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 |   Exploring the future through the present. One day at a time. |
| I like my title better, but then, why wouldn't I? It is, after all, mine! http://news.yahoo.com/s/ucjk/20071230/cm_ucjk/whydontyouusethelittlewench The article linked above is written by James Kilpatrick, and he talks about using the wrong words within articles and books. Quite funny, some of the examples he gives. I notice I find the same, usually in books that haven't been properly edited. Here are a few examples: "His muscles were taunt." Hmm. A taunting muscle? How rude! Using "lightening" when describing "lightning." I never knew lightning weighed so little . . . "His comments didn't phase her." So is she not fazed by him, or is she going through a phase of apathy? The one I see most often is further/farther. They are very similar in meaning, but there is a difference. Farther should describe physical distance traveled, and further should be used when describing nonphysical or metaphorical distance. Examples: "He drove 200 miles farther today than yesterday." and "The further he advanced up the corporate ladder, the less fulfilled his life seemed." What about you? What word-switches have you seen that made you either giggle or grit your teeth in annoyance? Oh, I almost forgot! HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! |
| Merry Christmas!! Yeah, I know I’m a day late. Sorry about that. Hey, I was busy – gestating, that is. I’m now carrying what could be construed as a basketball, only this one squirms. I forgot how to tie my shoes, and I can’t get out of bed without feeling like a turtle stuck on its back. I noticed the other day I don’t walk, but waddle. Overall, I still feel really good, though. I often giggle at my lack of grace and how my tummy gets in the way of everything. I’m surprised I don’t have scrapes or bruises on my belly for how often I hit a table, doorframe, or try to close the refrigerator door on it. Today I’m at 37 weeks, with only God knows how many days or weeks to go. Do I sound ready? If not, I’m telling you now I am! I’m happy Thomas wasn’t born yesterday, though. I want him to have a birthday all to himself. New Year’s Day won’t be so bad if that’s when he’d like to arrive – like I have a choice, right? Wanna hear something sad? Standing in line at the grocery store, I glanced at one of them National Enquirer type magazines, and it showcased this year’s best and worst beach-bodies. I thought, no wonder so many of our entertainers spend millions of dollars (and go slightly insane) in plastic surgery to look perpetually young and fit. Dave then tells me he read an article in a pregnancy magazine at my last appointment about how some famous people are purposely having preemie babies because they don’t want to look pregnant, or have stretched out tummies when it’s all said and done. Purposely putting a child at serious and permanent risk so they can keep their figure?! Any doctor who allows that should have their license to practice revoked. Or maybe I’m the crazy one. I see today as an important day, because Thomas is considered full term. Now it’s just a matter of time – I don’t have to worry about him not being big enough, his lungs not fully developed, etc when he's born. Tomorrow I go in and they’ll check to see if my cervix is expanding. I have a feeling it’s at a centimeter or two; not enough to think I’ll go into labor any minute, but enough to make me hopeful it won’t be too much longer. Sorry to you fellas if that was too much information fer ya. I hope you had a fantabulous Christmas, and this New Year is full of joy and happiness! |
| You’ll have to get your own, because I’m fresh out – unless you like shredded cheddar that is. Got lots of that. I mentioned in an earlier entry how part of me wished my pregnancy wasn’t going so smooth because then I’d have something to talk about when people asked me. Finally, I have something! Isn’t that just like me to be excited over a complaint? Ha! It’s nothing serious, thankfully, but still worthy of a whine methinks. I’ll keep it short so as not to bore you stupid. With Thomas running out of room, and my body readying itself for The Day, my pelvis continues to expand. It feels like I rode a motorcycle or horse for eight hours straight. Last night I must have slept funny (when I managed to sleep), because my right hip joint is sore. I’m walking very much like an old pregnant woman (what a shock since I’m both). I also experience several times a day what are called Braxton Hicks contractions. They are basically practice contractions as the muscles strengthen themselves. They feel much like menstrual cramps. They’re intermittent and last at most two minutes, but sometimes are strong enough I have to stop what I’m doing, or change positions if I’m sitting or laying down. While uncomfortable and annoying, that I experience the above is a good sign my body knows what it’s doing, and is doing it well. Change o’ Subject. See, told you I’d keep it short. A few weeks ago, I finally completed my proposal. I haven’t sent it out, yet, because I’m still not confident it’s as good as it could be. I decided to have Dave go through it one more time for me. I’m glad he did. He was brutal. Out of 40+ pages, only three pages had no comments. He pointed out word repetitions, continuity problems, unanswered questions, and places where I need more detail. Sure it’s much more work for me, but it will result an even better manuscript. I can’t complain about that! We’ll see if I manage to finish it by the end of the year. I don’t hold out a lot of hope considering I was supposed to have it done by the end of October. Dave is pushing me to complete it, so that helps. |
