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126
126
Review of Just a Dream  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Review brought to you by:
"Game of Thrones"  Open in new Window. by Gaby Author Icon

OVERALL IMPRESSION -
I don't even know what to say about this piece. It's gripping, sad, filled with emotion, depressing, heartache.

WHAT I LIKED BEST -
That it was brutally honest about someone struggling through life and giving up on everything.

PLOT~
Life isn't what it was supposed to be. Each choice made leads you down a path and never knowing which one is the right one, sometimes leads to horrible outcomes. That is what happens here. One wrong choice after another that leads one to believe they have no heart or soul, that their angel has abandoned them and there is no coming back from all of the bad things they've done in life. Hope no longer exists. Even death seems like a waste of time.

CHARACTER(S)~DESCRIPTION~
You were able to reach into the darkest parts of oneself and really show how horribly difficult life and truly be. Not every gets the good breaks, and those that get one bad one after another lose all hope and once hope is gone, it is a complete downward spiral that feels like there is no coming back from it. This was the most heart-wrenching story I've ever read.

TECHNICAL~
all of your i'm need a capital I in them.
House Greyjoy image for G.o.T.

This would be my name.
127
127
Review of Turn Around  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Review brought to you by:
"Game of Thrones"  Open in new Window. by Gaby Author Icon

Rhythm/Rhyme
This was mostly a smooth read until the second to the last line. Not sure what threw off the flow for me. The rest of the rhyme scheme worked really well as the tale of these lovers takes a big turn after they've been together for years.

Imagery
You do really well with putting images into your reader's mind. I loved the line: young loves trace, reminding the reader of what relationships are like in the very beginning when you start to fall in love.

Impressions
Thing get really bad when you have to question if your partner is wearing a disguise. It is a bittersweet poem, filled with the highs and lows of this failing relationship. One is desperate to hang on, to show their love all that they have been and what they still could be. This leaves that question, how well do you really know someone? Not an easy question to answer for sure. Couples do drift apart and when they do it's a very sad thing to witness. You really hit upon that with good a pull of emotions the reader can identify with. Even as they question, terms of endearment still remain, which makes this heartbreaking.



House Greyjoy image for G.o.T.
128
128
Review of Stay  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Review brought to you by:
"Game of Thrones"  Open in new Window. by Gaby Author Icon

Rhythm/Rhyme
This had great flow and the rhyme scheme really worked well to detail the hunger in wanting her to stay. Each stanza added to the intensity, the longing.

Imagery
I could picture them spending time together, each moment etched out in his mind as he realizes the depths of his feelings for her, and how he never wants her to leave. It is almost like these feelings have taken him by surprise as he questions how love can make him feel lovesick. You described her smile, her eyes, and how time was not a friend, stealing moments away from the couple.

Impressions
Loved this. I could feel the longing, the craving, the pleading to get her to stay. Just the thought of having to wait until tomorrow to see her again is anguish for him. It's amazing how love can take over a person world and turn everything upside down. You portrayed that so well in this poem. I liked the repeating line at the end of each stanza that helped to showcase how much he wanted her to stay. The title said it all, and let the reader know where this was going. Fantastic read.



House Greyjoy image for G.o.T.
129
129
Review of Stars  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Review brought to you by:
"Game of Thrones"  Open in new Window. by Gaby Author Icon

OVERALL IMPRESSION -
You did a good job showing the dynamics between the cynic and the dreamer.

WHAT I LIKED BEST -
I loved how perplexing he found her, especially when it pertained to the stars. It was almost like they spoke two different languages, yet understood one another so well. He sees things in black and white and she lives in the gray areas.

PLOT~
A cynic falls in love with a dreamer who causes him to see things from her perspective, all the while he still finds it hard to believe she still likes him. He thinks of her beyond the outside of the box when it comes to her way of thinking.

CHARACTER~DESCRIPTION~
Solid descriptions that showcased your two main characters and how different they are. He points out all of the things that mean more to him than her shortcomings. That, in a nutshell, is what love is all about. Finding the wonderment in the things that make you individuals and relishing them. It's a rare gift to have that kind of insight.

