I love the worldbuilding in this piece. The idea of a door-to-door salesman that isn't offput by vampires, a vampire married to a weretiger... everything was really creative and entertaining. Even the show being called "Bloody Moonlight" lent to a feeling that this was a fully realized world that the characters are living in, which is really difficult to do in such a short piece of writing. Really nice work!

Due to the brevity of the piece, some of the things felt a little glossed over, such as the fact that Joseph just randomly ordered something from a door-to-door salesman without exchanging any form of payment. And the fact that the salesman seemed a little unengaged from his task when door-to-door sales is famously about trying to connect with a potential customer and getting them on the hook to buy something.

The ending of the story also felt a little abrupt. Joseph just goes back to what he's doing after ordering something from a door-to-door salesman, which made the whole thing feel a little more like a vignette rather than a story with a beginning, middle, and end.

Overall, I think there's a ton of potential with the world you've created, and the characters. I feel like there's a little room for improvement in terms of the execution and fleshing things out a bit, but you have a strong foundation here. Nice work!

Great opening line. I really like the way that it's active and shocking, and immediately pulls the reader into the story.

I also particularly liked the narrative detail, explaining things like "it was the kind of joke that you have to pretend is funny because it's not." Those sort of narrative asides really worked well to convey the tone and detail of the piece.

The actual events of the story as they unfold are a bit confusing. Even rereading it a few times, I'm still not entirely sure what happened. It seems like a guy who looked like Max wasn't amused by the fake holdup and beat him senseless, but the cops were there so quickly, it almost seemed like he (inadvertently) tried to pull that prank on someone he didn't realize was a cop?

Also, the extent of his injuries (hospitalization, jaw wired shut, etc.) seem too excessive for all of his friends and family to be laughing about. It would be one thing if it was a stupid prank that caused an inconvenience, but this was a stupid prank that actually caused traumatic physical injury; it doesn't seem like the kind of thing people would be surrounding his hospital bed and laughing over.

Overall, I really enjoyed the story and think there's a tone of potential here. The style of writing and the general premise are a great combo and, with a little work on the execution, this could be a fantastic flash fiction story. You're off to a great start!

It's been a long time since I've ventured into the world of interactives, but thanks to Game of Thrones I'm reminded of how fun they can be... you know, when they're not filled with stories of growing, shrinking, unbirthing, and vore.

I think an airport is a perfect setting for an interactive, because there are so many different options for where you can go and what you can do. It's really exciting to see an interactive used in such a creative way (location-based) that then opens up for other possibilities. And I think that's born out by the fact that there are nearly 250 chapters to this thing!

The only suggestion I have... which is largely a moot point because the interactive story is clearly popular as-is... would be to next time consider creating more options to start with, so there are even more branching possibilities. For example, your first chapter starts with four possibilities of where to go, but you could exponentially increase the possibilities of an interactive by starting more generic and drilling down from there. For example, if the first installment were "where in the airport are you going" and the options were Arrivals, Departures, Security, Parking Garage... and then in the Departures branch you asked where they're going and offering "domestic, international - Europe & Asia, international - Africa & Australia, international - The Americas" ... then you'd have, again, exponentially more options to provide for subsequent participants in the interactive.

Overall, this was a delightful interactive, and a reminder of how enjoyable they can be, given the right subject matter.

I guess it's only fitting that, for this years' Game of Thrones, I review an item from an older iteration of Game of Thrones! I can't believe this was from ten years ago at this point! I only have vague recollections of my time with House Lannister, as I'm pretty sure I was a Targaryen after that, and currently count myself among the Free Folk. I guess my independent streak just keeps broadening!

I really like the fact that you have tributes to the individual players all in one place. It's really fun to read all the salient details about someone from a decade ago, although I am saddened to see how many accounts are no longer here!

