A terminal for all blogs coming in or going out. A view into my life. |
Started July 1st 2019 for contests, etc. as other blogs are filling up and have other purposes. I'm starting a new blog because
I'll be linking to
I've started an appendix (I no longer have one personally) to keep track of my Space Cadet journals for Space Blog. It's a work constantly under construction. Mind the mess.
I needed to start a folder for contests as there are so many deadlines and details to remember.
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I should do an assessment every season. My journal was set up in books by season but I've skipped so many days that the notebook I'm using will last till sprng. It's snowing, will snow all day. 24 degrees earlier this morning. I have work to do cleaning and uncluttering. If I tackle the NW corner I might be able to move my old queen bed out. It's still functional but it takes up too much space. I also need to arrange the area around my new twin bed before the frame is put into place and makes it more difficult to move things around. Almost done. I rest between working. It's the only option. I'm looking forward to a blah blah day. So... where am I at otherwise? What direction should I take; what balance needs to be sought. Thoughts: 1. Balance. I'm on the internet too much. Needs to be cut back. I need to limit time on WDC and watching Thai TV series... or just do other things more. My blog feels lonely, a long lonely month. Some days not one comment. Some days no views. 2. Like cleaning and decluttering. I've cooked more these past couple weeks and actually doing something (anything) is helping me. Potatoes and onions au gratin. 3. Still not interacting with many people and the Ghost of Omicron present is looming as this town is anti-mask and anti-vaxx and the rest of the region is worse, much worse. More: people IRL, taking care of business. Less: lost in thoughts, online. I could read... have hundreds of books. I haven't been in the mood for many months. I read online, constantly, every day; but reading a book would be a good idea. Travel... still on hold. I could study Thai more diligently. Direction? I dunno. I've thought of moving. I've thought of spending 8 months/year on the road. My old body complains about that concept. Financially, I can travel. Devil is in the details. Getting out is possible but getting back is iffy. Do I take the risk? At my age I have one foot in the grave so I'm not sure that it matters much if I just jump into the waiting hole. My trinket... perhaps not rejoining the world quite yet. |
... many years ago Last night my back went out moving things around so Bri's old bed would fit in my room. It's a twin, so once the queen is gone I'll have much more space. Normally, two rooms is sufficient for a traveler like me but I have too much clutter regardless. I look around and I'm overwhelmed. But, the bed is really comfortable. Old age... I'm long past middle age. At least I can say that I got there and survived it. Received: for
I was inspired by Wordsmitty ✍️ to write it. It tied for 1st place with
Tying with ßlueyeʐ is a great honor. Today's trinket is a memory from over 50 years ago brought to you by WakeUpAndLive️~Happiness 5432 |
I left home for college, then I went to school in Kansas. I studied abroad in Costa Rica. I moved to small towns in rural Kansas and Nebraska. When I had a house I took in refugees from many countries. Years ago... but even now I when I travel, I prefer being among strangers. In general I trust strangers more than former coworkers or 'friends'. Hard to heal trust once it's broken. When I moved to Montana I began anew. That went well for years; but, these days I'm asking myself whether I should move and do I have the strength to begin again. Lyrics: New ground Far as I can see New ground Underneath my feet Stranger In a stranger’s land New chance to know who I am If I have the strength To begin again Somewhere in my heart in ancient times I wandered Through these valleys I have climbed among these hills Faces from a past I’m haunted by their mem’ries Lives and loves I’ve lost I feel them in me still New ground Far as I can see New ground Underneath my feet Stranger In a stranger’s land New chance to know who I am If I have the strength To begin again 3× Or join professional opera singer Elizabeth Zharoff, as she listens to Dimash Kudaibergen performing "Stranger”. This is nice because she actually explains what's going on; But, it helps if you already know Dimash, appreciate world singers, and have an interest in music. Where do I want to go? PayPal tips: @Bojack911 said, "Inside a rainbow to find a new color." I like that idea. A lot. Purple Wishing WDC Happy 24th made today's trinket: |
I find it hard to get into some TV series. This one is dark as Black/White are identical twins with an uncanny connection: what one goes through the other feels. When Black is beaten up White takes his place... and therein lies a story. But it's dark... almost film noir at times and that's hard for me if my nerves are already trashed...like they are at the moment. Yes, we claim places (and sometimes people) as our own. Me? I'm being erased as I live. I'm not who I was when I was young and with very little left to anchor me with the past I'm just floating with no sense of where I am or where to go. In