DIALOG~
Their conversation about the stars was cute, funny and makes a person think. Having that kind of insight into the world, seeing beyond what is right in front of you and still finding that kind of beauty is a gift to be sure.

If this is based on fact, I wish you the best. Hold onto her.

House Greyjoy image for G.o.T.

This would be my name.
130
130
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Review brought to you by:
"Game of Thrones"  Open in new Window. by Gaby Author Icon

OVERALL IMPRESSION -
Loved this! Great ending that had me laughing so hard. You did really well with your three hundred word count, and the added humor was perfect! I admit at first between the title of your story and the use of DD, I read it as designated driver. Nice twist to the DD.

WHAT I LIKED BEST -
Everything. You did great describing the sheriff and his new deputy sitting in wait for the drunks to file out of the bar.

PLOT~
A sheriff and his deputy discuss entrapment as they wait outside a bar for the drunks to leave so they can nab them and get them off the roads. They watch as one man stumbles out, drops his keys, hits his head before getting behind the wheel and pulling out of the parking lot onto the highway. The sheriff is puzzled when he passes all of the DWI tests that he should have failed.

CHARACTERS~
The sheriff who believes he's doing his job is thrown for a loop and outsmarted by the DD. The deputy who thinks they shouldn't be lying in wait outside the bar. The DD who outsmarts them and gives everyone else a good head start.

DIALOG~
The dialog was great. I liked that the deputy questioned the sheriff about this stake out, and how confident the sheriff was with his job. I could completely picture the Sheriff's confusion as the DD explained what those two little stood for. Great job!



House Greyjoy image for G.o.T.

This would be my name.
131
131
Review of Emergency Room  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Review brought to you by:
"Game of Thrones"  Open in new Window. by Gaby Author Icon

OVERALL IMPRESSION -
You have a pretty good story here with a hospital room setting. The only thing that was missing for me was not knowing who your main character was. A man, a woman, just something to help me catch a glimpse of this person.

WHAT I LIKED BEST -
Good descriptions of their surroundings and how all of that waiting was driving them crazy.

PLOT~
Someone is in the emergency, hating the blue gown that covers next to nothing. Wires are hooked up all over the chest, and one from the finger, the nurses have stopped coming in to check on them, the activity of visitors in the hall have stopped as well. Tired or waiting and wanting to know the time, they finally turn their cell phone on and are shocked to discover where they really are.

CHARACTER~
Your main character is in the emergency room, forever waiting. They tell the story of all that has happened, the gown not having enough material, being told to turn the phone off, getting to keep the shoes, etc. Even describing the soft music playing wasn't enough for me to make that connection to where they were now. That was a good information plant because I totally dismissed the clue.

TECHNICAL~
move at all I flashed anyone
House Greyjoy image for G.o.T.

This would be my name.
132
132
Review of My Uncle John  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Review brought to you by:
"Game of Thrones"  Open in new Window. by Gaby Author Icon

OVERALL IMPRESSION -
I love stories of deeper connections, soulmates, twin-souls, the one true love, whichever label you choose. You really showed the depth of their love, and how he couldn't go on without her.

WHAT I LIKED BEST -
It is a bittersweet story. Sad because he loses the love of his life, struggling every day to move forward with his life, and sweet because he'd go to any lengths to be with her again, including walking into the icy waters where she lost her life. You described that scene of him wading into the water well, with the sun reflecting off the water, blinding him.

PLOT~
John and Karen are an inseparable couple, pledging their souls and lives to one another. An accident takes Karen from John, and he struggles to move forward without her. When her ringtone plays on his phone he is stunned, but her message is clear and he must go to find her, reunite with her.

CHARACTERS~
John who cannot bear to go on without his true love, finds himself going to extraordinary lengths to be with her again. Karen cannot wait any longer and reaches out from beyond to bring him back to her.

TECHNICAL~
drew him into her dark home. I believe if you were to add 'she drew' it would read better.
House Greyjoy image for G.o.T.