Given the sheer amount of information in this static item, I think it might be beneficial use a bit of WritingML to better organize the page. I would suggest using quotes or indents to offset from the left-hand margin, or even utilizing things like dropnotes or popnotes to contain the information so that the piece feels a little better organized.

Overall, this was a wonderful walk down memory lane. It's hard to believe that so much time has passed and how long this Game of Thrones has had an impact on the site. It really is amazing. Thanks for sharing!

Taking a little stroll through some older items in people's portfolios during this Game of Thrones challenge. I reviewed "Writing.Com 101"  from The StoryMistress and I was reminiscing about that summer when a few of us were working hard on getting this P15 update out for the site. I still have such fond memories of that time, when the site was going through a major update with lots of planned changes, and we were excitedly trying to get everything ready for the unveiling. And the secret servers! Oh the secret servers where we got to beta test!

I am a little sad that the site hasn't had a major revamp like that one, although I certainly understand why... the effort that went into this one, and now there are kids and school and all the other stuff that life throws at us. I hope that one day we have a chance to work on something like P15 again; it did so much for excitement and participation around the site.

P15 is definitely one of my favorite memories from my time on the site. I think of it fondly every so often, and am reminded of all the hard work you've put into developing this site and giving us all a home online. Thanks for all that you do for Writing.com!

I can't believe I've never reviewed this item! I certainly spent enough time helping edit it over the years...

Every time I look through 101, I'm reminded of that summer that a few of us were just absolutely cranking out articles trying to get it read for the P15 site launch. Each of us writing up dozens of articles and how-tos about different areas of the site; and I still visit it often to remind myself how to do something when a new member asks a question that I haven't answered in a while.

Of all the things created on this site, 101 remains one of the most impressive. It's an incredible repository of information and really helped give this site a central place to reference all of the different things that Writing.com can do. Thanks for making this resource, and for continuing to give us all an online place to call home.

No suggestions for improvement; you've done a great job of keeping it updated through the years!

Overall, this is an excellent resource for the site, and one that I'm really proud of having been able to contribute to. Keep up the good work and everything that you do for the site! It's greatly appreciated by all of us!

I'm reviewing this old forum as part of a Game of Thrones activity to review "inactive forums."

Although I didn't often have the opportunity to enter, I really enjoyed the fact that someone was running a screenwriting contest on Writing.com. I always found it difficult, with my own screenwriting group, to maintain interest (there aren't that many screenwriters here, apparently, and the technical tools available on the site make script formats quite difficult), but I was always impressed by the way you were able to run this contest for a number of rounds despite the challenges.

The one suggestion I have for this contest, should you ever choose to bring it back again, is some of the feedback you noted that you received from others, which is that I think the prompts could have been a little stronger. It's always hard to tell what the real cause is when a contest doesn't gain traction (is it something about the contest itself, just a lack of interest on the site, etc.), but it seems that a couple of people specifically cited the prompts as being a reason why they didn't participate. I would definitely recommend rethinking the prompts if you were ever to consider reopening this contest again.

It was fun to revisit this old contest and remember a time when screenwriting was (a bit) more of a focus for some of us on Writing.com. Good work!

This was a fun story, and I loved the twist at the end. I'm a huge fan of modern twists on ancient mythology, and this was a good one. I also like how simple and straightforward the narrative was.

One thing that stood out to me was the expository mention of the hundred thousand dollars. While I think that information is useful to the narrative, it feels kind of stuck in there arbitrarily and I can't help but think there might be a better place for it.

Also, I think some additional context for why the Medusa's head was desired by Alan and Zach's employer would be helpful. It's such a unique item, I was hoping for a little more backstory to explain why they were after what they're after, and why it seemed, based on Perseus' comments at the end, that this wasn't the first time that someone had tried to steal the item. If that's the case, what's the story there?

Overall, this was a fun story and I thought you did a good job with it. But whenever a story comes in significantly under the word count of the contest it was created for (in this case, yours was 307 words in a contest with a maximum of 1500 words), I can't help but think that some of that extra space could have been utilized to round out the story a little. Other than that, though, this was a fun read. Nice work!