| Ever have lots to write about, but none of the gumption? That be me. My apologies for not visiting the rest of you. Again, no gumption. I managed to write a mere 14.5k for Nanowrimo, but then petered out. Oh well, I have a good start on a story, so that's something. The largest reason for me not continuing is because I didn’t have a good direction to follow. It’s complicated enough, I’ll need to write an outline before I continue on. When that will happen, not a clue. My brain is full of preparing for the little one's arrival. I'm almost at 34 weeks, and many consider babies full-term at 37 weeks. I did the math, and that means I could have this baby as early as Christmas day. I hope not, but I don't exactly have a choice in the matter. I've been putting stuff together for me and Thomas so when the time comes, I'll only have to grab a suitcase or two. I also purchased more baby stuff, to the point I wish I lived in earlier days when we didn't have to spend days researching on the best car seat, crib, etc. Sometimes having too many choices is a bad thing. It’s daunting to say the least. Last Thursday was our first baby education class. It's interesting so far in that we learned what to expect as far as labor and a few breathing techniques and massages to help us through contractions. The next four classes will go into more detail including pain management options, and what happens if a c-section is necessary. What I noticed first was that Dave and I were the least nervous in the group. For everyone it's their first pregnancy, so for most, their biggest fear is the actual labor and delivery, the pain involved, etc. One couple is having twins, and their biggest concern is possible c-section. I don't have any fears per se (at least not yet. Ask me again when I go into labor). I am anxious about not knowing what to expect, but I'm not afraid of it. I figure women have been having babies for thousands of years; my body will know exactly what to do and when. If not, I'm lucky enough to live in a country where medical advances are such, no matter what happens, both Thomas and I will be well taken care of. Sure, there are always dangers, and the unexpected even a doctor practicing for 30 years isn’t prepared for, but I take a chance with life every time I walk out my door. We can’t go through life fearful of every horrible eventuality, because we cease to live at that point. Life’s too short to worry about what tomorrow will bring. I’d rather enjoy today - and right now it involves a nap. Night, night. |
| Then again, every day is a good day to reflect on how much we have to be thankful for. It doesn't have to happen on one national holiday. If nothing else, when life seems to have taken a darker turn, counting blessings a good way to uplift the spirit. When I sit down and count all my blessings, I'm astonished. In no way do I think I deserve any of it, and it makes me all the more appreciative of what I have. For the material: I have a great job with great bosses who will let me take three months maternity leave, and still have a job waiting for me when I'm ready to return. (It's a small enough company, they're not required by federal law to do so). I want for no food, shelter, and in fact have too many things I don't even need, but merely wanted. It's been years since I've had to live from paycheck to paycheck, stressing over whether or not I'll make my next rent or be able to fill my gas tank enough to get to work or school. For the emotional: I have a husband who adores me, pushes me to pursue my dreams, yet at the same time keeps me grounded. My friends here and elsewhere, what can I say? You've been second only to my husband in keeping me from giving up my dreams, and not allowing any sadness or concern to last longer than it should. I've reconnected with my biological father, and am enjoying our developing relationship. For the physical: I am more healthy than I have any right to be. I can only complain about an occasional eczema outbreak, and bad knees. I haven’t even had a cold in years. Even my pregnancy is going smooth, especially considering I’m high-risk because of my age. Sometimes I wish I had a problem or two so I have something to complain and talk about. (Okay, not really, but it would make for more interesting reading for you, and conversation with those who ask how everything is going). When I think of what other women have gone through during their pregnancies, I definitely count this as my biggest blessing to date. How can I express the joy of the new life growing inside me? For the spiritual: Again, this will be difficult to express, because it goes so deep. I could chalk it up to hormones, but I get teary-eyed just thinking about it. Call it fate, call it an accident of birth, but I’m grateful to God for being born in the country and in the time I am living in. I don’t have to worry about talking about and living my faith, while there are millions in other countries persecuted and even executed for doing the same. I try not to take that for granted, though it is so easy! In looking back, I can see how God relentlessly pursued me from the age of 10, and still does. Why? That’s a question for God himself, because I don’t have