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4,613 Public Reviews Given
4,742 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I believe in constructive criticism and honesty. I can adapt my review style to fit the kind of feedback an author is looking for (e.g., developmental suggestions, fine-tuning, proofreading, etc.), but will always try to be as encouraging and helpful as possible.
I'm good at...
Plotting, characterization, dialogue, structure/pacing, and professional considerations. I can also do serviceable technical editing/proofreading, but I'm much better with developmental/creative feedback.
Favorite Genres
I read almost everything. I particularly love genre fiction (mystery/thriller and science fiction/fantasy especially) and nonfiction of all kinds.
Public Reviews
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226
226
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Free Folk  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
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Hi twyls

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion. *Party*


*Firework* Positives

I really enjoyed this play on Keats' "Ode to a Grecian Urn." You included a lot of great, evocative details and made the piece unquestionably your own while maintaining a familiar connection to the original.


*Firework* Suggestions

In the Author's Note, there's a small typo. It says "early oughts" instead of "early aughts" when referencing the original date of composition.


*Firework* Overall

Overall, I thought this was a great piece. Well done!


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Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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227
227
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Free Folk  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
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Hi Carl Brianson

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion. *Party*


*Firework* Positives

I really liked the sentiment behind this piece, and the idea that it's a form of battle hymn is really inspiring. Well done!


*Firework* Suggestions

The structure of the piece feels like it needs a little finessing. At certain points it feels like it was intended to rhyme or have some symmetry in structure (same number of syllables per line, etc.) and that structure falls away during other parts of the piece.


*Firework* Overall

Overall, I enjoyed the read and think you're definitely on the right track. Nice job!


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Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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228
228
Review of Ode To Comedy  Open in new Window.
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Free Folk  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
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Hi Drew

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion. *Party*


*Firework* Positives

I really enjoyed this perspective on comedy. I think you did a great job pointing out the different ways in which comedy can exist.


*Firework* Suggestions

For a piece that emphasized the versatility of comedy (dark, political, raw, satire, jokes, etc.), it seemed that there was a specific focus on slapstick comedy with multiple lines of the poem dedicated to it as opposed to passing references about the other types. My suggestion would be to pick one or the other (either give every type of comedy the same general, brief mention... or expand the piece and dedicate a similar number of lines to each type of comedy you mention). As it is, it felt like the poem was kind of highlighting one style of comedy over the brief mentions of the others.


*Firework* Overall

Overall, this was an engaging, interesting item. It was a solid read. Good work! *Smile*


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Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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229
229
Review of day break  Open in new Window.
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hi Paul

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion. *Party*


*Firework* Positives

I really enjoyed reading this piece. I thought you presented some very thought-provoking questions and added enough of your own perspective and setting details to make it feel like more than just a rhetorical question. This was a solid read!


*Firework* Suggestions

No specific suggestions for improvement.


*Firework* Overall

Overall, I thought this piece was very good. Nice work!


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Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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230
230
Review of Twisted  Open in new Window.
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (3.0)
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Hi Brandy Sue Wells

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion. *Party*


*Firework* Positives

The sentiment of the piece was great. It was a really evocative and effective piece that causes the reader to really contemplate our lives on Earth.


*Firework* Suggestions

There were a handful of typos in the piece...

"Life is different for each and every one of us."

"... you should walk a mile in my shoes."

... as well as some misplaced punctuation, and the item type is listed as poetry when I think it might be better classified as prose or something along those lines.


*Firework* Overall

Overall, I really enjoyed reading this item. Nice work!


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Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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231
231
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Free Folk  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hi DestinyAwaitsDarling

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion. *Party*


*Firework* Positives

I thought the formatting of this piece was really unique and interesting. It helped accentuate the content and distinguish it from other poems with similar themes.


*Firework* Suggestions

No specific suggestions for improvement.


*Firework* Overall

Overall, I thought you did a really god job with this piece. Nice work!


