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About my everyday life, my struggles with addiction, sexual abuse, bipolar and family |
A blog about my life and how I got through some serious issues in hopes for a better tomorrow  |
| I wrote this today in regards to a picture prompt. Hope you like it Redneck Ride I strapped my son to our van, So no one else could see. That he indeed had moved back home, and wasn’t our company. He brought with him this red moped, and a tire that’s too big. All be brought with him was junk, and he dresses like a pig. He has no job, he’s unemployed, and can’t pay me a dime. He only had two options, My house or do some time. His priceless junk I cannot sell, It is worthless to the core. If I could get away with it, I’d through it out the door. I know this is a big mistake, but I love him he’s my son. Should he get out of hand, I’ll show him my new gun. This will put him back on track, To show him I’m in control. Then quietly sit down to eat, and enjoy my casserole. WRITTEN BY: KYM ERICKSON 4/4/12 |
| I'm feeling really good today. My recovery is coming along.I'm working through my resentments and helping others a bit. I gave two gifts to to friends in NA and I never give gifts. All I cared about was receiving gifts. ME, me, Me. My dad doesn't know how to deal with things so he's kinda a mess. I realized the he had a few resentment towards me, financially. I can't wait until he doesn't have to help me anymore. Nothing is for free. I was invited to go to a convention next month and I think that will be good for me. I'm struggling a little bit to write a poem. Lacking topics. I keep not wanting to go to the gym, I'm not sure why. I do feel fat though.  |
| Trying to build a close and deeper relationship with my son he can get to know the true me instead of old lies and rumors his father and others told him from when he was young until now. BUILDING BLOCKS I see you all grown up now, and see who you’ve become. I smile whenever I see you, You’re one really special son. You’re someone I am proud of, and I miss you terribly. I love you more than ever, You make me happy. As your mother I still see you, As the little boy I knew. It’s hard to break the ties sometimes, and recognize what’s true. I want to know you better, and get closer than we are. Build a strong relationship, That can take us very far. I want to share my life with you, and you in turn with me. On an even deeper level, So it’s me you really see. Let me work on building trust, As we put our pasts aside. Let’s see what becomes of this, As we take our lives in stride. It’s time you got to know me, Without old rumors and past lies. I really am a good person, If you just give me a try. So let me be a friend to you, A parent if you need. Let’s grow in our relationship, In ways so we succeed. Just know that I do love you, You’re always in my heart. Though separated by distance, We’re never truly apart. WRITTEN BY: KYM ERICKSON 4/2/12 |
| Today we have a NA picnic with our morning meeting people. Should be interesting. I am 7-1/2 months clean. I can't wait to get to a year. I don't have a long distance relationship, I wouldn't, but I wrote a poem about one. Hope you like it. My speaking in the meeting is getting better as I gain some confidence. The Distance Between Us Award Winner Though you are far away, My heart still says you’re here. You are someone that I miss, You’re special and you’re dear. Late at night when I’m alone, I can feel your presence near. I can almost touch you, but instead I cry a tear. Sometimes you’re so far away, I feel I’m losing hope. Of us being together, At times it’s hard to cope. I miss you in my life and arms, That’s where you need to be. Is that something you do want, To be with only me? The distance here between us, Is just forcing us apart. Do you love me enough, To completely take my heart? Something here has got to change, It’s getting harder to hold on. Do you love me from far away, or forget me when I’m gone? Our precious love is fading, I need you here with me. In person here together, or you must set me free. WRITTEN BY: KYM ERICKSON 3/16/12 |
| All the Right Feelings When things are going my way, I’m happy and joyous inside. Knowing that God is there, As my protector and my guide. I feel happy today. When someone brings me a flower, To just brighten up my day. It makes me feel real special, That someone went out of their way, I feel acknowledged today. To be of service to someone, Who really needs some help. Makes me feel good inside, Since I also helped myself. I feel needed today. When my thoughts are positive, You’ll never see me frown. I put on my biggest smile, and let nothing get me down. I feel positive today. All these things and so much more, Are positive things in my life. Do for others as you would yourself, Without any sort of strife. I feel grateful today. WRITTEN BY: KYM ERICKSON 3/29/12 |
