I loved the twist at the end where the mysterious monolith ended up being nothing more than a glorified appliance. It was an amusing twist after some excellent buildup in Dilby's (and the audience's) expectations. You also did a great job with Dilby's character, as an expectant and excited young student.

Archmage Crumble felt a little too silly as a character, both proclaiming that an ice cream dispenser is better than some kind of more serious magical purpose, and not really acknowledging that Dilby just skipped class to race over to see what the monolith was. Without some kind of backstory or understanding of the relationship of these two characters, Crumble seemed a little ridiculous and it would benefit the story to have him more serious in one or more facets (e.g., he calls Dilby out on skipping class, he doesn't pretend that the ice cream dispenser is better magic than a summoning artifact, etc.) so that the amusement of the moment isn't outweighed by the silliness of his character.

Overall, this was a fun and entertaining flash fiction story. Well done!

I really enjoyed this short story. Flash fiction of only a few hundred words is really difficult to do well, and you managed to describe a vivid scene well in that amount of space.

No suggestions come to mind.

Overall, I thought you did a good job with this piece, particularly with your detail and description. Well done!

I enjoyed the twist at the end; it was a darker ending than I had envisioned and I really liked the subverting of expectations that you were able to pull off. I also like the fact that you turned the prompt phase into a key object in the story was pretty clever. Nice job!

I didn't see where the "holiday" genre elements worked their way into the story, which seemed to be a second part of the prompt. I think this would be a pretty easy fix; with more than 500 words remaining before you hit the word limit, there's ample space to work some kind of holiday element into the story as well.

The last line (Chloe yelling "MO-OM"), for me, cut a bit of suspense and tension out of the very end of the story. I think if you had ended on just Rainbow Bunny's foot from under the pillow, the story would have ended on a really sharp, exciting note. Adding the extra reaction from Chloe at the very end made it less surprising and made it feel more like just another round of bickering between siblings. I think the story would be better off ending on the shocking moment revealing what happened.

Overall, this was an entertaining story and a fun take on the prompt. I really enjoyed reading it. Nice work!

This was a really great take on the prompt. I love a good "deal with the devil" story and the fact that was the connection and we didn't know until the third version of the story was a great twist. All three characters were well-developed, and it was fun to see how the three different parts of the story connected with each other. Your character development was really good, especially given the word count restrictions for this contest; each character had their own unique voice which made each section of the story distinctive.

If there was a weak point in the story, I think it was the first version of the story told from Thomas' perspective. With the deal being made between the second and third character, Thomas' perspective is somewhat unnecessary and only adds to the story in the sense that he's the target of Constance's revenge. Given that you only used about half of the 300 word limit for that point of view story, I would have loved to have seen that part expanded and more tied in with the rest of the narrative. For example, what if the devil had made a deal with each of them and was collecting at the same time? Or what if the devil was there in the elevator to make a deal with him to save himself? It felt like there were some missed opportunities with how Thomas connects to the other two, beyond just being a foil.

Overall, I really enjoyed this story. I think it was well written and compelling, and you've got a great foundation to tell a really exceptional story through three different perspectives. Nice job!

I remember reading Jack London in school and being amazed at the worlds he was writing about. He was never my favorite author, but he so vividly captured the subject he was writing about that you couldn't help but find it fascinating. I really like the fact that you include both biographical information and list other works from his bibliography beyond his couple of more famous stories.

In the second paragraph, you say, "I first read Jack London as a young lad in Berkeley, California." But in the third paragraph, you start with, "I first read Jack London's stories when I was traveling with my father and family across the US and Canada in 1967." There seems to be a little confusion here about where you first experienced reading these stories.

While I agree with the premise that you can still enjoy the narrative qualities of classic stories even if they contain problematic elements, I'm not sure the assertion that there's "nothing to be gained by focusing on those attributes of the story." In my experience, acknowledging concerns and problems is important, and it's often through the discussion of the quality of the work despite being written in "less enlightened times" that we're most often able to learn valuable lessons about the world and our place in it.

This essay did a great job of highlighting the exciting and interesting parts of Jack London's literary legacy, as well as pointing out some of the problematic elements of it. Through it all, your appreciation of his work shines through!

