked up in gas and repairs for the one we are now driving. We have no credit, thanks to past relationships and misfortune, so there isn't much we can do to purchase another vehicle. I had mentioned to my brother this very same situation. Because of limited income, we can't afford much for payments and coming up with a down payment is out of the question. What we have left for an option is to borrow from someone who will take small payments. This also means we can't get anything that cost very much, so a cheap vehicle that hopefully will hold together until we get it paid for. Of course, like I said, without help, we can't even do that right now. But, my brother said he would help us out. Great, now we just need to look around and find something decent. Only before we got that far, the one vehicle we have broke down and ended up in the shop -- again. My brother was nice and gave Rhonda a ride to work that day while I waited on the repairs so I could go get her. On the way in, she talked to him about getting another vehicle, and he again told her he would help us out. Just find something and let him know, is what he said. She did, she found a nice little van for twenty five hundred. Not a bad price, and I looked at the vehicle, it seemed like a great deal. I talked to my brother about it the next day, after he had told Rhonda he would help us out. I drove the vehicle we were looking at over to his place so he could see what we were getting, and asked him again, if he was sure he could do this. He said he could. But instead of riding back over with me to finish the transaction, he said he wanted to pay cash and to see if I could get the price down a bit more. He would also have to wait till Monday to get the money out of the bank. I took the van back, and we discussed the price, paying cash, and I got him to come down to twenty one hundred, four hundred dollars cheaper. He started the paperwork and I left. Today, after work we, my brother and I, were going to go ice fishing just a few miles north of were I live. We had worked it out so I could ride with him and leave Rhonda the vehicle. Less miles, less gas, and more time for us to fish. So, I had all my stuff in the vehicle and drove over to my brother's after work. It had not warmed up like it was suppose to, and it was very windy. Since he doesn't like to go out fishing when it's like this, I thought I would talk to him and see if we were still going out. Yep, we were. Great, I just had to give him a message from Rhonda, to meet her at the place we were buying the van Monday morning at ten. Had I not given him this message, I don't think he would have said anything. I guess he didn't want to give out bad news, so he just wasn't going to say anything. Instead, he was kind of put on the spot and had to answer. He was not going to help us out now, it was too much money. He did say he could still help out, like maybe five hundred bucks if we needed. So, no second vehicle, and no help. I swallowed it, and went out fishing with him like we planned. But, not only did he go back on his word about helping out but now he had also changed the plan on fishing. Instead of me leaving the vehicle for Rhonda and riding with him I would have to drive. See, if I was close to home Rhonda would drive herself home and my brother would drop me off after we got done fishing. Only now, we are fishing close to where he lives, and I will have to either have Rhonda pick me up or I have to pick her up. If I counted on him to get me back in time to ride home with her, he would be late, and if I counted on him to get me back in time to pick her up, he would make sure I'm late. He has done this a few times to me. So, I follow him out to the lake. This way, I can pack up and leave in time to go get Rhonda. We drive to the far end of the lake, out on the ice, and then all the way back to town on the ice. Only it's not just ice, it's a blowing snow, drifts, and pressure ridges. Then, when he gets over a ways, he stops and tells me he hasn't fished on this lake and he's not sure where to go. We discuss it a little, but my heart is not in fishing anymore anyway. I wanted to just have some relaxing time away from work and the rest of the problems, but that wasn't going to happen. I did make it back in time to get Rhonda, but not any time to spare. My brother packed up at the same time I was going to leave, so he didn't' really want to fish anyway. And that's what I said at the beginning, I just don't understand. Why say you'll help if you won't? Why bother to work out plans to do something so that it works for everyone, then change them and do just what one person didn't want to do? Why not just say right off, I can't help? Why not say, I don't want to fish over there, I want to fish here? Even more, why lie about it when you know that your not going to help, and that your not going to go with the plan? Right about now, I'd be willing to trade him off for a two thousand dollar van. Do you know anyone who would like a younger brother? |