| i've noticed being in my recovery and the 4th step, that I am trying to be so perfect. Some of my character defects are coming out. Such as perfectionism. I am running such a straight line that I am trying so hard not to build resentments or having to make amends to anyone. I did make a mistake the other day and I was able to apologize to that person right away. However, this person is now treating me different, possibly because she was hurt. She use to be my sponsor for the first two steps. I intentionally hurt her saying I had an awesome sponsor, meaning my new sponsor. I had heard that she said i called my friend a stupid bitch. Which wasn't true. Come to find out she didn't say it her brother did. Anyways, that is my first mistake and I do regret it. I don't want to have to make amends to anymore people than I have to and I definitely don't want anymore resentments. |
| A love that I am looking for and really hope some day to find. Love Runs Deep Safely wrapped within your arms, A close and sweet embrace. Let your hands caress my skin, In every special way. Let me feel your breath on me, Whisper softly in my ear. Protect me as you guide me, Take away my every fear. Let your love engulf me, and flow gently through my veins. Let your warmth surround me, and ease my inner pains. Let me be there for you, Support you and show love. Let me be a gift to you, That was sent from God above. Support me and accept me, and let me be the one. To fill your every dream, Until the day is done. Be the person I need most, To help make me who I am. Let me grow and prosper, In the best way that I can. Let me hold you every night, and hug you throughout the day. Let me be with you forever, In ways that make you stay. WRITTEN BY: KYM ERICKSON 3/26/12 |
| Just a little poem to express that I do feel. I Feel Today When I’m standing in the hallway, With my back against the wall. People talking, passing by, Overlook me when I call. I feel ignored today. Are their hands there to help me, or to help take me away? I’m confused at what they want, Do I leave or do I stay? I feel betrayed today. I feel lonely and alone, Wrapped up in my world. Unsure to my existence, Am I boy or a girl? I feel unsure today. When all hope seems lost, and I’m scared to speak. When no one understands, Or they call me a freak. I feel abnormal today. When the pain is overwhelming, and it gets harder to cope. When I’ve given up on myself, and there is no more hope. I’ve abandoned myself today. WRITTEN BY: KYM ERICKSON 3/26/12 |
| I went to an NA function yesterday and ran into my ex-boyfriend and drug dealer dealing drugs right across the street where I was. We spoke briefly. I couldn't believe it. Of all places and of all people. It brought up all my stuff and feelings about him and my addiction. I was so glad to be clean and free from all of that and the drugs. One Day You Will Know You hurt me more than words can say, That’s why we do not speak. You damaged me immensely, and left me feeling weak. You say you do not understand, The things you’ve done to me. If you stood there in my shoes, You’d see what I do see. The pain you caused is not unique, It cut me deep inside. After everything I have endured, It’s time to say goodbye. One day you’ll experience, What you’ve done you see. That’s when you will truly know, How it felt to be me. WRITTEN BY: KYM ERICKSON 3/25/12 |
| Just an odd poem I wrote. Unnoticed I’m looking at you for a kiss, With my lips all a glow. My tear drips off my lips, and you don’t even know. The pain I feel inside myself, Is more than I can take. You fail to even notice me, As if I were a mistake. Let me go away and hide, and heal my secret pain. Embarrassed of my existence, All I feel is shame. WRITTEN BY: KYM ERICKSON 3/24/12 |
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created by God continue to light your way and blanket you with his loving warmth from the cold dark path of drugs and alcohol. You Are Awesome =) Take care.
cause I am.... but I relate to what this poem itself is saying. I wish I had an angel, someone to lean on, I guess you can say... but don't think I understood belief in angels et cetera... I guess I am just glad that even in creativity someone can understand what we go through--even if its just a creative fictional level.
