Sure, some people say having kids ruins your body! And while Harper had to admit that she wasn't quite in the shape she assumed she'd always be in after high school, she also didn't think she looked awful! Sure, Harper couldn't lie: Her body jiggled more than it ever had before, and yes, after she had her (beautiful perfect shining light) baby, her hips were still too wide to shove into any of her old pants, and sure, none of her bras actually fit her anymore, and fine, her addiction to sweets hadn't curbed in the several months after she gave birth...
Excuses are easy to make when you blame hormones.
Still, Harper was feeling good! Her two, lovely, wonderful daughters were splitting baby duty (Piper was usually more than happy to, Parker was more than happy to whine at every opportunity, but they both still lived under her roof, dammit, so she could shove it) which meant Harper got plenty of opportunities to go out and... Well, do what a woman in her late thirties could do, which was get drinks with her coworkers and awkwardly hit on men who looked to be in her age range!
And for the most part, it was awesome! Harper wasn't dumb, she knew that despite having three kids, she was an attractive woman. The extra pounds weren't doing her a lot of favors, but between her first two daughters loudly fighting, and her newborn crying, she didn't really have a whole bunch of time to go outside and jog, or whatever people did to lose weight (Harper's astounding lack of knowledge regarding a dietary stable and physical activity lifestyle didn't help her lose pounds either).
But, to her credit, post-pregnancy hormones were a beast unto themselves. It wasn't rare for Harper to wake up in the morning, stagger to the kitchen, and find herself making a hearty, healthy breakfast consisting of Frosted Flakes with chocolate milk (and chocolate syrup), along with a grittle of nothing but bacon and a nice tall glass of coffee that consisted of 50% cream and a hearty splash of caramel. While she didn't quite recall what she had been munching down on while she was actually pregnant, she did recall more than once morning where she just ate an inhuman amount of donuts. Like... Way too many. An alarming amount of donuts (usually frosted, sometimes with sprinkles).
However, now that she was several months away from pregnancy, it occurred to Harper that maybe blaming the hormones wasn't exactly... Accurate. However...
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