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 My blog was filled up. I'm too lazy to clean it out. So I started a new one. |
| There's a new baby in the family. My middle brother just had his 6th grandchild, a boy. The boy is named for my father and his daddy's uncle, Ernest. My dad is a junior, and my late brother was the III. Jack was also my oldest brother; Jackson was the middle name. Another great grandson also has the middle name Jackson from my dad and his great grandfather on the other side of his family. This baby's first name is Jackson. So it's safe to say it's now a family name. They plan on calling him Jack, like my brother, who taught our niece to drive. As happy as we all are to have this perfect, healthy baby with long fingers and toes, we can't help but remember his daddy who died six months earlier at age 35. it's a sorrowful time for my niece and her in-laws. It's a sorrowful time for all of us, because Billy was special, and had been a part of our family a very long time. So our hearts are breaking all over again, while at the same time celebrating. Can we ever fully appreciate the joy in our lives unless we have experienced great sadness? Can one exist without the other? Are they always intermingled? We'll take our mixed blessings. We'll hold this child and sing to him and tell him stories about the daddy he'll never know. We'll tell him his nickname is the same as the great uncle he never met. But he is prized and treasured. |
| Please, half the news these days is about someone taking offense to what someone else said. Do all public figures just need to tape their mouths shut on all sides of the political fences until they think it through and have it proofread by a half dozen assistants? This would include celebrities and the media folk themselves. Everything they say is going to misinterpreted, taken out of context, or misquoted. Have we really become so sensitive in our culture that we get our feelings hurt or our righteous indignation aroused over the minute bits of idle or off-hand conversation? Or have we just become so angry that we manufacture reasons to complain and ridicule and rant? There are plenty of real topics to outrage us, but they don't come to light very often. We are a snarky, insulting, whining, complaining, bitching culture. As a people, we just love the sensation of argument and ridicule. We hold onto our peeves, nourishing them and letting them grow. Our hatred of our enemies is poisoning us. We ridicule people who forgive or try to live with grace and peace. It's hard to hold out hope for peace on earth when there is so much venom in every day people. Forgiveness isn't a subject taught in school. Tolerance only receives lip service. |
| We're not quite done with Christmas at church, but at home we are. I put away all of the Christmas dishes and mugs today. We spent half a day un-decorating the tree, the mantle, the windows, the foyer, the staircase, and all the knickknacks around the family room. Whew. That's only the lower floor. The tree is boxed and ready to go into the garage attic. The other boxes are taped and read to come upstairs and be lifted into the main attic. So tomorrow, I face the living room and dining room. We have animated figurines which are rather large, so they have their own boxes. I will have to go up into our Arctic attic to find the right boxes and bring them down. It shouldn't take quite so long. Now all the red hand towels and special kitchen accessories I had already washed and put away. I don't want to wash them too often and have them fade. It did take longer to put it all up, but taking it down is sort of sad. I linger over it and remember more of when and where we got them. What was my mother's favorite. What belonged to my late brother. And seeing it go makes me feel like I didn't just sit and enjoy it more. I did carry my coffee down there this morning and just look at everything before tackling it. There is always so much to do before Christmas, that even as low stress as this year's holiday was for me, I still didn't take much quiet time or listen to music. So I did have a half hour today by myself just to enjoy how pretty it was. As soon as my brother comes to help me haul the boxes up the folding ladder into the attic, it will all be put away for another year. Another ten months or so will be pass without remembering how much money went into all that decor over the decades or how many special memories are triggered by them. It seems a shame to leave them up such a short time. I do know two people who have spectacular tress, and they leave them up all year long. I might get a little callous and not appreciate it so much if I did that. Until November, 2018, it's almost done. |
| OK. So, no resolutions have begun. I stayed up late binging on Thin Man movies on TCM. They were showing six; I only watched four. And I did it without booze or popcorn. I had Sprite Zero. This morning, when I finally crawled out of bed, I had pie with black coffee for breakfast. So there to a happy, healthier new year. I'd like to do all the usual things that people want to do. Lose some pounds, be happier, healthier, richer, etc. I made one small resolution last week which I've already started. having to do with tidiness. I do want to lower my A1C. It's still in the safe zone, barely. My doctor is riding me about it because I have other risk factors which could push it over the line to pre-diabetes, like my gender, age, and family history. If I can lower it by just a few decimals, say by March, he'll back off. The way to do that is a combination of more exercise, reducing fats in my diet, and losing a few pounds. That's specific enough, but not too grueling to manage. Give up all ice cream, now that's just unreasonable. But if the day's fat intake has been low, maybe it would be okay. On the other hand, that last thought could be dangerous thinking. I've got to evaluate my thoughts every time I'm tempted. Finish a novel is probably too big a command for my feeble brain. I've tried that before. Instead, maybe I should just pick one and work on it for noticeable improvement. That shouldn't be too daunting. I could make loftier goals for writing. However, I think I should stick to