This story effectively combines elements of sci-fi and psychological thriller, creating a narrative that captures the reader's attention from the beginning. The imagery is intriguing and the transitions between story elements are handled with skill, providing a strong impact. The use of sensory details, such as the sound of the translator and the physical sensation of the knife, enhances the realism of the experience and deepens the reader's immersion in the story.

While the story is compelling, I think there are a few areas where clarity could be improved; perhaps providing a bit more foreshadowing could help. Additionally, the motivations and culture of the Beakers could be further explored to add depth to the narrative and provide a better understanding of their actions.

Overall, this is a compelling narrative that successfully blends science fiction with elements of horror and survival. The story’s strength lies in its detailed setting. By expanding on the background and motivations of the alien characters and smoothing the transitions between scenes, the story could potentially be even stronger. This narrative shows a lot of promise with its unique premise and dramatic execution. Nice work!

I love the way you captured the warmth and chaos of a family Christmas with young children. The narrative voice is delightful, bringing humor and a light-hearted tone that many will find relatable and engaging. The dialogue is authentic and adds depth to the characters, particularly the father's interaction with his children, which is really endearing. This was a really great flash fiction story!

While the story flows well, you might consider enhancing the sensory descriptions to further immerse the reader in the scene. Additionally, I think exploring the children’s perspective a bit more could add another layer of engagement, providing insight into their excitement and thoughts about Santa’s visit.

This is a charming and amusing tale that perfectly encapsulates the spirit of Christmas through the eyes of a loving, if slightly beleaguered, parent. The story’s strength lies in its ability to blend humor with tender family moments, making it a delightful read for anyone who has experienced the joys and trials of a family holiday. Your portrayal of the father’s inventive, albeit flawed, plan to ensure his children’s belief in Santa is both funny and heartfelt. Great job!

The narrative structure of your story effectively captures the tension and intrigue of a space exploration adventure. I think the establishment of the setting around Alpha Centauri is particularly good. The dialogue is also a strong point; it feels natural and helps to develop the characters quickly and efficiently, giving each a distinct voice and personality.

While the story is engaging and the suspense builds well, I think there's an opportunity to deepen the impact through more detailed descriptions of the characters' reactions to their environment. Additionally, I feel like the scientific reasoning behind the lack of microorganisms could be expanded a bit. Clarifying the sequence of events leading to the climax could also enhance the reader's understanding and engagement, ensuring that the final twist is both surprising and plausible.

This is a compelling piece that blends scientific exploration with the elements of a thriller. The story is well-placed, maintaining reader interest throughout. The story’s climax is particularly striking. However, I think refining the scientific explanations and enhancing the environmental descriptions could make the narrative even more compelling and believable.Keep up the great work!

I love these superhero crosswords! I'm a huge comic fan so it's always fun to see which answers I know. I like the fact that there were some answers that weren't just superhero names; mixing in more "meta" content like the name of the company that created the heroes, an organization, etc. was a nice touch that helped differentiate this crossword from many of the other ones that have been created for this activity.

Some of the clues I found to be a little too generic. Given the size of the crossword with very few clues solving letter positions for other words, the puzzler is basically in a position where they have to know the answer already, since there are precious few clues to help them out. With that in mind, clues like "unprincipled" (which is a play on the word a character's name is derived from) are incredibly difficult without some additional context. Especially compared to a clue like "Jennifer Garner played her" which is relatively easy and straightforward to answer.

Overall, I thought this was a fun crossword with a great list of words to fill in. It was entertaining, a little challenging, and definitely somethign that's right up my alley. Nice job!

This story beautifully captures the internal monologue of a woman reflecting on her life's journey from youthful exuberance to the mundanity of middle age. The juxtaposition of her past and present selves is poignantly depicted, and the use of the sensible shoes as a metaphor for her perceived dullness adds depth to the narrative.