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Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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232
232
Review of The Maze  Open in new Window.
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with I Write  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi Purple Catching Up

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*Train* Positives

You did a great job with the setting and the basic narrative in this story. 300-word flash fiction stories can be really tough to tell completely without resorting to something that's more along the lines of a vignette, but you managed to give this story the feeling of a much fuller tale that could be told if you were interested in expanding the word count. It's not easy to make a story this short seem like that's possible, so I thought you did a great job with that aspect of it.


*Train* Suggestions

I would have loved for the limited dialogue to give just a bit more context for why Chris and Tiffany were making out in a corn maze that everyone (including Andi) was participating in. Did they know Andi was with them and were just taking an unnecessary risk? Did Andi come separately and just happen to be there? I think a little added context about the character motivations and which character character knew what would help smooth over that bit of the story.


*Train* Overall

Overall, I thought you did a great job with this Daily Flash Fiction Challenge entry. Well done!


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Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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233
233
Review of A moment in Time  Open in new Window.
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (3.5)
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Hi Katsuwright

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion. *Party*


*Firework* Positives

This was a really evocative piece. The writing was clear and thought-provoking.


*Firework* Suggestions

In the intro description of the item, it says "starring into the sky" rather than "staring into the sky". It's also labeled as poetry, which feels like it might be a little off. This would probably be more correctly characterized as prose or something similar.


*Firework* Overall

Overall, I thought you did a good job with this piece. Nice work!


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Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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234
234
Review of Inspiration  Open in new Window.
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hi Udy

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion. *Party*


*Firework* Positives

I thought you did a good job capturing the feeling of what it takes to be inspired, and offering a positive message for the reader.


*Firework* Suggestions

No specific suggestions for improvement.


*Firework* Overall

Overall, I really enjoyed the read and thought you did a great job inspiring the reader. Well done!


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Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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235
235
Review of Masked Lucidity  Open in new Window.
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
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Hi Gonzo Deleon

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion. *Party*


*Firework* Positives

I really enjoyed this poem. I thought it was well-structured and the imagery was excellent. You did a great job of telling a compelling story in poetic verse form.


*Firework* Suggestions

No specific suggestions for improvement.


*Firework* Overall

Overall, I thought this was a solid read. Nice work!


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Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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236
236
Review of Thailand  Open in new Window.
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hi kimauge

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion. *Party*


*Firework* Positives

I thought you did a great job describing your trip to Thailand. You made effective use of detail and description; I could easily imagine what you were writing about and it made me want to go back to Thailand again!


*Firework* Suggestions

No suggestions for improvement.


*Firework* Overall

Overall, this was a great read focused on your travels. Well done!


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Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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237
237
Review of Co-dependence  Open in new Window.
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
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Hi A.D.Davis

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion. *Party*


*Firework* Positives

I thought the theme and the imagery were excellent. You did a great job of depicting a co-dependent relationship, and I really loved the way you wrapped up the poem into such an effective final line at the end.


*Firework* Suggestions

The internal rhyme scheme of some of the stanzas didn't always match, which made the read a tiny bit uneven.


*Firework* Overall

Overall, this was a solid read. Nice work!


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Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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238
238
Review of Golden Skull  Open in new Window.
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: ASR | (4.0)
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Hi RockeyHarley

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion. *Party*


*Firework* Positives

I loved the twist at the end. It was unexpected, and yet entirely fitting and worked really well with what narrative you'd set up before. Nice job!


*Firework* Suggestions

No specific suggestions for improvement.


*Firework* Overall

Overall, this was an entertaining flash fiction story. Thanks for the fun read!


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Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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239
239
Review of The Hollow Words  Open in new Window.
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hi AuroraDiem

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion. *Party*


*Firework* Positives

I really enjoyed this poem. I thought the structure was excellent and the questions that are asked are intriguing and thought-provoking. This was an excellent, well-rounded piece. Nice work!


*Firework* Suggestions

No specific suggestions for improvement.


*Firework* Overall

Overall, I thoroughly enjoyed reading this. Nice work!