| It's about bed time again, and here I am just getting in here to write. I'm in 750 words again, and doing good so far; today is my seventeenth day in a row. I'll copy and paste after i get this done. It's bedtime, like I mentioned, but not so bad tonight. It's Saturday night, and even though I have to work tomorrow, I don't have to be there before time starts, like the rest of the week. Sundays I get to sleep in and don't have to be to work until eight o'clock. This Sunday has a nice change, too. See, normally Sundays were a later start, but then I had to stay later, too. But not this Sunday, starting tomorrow, we will have three shifts going, so I will be done by noon. A four hour shift is going to be nice. After I get done work, I'm going to be heading out to the lake to try some ice fishing with my brother, Len. He will pick me up at work, so I will need to bring my stuff along in with me. Then, we go out fishing for the afternoon. When we get done, he will drive me home, since we are going to be fishing close to the house. This will save us some miles on the Jimmy, which means less gas, and therefore we save a little money as well. It will also save me some time, since I won't have to drive back in to pick Rhonda up. She will have the Jimmy at work and can just come home when she's done. Then, on Monday it's back to the routine of getting up before time, but it's only one day and then I have two days off. Rhonda will have three, and the way it's set right now, the week after I get three again. We switch off for the extra day off, so every other Thursday I get a day off with my Monday and Tuesday. That may be changing very soon, however. We are going to be getting another vehicle on Monday, not anything new, just an older van similar to the one we had. It's a couple of grand, not much for a vehicle, but it's all we can afford. In fact, we are kind of strapped right now, so we can't even afford that. But, Len said he would finance us, and we can make payments back to him. Hopefully we can get some extra hours here and there, so we can pay him off sooner. That's why I'm thinking of ending the extra day off every other week. Once we get into double coverage at work, we can pick up a few more hours, and that will help out, too. We can also cut back on a few other things, and find little ways to save a buck here and a couple more there. We should be able to pay it back pretty quickly, since he really doesn't have the money to spare either. Just having two vehicles again will save us fifty miles a day. That's a nice two hundred and fifty miles a week, at about fifteen miles per gallon that's a nice chunk of change each week. If I figured it correctly, that's fifty bucks a week, and two hundred bucks a month. Also, the van will get better mileage, so the actual savings will be higher. I may even double up with Rhonda a couple of days a week and just stay in town until she gets done. That would save a little more, too. I have my netbook, so I can go over to HyVee and log in on there WiFi and do some stuff online or else work on things for work, so I can get more of my stuff done at home. This will be easier now that we are getting into some nicer weather, or else I would have done this a bit more already. I have a couple of times, but with the dogs it's too cold if we bring them with. Things are starting to look up a bit, but it's going to be tight. Somehow, I know it will work, we just have to set our minds to it, and do what we can to try and get ahead a little again as well as to get Len paid off as soon as we can. I don't think we will get much back for taxes, but what we get can be used to help out, too. Also, I may be able to sell the other van and we could also apply that towards the amount owed. All in all, we should do pretty good. Now, if only the insurance would come through and we could get some money out of the old van to pay towards the new one. Well, I'm off for bed. |
| It's just about time to go pick Rhonda up from work, but I should have enough time to get this written first. It's kind of nice to be in here in the afternoon instead of late at night. I just hope things keep working in the right direction so this will be all the time instead of just some of the time. I worked today; my first day back after enjoying three days off. Two of them were with Rhonda, and yesterday by myself. I worked a little on Tuesday, my first day off, so I could get it done with and enjoy the other two. Things went pretty well up to the time we got ready to run into town. First we had a dead battery, and while we had that charging, I filled up the radiator and found a bigger leak. Even so, things were going alright up to this point. I tried to fix the leak, but didn't achieve much, so I knew we would have to take it in. I kind of suspected this anyway, but had hoped it would hold off until next week, after payday. With me off, though, all we had to do was get Rhonda a fill in and then we would be set to get