This is a familiar take on some of the age-old questions in Batman's character history, namely how far he allows himself to be pushed by grief, and his refusal to take another person's life, even his archenemies and supervillains who repeatedly escape from custody and cause immeasurable death and destruction.

I like the fact that you managed to fit so many different characters from Batman's rogues gallery into this comparatively short piece, and provide some details about how the deaths of Alfred and Robin have affected Bruce.

This piece felt a little short on narrative. We're first introduced to the fact that Alfred and Robin have already died, so the story basically starts with Bruce refusing to be Batman, suffering the death of Jim Gordon, and picking up the cowl again to hunt down Joker and start beating him up (presumably headed toward actually killing Joker this time). There's not a lot of story there that isn't in the form of "telling" (i.e., the narrative just passively says it's happening rather than pulling the reader into the world you've created), and I think the piece would be a little stronger with some more narrative detail for the reader to really sink into.

Overall, I'm a big fan of Batman comics and alternate universe versions of those familiar characters, so I really enjoyed your piece on a conceptual level. I do think there's room for improvement in the execution itself, specifically, but I think you have a really good foundation here. Nice job!

You did a good job capturing the essence of what it's like to look back on one's life when you're on the downhill side of things, where the focus on things becomes less aspirational and more retrospective. I particularly liked the lines, "When I was young I wanted maturity, now I wish for youth."

For me, there was a bit of confusion in the juxtaposition of the concept of years flying by and time increasingly speeding by as you age, but also "have tried sitting bored." The visuals of sitting around bored (something that typically is seen as a drag on time) are a little at odds with the flow of the piece. I think I see the point that you were trying to make, but phrasing it a little differently might smooth out the read a little bit.

I really enjoyed the message and the thought behind this piece. Good job!

The ideas you presented in this piece are really intriguing, and I appreciate the bibliography at the bottom of the essay for those who are interested in learning more. I'm not familiar with either of the references you included (even the concept of Divine Intelligence as it's presented here is somewhat new to me), but you did a good job of giving the reader a clear foundation for the premise.

It was a little unclear what your take on Christianity is (as it relates to Divine Intelligence). At certain points in the essay, you seem to say or imply that the Christian faith "gets it wrong" about certain precepts or beliefs. But then other points in the essay seem to reinforce Biblical doctrine (including places where you mention that Divine Intelligence actually makes sense out of certain things in the Bible). By the end of the piece, it was difficult to tell where you felt Christian doctrine falls in relation to Divine Intelligence.

I think it would also be worth exploring Divine Intelligence as it relates to other world religions as well. Which is not to say that this needs to be an exhaustive dissertation on all the world religions, but this concept of Divine Intelligence is essentially a different take on the concept of a higher power, which is recognized in many world religions. If, instead of just Christianity, you were to juxtapose Divine Intelligence against the basic tenets of Christianity, Islam, Hinduism, and Buddhism, roughly 75% of the world's population would be covered by this essay rather than the only 30% or so who are familiar with Christianity.

Overall, other than those minor suggestions, I think this is a good essay that effectively details and interesting set of philosophical beliefs. Nice work!

I enjoyed the philosophical questions asked by this poem. The struggle between good and evil, and right and wrong, is something that I think everyone can identify with. Similarly, I think we all ask ourselves at one time or another what our true nature is given our own inherent contractions and moral conflicts, and I think your poem did a great job of capturing the essence of those questions.

The two middle stanzas felt a little disjointed, which I think might be due to the imperfect rhyming couplets that don't quite match what you did in the first and last. While there's nothing inherently wrong with imperfect rhymes in poetry as a whole, having them side by side with other actual rhyming couplets accentuates the differences and makes for a somewhat uneven read.

Overall, I enjoyed this poem. I thought the subject matter was great and it was really thought provoking. There's a bit of room for improvement in the execution itself, but you've got a great foundation here to work with. Nice job!

You did a really good job of providing a lot of context and Biblical reference points for your argument. For those who are familiar with the concepts you're discussing, I think it's a well-reasoned, and well-written piece that really makes your point well.

