Caroline looks at you, her expression friendly. A warm smile plays across her lips and she winks at you. She then turns to face the judge and starts to make her case.
“Your honour, let me first make it clear to the court that I bear this man no ill will. The defendant is a neighbour of ours and has shown my daughters and me nothing bot kindness. He’s a very sweet man, always popping in to help out with odd jobs or, even, just to chat. We are very fond of him indeed. However, as I’m sure the court will understand, as a mother my first responsibility is always to my daughters, Sarah and Chloe. As a woman, I also have a responsibility to maintain the social order and keep the menfolk in their place.”
The judge nods, solemnly. “I couldn’t agree more. Please continue.”
”Thank you, your honour. My youngest daughter, Chloe, has grown particularly fond of the defendant. He’s kind and thoughtful to her. In fact, he’s probably a little over-indulgent. He brings her sweets whenever he pops round to visit me and is very patient with her when she wants to play. I haven’t discouraged him, because he’s a lovely man. I think he might be sweet on me…”
You are confused as you listen to Caroline. Everything she is saying reinforces how much she and her girls like you. Why, then, has Caroline called you to the Vore Court?
Caroline continues to lay out her case. “Your honour, I think it is only fitting that men are mindful of their role in our society and never forget the females are the superior sex. Indeed, it is probably wise for them to think of us in much the same way as a mouse might think of a cat. The very existence of the Vore Court should be a reminder to every man that, whilst it isn’t an everyday occurrence, we womenfolk do occasionally EAT men. This, then, is the crux of my argument. I ask the court to consider; what should a mouse expect if it lets a cat taste it?”
You suddenly have a sinking feeling, remembering a game that little Chloe was playing with you the other week.
The judge leans forward in her seat, a serious expression on her face. “Any mouse that was foolish enough to allow itself to be tasted should, of course, fully expect to get gobbled up. Are you telling me that the defendant actually allowed your daughter to TASTE him?”
Caroline nodded. “That’s exactly what I’m saying, your honour. Apparently, they were playing a game together and, during that game, the defendant allowed Chloe to take a play bite out of his arm. I must confess to feeling slightly responsible for not intervening sooner. I had no idea that the defendant would be foolish enough to let Chloe taste him. Perhaps I should have...”
“You are not responsible for the foolish actions of any man.” the judge said, glancing at you with a look of pure disapproval. “You, sir, should be prepared to take full responsibility for the consequences of your actions. We womenfolk have a particularly acute sense of taste. Men make the very finest eating. You are, without doubt, the most appetizing food any woman will ever taste. It is difficult enough for an adult woman to suppress the urge to eat a man she has tasted. I can only imagine how much more difficult it would be for a young girl” The judge turned her attention back to Caroline. “Please tell the court, how has this incident affected your daughter?”
Caroline continued her account. “It has caused her a great deal of upset, your honour. I know you won’t be surprised when I tell you how much she loved his flavour. She was really happy at first, saying that she had never tasted anything so delicious It’s all she wants to talk about. She’s desperate to eat him and was inconsolable when I told her that women have to be 16 or older before they can file a case with the Vore Court. She’s only 9 years old, your honour. I just don’t think it is fair for her to have to put up with this craving for another 7 years. Not only that, since the defendant is both a neighbour and a friend, she sees him practically every day. That’s why I am bringing the case against the defendant. I think it was grossly unfair of the defendant to let my little girl bite him and then deny her the pleasure of finishing her meal. Knowing the defendant as I do, I am happy that he’s in good health and I think he would make a delicious meal for my little girl. It would be no less than he deserves after getting her hopes up so carelessly. Your honour, I’m asking you to find in my favour and reclassify the defendant as food for Chloe.”
The judge listens carefully and then replies. “An excellent opening statement. The court certainly agrees that it is grossly unfair to appeal to a young girl’s taste buds without giving her the opportunity to satisfy the insatiable hunger that she must feel as a direct result. I certainly agree that the defendant does, indeed, look particularly delicious. Although I AM tempted to rule in your daughter's favour without wasting any more time, this is a court of law and I am obliged to ensure that we follow due process.” With that, the judge turns to face you.
“You have heard the claimant’s request and you may now respond. I caution you to choose your words with care. I appreciate that these proceedings can be very upsetting for our defendants but we expect you to speak respectfully at all times. If I do not like your tone, I shall have no hesitation in granting the claimant’s request. Now, as a friend of the claimant and her daughters, I expect that you will understand how difficult it must be for young Chloe to know how delicious you are and yet not be allowed to eat you. What would you like to say at this stage?”
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