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133
133
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Review brought to you by:
"Game of Thrones"  Open in new Window. by Gaby Author Icon

OVERALL IMPRESSION -
It is an interesting conversation between a Priest and a man on death row, just before he's off to be killed. The conversation I didn't expect as they discussed religion, matters of the heart, and those that believe.

WHAT I LIKED BEST -
Knowing it was this last conversation, I was glad that it wasn't a confession seeking forgiveness. John has great arguments about crime and punishment, setting examples of people who commit crimes and how they come from different walks of life.

PLOT~
This is John's last opportunity to speak to his pastor before he leaves death row and walks to his impending fate. The two have a good conversation as time draws near.

CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT~
The priest who is there to see his friend off. John, who's on death row. I liked that there was an honest friendship between these two, which really made the Pastor seem more human. I think we sometimes forget that just because they took a vow doesn't mean they aren't just like us. You showed that very well.

DIALOG~
A dialog only piece, you captured the banter between these really well. It was easy to follow along with their conversation and leaves the reader with something to think about.

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134
134
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Review brought to you by:
"Game of Thrones"  Open in new Window. by Gaby Author Icon

OVERALL IMPRESSION -
This was a really good short story, filled with sadness. Your main characters uncertainty was hard to hide, almost as if he knew this would really be their last goodbye. It was easy to get lost in the scene because your descriptions were great.

WHAT I LIKED BEST -
The ending. That one haunting line about her smile not meeting her eyes really stood out. Even when they were in his bedroom, touching one another, kissing, making promises wasn't as big of a moment as when he looked at her for the last time.

PLOT~
A solider is getting ready to go off to war, and he's worried not about dying, but that the woman he loves will move on while he's away. They make promises, she tells him she loves him, and yet as they say their goodbyes, he notices that her smile doesn't reach her eyes. That was a very descriptive moment that really showed why he was so worried in the first place.

CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT~
They both were sad that he was leaving, that was easy to pick up on, but his heartache really pulled at my heart. I was so hoping there would be some hope here, and while there was, the ending dashed it all away.

DIALOG~
The dialog was smooth. He needed to know she would be there, that she truly loved him and while she said she did and even went as far as saying she'd be waiting for him, he didn't buy it.


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135
135
Review of Toxic  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Review brought to you by:
"Game of Thrones"  Open in new Window. by Gaby Author Icon

OVERALL IMPRESSION -
I love that a prompt sent your way really inspired you to step out of your comfort zone and write, and what a fantastic story it was. You had great emotion as she went through why she loved him, and why he's toxic. I was sitting on the edge of my seat wondering how far she'd let things go and you didn't disappoint.

WHAT I LIKED BEST -
Everything. I was drawn in right from the beginning and you easily kept my attention right through to the end. I think I liked the strength and presence of mind she had while she was with him, all of the reminders of who he really is.

PLOT~
Ex's meet up again. She still loves him and cannot seem to stop herself from going to meet him. Once there, he breaks her heart again, and it isn't long until she realizes all that he is and why they are no longer together.

CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT~
Definite character growth here with her showing up at his door to see him, her heart still longing for him. As they talk and all of those old feelings are stirred, it also triggers all of the reasons they parted ways, to begin with. Great emotion. It's very relatable as well. This is a piece to be proud of.

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136
136
Review of The Stroll  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Review brought to you by:
"Game of Thrones"  Open in new Window. by Gaby Author Icon

OVERALL IMPRESSION -
I wasn't able to see the picture prompt, but it really wasn't necessary. After leaving the bookstore she was completely drawn to the store across the way, almost as if it were calling out to her.

WHAT I LIKED BEST -
I liked that a mother's love is eternal and never goes away. You showed that with the woman pushing the baby stroller through the mall, and fighting to the get the wheel unstuck from the doorway. When she goes into the store, you set the scene well with the smoke of incense, the clearing, and the nice aromas coming from the store.

PLOT~
A different take on crossing over to the other side. It was interesting and showed that when your number's up, it can happen anywhere. The mall is the last place I'd expect helpers to wait to carry out the task, but one really does never know.

