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About my everyday life, my struggles with addiction, sexual abuse, bipolar and family |
A blog about my life and how I got through some serious issues in hopes for a better tomorrow  |
| I've taken a break from NA. I've been in conflict with this girl in there for 2 months and I can't take it anymore. I could go to another meeting but choose not to at this point. I still have a sponsor but have been pulling away from him too. Tomorrow is my mother's 10 year anniversary of her death and I'm not sure how I feel about it. As you know I've been having issues with her as though she is alive but she's dead. Maybe this is why I'm pulling away from everybody, but I'm not sure. I'm working on my mother issues and at times it's painful. She was a very abusive woman and not really a mother. I'm sure things will get better as I work through them to see her in a more positive light. Have an awesome day |
| I haven't had a serious relationship since 2007. I have been working on myself and preparing myself for love since I was last hurt. My addiction and background has caused me to choose men who are emotionally unavailable and one's who abandon me. I wrote the below poem in hopes to find my true love one day and how happy that would make me. The Arrival Of My Love As my healthy soul awaits For true love to come along, I’ll prepare my heart for love By being patient and strong. I’ll wander through the flowers And smell each and every one. Pick a few along the way, Make a bouquet when I’m done. I’ll then take off both my shoes And then tip toe through the grass. I’ll feel the earth beneath me, With sheer elegance and class. I’ll listen to the birds sing And sometimes sing along. I’ll enjoy the warm sunshine, ‘Cause this is where I belong. So when the day is over I will check in with my heart, Make sure that it’s still ready, For love to be a part. When my true love comes along, I won’t hesitate to say, That waiting for my true love Has made me happy today. WRITTEN BY: KYM ERICKSON 4/12/13 |
| This poem illustrates how I would like to live my life in this world and die going to heaven. A spiritual poem. My Arrival The pearly gates to heaven. This is where I want to be. Where love is in abundance And God’s waiting there for me. The steps I take to get there Will be measured from my life. Judgment will be for myself And awarded for doing right. This path is what I choose to take, Though there are no guarantees. The day I walk through heaven’s gate, Will be the day I am set free. Free from all my pain and sorrow, Where only happiness lives above, Because my own belief in Him, Is the reason I have his love. In the end when my life’s complete And my journey here is done. Only then will I truly know The true person I had become. WRITTEN BY: KYM ERICKSON 4/9/13 |
| My sponsor from NA dropped me because he had sexual feelings for me. This has crushed me the past 6 days, I am trying to get over it. I know I shouldn't have had a male sponsor, but I thought he was different. We have remained good friends, seems how he knows everything about me from doing the 12 steps. I'm doing a second book. Poetry book. It is about my journey through the first year and a half of recovery. When I get it published, I will let you know. Other than that, just spent the last 6 days dealing with my feelings and my anger and sheer sadness. |
| Feeling lonely is different than being alone. A lot of the time I am lonely. I spend a lot of time in my apartment and in isolation not because I want to, but because I have no girlfriends to do anything with. Here is a poem I wrote about loneliness. Connecting With My Loneliness Feeling lost and lonely. Sheltered with no friends. Where loneliness surrounds me, Where the beginning is the end. Where pain is felt intensely Giving me time to search my soul. To seek and find solutions To finally make me whole. To get rid of my loneliness And then try and find a way. To help and give to others, Or just make someone’s day. To look beyond my own needs And make better my own life. Will send away my loneliness And make everything alright. WRITTEN BY: KYM ERICKSON 4/2/13 Kymberly Erickson :) |
| Happy Easter to all. He Is Risen Happy Easter Jesus For rising from the dead. For dying for my sins And the words you have said. For being who you are And who I am with you. You mean the world to me I believe in all you do. Please stay there in my heart And love me like you do. I pray for all others, So that they might know you too. WRITTEN BY: KYM ERICKSON 3/31/13 |
| This poem reminds me when the system took away my son, when he was 7 years old. I lost custody. It was the most difficult time ever in my whole life. I never regained custody, but today we have a great relationship. He has forgiven me and has invited me into his life. I love you son. Against All Odds I was standing at the corner With nothing left to lose. The system took my children, Because my first love had been booze. I heard my children cry that day As they slowly slipped away. Their hands reached out towards me, As I begged for them to stay. Tears were rolling down their face As they were placed inside the car. The drugs had kept us far apart Now the distance will make us far. I thought about the role I played And the mistakes I chose to make. By using drugs and alcohol My children’s lives were both at stake. I pulled myself together, Got off alcohol and drugs. My children both came back to me With forgiveness and with hugs. WRITTEN BY: KYM ERICKSON 3/28/13 |
| I'm really confused lately about God. I was raised Catholic and that, amongst other bad things, messed me up. I am not trying to find a God of my understanding. I know I will find him. Searching For My Savior Searching for my savior And hoping I will find, A God that I can trust Who loves me and is kind. One who will protect me, Listen and understand, Be there for me always And reach out for my hand. A God who doesn’t judge Or try to treat me bad. One who’s not punishing, For that is what I had. A God who won’t leave me, Say things that just aren’t true, Make empty promises Or cause me to feel blue. I want a connection That makes me feel alive. One that will help me grow, Not struggle to survive. Searching for my savior, A journey I will take, This time I am willing As long as he’s not fake. WRITTEN BY: KYM ERICKSON 3/27/13 |
| I am so grateful for everything and everyone in my life. Life is good right now.Dealing with some intense issues, but I will work through them and come out on top. For These, I’m Grateful I’m grateful for the things in life And the gifts that God gave me. For each and every blessing That He wanted me to see. I’m grateful for the different ways That my God has shown me love. He taught me how to love myself As He sat there up above. I’m grateful for those people God has put in front of me, To share and spend time with In some peaceful harmony. I’m grateful for all this and more And the things I failed to say. What I am most grateful for Is to live another day. WRITTEN BY: KYM ERICKSON 3/25/13 |
| I believe the words I write and the poems I create flow through me like God does. This poem just expresses that belief. I Am Just A Vessel I am just a vessel Of those words I write and say. For God is there behind them, In very promising ways. These words I write include Him In poems there to convey, The message placed inside my soul For all those to hear today. Some poems are deep in meaning, While some can make you upset. No matter how they come across, They’re simple enough to get. I write a lot about the truth In the way it comes to me. Own your truth with what you know Which will always set you free. So I will keep on writing, Until the day I write no more. The message in my writings Will keep you coming back for more. WRITTEN BY: KYM ERICKSON 3/25/13 |
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created by God continue to light your way and blanket you with his loving warmth from the cold dark path of drugs and alcohol. You Are Awesome =) Take care.
cause I am.... but I relate to what this poem itself is saying. I wish I had an angel, someone to lean on, I guess you can say... but don't think I understood belief in angels et cetera... I guess I am just glad that even in creativity someone can understand what we go through--even if its just a creative fictional level.