it fixed, and neither of us needing to go into work. she called the guy who is always missing work and asking her to fill in for him. Even though she has every time, he told her no. This was the point of things going the wrong direction. It really upset me that he wouldn't return the same as he received. We managed, Len came and gave her a ride to work, and I got the Jimmy in to get fixed, had it done in time to go get Rhonda after work, and had a pretty good day. My new boss and the vice president were in the area and wanted to get together, but of course my vehicle was in the shop. It worked out nice, though, they visited with Rhonda, talked to store management, and stopped today before going back to Iowa and paid me a visit. They had planned to stop about the time I get done work, but showed up a half hour early. It was kind of busy but we had a good visit, but short. Even this was nice, because I got to come right home then instead of hanging around waiting for them. Of course, I had to stop and get a few things, put gas in and then came home, but it was still faster than if they had showed up later. I got us a bottle of wine to have with dinner, and also picked up a bottle of brandy for us. I stopped at the grocery store and picked up some ice cream and a nice roast to go with dinner, as well as a few of the items we are out of. Then it was off to get gas, and then come home. I got messed up when I went in to pay for the gas and put it on the wrong card, though. It should be fine, but it's kind of the idea. I had it going in, but then had to wait for a little bit for the gal in front of me to pay for her stuff. That's when I got myself sidetracked and messed up. See she was picking up a few things inside, so I didn't notice her until I went in to pay. She had just put a few things on the counter as I was walking up to pay, so I had to wait until she was done, since there was only the one person working. She was nice looking, around thirty, maybe a little younger, and wearing a pair of them fit like skin yoga pants. They really didn't conceal much, and I was enjoying the show as she bent down to pick a few items up. Then she got ready to pay, and reached in her jacket pocket. She then checked the next and again came up empty. She told the cashier that she knew she had grabbed her wallet, then proceeded to feel around until she located it. She had put it in her sweater pocket, then put her coat over it. Of course, I didn't know she had on a sweater at this point, only that she found her wallet under her coat. She had on a hooded, pull-over style coat. More of a jacket than a coat, but it doesn't matter. What does is that it was a pull-over. No zipper, no snaps, and no buttons, just pull it on. Well, in this instance, pull it off, which she did. She was turned sideways to me when she found her wallet and started lifting it off. But, as she did, she got kind of hung up in it, and twisted a little one way then the other. It was kind of snug fitting and it took a bit for her to get it to pull up and off, but she managed. This was fine, except her sweater came right along with it. The jacket pulled off, but the sweater only pulled about half off, with her arms still in the sleeves, the sweater half inside-out, and over her head. She was trying to pull her arms free, but the sleeves were long enough to just not quite pull off. She turned a bit more so she could let her jacket fall and free up her hands, and in the process turned to face me. I was watching her intently already, since she had no other shirt on under the sweater, and no bra, either. She put on quite a nice show as she worked to get her hands free and pull the sweater back down and over her breasts. Of course as she did, she looked right into my eyes that had been looking right at her breasts. Now that they were covered, I looked up, and of course was looking right into her eyes. She was blushing, I'm sure I was blushing, and the female cashier was blushing, but no one said a word. The gal, who had just flashed us a very nice set of breasts stooped, picked up her jacket, and then walked out the door and left. She also left all her stuff right there, on the counter. I can't say that I blame her, being in such an awkward situation, I would have done the same. The cashier moved the stuff over and I paid for my gas, but my mind was not focusing on my purchase so I handed the cashier the wrong card and didn't have a clue. I found out after the sale was complete, but then it was too late to do anything about it. No one said anything up to this point, but now the cashier, in a slightly wavering voice said, "Thank you, have a nice afternoon." I just smiled and said, "You to." What entered my mind however was the image of those nice breasts bouncing and jiggling as the woman fought with her coat, and I wanted to say, "I just did." |
