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 |  My little nook of the corner. Includes health, daily news, and writing progress entries. |
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Welcome to my little area of the world I like to refer to as "The Nook." This journal will be replacing a great deal of my on-line journals, with the exception of my devotional book- which I will be building on in an attempt to create my own sell-able version. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** As a child, I dreamed of a perfect reading corner. The place in my mind was small but comfortable, with shelves of books on each wall. In one of the places I lived in growing up I was, at first, disgusted with a room my mother gave me to dwell in. I joked constantly and mercilessly about its small, cramped living space. However, the room soon came to be known, affectionately, as The Nook. Although I have not yet realized my small dream, I hope to see it come to fruition someday. In the mean time, this is where I will curl up in a good chair, all of my favorite books surrounding me, and write. Welcome, friend, to The Nook! Please check out my blog group, "Invalid Item"  by A Guest Visitor .** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| ~EL~'s Quote for the Day "By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity. Another man's, I mean." Mark Twain "A wretched soul, bruised with adversity, We bid be quiet when we hear it cry; But were we burdened with like weight of pain, As much or more we should ourselves complain." William Shakespeare ~EL~'s Day I've missed writing in this journal all year long. As much as I've been through, it would have been a great help to me. I fought and struggled through court, doing every thing I was supposed to do and more, but the state took my baby. I will never see my oldest born again. Let's just please leave it at that. I gave birth to another child February 24, a son. We called him AJ. But we're also fighting for him. As much as they were able to pull off in the other case, I don't have much faith, but my husband, lawyer and support system believe we can win this one. Please, God, let us! And may I be the mother you made me to be. Or else, give me the peace that passes understanding to let go. I'm disturbed by night terrors. Not every night, but often enough I have night mares concerning my children. I try not to think about them or let them upset me, but my mental condition is worse than ever. I'm bi-polar and suffer frequent highs and lows. This year, I became withdrawn and wasn't talking to any one. I didn't want to drag them down by the darkness of my own life. Convinced that I had not only lost Zachary (my first born), but AJ, my heart finally collapsed. It was time to concentrate on some thing else, I was emotionally at death's door. I no longer focus on either of them. I enjoy spending time with AJ, but that's all. I don't let myself focus on him. Instead, I turned towards rescue work and found someone who desperately needed my help. She's trying to run a rescue but, with all due respect, has no business sense at all. I've been working to try to get it at an even level and help her keep the rescue clean. Sundays, I gather a bunch of volunteers and we completely clean the facilities. It's a great help to her and only a small example of what I try to do for her and the rescue. She works from her home. My husband was needed, so he's also now a volunteer. She's so grateful for our help, she tries to thank us by giving us a lot; and, as much as she gives us, we give right back to her- although we try to be subtle about it. We give to the rescue not to get, but to give. She's even put us in her will as beneficiaries of the Cafe, to keep it running- but that's many years into the future I'm sure. As you can probably tell already, the rescue has given to me more than Christine ever could- it has breathed the life back into me that was very nearly completely sucked out of me this past year. I'll keep you updated so far as developments in the case are concerned, but in the mean time, I prefer to discuss my rescue work. That is why I foster and volunteer- to live. ~EL~'s Pet Corner Pictures Coming Soon! I'm a foster parent, so they'll be a lot to say here! We've created a special "Animal Arch" (or "Arch" for short). Right now, the piggies and cats live there. Soon, the turtles will too. Our dogs sleep in our room. First, let me introduce my Shelties: Sunny and Star. And before you say, as many have, "Should've named the other Cher," know this: Star is a long term guest. I don't know when or if my sister will ever be able to get her back considering her housing situation, but she's actually hers. We got the whole litter, a set of 3, after they were weaned. They're now 9 years old, and I would do almost any thing for any of them, I love them so much. In face, if we hadn't taken on Star, she might have been taken away from the family. Needless to say, we were quick to bring her in. I know the feeling, as I had to leave Sunny with Mom for a few years; he's been back with us for a few years now though, to my relief. We have two red