[With apologies to the original author of this chapter, I felt it could use a re-write.]
Dirty, sore, and limping, the Lawndale High cheerleading squad draggled into the cafeteria, taking their clique's usual table, just past the fasionistas and to one side of the geeks and brains.
Grimacing slightly as she rotated a shoulder, Lisa complained, "Ooooh, I don't understand it; every time we try a human pyramid, it keeps falling down."
"Like, I know!" squeaked Nicky. "Like, we really need to do something, or how will we ever support the team?"
"Weeell," drawled Brittany slowly, who despite her naivete and bubble-headed vapidness, tended to be the brains behind the group. "I think I heard Daria say something about us cheerleaders being 'top heavy'," she began in complete innocence. "And Daria's like, the biggest brain at Lawndale, so it has to be right. So maybe what we need is to put more weight at the bottom of the pyramid!" she chirped brightly.
Supported by the general positive murmuring of the flock, Angie ventured a question. "I guess that makes sense, but how do we do that? There's only so many girls we can fit at the bottom of the pyramid."
"Hmm, you're right, Angie. Oh, wait, I know!" said Brittany, bouncing excitedly at her epiphany. "If we can't put more girls at the bottom, we'll have to have more of them!"
"what? wait? huh? what do you?" Facing a wall of bovine confusion, Brittany expounded her brilliant idea further.
"Since we're too top heavy, the girls at the bottom of the pyramid will have to gain weight to balance us out!" She looked around proudly at her feat of deduction, faces of shock, distaste, and, surprising, a few of curiosity, looking back.
Hardening her face in determination, Brittany attempted to rally the troops. "Come on, girls. We're cheerleaders; it's not all fun and games. We have a sacred duty to support the boys on the team. How can help them win or pump up the crowd if we don't have a human pyramid?"
Quickly polling the swirling emotions around her, Angie once again took the lead for the squad. Taking a deep breath, she began, "Well, Brittany..."
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