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Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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240
240
Review of Autumn Walks  Open in new Window.
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hi My Little Musings

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion. *Party*


*Firework* Positives

The description in this item was excellent. You managed to paint a really vivid picture of the setting and the character in less than three hundred words, which is not easy to do. Well done!


*Firework* Suggestions

The piece felt a little more like a vignette than an actual story due to the fact that there wasn't much in the way of narrative. Stories are really tough to tell in so few words, but I found myself wanting just a bit more of it.


*Firework* Overall

Overall, this was well-written and an enjoyable read. Nice job!


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Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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241
241
Review of The typist in me  Open in new Window.
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hi handlethispenname

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion. *Party*


*Firework* Positives

I really enjoyed this poem. The imagery and the message of the piece were really compelling. The structure was effective and the pacing was really good.


*Firework* Suggestions

I don't have any specific suggestions for improvement.


*Firework* Overall

Overall, I really enjoyed this piece. Nice work!


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Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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Review of stop loving  Open in new Window.
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hi bibiz

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion. *Party*


*Firework* Positives

I thought you did a great job with the imagery and the structure of this poem. It was evocative, easy to read, and really emotionally impactful.


*Firework* Suggestions

No specific suggestions for improvement.


*Firework* Overall

Overall, I thought this was a really great read. Nice work!


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Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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Review of Creativity  Open in new Window.
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hi Rayyna

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion. *Party*


*Firework* Positives

This poem had a really interesting, evocative take on creativity. I like the way it was described; you did a great job of painting a vivid picture and offering some good advice to creatives while you're at it!


*Firework* Suggestions

No specific suggestions for improvement.


*Firework* Overall

Overall, I thought you did a good job with this piece. Well done!


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Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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244
244
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hi Con

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion. *Party*


*Firework* Positives

I enjoyed this story. You did a great job including a lot of vivid and memorable details, especially considering how few words are in the piece. You did a great job of engaging the reader throughout.


*Firework* Suggestions

No specific suggestions for improvement.


*Firework* Overall

Overall, this was an entertaining read. Nice work!


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Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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Review of Autumn  Open in new Window.
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (3.0)
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Hi Urja Agarwal

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion. *Party*


*Firework* Positives

I enjoyed the imagery in this piece. I thought it was a really vibrant piece to read and really captured some of my favorite things about the autumn season.


*Firework* Suggestions

Due to the disparities in the number of syllables, some of the lines read a bit uneven for my tastes, but that's the only real quibble I have with an otherwise enjoyable poem.


*Firework* Overall

Overall, this was a great read. Nice work!


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Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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Review of Cordial Cemetery  Open in new Window.
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
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Hi Burt Yonik

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion. *Party*


*Firework* Positives

I really enjoyed the mystery and suspense elements early in the story. I liked the fact that there were unanswered questions and a lot of possibilities to play with; the hallmark of a good suspense story is its ability to keep the reader guessing, and you did a great job with that all the way up until the end.


*Firework* Suggestions

It was a little stranger to have the point-of-view character in the story be referred to as "the stranger" at several points, especially since the reader is following along with his experience of the narrative.

The ending, to me, was a bit of a letdown after all of the possibilities that were established earlier in the story. There's the potential for a supernatural element, a lot of really dark possibilities, etc. and yet the story just sort of ended on a matter-of-fact note where everything was adequately explained and everything ended up just fine. I was hoping for a little more payoff for the suspense that had built.

TYPO: ... rows of headstones looks like an ideal spot for an employee in need of a mental respite after a busy morning.

TYPO: After browsing through a small grouping of headstones lined against the iron gating, he decides on crossing a small hilltop extending deeper into the graveyard.


*Firework* Overall

Overall, I think there's a lot of potential for this story. The execution needs a little work, but the foundation is there for a really great tale. Nice work!