a clue. He has a job for me, I know that much. I don’t know what that is in entirety, but I try to at least listen for his instruction. I fail many times, but in his immense patience and mercy, he shows me my errors, and never gives up. Even when I strayed for 15 years, he waited for me. No human would have done that. I also thank God for all the other blessings I counted above. He, after all, made it possible. Our first and sixteenth presidents said it best about Thanksgiving and to whom we should ultimately give thanks for all we have: Whereas it is the duty of all nations to acknowledge the providence of Almighty God, to obey His will, to be grateful for His benefits, and humbly to implore His protection and favor; and Whereas both Houses of Congress have, by their joint committee, requested me to "recommend to the people of the United States a day of public thanksgiving and prayer, to be observed by acknowledging with grateful hearts the many and signal favors of Almighty God, especially by affording them an opportunity peaceably to establish a form of government for their safety and happiness:" Now, therefore, I do recommend and assign Thursday, the 26th day of November next, to be devoted by the people of these States to the service of that great and glorious Being who is the beneficent author of all the good that was, that is, or that will be; that we may then all unite in rendering unto Him our sincere and humble thanks for His kind care and protection of the people of this country previous to their becoming a nation; for the signal and manifold mercies and the favorable interpositions of His providence in the course and conclusion of the late war; for the great degree of tranquility, union, and plenty which we have since enjoyed; for the peaceable and rational manner in which we have been enable to establish constitutions of government for our safety and happiness, and particularly the national one now lately instituted for the civil and religious liberty with which we are blessed, and the means we have of acquiring and diffusing useful knowledge; and, in general, for all the great and various favors which He has been pleased to confer upon us. And also that we may then unite in most humbly offering our prayers and supplications to the great Lord and Ruler of Nations and beseech Him to pardon our national and other transgressions; to enable us all, whether in public or private stations, to perform our several and relative duties properly and punctually; to render our National Government a blessing to all the people by constantly being a Government of wise, just, and constitutional laws, discreetly and faithfully executed and obeyed; to protect and guide all sovereigns and nations (especially such as have shown kindness to us), and to bless them with good governments, peace, and concord; to promote the knowledge and practice of true religion and virtue, and the increase of science among them and us; and, generally to grant unto all mankind such a degree of temporal prosperity as He alone knows to be best. Given under my hand, at the city of New York, the 3d day of October, A.D. 1789. G. Washington The year that is drawing towards its close, has been filled with the blessings of fruitful fields and healthful skies. To these bounties, which are so constantly enjoyed that we are prone to forget the source from which they come, others have been added, which are of so extraordinary a nature, that they cannot fail to penetrate and soften even the heart which is habitually insensible to the ever watchful providence of Almighty God. In the midst of a civil war of unequalled magnitude and severity, which has sometimes seemed to foreign States to invite and to provoke their aggression, peace has been preserved with all nations, order has been maintained, the laws have been respected and obeyed, and harmony has prevailed everywhere except in the theatre of military conflict; while that theatre has been greatly contracted by the advancing armies and navies of the Union. Needful diversions of wealth and of strength from the fields of peaceful industry to the national defence, have not arrested the plough, the shuttle, or the ship; the axe had enlarged the borders of our settlements, and the mines, as well of iron and coal as of the precious metals, have yielded even more abundantly than heretofore. Population has steadily increased, notwithstanding the waste that has been made in the camp, the siege and the battle-field; and the country, rejoicing in the consciousness of augmented strength and vigor, is permitted to expect continuance of years with large increase of freedom. No human counsel hath devised nor hath any mortal hand worked out these great things. They are the gracious gifts of the Most High God, who, while dealing with us in anger for our sins, hath nevertheless remembered mercy. It has seemed to me fit and proper that they should be solemnly, reverently and gratefully acknowledged as with one heart and voice by the whole American People. I do therefore invite my fellow citizens in every part of the United States, and also those who are at sea and those who are sojourning in foreign lands, to set apart and observe the last Thursday of November next, as a day of Thanksgiving and Praise to our beneficent Father who dwelleth in the Heavens. And I recommend to them that while offering up the ascriptions justly due to Him for such singular deliverances and blessings, they do also, with humble penitence for our national perverseness and disobedience, commend to his tender care all those who have become widows, orphans, mourners or sufferers in the lamentable civil strife in which we are unavoidably engaged, and fervently implore the interposition of the Almighty Hand to heal the wounds of the nation and to restore it as soon as may be consistent with the Divine purposes to the full enjoyment of peace, harmony, tranquillity and Union. Abraham Lincoln |