eared sliders (turtles) inherited by my brother a couple years ago. We're trying to set up a bigger tank for them. Sliders can get quite big- I really haven't been able to come up with names for them. I just call them my water babies. We have two foster cats- an orange main coon called [url=http://www.petfinder.com/petdetail/17296065]Oliver[/url} and a mixed colored- mainly black and white- main coon mix called Hercules. We aim to adopt Hercules. We've had them for a couple of weeks. Oliver likes keeping to himself and doesn't like being held much. He prefers to choose if he wants to be handled rather than the other way around. Hercules is a goofball, always curious, forever getting himself into trouble. He jumps up and down on me when I'm sitting at the computer and is always making me laugh. Yesterday, we just picked up- or rather, received- two guinea pigs, Percival ("Percy") and Prince. They're very curious and funny little critters and, of course, are a bonded pair. Any one to adopt them will have to adopt them together. They live in a c&c cage- cube and chloroplast. Measuring in cubes, their cage is 2x3 and 2 stories. And generally that's how rabbits and guinea pigs ARE adopted any ways- together. The adopter felt bad having to return them, she loved them so much, but her husband ended up in the hospital, leaving them with a bill and one pay check. She told me that they like to wonder about outside their cage, but right now Hercules, as curious as he is, is being a trouble maker, sticking his paw in and scaring them half to death. When there wasn't a top, he hopped in and even went to the bottom level. We'll see what happens. I hope they get to feeling comfortable here or they're adopted soon. ~EL~'s Health Sleep. All day. I've been EXHAUSTED. 1 pt Nutrition. Breakfast~ 1 bowl cheerios Lupper~ 1 bowl spaghetti [b]Snacks[/b] 3 slices bread, ketchup, 3 slices cheese 1 pt Healthy Choice. drank a lot of chocolate milk Exercise. Water. Positive Attitude. Spiritual Renewal. 1 pt Family. 1 pt Sunshine/Fresh Air. Journal. 1 pt Total~ 5 pts ~EL's Writing~ ~Daily Writing Exercises~ Write. (2 pts/hr) 1 pt, short, quick contest (6 words) Read. (2 pts) 1 pt- working through my mail Journal. (1 point) 1 pt Total~ 3 pts |
I'm still waiting on the computer being fixed, so I haven't been able to get on in a while. Sorry.  Also, I'm not really prego. That was totally an April Fool's joke.  |
| My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for a couple of months, and we just got the news today- we're pregnant! When I looked at the scale I saw that I am 243~ oh dear! I'm in for the long haul. Should have checked that first. Oh well. Guess I'll have to maintain it the best I can and loose, loose, loose after the baby's born, but.... ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| Sorry, so sorry, it's taking so long to get back to every one, but I'm still on hiatus as we STILL do not have a computer. A friend of mine and I are ready to put money on the table to have that computer fixed once and for all. I can only hope and pray SOMETHING happens and FAST! The St Patty's Day Scramble will still happen; albeit, I may rename it after our lucky leprechaun Miss Siofra!  Hope to see you all really soon! |
| Our power cord dies. That sums up why I haven't been on lately. The "Invalid Item" will be postponed until further notice. My apologies to every one who has been looking forward to it. It will NOT be cancelled, just delayed. It is most unfortunate that this had to happen. My husband should be purchasing a cord today and it should be in by the end of next week. Again, my deepest apologies for the delay. Emily  |
| ~EL~'s Quote for the Day "People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one." ~Leo J Burke~ "There is nothing like a newborn baby to renew your spirit - and to buttress your resolve to make the world a better place." ~Virginia Kelley~ ~EL~'s Day It's funny how, in one evening, you can go from being excited about something to feeling discouraged. This entry started out being about how excited I am that my hubby and I have been thinking about getting pregnant, but that went down the toilet when I talked to my girls. My step mom was brutal and my girl friend and Mom were painfully honest. Neither of the latter meant to hurt me, they were tryinig to help, but I ended the calls feeling really discouraged. So, what I'm going to do is set some goals and see if I can meet them. Please comment if you have any ideas about what you think would constitute someone who makes a good home maker and wife. Home- I would love to have more room before we have another child. Although we could make do with what room we have, it'd be nice not to be so cramped. Although I can't do any thing to get a new home, since I don't work, I can be more supportive of my husband and work with him to make the best decisions we possibly can make for our family. Wisdom would take us a long way financially! Besides having a bigger house, I'd like to not be living in Muskegon where all eyes are on us, where, no matter who you are, all eyes are just waiting for you to fail. When you're a parent, you