| I'm getting in here a little earlier today, since I have the time. Rhonda's at work, Len gave her a ride, and I have the Jimmy in the shop getting fixed. So, there's not much else for me to do today except hang out and wait for the call saying I can walk over and pick it up. It was leaking a little anti-freeze for a while now, but very slow. Over the last week, it seems to have gotten a bit worse, but I just could not find where it was leaking. I figured I'd have to take it in and have it fixed, since I could not find the leak, and because it's just a difficult vehicle to work on. It doesn't help that I have no garage to work in, and that the weather has been extremely cold, windy, and miserable. But, I had hoped it would hold up till payday, Tomorrow. I would have two days off next week, Tuesday and Wednesday, and was thinking about taking it in for the needed repairs on Tuesday if he had an opening. We had Tuesday and Wednesday off this week, and I also had today off, so we rested up and got caught up on some stuff. Normally, Rhonda and I do not get the same days off, unless we have a full crew, and that has been seldom. We do now, and Tuesday we had a peaceful and restful day. I spent the afternoon working on paperwork, emails, and schedules, getting caught up. Wednesday we had the serviceman for the internet come out and get our internet working better, then got ready to go into town. See, we live in a very small, rural town. We have a gas station/service station, a cafe that's open until mid afternoon, a bank that's open until noon, and a post office that closes for a couple of hours in the afternoon. That's it for businesses, and if we need anything, it's a twenty five mile drive to the nearest town of any size. Our plan had been to run into town on Tuesday afternoon, but then the serviceman was suppose to show up. He didn't, but by the time we realized this, it was getting late so we decided to go in on Wednesday. The serviceman showed up in the morning and finished repairs about noon, then we did a little work on the computers and set things up for our new router. After, we got ready to go into town and do a little shopping so we could get home and make dinner. Since the anti freeze has been leaking out slowly, I wanted to top of the radiator before we left. Rhonda was just coming out as I filled it up, and she seen fluid running out underneath. Not real fast, but a trickle. Well, this meant it was now leaking faster than before, and it meant I may be able to find the leak. I got a light and looked around the area we seen the fluid, and sure enough, there was fluid running from the lower hose. I got a bucket and drained the fluid down, pulled the hose to see where it was leaking, and found nothing. The hose was fine, and the leak was someplace else. I looked, I poked my fingers around, but I could not tell where it was leaking. I knew about where, since it had to be running down the pump and on to the hose, but where on the pump was beyond me. Not that it mattered, I did not have the means to change it anyway. First of all, I was working outside, and secondly, it was cold out. Nice in comparison to our recent weather, but still cold, only in the lower teens. Finally, the vehicle is so crammed full, there's little room to work on anything, especially out in the snow. So, Rhonda called to see if we could get it in for repairs. He could, but it would take him all day. The job wasn't so big, unless there was more wrong than just changing the pump, but he would have to wait for parts to arrive, and they wouldn't get to him until around noon -- one o'clock. Also, he gets a lot of interruptions, so an hour long job could take two, maybe even three to finish. This was fine, except Rhonda had to work today at eleven, in town; twenty five miles, remember? It just happens, that Zack has been taking a lot of time off and having Rhonda or I fill in for him. Therefore, it only seemed logical to have Zack work for Rhonda this afternoon, so we wouldn't have to try and find her a ride. He told her no, he wouldn't work for her. So much for that idea, and so much for an easy solution. Rhonda ended up getting a ride in with my brother, who lives in town. That means he had to drive twenty five miles out to pick her up, then twenty five miles back. If that wasn't bad enough, the weather was terrible this morning. It started as a severe winter weather advisory with 30 to 35 mph winds gusting to 45 mph. But by nine this morning it had changed to blizzard conditions, winds at 35 mph and sustained gusts over 55. I had driven the short distance to the garage, dropped the vehicle off, and walked home. About a block and a half, maybe two. I could barely breath the wind was so bad. It was a struggle to walk against it, and it was blowing enough snow around to make visibility very limited. I was walking two blocks and it was difficult, he had to drive fifty miles round trip in it. But, we manage. That's all we can do, right? So around noon, the phone rings and I pick it up wondering if there is more wrong with the GMC than the pump. But it's not the garage calling, it's my boss. The