“Y’all ready for another encore?” Miley Cyrus Claus asked her concertgoers. The deafening roar of the crowd inspired her to launch into the most popular song off her Christmas album, though truthfully since becoming Mrs. Claus all her albums were now Christmas albums. It was almost unbelievable that she could record an album in time for Christmas every year, but she was Mrs. Claus so unbelievable was just another morning before breakfast for her. She had thickened up after becoming Mrs. Claus but she was still Miley, and still a bit boy centric, but it’s what attracted Santa Claus to her in the first place. A quality that the former Mrs. Claus could see in Miley, and a quality she had taken advantage of for everyone’s betterment.
Miley had been young when she had met the former Mrs. Claus. They had only met the once but it was the single most life changing event that either of them would ever have.
Miley had been in a coffee house doing her best to keep a low profile. She had settled into a comfy chair, through her headphones on, and lost herself into the music she had wanted to listen to for so long. She closed her eyes and sipped her coffee as she nodded her head to the beat.
A larger older woman sat down beside Miley and blew on her warm cocoa to cool it off. Miley didn’t take too much stock in this as she scrolled through her Instagram, but was a little surprised when the woman began talking to her as if they were old friends, “So did you mean what you said in that interview? That if you could go back, you would have used our influence more wisely? To try and steer your fans in more productive and constructive ways? To try to make the world better for young people everywhere?”
“Um, excuse me?” Miley asked, a little shocked at how forward the woman was. She talked as if she knew her, and truth be told Miley did feel that she knew her in some way. “I guess so, I mean I definitely wished that I had used my position to influence for the better. I’m sorry, but do I know you?”
“Yes,” the woman smiled and nodded. She took a sip of her cocoa and turned to Miley who felt relaxed and safe in this woman’s company. “Miley I can give you a platform to touch the lives of every child in the world. You may have to give up some of your current lifestyle, an tone down the sex, but you could be the person that billions look towards on how to act towards one another.” Miley gulped and looked around to see if anyone else had heard this, but was amazed to find out that the world was acting like they weren’t there at all. “They can only see us if I want them to. You’ll be able to do the same if you take up my offer.”
“Who are?” Miley asked. She was astounded to realize that she felt no fear in a situation where she should be a little panicky.
“I’m Mrs. Claus Miley, and I offer you the chance to take my place.”
“You’re Mrs. Claus?”
“Well the latest one,” she giggled. “The position of Mrs. Claus is a constantly changing one. Some Mrs. Clauses last a hundred years, some a single year, it all depends on what you want the role to be and how quickly you accomplish those goals.”
“And Santa is real too?” Miley asked astonished.
“Absolutely. There have only been two and the current one is hung like a prized stallion. Some morning I can barely walk after he’s split me in two on that thing,” she winked. Miley laughed at the inappropriateness of the details, but it was good to know there would be some benefits to the job. “Miley I want to give you my wedding ring and make you the new Mrs. Claus. I truly believe you can use your influence for the betterment of all children everywhere. Will you do it? Will you wear my ring and marry yourself to the spirit of Christmas?”
Miley thought about it for half a second. She wasn’t one to over think things and would often go with her gut, and rarely did she feel it steered her wrong. “I’ll do it!” Mrs. Claus slipped the ring from her finger and onto Miley’s.
The second the ring was on her finger the transformation began. Her slight frame thickened, her arms and chest becoming quite thick with curve creating fat. Her booty and thighs plumped up, and her hair became a lustrous silver color and tied itself in a bun. Her clothes changed to a traditional Mrs. Claus long dress with an apron, bonnet, black ballet flats, and white gloves. Everyone in the coffee shop was shocked at the transformation. Miley simply smiled and waved her gloved hand and everyone went back to not noticing her and her companion. Miley was ready to take her new position as Mother to all the children of the world. “What now?”
“Now,” the former Mrs. Claus smiled, “Go knock them dead!”
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