can't trust any one. No matter who you are, someone will find fault- you can never do any thing well enough. Cleanliness- I don't completely neglect the chores, but I don't do them every day either. I want to set aside an hour of every day; I'd also like to establish a house rule that each family member picks up after him/herself. Once some ground work has been laid, it shouldn't take much to keep the house clean, and once it's cleaned on a regular basis it'll be hard to let it go. Potty Training- Zach is half trained. When he doesn't have any thing on his lower half (such as when we're letting him air out), he is pretty good about going to the potty when he needs to go. However, he's normally dressed and can't figure out he still has to go in the toilet. Also, I can't seem to figure out how to teach him where poop goes. I've been feeling really desperate about this and will need to seek out help. Personal Health- My family has a history of health problems caused by obesity. I'm 220 (or more) and would like to cut my weight down to at least 180 before I give birth. I NEVER want to be more than 220. According to my father, he lost a lot of weight by not eating after 3. I need to learn to do that myself. I should also start taking my dog for walks. I hate this snow, I hope it flees soon. Walking will be made much easier by the dissapearance of all this white stuff. Transportation- I would like to have a car to drive before I give birth. It sure does make things a lot easier, and I don't mean just any car either. Nate and I have had two nice cars- I'd like to get another. Education- I want to make sure that we are able to afford sending Zach to school. His father and I have agreed never to send our children to public with charter as the last resort. We really want to send him to a good SDA school. Another reason we'll need transportation- there are no schools in the area. This is my list- for now. I may be adding more in the future, and most probably will be, but this is it for now. Of course when you meet goals, there are more to be made. So this is no "you have to have it done before you can have a baby" list, and I refuse to make any such list, but this is a list to work towards any ways. Then we'll just go with the flow. I don't think I will have any more depot shots. Having a baby is an exciting concept, if you don't let the negative into your mind at all. (Too late for me tonight! ) However, I recognize and acknowledge that having a baby is also a big responsibility, a responsibility I am no stranger too. So, although my enthusiasm has been dampened tonight, I at least have some thoughts for the future. |
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Posted by Erin J. Roberts   I have chosen to support an angel through http://soldiersangels.org/ I was referred to this site by my friend Shanachie  during scroll yesterday. While I was still shopping in their online store, I received my name and address. I'm eagerly looking forward to sending him care packages! |
| ~EL~'s Quote for the Day "Forget your enemies. It's your friends you frustrate that cause all the problems." Borrowed from quotationspage.com ~EL~'s Day Well, at this point, it's the other way around! I won't say any names, but this person has a shop and just doesn't know how to run one properly! Oooooffff!! Stay on top of your game or get your customers pissed off! To my faithful readers, sorry I haven't been around lately. I got backed up over the holidays and have been trying to get caught back up. I got to see my family for Christmas~ Mom's a couple days after Christmas, on the 27th, and Dad, Step-Mom, and all 5 of the other kids (Step Mom has 2, Dad has the other 4 of us). The Christmas party with my Dad lasted too short a time. I miss everyone and would like to spend more time with them. While I've been working on catching up, I'm involved with Secret Pals, an organization that hooks you up with someone- you don't know who until the end of the month, and they shower you with love and affection. There are lots of different treats: sigs, raffle tickets, Week of Cheer, etc. Anyways, one of the more recent treats I received was an Awardicon- namely, a plaque! Now, this is my first plaque ever and boy, was I excited when I got it! I danced up and down in excitement. Happy times! Check it out:
Cool ain't it? Today I'm  . First, I woke up dizzy- I was spinning even before my eyes opened! I took a vitamin hoping that it was something I'm missing in my diet and the vitamin would help me through it, but then I threw it back up. My stomach is still a bit upset from that. So today I'm just taking it easy.From now on, I'm going to try to get caught back up with my groups and blog. I'll see ya'll around, peeps! ~EL~ |