| If Thomas decides the 'official' due date is the day he wants to make his grand appearance, he will be here in a mere 7 weeks. 7 weeks! That's not much time at all. How fast the time flew. As the day looms closer, the more anxious and eager I get. It's confusing to say the least. Right now, however, I want to travel down memory lane a short ways. When Dave and I started down this journey, I wondered many things, some on the physical level, others on the philosophical level. For instance, how will the pregnancy go overall? How much trouble, if any, would I have? Will I make a good parent? Just how challenging will this child be? Will he (or she) sleep through the first two years like I did, or be a little terror with colic or just plain super-activity? Will I fall in love with this child from day one, or will I resent him (or her) for making me and Dave change our lives in drastic ways I can only imagine at this point? Will the child be healthy, or have physical or mental challenges that will make all our lives all the more difficult? All but one of the questions I still don't know the answers to. Up until now, I quit asking. I never did relay to you how I told Dave about the baby! I suspected I was pregnant for a week before I mustered the courage to buy an E.P.T test. I waited that long for two reasons. One, I didn't want to spend the money on a test only to find out the next day I should have waited. The other was our 15th wedding anniversary was coming up (May 15). I figured if I was right, what a great anniversary gift it would be. A bit of an aside, the day of our anniversary, the concrete on our new garage was poured. When it was still wet, Dave carved a heart with our names in it in the corner by one of the garage doors – his gift to me. Wasn't that sweet? As soon as I came home, I took one of the tests. It was a very positive positive. I figured I would be super-excited at that point, but – maybe it was more of a shock, I don't know – but I really wasn't. I guess I saw it more as validation for what I already knew. Now came the time to tell Dave. But I couldn't. Dave's cousin had come over to see the garage, and Dave invited him to stay for supper. I wasn't about to reveal my good news to anyone but Dave, mostly because we decided a long time ago not to tell anyone until after the third month. So I had to wait. And wait. And wait. It was a very long three hours, let me tell ya! Finally, Kyle received a phone call, and he stepped outside to talk. I took Dave to the living room and said, “I want to give you your anniversary present.” “Okay.” I then pulled out the pregnancy test from my desk drawer and handed it to him (Yes, I washed it off first!!). He saw the little “+” sign, looked up at me with a superb grin and said, “Really?” Right then Kyle came back in, so he gave me a quick kiss and we acted like nothing was up. Dave seemed less excited about the news than I did. I asked him later and he said, “I had a feeling you were anyway, since you were late.” I didn't realize until then he kept track. The first trimester, I worried a lot. I worried about the baby and whether or not it would survive. I had a few scares in the meantime with some bleeding – which turned out to be nothing, and quite common, and terrible gas cramps from eating asparagus one night (never did that again!). Morning sickness was more of a constant annoyance than anything. It's funny. I listened to a few of my CDs during that time, because it helped, but now I can't. Listening to them reminds me of it, and again makes me nauseated. Even the fan on my home computer reminds me of it, which is one reason I've stayed off it. Weird, huh? I'm sure that will pass soon enough. Second trimester was uneventful overall. I felt great, and no scares. Plus, I started feeling the baby move around. Only seeing him move on the ultrasound gave me more joy and filled me with wonder. This the final trimester is fairly easy. As the days pass and my belly grows, it's harder to get comfortable. I've also had a few dizziness spells to the point I had to sit or lay down lest I pass out. Interesting sensation, that. Yawning or taking deep breaths is a challenge. I'm now wearing shoes I don't have to tie. I still can tie my shoes, but it's uncomfortable. My pelvis is also expanding, and a few times a day on average it's downright painful. I don't complain about that much, because my body is doing exactly what it's supposed to do. Besides, I know that pain is nothing compared to what I'll be enduring when Thomas decides it's time. I don't tire of Thomas moving around – except when he has the hiccups. I didn't realize that rhythmic flicking resonating in my belly was him hiccuping until I read about it in one of my pregnancy books. Of all the sensations, that's the most annoying. When he's particularly active I can watch my belly roll and jerk. Very cool! He's also strong enough now, a few nights ago as I snuggled up to Dave's back, he kicked so hard it woke Dave up. That's a strong kick, because