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About my everyday life, my struggles with addiction, sexual abuse, bipolar and family |
A blog about my life and how I got through some serious issues in hopes for a better tomorrow  |
| Things are going great right now. Tomorrow I start step 1 of the twelve steps. I'm still not sure about my sponsor, but I will give it some time to grow. I'm sure it's me not opening up that is holding things back. My fibromyalgia is still acting up in my hands, neck and my toes. I still think my son has a drinking problem, I only hope that he will see me as a good example and he might stop drinking, at least cut down seems how he says he's a binge drinker. Well everyone have a nice day. |
| My brother passed his written test at the DMV, now he has to take a driving test. He is going to lose everything. He doesn't care about anything. I wrote him a poem yesterday telling him to get his act together, but it was like talking to a child. Feeling a bit down today. My brother is in town so I am going to see him. My dad just called, my brother is getting out of control and now wants to hold a family meeting. We have never had a family meeting before. I am a bit nervous but will do the best I can. Here's a poem I wrote. Talks about love and aging, etc. Hope you enjoy it. A Journey Home Aging is a complex process, it’s something we all will do. How can I age without you, when I don’t remember you? Life is one big journey, we either live or we die. Cut short early at anytime, when we’re forced to say goodbye. My heart holds my memories, of all the years gone by. We age, wrinkle, grow old, for some, before we die. Good and bad times in our lives, makes us who we are. Aging makes us look on back, to where we’ve come so far. So tell me how to remember you, before it gets too late. Your face, your touch, your smile, will stand the test of fate. Days are numbered, my heart is cold death is at my door. My journey’s done, it’s over now, it can no longer be ignored. Our years together have been the best, I love you from my heart. Although I will be leaving you, we will never be apart. Kymberly Erickson |
| Today my brother sees if he gets his license back or not. I am not looking forward to this. Each day he becomes more child like. Almost too much for our family to handle with his Dementia. As I'm traveling through my recovery, I noticed these men coming out of the woodwork who want to have sex with me only. They must sense my vulnerability. Maybe I should go to an all women's meeting instead of coed. Yesterday on the freeway some guy pulled up along side of me and wanted me to roll down my window. I wouldn't. He then made gestures that he wanted me to push my tshirt down so he could see part of my boobs. I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THIS GUY. I was appealed and disgusted. What is is about me that all this keeps happening? A guy from my NA meeting called the guy that was bothering me in the group, him aggressively wanting sex to, I said "no", for him to leave me alone. I hope that went well. No wonder why I isolate in my apartment, to stay away from these men. |
| Just a spiritual poem I'd like to share Blind Faith Aren’t we all blind in faith, living on this earth?. Faith is something you believe, it’s not there at your birth. My hand is held there out to you, in hopes you’ll walk my way. Trust in me and all I do, and hear the words I say. Belief in what you cannot see, I would never lead you astray. Ask me what you think you need, in your thoughts and when you pray. You will never be alone, I’m right there by your side. Do not ever be afraid, for I’ll aways be your guide. I’m here for you anytime, as long as you believe. My love for you is genuine, just know I’ll never leave. WRITTEN BY: KYM ERICKSON 1/2/12 PICTURE PROMPT |
| This poem was written, today, at my 4-1/2 months being sober. Time is going by fast, yet by so slow. Branching Out So much beauty inside myself, that I have to let it out. And show the world just who I am, and what I’m all about. I’m branching out to show my love, and who I have become. I’m someone who is newly clean, shining like the morning sun. The red ribbon here connects me, to the people I hold dear. As long as they support me, there is nothing I will fear. The new path I’ve been traveling, has made me blossom deep inside. I look forward to my future now, with God there by my side. My brother is really stressed out and that's not good for his Dementia. I wish I could help him out in some way. I met this guy in one of my meetings and he just wouldn't leave me alone. He tried his darnest to get me to consent to sex, but I didn't. For some reason he made me really nervous and that wasn't good. He has some red flags that I was aware of and actually took note instead of denying them or avoiding them on a person. He said that over 4 years ago he made a threat to commit and terrorist act and the fact that he had 3 boys by 3 babies mommas and he didn't see nor take care of anyone of them. I am so glad that I am growing and changing because in my addiction, I would have had sex with this man and probably got together with him. Although I told him I wanted to be friends, I still feel a bit nervous by him. He triggered my past big time and the problems I thought I had resolved, all returned again in one moment by one man. This told me he was bad news for me. |
| This is how I think my brother feels: LOSING REALITY Damaged brain, broken heart. Memories lost, torn apart. Written by: Kym Erickson I love you bro hang in there!! |
| Dilemma of Dementia Has taken my mind, my memories, my soul. Struggling to hold onto, all that I know. Skills are declining, thinking’s confused. This is my life now, one I didn’t choose. WRITTEN BY: KYM ERICKSON 12/27/11 |
| I'm feeling really good. I finally found a Sponsor so on with the 12 steps. I am anxious and nervous at the same time. I'm not going out for New Years Eve. I think I will stay home. My brother is doing really well being on Neurontin and his Dementia. I've been doing a lot of writing of poems. My ex (drug dealer) came by the other day and like a fool I let him in. His wife got him out on a TRO. He likes to do drugs in front of me. Rude I know. He just recently moved further away, so I am happy about that. I am getting stronger each day and soon my ex won't be able to get to me and he will be out of my life for good. Happy New Year |
| Well I made it through Christmas. The day was rather pleasant and my brother wasn't angry. I wrote a poem about our day and where I would like to see our family headed. Everyone please have a safe New Year's Eve. We’re on our Way We celebrated Christmas, that was so unlike the rest. Today was rather special. to me it was the best. No one fought or argued, we all just got along. We played bowling on the Wii, and heard some Christmas songs. We had tuna sandwiches for dinner, and cookies for dessert. It was like my whole family, had experienced a rebirth. A brand new start, a new beginning, to start the year anew. As long as we keep trying, we’ll surely pull on through. I’m hopeful for the future, if it’s what we want to be. Don’t give up when things get tough, just remember we’re family. We’re all learning how were suppose to be, and what we all should do. Keep believing in this process, as I believe in you. WRITTEN BY: KYM ERICKSON 12/25/11 Kymberly Erickson |
| I want to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas and a Happy 2012! I will be taking a couple of days off to spend with my family, maybe, depends how my brother acts. I don't want to fight with no one. Hopefully his new rx is beginning to work. Be safe. |
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created by God continue to light your way and blanket you with his loving warmth from the cold dark path of drugs and alcohol. You Are Awesome =) Take care.
cause I am.... but I relate to what this poem itself is saying. I wish I had an angel, someone to lean on, I guess you can say... but don't think I understood belief in angels et cetera... I guess I am just glad that even in creativity someone can understand what we go through--even if its just a creative fictional level.