| ~EL~'s Quote for the Day "Any transition serious enough to alter your definition of self will require not just small adjustments in your way of living and thinking but a full-on metamorphosis." ~Martha Beck "There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered," ~Nelson Mandela "Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me." ~Carol Burnette~ Borrowed from quotationspage.com ~EL~'s Day I had a great day today. We went to spend some time with my mother's side of the family- a family that happens to mean a great deal to me. Although they are divorced (12 years, seperated for 2 before that), Dad has remarried, and Mom is seeing someone else, Dad actually came to the Christmas party. It was disturbing when I found out, and I was concerned about today, but it all worked out all right. No mention of it was even said after I gave Mom the heads up. Well, actually I had a great day until... I found out that the planned tearing down of my grandparents' house is practically completed. I didn't get my chance to walk through it one last time. When I heard that, my heart felt like it had been torn out, torn up, and spit and trampled on. My aunt asked, with only the kindest of thoughts if I wanted to see the pictures, but I was unable to speak. Mercifully, my hubby spoke for me, saying exactly what I could not, "I think she'd rather remember it as it was." I most definately would. I need to find some gas money and a ride, visit the church I used to attend, see a friend, and visit my grandparents' site and say good-bye to the place that was my home... possibly for good. I feel like a piece of my history has been erased, a part torn from me that I can never go back to. The land is my uncle's, and I know he had to do some thing with it, it couldn't stay that way forever, but at the same time, I lost the home where I spent most of my growing up years.  Change is not easy, but some times it must be made. This evening I found Grandma's scale, my Aunt Paula claimed it. When I jumped on, it said I was an unbelievable 240. When I asked Aunt Paula she said that it was actually a few pounds on the light side, or under. So I asked her where she works... she said a Dr's office! I actually way about 245. I've had enough. I have to get serious about loosing weight! |
| ~EL~'s Quote for the Day "I am still determined to be cheerful and happy, in whatever situation I may be; for I have also learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends upon our dispositions, and not upon our circumstances." ~Martha Washington "If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance." ~George Bernard Shaw Borrowed from quotationspage.com ~EL~'s Day I'm so angry right now I could spit! My Mother In Law is so immature. We got mail today. One card addressed to... Hubby and Son. Oh, no, not me. I was intentionally and pointedly left out! Now, my MIL lives 5 minutes down the road. She wasted a stamp to send them a card she had to know she would get back for her rude, ill tempered behavior?! In case you want to know, no, I'm not in the wrong. If any thing, I've tried to begin forging a good relationship with my in-laws. This whole thing started 2 years ago. You know how sometimes, when you live with someone else, things might be seen that you would otherwise not let others see? Well, it happened three times, almost four. The first was just because I "knocked like (his) wife." The other three were mistakes that I made, forgeting that he did laundry on Sundays. At any rate, I was embarrassed that it happened three times, and was shocked the last time. When I'm in shock, I'm one that stops being able to move. So now my in-laws think I hit on him. Eeeww! I'd as soon as hit on my own father. When she offered to have me stay with them until I could get set up locally, and even before that, I looked at them as my own family. After all, by then their son and I already knew we were going to get married. Why, in God's name, would I hit on my own father let alone my father-in-law?! My mother-in-law is being so childish! First, she tried to have the police try to throw me out (2 years ago) and, when she couldn't legally do that, she called Child Protective Services on me. Ever since, she has done her best to make my life a living hell. She even tried to prevent our wedding. Thankfully, church members that she sent letters to ignored her and only treated me with respect. Was I ever grateful for that! All I want from her is a relationship. It will probably never be the best relationship, but just acting like an adult and including me with my own family- whether or not she likes me- would be a blessing and a relief! I would even be willing to put this away without looking back if she would be willing to try to make this work... honestly and sincerely! Mom thinks I'm crazy for even wanting that. Does any one have even a half-way decent relationship with their in-laws? P.S. I feel sorry for my hubby who knows his mother is a real b****. He agrees with me and told me, without being asked, that he's going to give her the card back and tell her to send it to all of us or none of us next time. Whenever someone threatens my motherhood I get very defensive- and she left my son's name on it and not mine.  What must it be like to want your mother to be part of your family life but have her behave so childishly that you can't allow it? Yet he assures me that, with or without us, he would've had this problem with his mother eventually. I'm soooo sorry for him! |
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