something I've come close to doing already, and just go a bit further. I do have to reduce my spending, and start saving for a rainy day. I need a budget in my head, so I know when I'm getting close to my limit in certain categories. For most of my life, like a lot of people, I just lived from paycheck to paycheck. I paid what had to be paid, like utilities and car repairs. Now there's no rent to pay, no mortgage. The car is paid. I don't have any debt. Nobody else has his name on my checking account, so my money is not being spent without my consent. For the first time, this past year, I've had discretionary income. But it's not going to last. Something always goes awry. I have to be practical. don't want to make a list of things that I'll just end up breaking within the week. I want to set some targets that I can and should be setting all the time. I might make some resolutions the first day of every month. Meanwhile, I held a Southern style New Year's Day. For dinner, we had black eyed peas, turnip greens, iced tea, as always on this day, with some leftovers--roast beef, salad, and homemade crab dip. HAPPY NEW YEAR ! |
| This week, we go back to normal, if not already. The decorations will come down. Ordinary music and chores. Back to work or housework, back to laundry, cleaning floors, cleaning toilets, maintaining the car. The parties, the concerts, the special events are pretty much over. Life goes on as before. The shepherds had that experience the first Christmas. They were startled out of the ordinary by scary magnificence of heavenly beings. They didn't understand what they heard, but decided to check it out. When they found the baby as told, they marveled and felt joy, but they still didn't know the whole story. They didn't know how it fit in with the prophecies, or how it would turn out. They were excited and didn't keep it a secret, but they did go back to work. Maybe they were changed forever, maybe it wore off. We have the advantage of knowing the significance of the details. But are we changed by it? Are we more giving all year or only in season? How does having Christmas every year really affect us, other than give us an excuse to party, to have a big meal, and lavish gifts on our friends and loved ones? I heard someone today talk about everyone being in a bathroom every day. Most bathrooms, even in stores and work places, have mirrors. If every time we looked in the mirror, we told ourselves "I am wonderfully made" like the psalmist said, would we be nicer people to be around. Would we be more positive and encouraging to others if we tell ourselves, "God loves me and cares for me" every time we look in a mirror? Celebrating Christmas is a reminder that the God of all creation became one of us to communicate his love to us. Maybe that conversation with the mirror would remind us of that all year long. Christmas would be a quiet part of the ordinary on a daily basis. |
| Oh my, oh my. Can it be that another year has flown by? The last three months have been a blur, but they say that's a sign of old age. Time is relative. The longer you've been watching time go by, the faster it seems to go. My grandmother never had that experience. The days always seemed long to her. It was hours or days since she last saw someone. Then you'd listen to her talk and realize she'd had half a dozen visitors that day. Come to think of it, she never complained of anyone staying too long. I don't have that experience . . . yet. So I've been toying with resolutions, which I usually try to avoid. But I know I want some changes. I've been thinking about them for some time. The ones that cost money will stay on hold. However, I got an ad in the mail today. The good gym has just opened a new branch 24/7 near my subdivision. I know I need to get some direction from a trainer, and they do have a trial period. Maybe, I could try two months, and I could see if it's worth the ongoing monthly fee, or whether I've learned enough to do it on my own. I know I need to up my game without straining a muscle or having a stroke trying. Inside out of the rain and snow would be nice, too. I'm thinking. . . . So, I guess I'll make a list of things and see how they look. I might end up throwing it away. I'm going to concentrate on daily behavior and not results. Like forget "lose ten pounds". Instead, exercise 10 minutes more every day, and no eating in front of the TV or computer video. Go to bed 15 minutes earlier, that kind of thing. Write for X number of minutes a day, or read a certain amount of time. I can always adjust my list, if I keep it, and decide some things were too easy or too hard. Maybe I need to set aside certain days, like every Thursday is research day. Or pay bills on Friday. That might keep me organized and help me meet my weekly goals. Resolutions will be broken, no matter what the intention. But we can get back on track or throw them out. But throwing them out should be intentional, and not just forgetfulness. I'm going to dabble with them. |
| Solicitations are up in December. I hate answering the phone. My favorite TV channels with the long commercials, not my favorite part, are big on sad children ads. The animal ads run all year, as do the St. Jude's, but they increase the number just before Thanksgiving, through New Years. They usually feature the girl who looks like a boy talking about the "adorable blanket" for your sizable donation. Shriner's starts showing up, along with the hare lip organization that use to feature in the back of every magazine. Wounded Warrior advertises all year long. There's a couple of local theaters that I like to support in a small way, but they don't make a big to do this month. The Municipal Band is pushing because they have a matching donor who has issued a challenge. They need to get as much as possible very soon to get the largest match possible. I know a lot of people do wait until late in the year to make their contributions for tax reasons, or when they balance their budgets. My dad and I give to the local food bank several times a year. We give memorials to Wounded Warriors or the closest Habitat for Humanity when someone passes away. I give to my church regularly which supports the local women's shelters and will