Juxtaposed these two unrelated pieces of art make me ponder how much we don't choose like the connections between Black&White and those we do as we carve our initials into those we love. Scrawl you name across my chest. I'll wear the bruise with honor. The above is in response to today's prompt from "Space Blog" Sum1's In San Francisco made everyone laugh with this post: "Y'know, it's perfectly okay to talk to yourself, and it's perfectly okay to answer yourself. But it's really sad that you have to repeat what you said because you weren't listening." I don't have a great sense of humor. I'm silly not funny. And that's okay as it disarms people. Took a long time to realize that some folks were laughing with me not at me. I responded to L.A. Grawitch re where to put singing: "Instagram, YouTube? I dunno. I want to write some stories placed in Thailand... maybe a screen play... complete with music in Thai/Lao. I've even sang some to myself (melody/images rather than words). My voice left me long ago but that shouldn't stop me from singing." Today's trinket was made by Richard ~ Typing Left Handed |
for "Adam's Apple " I did want that badge... And another and another But... I'm really not in the mood to blog y'all. It's 18°F on a crisp cold night. And, No, I won't reconsider and post in the mornin'. Wanna post now. 1. I wanna know whether anyone remembers January 6th... hmmm... there may be many reasons why folks are keeping their mouths shut. They afraid da finguh may be pointed at dem. Trut' hurt don' it. Dey scaird. https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/2021-notebook-on-jan-6-chaos-inside-the-... 2. GNT won The Voice but folks are over the rainbow for this rendition. At age 57 she proved she still has the pipes. Today's trinket brought to you by Joy |
QueenNormaJean gettinPomsready is on a great train adventure. I like traveling by train. I can get up and walk. I meet interesting people. I find trains more comfortable for long trips than buses or planes. I responded to her entry "On The Road Again" : I immediately thought about hopping trains. I'm sure people still do that. Vultures clean up the messes. Frostbite? That sounds scary. 48 hours? Better by train than plane or bus. I'm sure I've eaten squirrel. I'm out of many loops, including drug users. I remember the drama of the homeless/street community. Meds, drugs, drinking... anything to either keep it together or dull the pain. For our generation the party was over decades ago. Many who used and abused died by age 30. Others managed to survive till 50. Few get this far. We're old. I'm fortunate to not be on any meds at the moment. There are a couple I probably should be on. I don't take care of myself. The middle-way seems to be cloud-shrouded. I'm either too engaged or too distant. I've hidden in my cave for nigh on two years now while the humanscape around me has become more paranoid and hostile. Yes, I probably should be on meds to smooth it out at a highly-functional level as I barely function at all. I could use some balance. But... I don't want the drama of drugs. Added: Mr. Fill I can only mildly disagree. [to his comment: "The general attitude in today's world is a pill for anything and anything for a pill"] It's been that way for a very long time. Each generation has struggled with their demons. Those who value money or power suffer the most. Those who value the heart and community have fewer issues; but, all are affected indirectly if not directly infected with viral materialism. The British mainlined opium back in the day. Today we have Santa Commercialism to thank and the silly notion that we were promised a pain-free existence. Pills? Just a way to die while avoiding life itself. I live between a distillary, casino/bar, ganja wannabe juke joint (if you have the $$). I don't hang out in those type of places and the cafes have suffered this past year. This town has gentrified and the Pandemic has accelerated the trend as people with extra cash have gobbled up properties and poverty is shoved out of hovels onto the streets. So... no... no drama. There are writers here who have quite a bit of drama in their lives; some handle it with self-medication of various sorts. At a distance I can handle the diluted death-of-it-all. After-all, being alive includes drama. I just feel dead at times. A cat and a cup of coffee would help. Today's trinket was fashioned by Princess Megan Rose 22 Years 5414 |
A response to Robert Waltz in "A Gift Beyond Price, Almost Free" about what comes 'free'. I... hadn't thought about this at great depth. After being homeless and penniless years ago I hoarded my money (perhaps my generosity too). I pay low rent. I never refuse food. I sit here watching Thai TV series (simultaneously watching 4 new ones out this past month) for 'free'. Even with low income and staying at home I have more access to 'things' (literally... like clothes and books) and connection to the world than I ever did growing up. I live second-hand in so many ways. A response to ForeverDreamer: I still hesitate to honestly write about what happened to me years ago. It would make me sort out what really happened and why. Let's just say that, at the core, I didn't take care of myself and everyone, especially me, suffered. We all come from a place and time. But we move on regardless, as we cannot stop time, nor keep the people and places we love from changing. Keep the good. Throw the rest away. Submitted
I'm watching a Thai TV series about second chances: Today's trinket was made by Shar ~ Happy 24th Birthday WdC: |