Director of Operations out of Sioux City, Iowa. The last Director received orders and was deployed, so I have a new boss and he sent me a message, he will be in town this afternoon, can we meet up? I had to call him back and tell him I'm without a vehicle today. We had a good chat, but it would have been nicer to meet him. I did call the garage and it was the pump, no surprises there. He had the parts, too. That means he can put it all back together this afternoon, and I should have it in time to pick Rhonda up. Hopefully sooner, then I can meet my new boss, too. I explained the situation to the mechanic, but emphasized not to rush. If it's done in time, great, if not, no problem. He thought he could have it by three or three thirty if everything went well. Not problems with the work, but interruptions, as I pointed out. I'll keep hoping it works out in time, but time is running out quickly, and I'll likely not get a chance to meet this guy until later in the spring. But, I have time to write a bit, and that's what I'm doing. I would also like to get into some editing on a poem, but I know, with my luck, that as soon as I do, the phone will ring and I'll be off to pick up the vehicle. It's been damn near impossible for me to get anything done in WDC other than my blog, and even that has suffered. I'm still doing good writing in 750 words, and did not miss a day yet this month, but only because they are later than I am by a couple of hours, so I sneaked my entry in yesterday just under the wire. One day it has to get better -- doesn't it? |
| Wednesday's entry, but running pretty late. It's after one a.m. my time, and after two at WDC. Well, it's been one of those days. I know this is not in on time, so it will log as the thirteenth instead of the twelfth, but it's still in and that's the main thing. I started out good this morning, up around eight to the Hannah barking. I thought it was the service man from ITC come to work on our internet, but it was just the snow plow clearing out the road behind the house. Even so, it wasn't bad getting woke up at that time of the morning. I had gotten to bed kind of late, but with the late morning wake up, still had eight hours of sleep. Once up we had a little coffee, but instead of lunging around all morning, we set right into getting things done. About this time, the guy did show up to work on the internet, and we kind of put a few things on hold. It took him longer than he had intended to get us fixed up, but it worked out fine. He had forgot his laptop at work, so he didn't have the ability to set things up right. He used mine to access the new modem but had to use his cell phone to get the information from work. It worked alright, but was slower than if he had his computer and all the information available. Even so, by noon he had us up and running at a faster speed with a new modem. Our internet was working good, and he would have stuck around to set up the tv for access and my netbook. At the same time, he had to be over to the next town, twenty miles away, and the get back to the office for a meeting, so he was pressed for time. Therefore, I offered to set up the tv and the netbook on my own, so he could get going. Not that it would be hard, or at least, shouldn't be hard. It wasn't, I had the netbook set up in a few minutes, adn the tv shortly after. Now, I had to work on Rhonda's computer to get it running faster. She had a lot of start up programs running that did not need to run, and just too much going on at the same time. Half of the items I did not even know what they were for, and a few more were for services we no longer use. I got that all cleaned up, and then it was time to run into town to do some shopping. Since the Jimmy has been leaking anti-freeze, I wanted to top it off before we left. As I poured anti-freeze in, Rhonda seen it running out. I pulled the hose and checked it, but could not find a leak. I hoped it was just something simple, especially since that thing is a bear to work on, and I don't have a garage. It was pretty nice out today, for the winter we have been having, but it was still cold to work outside, especially on something wet. It reached the upper teens, almost tipped twenty for a little while. So, I pulled the hose I thought was leaking, then replaced it and started to put more fluid in. It ran right out. Not the hose at all. Sure, it was running off the hose, but the leak was higher up and it was running down the hose. I tried my best to see where it was leaking, but there was too much stuff in the way. I tried to feel where it was leaking, but it was too difficult to reach anything. I would say back to square one, but it was leaking worse today than it has been. I suspect a lose bolt, but I have no way of knowing or finding out. The local garage will look tomorrow, but if he needs any parts, it will take until mid afternoon to get them. Rhonda has to work, and needs the vehicle, and we need to have in the shop. So, Rhonda called the guy who always asks her to fill in for him. I have also filled in for him, and he owes a few people, but even given the chance, he was not going to pay anyone for anything. Another taker, but won't give back. We did get it worked out, but it was a pain. Now hopefully the garage can fix it and, it won't cost too much. We will see. |