CHARACTERS~
The woman whose time has come. She doesn't bother talking to her lover who is engrossed in books, so she decides to venture off on her own. Willy and Jordan who discuss how difficult it was for the woman to let go. Jordan is a bit confused, but Willy is there to help him understand better.

DIALOG~
Dialog worked well between Willy and his protege. Jordan still has questions and Willy's knowledge showed as he spoke about a mother's love, helping him understand more fully and how things will be when his mother crosses as he waits for her.


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137
137
Review of The Solemn Vow  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Review brought to you by:
"Game of Thrones"  Open in new Window. by Gaby Author Icon

Rhythm/Rhyme
Good rhyme, rhythm, and flow throughout your poem. I appreciated the explanation of the quatrains at the bottom of the poem, helping those who wouldn't know what it is called to become familiarized with this style. The rhyme scheme was obvious and your word choices were great.

Imagery
You have a gift when it comes to not only painting a picture with vivid images but keeping a constant flow of the piece as well. You gave background information about the plague, and how it swept through Rome and what it did to everyone it touched. From funerals to caskets of blood, to the people trying to save the dying until the big reveal at the end, all of it pulled me right into the scene.

Impressions
This is a dark poem about death and solemn vows that cannot be broken. The rhyme scheme was incredible as the story unfolded about all everything that was happening in Rome during this deadly outbreak. Even knowing what the title of the poem was, I didn't see that ending coming. I was too caught up in all that was unfolding to remember that your title hinted at what was to come. Very haunting.



House Greyjoy image for G.o.T.
138
138
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Review brought to you by:
"Game of Thrones"  Open in new Window. by Gaby Author Icon

PLOT -
It seems unimaginable, but a within a few decades, big changes have happened. Decisions of man have dire consequences as one girl tries to imagine what the world must have been like when her grandparents were her age.

SETTING -
From beautiful flowers growing, and full trees of green, to the barren world now that has lost all of its beauty. The weather has changed drastically, those high temperatures even with an air conditioner are stifling.

CHARACTERS -
The girl who's heard her grandmother speak of what things used to be like when they were younger. Man had become too selfish and cut down all of the trees, tainted the rivers, no more forest or animals. What is left? Just us to carry on.

GRAMMAR/SPELLING/DIALOGUE -
No dialogue, no technical issues.

THOUGHTS -
This piece really makes you stop and think. I cannot even imagine my world without all of this green in it. The leaves and grass would turn to dust, leaving an unappealing view for certain. It's amazing the things we take for granted, even after being told what could happen if we don't start paying attention and make changes for the better instead of the worse. You do well with showing contrasts in your writing.
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139
139
Review of Lost in Thoughts  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Review brought to you by:
"Game of Thrones"  Open in new Window. by Gaby Author Icon

PLOT -
A lonely man recounts the tale of his life. Beautiful wife, smart and driven son, a good job, blessed in retirement, and then one little moment in time his entire world is turned upside down, and now just getting through one day is a trail.

SETTING -
It was easy to picture the digging of the sewer pipe, being lost in thought as he dug, and of course when he hit that wire and it exploded all over him. Yuk! And because of that, weather doesn't bother him, not the intense heat, or the bitter cold.

CHARACTERS -
The man who had everything and then lost it all, who waits for death to come and take him home, yet that day doesn't seem to want to come.

GRAMMAR/SPELLING/DIALOGUE -
An year after we got married,

an year ago,

THOUGHTS -
It is very true that one instant can change your entire life. You really showed that well with the big highs in his life, and the lows that came after losing his son. From one tragedy to the next, his life has taken one hit after another, and while losing everything he held dear, he is still around. He's the one the people look at now and use to scare their children. Sad tale, and imagine this could totally be true for someone out there. Good details with the history of his life and the things we take for granted every day.

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140
140
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Review brought to you by:
"Game of Thrones"  Open in new Window. by Gaby Author Icon

PLOT -
A missing girl has everyone puzzled. Katie Viola gets ready to play and is having trouble with her strings, but manages to the take the stage.