While the story flows well, I think it could benefit from more dynamic elements in the middle sections. The daily routines, though essential for setting up her epiphany, might be condensed to make way for more interactions or flashbacks that reveal her character's complexity and desires. Additionally, the introduction of Mike at the end feels a bit abrupt. Developing his character earlier in the story, perhaps through subtle encounters or mentions, would make his confession feel more integral to the narrative rather than a sudden development.

This short story successfully delivers a message about rediscovering one's zest for life and challenges the inevitability of a mundane existence. It resonates with anyone who might find themselves reflecting on past choices and perceived normalcy. With a bit more balance between the protagonist's internal reflections and external interactions, this story could offer a more rounded and emotionally engaging journey. Nice work!

Your story is a heartfelt depiction of a young boy's love and determination to find his lost dog, capturing a simple yet profound human experience. The narrative is well-paced, with clear, crisp descriptions that immerse the reader in Barney's world—from the texture of the neighborhood to the emotions swirling through his mind. The dialogue is natural and effectively conveys the dynamics within Barney's family, adding layers to the characters through their interactions.

The emotional payoff at the end, when Barney finds Skip, is satisfying and well-earned. It taps into the universal fear of loss and the joy of reunion, making the story resonate with readers of all ages. The tension built up through the search, especially in the unfamiliar and somewhat menacing environment of the dump, heightens the stakes and makes the resolution more impactful.

While the narrative is effective in its simplicity, there could be more depth in exploring Barney's emotions and reflections on his relationship with Skip. This could add a layer of complexity to the story and enhance the emotional depth. Additionally, the buildup to the discovery of Skip could be expanded to include more sensory details and interactions between Barney and his father during the search, deepening the reader's investment in their journey.

The scene at the dump could also benefit from a bit more atmospheric description to heighten the sense of suspense and uncertainty. This would not only enrich the narrative but also increase the contrast with the relief and joy of the eventual reunion.

This story successfully captures a slice of life that is deeply human and universally relatable. With a bit more exploration of the characters' inner worlds and a richer atmospheric buildup, this story could leave a lasting, profound impression on the reader. Nice job!

Your story effectively creates a suspenseful atmosphere, blending elements of the supernatural with the mundane curiosity of modern ghost-hunting technology. The setting, a well-maintained but abandoned house, serves as a perfect backdrop for protagonist's exploration. The use of a ghost-hunting app as a narrative device adds a contemporary twist to the traditional ghost story, providing a unique way for the protagonist to interact with the unknown. The tension builds nicely throughout the narrative, culminating in the chilling single-word message, "RUN," which leaves the reader on edge.

While the suspense is well-developed, I think the story could benefit from deeper character development. Learning more about Angela's motivations for exploring the house and her previous experiences with the supernatural could enhance the reader's connection to her. Additionally, some elements introduced in the story, such as the mention of the track team coach, feel to me as if they're a bit disconnected from the main narrative. Tightening these loose ends or integrating them more fully into the story could improve overall coherence and impact.

This narrative is engaging and well-crafted, with a strong sense of mood and setting that pulls the reader into the mystery. The modern twist of using a ghost-hunting app brings a fresh perspective to the ghost story genre. By deepening character backstory and ensuring all narrative elements are tightly woven into the main plot, the story could offer even more depth and satisfaction. Nice work!

Your story vividly captures the bittersweet emotions of a summer romance coming to an end. Chelsea and Adam's relationship is beautifully portrayed, filled with tenderness and the realization of their imminent parting. The setting by the lake serves as a perfect backdrop, enhancing the romantic and wistful mood of the narrative. The detailed descriptions of their final moments together—the feel of the water, the warmth of the sun, and the intimacy of their interactions—are engaging and evocative, drawing the reader deeply into their world.