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Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
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Hi flashramey

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion. *Party*


*Firework* Positives

I really enjoyed this poem. I thought you did a great job of capturing the struggle with communicating to foster/adopted kids the truth about their original circumstances, and whether it's better to tell them or to leave them in the dark. It's something that I think every adoptive parent struggles with to some extent, and you did a great job of capturing that emotional journey in this piece.


*Firework* Suggestions

No specific suggestions for improvement.


*Firework* Overall

Overall, I thought this was a great read. Nice work!


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Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (2.5)
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Hi TIMOTIN

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion. *Party*


*Firework* Positives

I thought you did a really great job with the dynamic between Michi, Hisako, and Hikari. The reader gets a clear sense of the deep relationship that the three of them share, and there's a feeling of a larger world beyond just the events of the story. Nicely done!


*Firework* Suggestions

From a technical standpoint, there were quite a few typos and grammatical errors that caused the story to read not as smoothly as it could have. I'd recommend a thorough proofread in order to catch small details like the following:

"Too bad, I've taken this brat of an angel of yours away from you thee. Try to get me." It should be either "you" or "thee", but not both. And I would recommend choosing either "brat" or "angel" as the subject, and doing away with "of yours" because "I've taken this brat of an angel of yours" feels a little clunky and overly descriptive. "I've taken this brat away from thee." or I've taken this angel away from thee" is much more streamlined and clear.

"It have a knife a knife on its right hand." At a couple of different points, the words "on" and "in" are transposed.

The bigger picture note I have, though, is to consider the information that you're presenting and the order in which it's presented. In the very first paragraph, you tell the audience that "Hikari is cooking rice with chicken stew" but then there's also a conversation about what Hikari is making right after it. Telling the audience the same information twice slows down the experience of reading the story, and takes a little something away from the reveal of what she's cooking. I'd recommend removing that sentence from the first paragraph so that the audience can discover what Hikari is cooking at the same time that Michi asks about it.

Similarly, details that aren't necessary for the story can slow down the read as well. There's an entire paragraph about Michi going to the cupboard to get the plates and cups, then goes to the silverware drawer and sorts through its contents (which are listed off)... and ultimately that was a lot of words and description for a routine task that most readers already understand, and which really doesn't have any bearing on the rest of the story. Those moments could be shortened in order to keep the pacing active and moving along briskly.


*Firework* Overall

Overall, I enjoyed the read. The relationship between the characters felt authentic and interesting and, with some extra work on the execution, I think this has the potential to be a really compelling piece. Nice job!


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Respectfully,

Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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Review of Newbie  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hi Angelina Kyle

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion. *Party*


*Firework* Positives

I really enjoyed reading the first couple of entries to your blog. Like you, it took me a long time (years, actually!) to get comfortable enough with this site to venture out and try new things.


*Firework* Suggestions

You've already discovered some of the key ways to connect with others on the site (the newsfeed, creating a blog, etc.). One of the others that I would suggest - if you haven't already - is to find some activities to sign up for. Enter a contest or participate in a lower-stakes activity that involves other members of the community. When I was first starting out, seeing the same people participate in different contests, or chatting with fellow participants in an activity can be a really great way to start to build community here.


*Firework* Overall

Overall, I really enjoyed these first couple of entries in your blog. I hope you keep adding to it! *Smile*


I hope you've found this review helpful. If so, please consider paying it forward by reviewing the work of another Writing.com author!

Respectfully,

Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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Review of The Stars Above  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (3.5)
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Hi Draga

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion. *Party*


*Firework* Positives

I really enjoyed reading this poem. I thought it was well-structured and had a really nice rhythm to the pacing of reading it.


*Firework* Suggestions

The only like that really stuck for me was, "Your beauty is unmatched, nor is your serene grace." I think the word there should be "as" instead of "nor" as the second part of the line feels in keeping with the first, so I'm not sure "nor" is the appropriate separator there.


*Firework* Overall

Overall, I enjoyed the read. Nice work!


I hope you've found this review helpful. If so, please consider paying it forward by reviewing the work of another Writing.com author!

Respectfully,

Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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