SETTING -
The story starts with the mystery of a soon to be a pop star who disappeared. Kaite has been playing her viola on the street corners, parks, anywhere she can get a gig and get lost in her music.

CHARACTERS -
Katie has changed her name, and moved from doing the big star gig, to being a little unknown where she gets to bask in her craft!

GRAMMAR/SPELLING/DIALOGUE -
I liked that the announcer had so much confidence and knowledge about Katie as she introduced her. That really was a testament to how good Katie is.

THOUGHTS -
You did a good job working in your prompt words and made it easy for me to see what they were. Using italics at the beginning put emphasis on the missing girl, which still remains a mystery. You never say what happened that day, but you do go on to show that she's all right and has chosen a different path for herself. It's a good take on fame, and how not everyone is comfortable being famous. Keep writing flash fiction! The more you write, the more comfortable you will be doing it.
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141
141
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Review brought to you by:
"Game of Thrones"  Open in new Window. by Gaby Author Icon

PLOT -
You never know where you'll be when you run into a potential person to date. Your character starts out in the soup kitchen when he sits with a woman wrapping cutlery and is soon joined by another.

SETTING -
My favorite part was him describing what his face must have looked like when she Patty asked for his phone number. Not very romantic, but truly funny. That made me laugh out loud. That one little word ~ constipation ~ really put a clear visual in my mind as to what his face must have looked like. You did a good job of making me care about him, root for him, and even feel bad for him knowing he had an ex-wife. There was enough detail about the soup kitchen to give me a sense of what his day was like working there.

THOUGHTS -
I really liked that you not only wrote about this incident but that you engaged your reader as well, speaking directly to me. That added another dynamic to the story as you knew what I was thinking in regards to what happened afterward. I also liked that you incorporated a David Letterman style top ten list. Each number seemed like a plausible explanation as to why she never called him. The added humor really made this piece stand out. Did you write a follow-up piece?
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142
142
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Review brought to you by:
"Game of Thrones"  Open in new Window. by Gaby Author Icon

PLOT -
A plane crash has left two survivors on a deserted island.

SETTING -
Good descriptions of the crash through Nicole's sluggish memory. I could picture Nicole's leg and the scene around them, especially the fire.

CHARACTERS -
Nicole is injured from the crash, and doesn't remember what happened right away. Adam steps up and helps Nicole out of the wreckage and worries about her leg wound.

GRAMMAR/SPELLING/DIALOGUE -
Finally-comma- he reaches a decision,

just ask my ex wife ex-wife

~Both characters had some inner dialogue. You could put that in italics to make it stand out more.

THOUGHTS -
I liked that you showed this story from both of their point of views. It was really easy to identify with what Nicole was going through as she tried to make sense of what had happened to her. With Adam there, she had someone to lean on for emotional and physical support. Adam's worry about Nicole's injury was evident, but he still tried to take care of her. I feel there is a bond brewing between your two characters even before they are rescued. You use the ellipses in a few different areas in the story. I understand why you used them when one character was stammering with speaking. I'm not sure all are necessary. I did like what you did with the prompt.

House Greyjoy image for G.o.T.

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143
143
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Review brought to you by:
"Game of Thrones"  Open in new Window. by Gaby Author Icon

PLOT -
Prince Comely is desperate to prove to his father and twin brother that he deserves the title of King one day and that he is more than just a pretty boy. As their allies turn to enemies, the King sends his oldest son on a mission to gain help from Magical Realm.

SETTING -
Great job with this! Good descriptions of the brothers and how different they are. The scene with Comely watching the woman fighting the pack of wolves was vivid and pulled me right into the action taking place.

CHARACTERS -
Prince Comely who is the opposite of his brother the warrior. Comely wants nothing more than to prove his worth, and being a diplomat isn't accomplishing that for him. The King seems proud of both sons, but knows with Comely being the oldest, he must do something to show he's worthy of the title and saving their Kingdom as the enemies ban together.

GRAMMAR/SPELLING/DIALOGUE -
famous for its rich lands lands

Take take great care in

trail leading beck~back? to the river.