For those who are not familiar with Christian theology, it feels like this piece would have a hard time connecting. It begins with essentially an assertion that everyone's a sinner, and is incapable of fixing that on their own. And while that's not untrue, in my experience it is a viewpoint that takes a considerable amount of time and investment to get nonbelievers (or even some Christians!) to fully comprehend, and dropping that on the reader at the very beginning as a statement of fact could potentially make it difficult for some readers to identify with the valid point you're trying to make.

Overall, I thought you did a good job with this piece. Depending on your audience, it could either be a very effective way of presenting the Christian beliefs about sin in a succinct and clear way. Nice work!

I liked the imagery in your piece. Autumn is my favorite season, and you did a great job of capturing everything that I've come to love about it: the leaves, the changing weather, days getting shorter, etc. You really managed to capture the essence of the season in comparatively few words. Nice work!

The syllable count between lines in the first stanza had a large disparity (6-7-10-11) which led to a bit of an uneven read to start off the poem and made it difficult to get into a rhythm. With all the other lines of the poem between nine and eleven syllables each, I'd recommend extending those first few lines by a few syllables to match the structure of the rest of the poem.

The three lines that jumped out at me "weather is up here and there and all around" and "God paints his pictures and leaves quarters" and "Peaceful thoughts hugs and bubbles for you" as I wasn't entirely clear what the intent was behind those lines. They were beautifully written, but I'm not entirely sure what point you were tryign to get across with them, or what the imagery was supposed to convey.

Overall, this was a lovely poem that really captures the essence of the season. Nicely done!

This was a delightfully twisted flash fiction story that gets right into the heart of things and leaves the reader with a compelling twist at the end. In only a few hundred words, you did a great job of conveying a complete story, which is not easy to do!

There's an instance in the fourth paragraph where Gilda is referred to as "Golda," which I assume is a typo? Similarly, in the sixth paragraph it says that Bradly dropped "four small piles" into one of the glasses, which I assume was meant to be "pills."

While I enjoyed the twist at the end, it's a little unclear why Bradly felt the need to also kill Gilda's brother when he came calling. Earlier in the story it mentions that Gilda and Bradly last argued over ten years ago, so it's a bit curious why Bradly would feel the need to immediately commit another crime when someone comes around inquiring about his long-dead wife (presumably at that point he would have the death certificate and other established bits of story to fend off any initial inquiries). It's also doesn't make sense that he'd be worried about Mrs. Jones seeing him dig up any more of the yard if the last time he did it was ten years ago.

It can be really difficult to tell a comprehensive story in under three hundred words, but I think you did a good job with it. There are a few areas that need to be fleshed out and developed a bit, but other than that, this was a very entertaining read. Nice work!

I love the imagery and the atmosphere in this poem. I've actually never heard of this contest before, but it looks fun and I think your entry was a great take on the prompt. Your language choice and structure were excellent.

The only thing that didn't quite work for me in this poem is that, narratively speaking, the first half of the poem seems to be about the narrator moving (with words like "stumbling," "staggering," "wandering," etc.), and then it abruptly shifts to stillness, being trapped in a prison, curling up into a ball, waiting, being bound, etc. The juxtaposition was a little jarring for me personally as I read it.

Overall, I really enjoyed this poem. Your descriptive details, structure, and take on the prompt were all really engaging.

This was a beautifully written story. I particularly liked the worldbuilding with the bartender who can create drinks that dredge up memories; it's a great expanded fantastical take on something that people try to do at bars with alcohol (i.e., get lost in their thoughts/memories) in the real world. The story was well-paced and moved along briskly despite covering a fair amount of information, and the amount of detail description in the prose was just enough to create a vibrant picture for the reader without slowing down the pace of the read.

I found the lack of proper punctuation around the dialogue a bit hard to follow along with in certain places. It seems that it was a stylistic choice for this piece (it's too consistent to be typos/technical errors) and while breaking the rules can sometimes be effective or even accentuate the piece, in this case I thikn it was a detriment because there were several passages where I had to go back and re-read them, not realizing they were someone's dialogue. Adding in the correct punctuation would help the flow of the read even more, I think.