| Another late one for me, but not a bad day, not bad at all. In fact, I had a wonderful day, and now it's wrapping up for a nice night. No work today, for me or Rhonda. We have not had more than a couple of days off together since November. We did have Thanksgiving and Christmas, since there was no work on them two days, but other than the holidays, we always have our days off on different days. It's been like that all spring, summer, and fall, except for a couple of months when we had our days off together. That was in October and November, when we had a full crew on. It wasn't the full month of October, since we did some training when we hired the last guard, but I do beleive we started getting our days off together the second week. Then, around the end of November, we had a guard put in her two week notice and ended up short on help again. We had hoped to get someone hired right away, but with Christmas right aroudn the corner, things started getting slow. They stayed like that into the first of the year, then we started to get a few applicants, but I think most of them just needed to put in an application so they met the requirements of unemployment compensation. None seemed to be serious, and few even replied back. There was one person I interviewed who was eager to go, asked for more hours than what I had available, and wanted to start right away. I set up training and had everything ready, but he never got back to me with the rest of his paperwork. In fact, I never heard from him again. Then, there was another guy who was ready to go, and we even had his paperwork all done. I scheduled his training and we were ready to start on Monday. Sunday he called and informed me he was offered a position at another place he ahd applied, and was taking that job. That's the way it's been, and that's had us short one person. We can cover the hours, but it does not leave room if someone can't make it in without creating a real hassle. Also, it means there is no way Rhonda and I can be off at the same time. So, we kept looking and hoping for the right person to come along. He did, last week. I interviewed him and he was set to go, serious about working, and open for just about any shift or day he would be needed. I got his paperwork done, scheduled his training and he tested last Thursday, and passed. It was kind of a rush training and testing for him, since it's done through our client, and they are short on help. But he passed, and Rhonda and I invested some of our own time to train and prepare him, just to make sure he's ready. He did work a few hours on his own Sunday, so we could go have a nice dinner for our twelfth anniversary of the day we met. Then it was back to work for Rhonda for the last hour fo the day to go through a closing with him. Today, Tuesday, was his first actual day on the new schedule, and I didn't get any calls, so I'm assuming things went alright. At least well enough that no one called me about anything. I expect there was a few little things, but that's normal with the little bit of training we get, and the amount of information we are required to absorb over that short time. As long as he learns from these little errors, everything should work out fine. He works tomorrow and Thursday, too. If everything goes well tomorrow again, we should have it in the bag. Thursday will be the day I will set aside then for some fishing, and Rhonda and I will again have two days off a week, together. Yeah, today was our first day off together since Christmas, and we enjoyed it. We slept in, got up and had a relaxing morning. Then I made us some brunch, Rhonda assisted, and then it was into the bedroom for some snuggling and loving. After, we took a little nap together, work up around one in the afternoon, and started our afternoon with a Bible study. Then it was an afternoon of work for me, while she took care of a few things of her own. I worked from home, sending in schedules, flow logs, and reports. Normally it would have been a lot less work but I got behind last week. Now, I'm about caught up, and hope to have a relaxing yet productive day tomorrow. I want to get into WdC for a while, and finish a poem I uploaded that needs editing. Other than that, I really don't have much for plans. We do need to run into town to pick up a few things, but that's also kind of open as of now. Mostly it's just getting rested up and having some time to enjoy together. |