occasionally do meals at the men's shelter. They also participate in the food bank and other local projects like water in the summer for the homeless or gloves and hats in the winter for kids and adults. We also do projects in nearby housing projects and nursing homes, as well as some foreign and emergency projects. These are ongoing, which makes sense. Dad likes to give to the Heart Association since Mom died of a heart attack. I've made it my policy not to buy or donate over the phone. I've had my credit card number stolen once. I've also found you never get rid of the solicitors once you give. Every ten to 30 days, they're on the phone again. I recognize their voices. I've asked to be taken off the lists more than once, so I think that's why they call back so soon. The cancer society and its divisions are the worst for frequent calling, always pretending to be your best friend. I have limited resources and can't supply all the requests, no matter how much they plead, as though their requests to "Please, don't hang up" will make me give more. I'm really tired of the commercials. I don't watch certain channels now just to avoid the extended ads--they're longer than name brand products. Someone has to pay for extra time and the repetitions. The cost of the ad itself is taken out of your charitable donation. Today the Shriner's ran an ad showing deformed children, and kids with artificial limbs. I burst out crying. I then turned the TV off once I could breathe again. These commercials need to have warnings. I was only halfway looking at the screen, so it caught me by surprise. I'm not an irresponsible person. Most of us aren't. But the guilt they want to lay on the average viewer is too much. The need may be real, but in most cases only a small percentage of your donation goes to the actual need. Hopefully, the begging will be reduced soon. |
| I really need to start typing my blog elsewhere and copy here. It's one o'clock in the morning and a technical error just wiped out everything I had written. The Day After Christmas is one of the laziest days I've had in ages. Sure, I did two loads of laundry, swept floors, fed the stray cat, heated leftovers for dinner, and did the dishes. But I had no errands, no wrapping or baking, no guests. I read whenever I had free time. I think I took a twenty minute nap. It was wonderful. It got me to thinking about how much better the book is than the movie, usually. The movie is someone's interpretation of the book, and usually omits certain things. Like Unbroken omits the last half of the book, the part that gives the title. When I read the book, my imagination takes over, and so much more is clear. The movie, A Walk To Remember was a disappointment after reading the book, which was terrific. I saw Watership Down first, then read the book, and the book was still better. Rarely, the movie or movie scenes are better. I read The Fixer by Malamud, and it seemed muddy to me. The movie explained a lot more to me. There were a few scenes from Women in Love that were better than the book, like the bull fighting scene (I was both a Glenda Jackson fan and an Alan Bates fan). I was young when I read and saw those. Maybe that affected my judgment. We've all read A Christmas Carol. There are dozens of versions in movies, including fluffy ones with current TV stars, even women as "Ebbie". This year I watched one with Patrick Stewart, always good, the George C Scott one, and a British one from 1935 which had very different interpretations. And there's Scrooge and Scrooged, as variations. All of them are quite good, but none take the place of the book. So, I promise to be as lazy as I can for the rest of the week, although I can't avoid errands and appointments all together. |
| The dishwasher has run two loads. The floors are swept, and the wrapping paper is balled up in trash bags. The Christmas lights are on a timer which will soon turn off. TV has only old movies or rerun sitcoms. I've been too tired to read. All the company left a few hours ago. Phew! The weeks of anticipation, of trying to choose the perfect gift, of planning the menu and the timing of dishes in the oven. All the little decorative touches which took trial and error and no one noticed. And then it's over so fast. I had to keep slowing the kids down, so we could observe who was getting what. One family opted for passing out scratch off lottery tickets instead of shopping and wrapping. I think we had 3 one dollar winners in the group. $65 on lottery tickets for $3 winnings. We did have a few minutes of fun, scratching off with the kids. Since Christmas Eve fell on a Sunday, I spent a lot of time in church, which forces you to sit still and listen to music and relax. I went into Christmas fairly stress free. My only stress came from the cranky 89 year old, and he only has outbursts of crankiness. It's not constant. Now it's over, he'll be laid back until the next holiday or medical procedure. It's time to relax, clean up in general, and delve into unfinished projects. It's also a time to reflect and evaluate. The anticipation is over. The holiday flew by. How can I live with the joy and good will of Christmas all year long? |
| I heard a different twist on Christmas today. When the angel told Mary what she was going to go through, an unwed mother in a very strict culture, she didn't object or argue. She said, "Yes". he went on to compare Mr. Rogers, who was in seminary, planning to be a preacher. He got hooked on some TV, watching some terrible shows. He concluded that he could do it better. So he was ordained, not to become a regular church minister, but to pursue children's television. He said "Yes" and influenced generations of children. I started thinking about that response. A few like Isaiah said yes right away. A lot argued like Gideon, Moses, Aaron. Jonah said "No!" And we know what happened to him. Whatever our calling, our age or circumstances, may we all be brave enough to say "Yes" and pursue that calling. Mary was just a young teenager. But wherever we are in life, as long as we draw breath, it's not too late. We can find new opportunities. We can start a new path or renew the old one. Say "Yes". |
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