My name is Ina Dalrymple. A true lady never discusses her age. But then, as my brother Eli would be the first to tell you, I'm not much of a lady. Suffice it to say, while I'm heralded as one of Waterfront City's oldest citizens, they don't know the half of it. Eli is older, but he's on the grumpy and cantankerous side, while I'm sweet and friendly,... and one of the reasons Eli is grumpy and cantankerous.
Speaking of Eli, he came to my house to pay me a visit, and to complain. "I got a visit from Madame Vague the other day," he said.
"She dropped by to pay a call on me, as well," I replied.
"She said you were thinking of putting on the suit again."
"Really? She told me that I'd be pregnant again in a few years. I wonder which one will come true first?"
"Don't joke, Ina. I know you. We aren't kids anymore."
"Speak for yourself, big brother: my doctor says I'll live to be 100." And I passed that landmark before he was born.
"Bad enough those whippersnappers are up to shenanigans," he said. "Why do you have to get involved?"
"'Whippersnappers'?" I asked. "That's out of date, even for you. And if they're so irresponsible, wouldn't you think someone responsible should be watching over them?"
He shook his head. "I guess you're not going to be satisfied until you've found a way to get yourself killed. You should leave it to Heather, and hope none of those fool kids turns out like Cy." He got up and left.
I shook my head. Not because of our argument - at times, I thought our little contretemps were the only thing that kept him out of some dreadful nursing home - but because he hardly touched his tea, and never touched his vanilla sandwich wafers. I poured the cold tea down the sink, ate the cookies, and went to my bedroom.
There, among the standard furnishings, was something that would have confirmed to Eli that I was up to my old mischief: my pet mouse, Oracle. I've been blind since the day I was born; but, thanks to a friend of mine who I called Madame West, my other senses are acute to an uncanny degree. Oracle is my ace in the hole: When I clear my mind, I can see through her eyes.
I let her out of her cage, and she ran up my arm and onto my shoulder. "Hello, old friend," I said, in response to her squeaks. "Ready for more excitement tonight?"
We walked back to the living room. Before I could settle back into my chair,...
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