| Kind of late again tonight, but not real bad. I could have gotten this done earlier, but I was just too tired. So, I decided to take me a much earned nap and get a little closer to being caught up on my sleep. Today would normally be my day off on the old schedule, but that all changed when we finally got someone hired. Along with having a full crew, we implemented a few other changes in the schedule. One is working Mondays now, but having Tuesday and Wednesday off, as well as every other Thursday. We have also split the weekends into three shifts instead of two. It used to be two eight hour shifts on Saturday and two six hour shifts on Sunday. Now, we have three five and a half hour shifts on Saturday and three four hour shifts on Sunday. This not only makes it possible to still do things on the weekends, even when working, but since weekends are the busiest days at work, the shorter shifts will be very nice over the summer. Finally, since I work Monday mornings again, it will be nice not getting home so late or waiting for Rhonda on Sunday nights. That's all coming up, even though this last weekend we started the new schedule. We were still training a new guard in, so Rhonda went in an hour before closing and walked him through the procedures. That made last night a late night, and since I was in town with her, a very long day for both of us. We made the most of it, since it was also our twelfth anniversary of the night we first met. It was quite by accident, her daughters and my daughter being friends, she had stopped to pick up her girls. She had also stopped the night before, on February 8, but we did not talk. I introduced myself, she shook my hand and turned and went back to the car to wait for them. The following night, however, they were not ready and convinced her to come in and wait. We talked a shot time then my daughter invited her daughters to go to the eel pout festival with her and her brothers. They of course wanted to, but mom said no, they did not have the warm clothing along they would need. Being a nice guy, I offered to supply plenty of worm clothing, if they wanted, and if mom was agreeable with them going. She had no further arguments, so the kids all left and she was going to go home and I was going to go out and have a few cocktails. I wasn't sure where, I just knew that having the night to myself without any kids as not an opportunity I wanted to pass up. But, being polite, I could not ask this woman I just met to leave so I could go tie one on. Instead I offered her an invitation to stay and talk a while. I didn't think she would, since she was in such a big hurry the night before, but she surprised me and sat down to visit. We talked, and then we talked some more and soon the night was half over and I was enjoying a wonderful conversation with this woman. The kids ended up returning home that night, sooner than they had planned, and the night ended, but Rhonda returned again. We talked, and went for a drive, then talked some more in the front yard. I found myself longing to kiss her, so under the cottonwood, we shared our first kiss. I learned later she wasn't so much interested in my opinion of what was wrong with her car when we went for a drive as she was interested in having some time alone with me. Seems we both longed for that first kiss. Shortly after, a discussion came up about Rhonda taking one of her daughters down to her sisters to visit a college. Sarah, the daughter, invited me along. I was polite and declined, but you know how kids are; persistent. I didn't want to infringe, but when Rhonda insisted that it would be fine, and she would enjoy the company, I agreed. We had it planned for separate rooms, just friends of course. That weekend I met her sister and about the time everyone had turned in, we also decided to head off to bed. Rhonda's sister explained the sleeping arrangements, which had Rhonda and I in the same room, and the same bed. Everyone else was already asleep, so it was kind of difficult to change things, and her sister had just assumed we were more than friends. Se went to bed, together, agreeing on being on our best behavior and just sleeping. And we did, until I got up part way into the night to use the bathroom. Then after crawling back into bed, Rhonda needed to go, too. She climbed over me, since the bed was up against the wall and she was on the inside. It felt wonderful to feel her body sliding over mine. When she came back, she again climbed over me and I again enjoyed it a lot. I turned to return to sleep, knowing it was going to be difficult, but she wanted me to hold her. So, I rolled over, put my arms around her and she snuggled back against me and felt how much I enjoyed her closeness. We soon began kissing, touching and you know the rest. We had a nice private room, but the duct work above us fed right into her sister's room and worked like an amplifier, so her sister heard just how much passionate fun we were having. We spent the second night there, as well, and this time we went to bed knowing that it was going to be passionate and intimate. We have been together ever since, and the passion intimacy are still just as strong, if not stronger. |
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