While the emotional depth of the story is compelling, I think the narrative could benefit from a bit more conflict or a subplot to deepen the story and add layers to the characters' relationship. Perhaps introducing some earlier scenes that hint at their future challenges or exploring their backgrounds more could provide a richer context for their emotions and decisions. Additionally, I feel like the conclusion could be expanded to offer a clearer sense of closure or hint more strongly at what the future might hold for them, beyond the promise of staying in touch.

The narrative is a poignant exploration of young love, characterized by its intensity and the inevitable goodbye. The dialogue between Chelsea and Adam is natural and heartfelt, effectively conveying their mutual affection and the pain of separation. With a bit more complexity in the plot and deeper exploration of the characters' pasts or internal conflicts, the story could gain even greater emotional impact.

Your story beautifully captures the nostalgic glamour of the roaring 20s through the eyes of a child whose mother is a silent film star. The narrative is rich with vivid descriptions of the era, from the fashion of Gabrielle Chanel to the sensation of driving a Ford Model T. The protagonist’s perspective brings a fresh, innocent viewpoint to the glamorous yet challenging life of growing up in the spotlight. The blend of historical details with the personal experiences of the narrator creates a compelling and engaging story that celebrates the uniqueness of the time period. The inclusion of cultural icons and new technologies of the era, like frozen foods and silent films, adds authenticity and depth to the storytelling.

While the story is charming and well-paced, there could be an opportunity to deepen the emotional impact by exploring more complex interactions between the protagonist and their mother. This could include more scenes that showcase the mother’s influence on her child beyond public appearances and shopping trips, perhaps highlighting moments of personal struggle or triumph that emphasize her role as a mother, not just a celebrity. Additionally, the conflict with the science teacher offers a promising subplot that could be developed further to enhance the narrative tension and provide a fuller resolution to the story.

This tale is a delightful journey into the 1920s, seen through the eyes of someone who both idolizes and is deeply affected by their mother’s fame. It effectively mixes historical ambiance with personal storytelling, making the reader feel both the excitement and the pressures of celebrity life. With a bit of expansion on the emotional and conflict-driven elements of the story, it could offer a more rounded and powerful exploration of the characters’ lives and relationships.

Your story effectively builds suspense and creates a sense of unease that grips the reader from the start. The setting of a deserted theater department, combined with the stormy weather, sets a perfect backdrop for the eerie events that unfold. Maggie’s characterization as a novice trying something new, only to find herself in a frightening and confusing situation, adds a personal dimension that makes her easy to empathize with. The use of sensory details effectively heightens the tension and draws the reader deeper into the scene.

I think the narrative could benefit from a clearer resolution or further development of the mysterious figure to enhance the overall impact of the story. While the suspense is well-maintained, the conclusion leaves some questions unanswered about the nature and intent of the figure, which might be intentional but could frustrate some readers looking for closure. Additionally, I wonder if exploring Maggie’s emotional reactions a bit more deeply as she navigates this frightening experience could add layers to her character and make her journey through the story even more compelling.

Your story is a thrilling blend of suspense and mystery. The narrative effectively uses the elements of suspense and unexpected encounters to engage the reader, making them feel Maggie’s trepidation and urgency. With some expansion on the mysterious elements and perhaps a more defined conclusion, this story could further enhance its intriguing premise and leave a lasting impression on its audience.

Your story brings an intriguing perspective on the life of a young dragon, blending elements of fantasy and coming-of-age narratives. The development of Slynokio from an inexperienced dragon to one who encounters and interacts with humans and another dragon adds depth to his character and expands the world you've created. The addition of magical and mythical elements, such as the spirits of old dragons and the young boy who knows dragon lore, enriches the plot and provides a captivating backdrop. The detailed descriptions of Sly's actions and emotions help the reader to vividly imagine the scenes and feel connected to the protagonist.