Her hands held high the hem of her dress high

along the sad~sand and into the

At that instant he realized disown~his own peril.

Dialogue worked well in the conversation between the King and his son. I could feel the urgency from the King as he spoke to his son.

THOUGHTS -
I loved this story! I was immediately pulled into Comely's predicament, and rooting for him. He was brave enough to set out on this journey to get help for the Kingdom, and even though there is danger for him right now, he's still fighting. You left me hanging at the end with him jumping into the rapids as the wolves descended and I'm dying to know what happens next. There was enough backstory to pique my curiosity and keep me reading, and with the added action it really came together and had me on the edge of my seat by the end. Excellent job.

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144
144
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Review brought to you by:
"Game of Thrones"  Open in new Window. by Gaby Author Icon

PLOT -
Ronan and the crew of the Stormlight have an encounter with Adrian of Nightmare on behalf of the Phantom. They know that Ronan holds an object that the Phantom wants returned and threatens to fight them all to get it back. Katelyn and Ronan share a moment.

SETTING -
There were good descriptions when Stormlight appeared out of the clouds, and of what Phantom and Adrian looked like. You set up a tense situation over the box, enough that Ronan felt they needed to leave the area asap.

CHARACTERS -
There are a lot of characters introduced in your first chapter. I wondered if a romance is brewing between Ronan, the captain, and Katelyn.

GRAMMAR/SPELLING/DIALOGUE -
Katelyn hollered to the baffled crew

Your dialogue felt natural between the characters. I would suggest that if you sending this in to book publishers that you make each section of dialogue it's own paragraph. Rather, when one person speaks it's separate from others speaking and separate from the narrative. It makes it easier to read to more appealing to the eyes.

THOUGHTS -
You have a lot going on in this first chapter. Ronan and Katelyn appear to the be the main focal point, as well as the Phantom and the box Ronan turned over to him. I wasn't exactly sure who Luther and Thomas were. That paragraph seemed out of place and needs a bit more explanation. I'm thinking this is going to be a rebellion and war between factions on the same ship. Maybe adding some additional thoughts by Ryder, Luther or Thomas would make that clear. It is an interesting story.
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145
145
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Review brought to you by:
"Game of Thrones"  Open in new Window. by Gaby Author Icon

PLOT -
Alice is home from work and hops online to chat with her mystery man. The night moves quickly as they get caught up in conversation. She steps away to discard the remnants of her dinner and upon her return to the pc, she notices a message she missed early, which scares her enough to take matters into her own hands.

SETTING -
You pulled me right into the story. I liked how you differentiated between the action and what was happening on the pc screen with a different font. The story moved quickly with good descriptions of her apartment, cat and her feelings upon seeing the strange man lurking across from her apartment. Her smile after the shooting is creepy.

CHARACTERS -
Alice is a strong character, who got caught up in a bad situation. I felt so bad for her when the cops discussed her situation, and then again when I read the outcome of the story.

GRAMMAR/SPELLING/DIALOGUE -
The banter on the pc was fun and made me laugh. No other issues found. The surrounding conversation after the shooting shocked me.

THOUGHTS -
Really good short story. The mystery of Alice's attacker is still a complete mystery. I am left wondering what her fate will be, though totally understandable. One little type was all it took to set poor Alice in motion and the outcome itself was a sad one.
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146
146
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Review brought to you by:
"Game of Thrones"  Open in new Window. by Gaby Author Icon

Rhythm/Rhyme
You used the rhyme scheme aa~bb throughout. You did a good job with the rhyming words you chose to tell the story and add depth to what was happening.

Imagery
You have a good handle on putting in just enough imagery to catch a glimpse of the scene, yet leave our imaginations to fill in the gaps. This is a sad poem as a conflict has happened and it will not have a resolution it seems. The silence mixing with the wrath in the fourth stanza is really eerie.