Dave is a hard sleeper. My dreams have become more vivid of late as well, which I've read is also quite normal. It's a combination of hormones as well as the typical anxiety and eagerness that comes with the approaching birth date. Some have been fun while others have been downright terrifying. I'm also re-asking the questions I asked at the beginning: What makes me think I'm qualified to even be a parent? Will he be healthy? Will I make such huge mistakes I end up harming the little guy? Scary stuff. Then again, what parent knows what he or she is doing from day one, especially for a first child? It's a process of learning all around. Being scared is a good thing, I think, because I'll be paying closer attention to the baby's needs. At least that's my hope. Besides, this baby is an answer to a three year old prayer. If God didn't think Dave and I were capable, he wouldn't have given us Thomas. |
| Every writer has strengths and weaknesses when it comes to writing. For instance, one might be excellent at detail, while another excels at action. For me it's dialogue. I discovered that again writing my nano (now at 12,117 words and counting. I may actually get to 14k by the end of the day. Woohoo!). In every scene, I bet over 80% is dialogue. I actually have to pause and consciously add detail or action. But, like my hubby said yesterday, the point of Nanowrimo is to write 50k words; they don't have to make sense or even be coherent. It's to help us get into the habit of writing every day. I have a few questions for you: What are your writing strengths and weaknesses? If you're doing nano (or simply writing because you gotta), do you find yourself concentrating on those strengths, or trying to strengthen your weaknesses? |
| Had I known having a baby would bring out the generosity of others – even those I never met in person – I would have gotten pregnant sooner, and more often. I’m kidding! Seriously, though, I have a few people to thank, and shameless plug at the same time. Nada  sent Thomas the cutest outfit a few weeks ago. Dave wanted to model it for her, but he couldn’t get his big foot to fit, so you’ll have to wait for Thomas’s arrival before you’ll see it.karabu sent him a cloth numbers book made by her hand. It’s not only beautiful, but incredibly well-made. I know Thomas will love it, even if only for a chew toy for a while. You can find other items she makes for children at: http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=5026538 letgocling will be letting her membership expire come November 15. While I’m saddened to see her go, at the same time, she’s following her dreams and passions via her new website at: http://www.karlakassebaum.com You can read more about it in her entry: "Goodbye to All"  As for me, all I have going aside from a continually growing baby in my belly is a pathetic Nano word count of 10,102. At this rate I’ll be lucky to make 25k. I’m not concerned or depressed by it. I’m honestly surprised I’ve typed that many considering I don’t have much of a brain to work with. This is my third year doing Nano, and this year is the first time I’m not stressing over it. I’m having fun instead. The story is interesting, but the characters need a little help (haven’t fleshed them out enough, but they do surprise me once in a while). I think I finally reached a more exciting point in the story, but coming up with the motivation to see where it’s going is another matter. I know. It takes discipline. Sit down and type, and don’t worry about the details. After all, I’m not having trouble now typing this entry, am I? |
| The problem with not being around is I miss important news from fellow writers, some of it good, some of it not. For instance, I missed PastVoices ’s last entry about her neck, and an old injury causing her immense pain. Here I am a week later, and just getting a clue. I called to check on her after I read her entry. We talked for about 30 minutes. Because of the nerve damage, she can’t write or even sit at her computer for any length of time, because her left arm goes numb. She asked me to relay a few thoughts to you. Her doctor’s put her on Oxycotton (sp) for the pain, but it’s only enough to make it tolerable. Because of the constant pain, and still not receiving any support – emotional or otherwise – from family, she is undergoing depression medication adjustments. Next week she’ll see a pain management physician to hopefully find a way to further alleviate the pain in her neck. She also wants you to know she misses you all. Nanette’s one joy, as usual, is Tara. Nanette sent me photographs of her dressed for Halloween as Holly Hobby: ** Image ID #1344192 Unavailable ** ** Image ID #1344195 Unavailable ** ** Image ID #1344196 Unavailable ** ** Image ID #1344197 Unavailable ** ** Image ID #1344198 Unavailable ** |
| The problem with starting out with good intentions is they never turn out how I expect. For instance, I expected to write like a madwoman over the weekend, but managed to eke out a mere 2,924 words. I’m not concerned about it. I still have 25 days to catch up. I have no excuse to offer my lack of verbosity other than lack of motivation. Though I’m interested in the story and the characters – already taking turns in the plot I didn’t expect but nonetheless excite me – I can’t seem to concentrate on it. I’d rather watch a movie, dang it. I’m hungry. I’m going to the store for a snack . . . |
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