I was also hoping for a bit more exploration from the narrator. The world you've created with the alcoholic alchemy is so creative and interesting, and yet the srtory only really delves into one memory and has the narrator contemplate a second. I would have loved to have seen this story explore that dynamic in more depth; maybe he does try a memory drink he doesn't like and returns it, or wants another of the same, etc. As it exists right now, the narrator is in a bit of a contradiction where he seems eager to sample different drinks, but then only really focuses on the one. I think having the character go more intentionally toward one side or the other would round out the story a bit more.

Although there were a few areas for improvement (suggested above), I thought this was an excellent piece that was well written, well considered, and leaves the reader with a feeling of nostalgia and even a bit of wistfulness. That's not easy to do with a piece this short, but you sure managed to make it look easy. Nice job!

The pacing of this piece was excellent; you managed to fit a lot of action, dialogue, and detail into a comparatively short flash fiction story. The twist at the end was also unexpected and really entertaining.

It's a little unclear how Keck was attacked by a harpy. Earlier in the story it's just mentioned that Keck is "shoved into a dark doorway" but it's unclear whether they're inside, outside, whether the door is open, etc. Because of that confusion, the "pain exploding from his abdomen" and "from above there came the beating of dark wings" felt a little out of place since we don't have a clear sense of geography and where the characters are currently standing.

Other than that minor descriptive issue, I thought this flash fiction story, as a whole, was a very entertaining and well-told story. Nice job!

I really enjoyed this story. With comparatively few words, you managed to tell a compelling and evocative story with just enough details to keep the reader's attention. I thought the dialogue was used sparingly and to good effect.

Some of the dialogue was really impactful, and I think it might be one of those cases where traditional formatting (i.e., dialogue beginning a paragraph or standing alone as a paragraph) might be more effective. I'm all for stylization and breaking the rules when it's effective, but having some of the dialogue as their own paragraphs might help to make those moments more impactful.

I thought this was a well-written item that did a great job of telling a complete story in very few words. Nice work!

"The Road Less Traveled" by Robert Frost is one of my all-time favorite poems, so the fact that this piece both alludes to it and mirrors some of its structure was a real delight for me personally.

I don't have any specific suggestions for improvement; this piece was a delight to read just as it is.

I thought you did a wonderful job with this poem. It was just the right blend of familiar/reminiscent of Frost's original, with a unique/modern twist of your own. Wonderful job!

I thought this was a fantastic poem. I love the subject matter, and the language was both sophisticated and evocative which matched my expectations for what a poem about black holes would read like. I also absolutely loved the fact that you increased the kerning and stretched out the word "spaghettified" so that the word itself became an embodiment of the concept. That was a really smart way to add some variety and uniqueness to the poem. Well done!

I don't have any suggestions for improvement. And based on the fact that this piece apparently won first place (and a trophy!) for the contest in which it was entered, it sounds like I'm not alone in thinking it's great just the way it is!

This was an excellent poem about a really interesting topic. Well done!

This was a sweet story with a lot of good details. I like the fact that the problematic coffee habit was a problem throughout the story, and that it was a lighthearted tale that saw good humor in a situation that could otherwise be quite annoying and scary (i.e., missing a flight because airport security found something concerning in your suitcase).

In the opening sentence, I think "again" would be better suited at the end of the sentence to create a more fluid read (i.e., "Rushing through the airport doors, I glance at my watch again."). There's also a typo in the opening paragraph ("I have told myself a million times, and everyone in my family, that I drink [too] much coffee."

My only big suggestion with the story is that it felt like the protagonist's reaction to finding the coffee can in his suitcase. Earlier in the story much is made about how late he was for the flight and how annoyed he was about it, which kind of undermines the idea that he would find anything about this funny if a potential missed flight is in the back of his mind. You might consider making the setup for the story a little less stressful for the character so that he's more open to finding humor in the situation.

The humor he finds in the situation also feels a bit over the top for what it is. This felt like a bit of a delivery problem, where the way he was laughing and had tears streaming down his face and couldn't control himself preceded the explanation, so the reader's expectations are set incredibly high that it's going to be truly hilarious, but then the reader gets the punchline and it's more amusing than laugh-out-loud funny. I'd recommend trying to reconcile those two things, either by downplaying the reaction a bit leading up to the explanation, or by increasing the amount of humor in the payoff.

Overall this was a fun and enjoyable read. Nice work!