I think the narrative would benefit from a clearer structure to enhance the flow and readability. The transitions between major events, like the hunt and Sly’s subsequent interactions, can be smoothed out to maintain a steady narrative pace. Also, considering the complexity of the storyline, expanding on some background elements, like the history of dragons and their interaction with humans, could provide a richer context for Sly’s adventures. Additionally, refining the dialogue to ensure it reflects the characters' personalities and roles more distinctly would add to the authenticity and engagement of the exchanges.

This tale is a delightful exploration into a mythical world through the eyes of a young dragon experiencing life’s complexities for the first time. Your narrative successfully captures the essence of curiosity and the thirst for knowledge inherent in young beings, whether human or dragon. The themes of friendship, learning, and growth are well-presented and resonate throughout the story. With some refinement in pacing and dialogue, this story could further enhance its charm and appeal, making Slynokio's journey even more compelling for readers.

The story captures the atmosphere of a live concert with vivid detail. Terry Hanley’s character is thoroughly explored, making his journey from retirement to rejuvenated passion a compelling arc. The narrative effectively uses the crowd's reaction and the band's dynamic performance to reach a powerful resolution where Terry realizes his deep connection to his music and his bandmates. This pivotal moment is both emotionally charged and satisfying, highlighting the transformative power of music and performance.

For me, some descriptions, particularly of the band members entering the stage, could be streamlined to maintain narrative pacing. Also, I think introducing more dialogue among the band members could provide deeper insights into their relationships and add layers to the concert experience. I'd suggest potentially incorporating a bit of backstory about Terry’s career and previous challenges to make his final decision even more poignant.

This story is an effective exploration of a musician facing the twilight of his career, set against the backdrop of a live performance that reminds him why he fell in love with music in the first place. It successfully combines the sensory details of sound, sight, and emotion to create a memorable narrative. Terry’s realization that he is not yet ready to give up the life that defines him is handled well, making the story’s conclusion uplifting and inspiring.

This story effectively captures the tension and suspense typical of a thriller, using Halloween as a backdrop. The protagonist's gradual realization of danger, mirrored by her transition from a mundane party environment to a life-threatening situation, is handled well, creating a sense of dread. The narrative successfully blends the mundane with the terrifying, using a Halloween party as a familiar setting that quickly spirals into an unexpected nightmare. The twist ending is shocking and leaves a lasting impression, illustrating the story's descent from deceptive normalcy into horror.

While the story's climax is dramatic and engaging, I think earlier parts of the narrative could benefit from tighter pacing to enhance the build-up to the final revelation. Additionally, exploring the protagonist's emotions in greater depth, for me, could add layers of psychological complexity. Providing more background on the characters, especially Mr. Smith, might also enrich the story, offering insights into their motivations and making the final twist more impactful.

Overall, this story is a gripping and well-crafted piece that effectively uses the elements of suspense and horror to engage readers. The gradual escalation of tension, combined with the protagonist's initially dismissive attitude towards Halloween, creates a compelling narrative arc.

This story successfully blends elements of the supernatural with a human core. The protagonist's journey through the mall, underscored by a pervasive sense of mystery, is really effective. The transitions between her mundane reality and the encounters with enigmatic characters are handled with a deft touch, creating a seamless blend of the ordinary and the otherworldly. The dialogue between characters, especially in the latter part of the story, is poignant and loaded with emotional weight, effectively conveying the thematic concerns of love, loss, and the passage of time.

While the narrative is intriguing, I think there could be more clarity in the progression of events to help the reader better understand the shift from a realistic setting to a more metaphysical one. Exploring the emotional background and motivations of the protagonist more deeply could also potentially enhance empathy with the characters. Additionally, I think providing a little more context about the protagonist's past and her relationships could enrich the story's emotional impact and provide a stronger foundation for the themes explored.

Overall, I thought this story was a compelling exploration of themes related to mortality, memory, and maternal love. It successfully combines elements of fantasy with a strong emotional narrative to create a thought-provoking tale with an ending that leaves a lasting impression. Nice work!