Impressions
Wondering about death is something we all seem to do on occasion. Those questions always linger as to what we leave behind, what happens when we cross over. This left little time to drag out the question as death came fast. I keep wondering who the He is in this poem. You are right about forgiveness being a rare thing these days. So many seem to hold onto grudges and never really move forward in life. That is a sad irony when forgiveness comes, yet it is too late. Like any good mystery, you left me thinking about this poem and with unanswered questions. I liked that main character was surprised by the last thoughts to cross his mind. Nicely done!




House Greyjoy image for G.o.T.
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In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.0)
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"Game of Thrones"  Open in new Window. by Gaby Author Icon

PLOT -
The constant crying from the neighbors house sends a boy next door to try and figure out what is going on inside. When his friend, Bugs' arrives, they investigate.

SETTING -
You had good descriptions of the cats crying out and the disarray of the house itself. You gave enough information from your main character to know that he has a good relationship with his elderly neighbor, Bidi. I liked the description of the clothes she constantly wore, and the differences between the inside and outside of her house.

CHARACTERS -
Your main character is the storyteller and I believe a teenager. He seems just as worried about what will happen if his mother comes home and hears the cats as he is about what may be going on next door.

GRAMMAR/SPELLING/DIALOGUE -
She’s actually pretty nice but she defiantly looks like a crazy cat lady ~~ I believe you mean definitely??

And I sure didn’t want to stick around to find out what she will do when she heard it.~~would

Out of the corner of my eye[comma] I saw the curtain move, and that~the cats were now gone.

she sometimes sits at her table

I waited to hear who ever to banging on the door, but no sounds came. --needs an edit. whoever is one word.

~~There are other grammar issues. You might want to try using Grammarly to find the mistakes. It's free online. www.grammarly.com

THOUGHTS -
Toward the end when the police are called, it is a bit confusing because there is dialogue that comes out of nowhere. It might read better if you showed the officers coming out of Bidi's house to tell them what they had found. The mystery is left unsolved and leaves the reader wondering what really is going on in that house, where Bidi disappeared to, as well as the new tenants that seem to come and go, no one staying there too long.

House Greyjoy image for G.o.T.

Image #1539895 over display limit. -?-
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Review of Song of silences  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Thank you for entering "WFTH Poetry Contest - ON HIATUS "  Open in new Window. by Purple Catching Up Author Icon

Following the Prompt: *Checkg*
Line Count: *Checkv*

Rhyme/Rhythm/Flow:
Great free verse poem that captures a friendship through time.

Emotions/Imagery:
This poem is filled with imagery and emotions. The last stanza especially stood out for me. A shimmering mirage sums up all of the emotions built up over the years. The deafening silence that can be so unwelcomed. Passion contrasts to frustration, almost like a roller coaster with great highs and lows.

Impressions:
Relationships can be difficult, even at their best. This poem is bittersweet, and that was easy to feel. Disappointments, yet the fairytale remains. All of the things left unsaid that could either clear the air or make the silences remain forever, that no one dares speak of.
Really solid writing. Thank you for sharing.
This would be my name.

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Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Thank you for entering "WFTH Poetry Contest - ON HIATUS "  Open in new Window. by Purple Catching Up Author Icon

Following the Prompt: *Checkg*
Line Count: *Checkv*

Rhyme/Rhythm/Flow:
Good flow throughout your poem. It almost felt like a build up from the beginning, reaching out for the strong ending.

Emotions/Imagery:
Great word choices that brought images to mind. I especially liked the line: A purposeful pattern designed. I loved the reference to Earth's energy, which made this piece almost pulse on the page.

Impressions:
I do appreciate writings that give the authors take on infinity, how we evolve in this circle of life. You did a really good job with the prompt, bringing this song title to life.

This would be my name.

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Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Impression:
The Daily Flash Fiction Challenge is a WdC contest staple. Each day the new prompt comes out at 11pm in the evening. The challenge of the Daily Flash is to write a solid story using a maximum of 300 words, that must include at least 1 character, setting, a conflict, and resolution. The prizes are fair and this contest gets a lot of traffic. The paid is laid out well, and what's not to like about the use of Purple? Multiple judges run the contest. This is a fun contest and well worth entering.
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