My response to "Invalid Post" I hate to mention 'deadlines'. Hate them but I've done the submitted-with-seconds-to-spare more than once and actually did well and even won. Otherwise, depression or any mood helps. Definitely daydreams. I should always have paper and pen within reach as computer, internet, et cetera isn't always available. Coffee isn't a factor for creativity. I'm more of an afternoon-evening person. Sunsets not dawns. Serenades not aubades. Can I write for "Daily Flash Fiction Challenge" ? The prompts: salt, wheel, bug. Where is the intersection? Maybe on the seashore? Is rain salty (no)? Salt spray. Dune buggy. Iron wheels rusting. Steel wheels or aluminum? Who/What's the bug bugging? Sea-bug (chiton) Where is the story? Your story must contain a setting, at least one (1) character, a conflict and a resolution. Sigh... I'm not in the 'mood'... just write? When in doubt search sea bugs and come up with a video of slipper lobsters. Earlier, my response to "Invalid Post" led to this 12 line poem: "Onions roasting in a toaster-oven [288]" . Food on my mind. Today's trinket made by Richard ~ Typing Left Handed: |
On December 9, 2003 I started to write a letter to a friend, a letter that needed to be written, but one I didn't dare send. It morphed to become a journal. I wrote every day for years, even when I travelled. At the beginning of this year (March 20th) on page 5174 (book 66) I wrote: Still love you ____... but that was a decision made long ago. The echo seems weak, but it's the only voice I have & the only words that matter — when you're old looking back. I only wrote 64 pages in the previous year (177). There had been seasons I wrote more. This year I have a May/June gap and another 8/8 till 12/1. I'm on page 5191. My blogs do not make up for it. Many entries are my thoughts and opinions; my journal is my heart. Robert Waltz has blogged every day for two years. My thoughts? I started my journal, knowing I could stop writing whenever I wanted. But after awhile it was my old-blue-green blankie that I didn't want to give up. It helped me get through Oklahoma, Colorado, Kansas, Costa Rica and Montana and was there for me on all my trips. I had so much built up inside that needed to be put on a blank-page where it couldn't be denied. Still, I held back. I still do. But after all this time there's still much more to share with a friend I talk to but haven't seen in 18 years and 7 months (as of tomorrow). My advice? You can always walk away. You owe no one anything. But... if it helps you express yourself than you may wish to continue. And if you miss a few days? It won't matter. As you know the 'pen' can always be picked up again. |
I'm supposed to blog... I'm at Butterfly Herbs for the first time in a month. I got my Fire-and-Ice (chocolate-cayenne) milkshake from Zack (think Judi Dench in the movie "Chocolat"). I picked up my mail. A merit badge pin from Sum1's In San Francisco and a card from WakeUpAndLive️~Happiness. Both delightful surprises. I haven't sent a card out in a month; so I should! But... not today. It's been maybe 5 weeks since I've crossed the river. I seldom go out. Today is a bit flaky (very light) but it is winter. We can go below Zero degrees Faherenheit here in December but nothing below 10 is forecast for the coming week. On the other hand it's 66°F in Maha Sarakham (Thailand) at 4 a.m. with high temps this week 83-92. I wish I were there (not for the heat but because it's the best time to visit; it gets brutal after February). Checked December 22 / January 19: $1,213 to BKK on American/JAL with horrible layovers and poor legroom but better (33") on the return trip (now showing $1,133!). For $1,856 on United/ANA the legroom on the long flights is excellent (34") but poor legroom coming back. American/European airlines skimp on legroom (personally, I consider that criminal). Well... need to check alternative dates into BKK and HKT (Phuket). Found out that I need to stay in a SHA+ hotel for one night... that's doable as there are places available for under $30/night. There was an hour of sunshine this morning. I can take snow; delight in it, if truth be told; but gloomy skies do not help my mental state. I'm watching three Thai TV series: Bad Buddy (Genres: Comedy, Romance, School, Youth; good chemistry and acting; 8.7 rating), Baker Boys (Genres: Food, Friendship, Thriller, Comedy, Romance; mixed reaction from me... at times it seems silly, 7.6 rating) and 55:15 Never Too Late (Genres: Drama, Sci-Fi, Fantasy, 8.1 rating) where the actors are paired up (age 15, age 55) in a very intriguing story line of 'second chances'. The sets of actors look like they are related (doubt it) as the resemblances are uncanny. Yes, I'm bored. I added on the Newsfeed: Busy for some, boring for others. This is the time of year I escape this gloomy dead town. In December 2019 I was in Costa Rica and then in Taiwan for February 2020. Haven't left town since... literally. Too many people assume that their personal story is like every else's. I see it here as people assume that I'm celebrating Santa-Commercialism or it's secondary holiday, formally know as Christmas. Maybe more people could ask before assuming? Beyond holidays... with no family locally and with covid-restrictions and closures (two out-of-business, one moved... just in my block) I live in an increasingly ghost-like place. Busy doesn't apply to me. Depression? Yep. Anxiety? More general than specific. When one does nothing there's nothing to talk about. Hard for me to connect with people with "First World Problems". |