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 |  blog of a person who seems to be invisible... |
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ok.. so I'm taking a next step in my life. I'm improving on myself. I'm going down this path i am on, thanks to God. I now attend a church regularly, and I like its small confines in a church building i attended nearly 40 years ago. To me it is surreal. Do i know whats ahead, or even where I am going? no, not at all. to be honest it scares me, but I need to step out of my fear and take charge of my life, and live it the way I and God want me to be. where ever this path goes, I'm sticking it out to the end. I feel it is a testament to who I am. I am learning more and more everyday about myself. and improving, also trying to make amends for past mistakes. But one can only make amends for mistakes where there was mistakes to begin with, if people don't want to listen then that is their fault, and their loss. I wont go where im not wanted and I know I am a good man, if you don't.. well that's too bad so sad for you... |
| Well Christmas is over again, for another year. I love the holiday. It is my favorite one of them all, not for the gifts, but for the magic, there is nothing like Christmas magic. As the decorations start coming down, and life returns to normal, I feel sad, not that its over, b ut the next one is so far away. I hope your Christmas was filled with as much magic as mine was. |
| well Its Christmas time again... and the final days prior to it as well. Now Christmas is my favorite time of year. All the lights and decorations, and the good will towards everyone. What I dislike is that people have lost the meaning of Christmas completely... Children are told the story of jolly old St. nick, or Santa Claus if you like, and that there is a meaning for Christmas, which as they get older they forget. A good example of this is the movie polar express, the whole idea, if you watch it, really watch it for the meanings, is that you can never forget the meaning of Christmas, peace, love ,and joy to every person on Earth. You see as the children get older and begin to forget, the train comes for them, and brings them up to meet Santa, at least those who get on the train will, those who don't stop hearing the sleigh bell ring for them, those that do never have the bell stop ringing for them. at least watching it made me smile a bit.... maybe this will last.... by the way, I still hear the bell ring. |
| Oh boy! what could I say about today, the answer is simple... Nothing that I could post here... Management is about useless and has their own agenda.... maybe its a good idea im not one of them, id destroy this company... to say ive had a bad day is a couple of steps up from what it really was... tried to write abit today... mind is too active, too unsettled for that... |
| I really need a better job... the one I have is a dead end job. it pays but not well but it still pays. Am looking for either a part time job or a replacement job. I might have a job offer that pays much less than what I am earning now. Not sure whether or not I want to make that kind of a commitment to any company unless they could match what I want. issues,issues,issues. there are always issues. life isn't simple no more. I guess I'll figure it out.... |
| I just got finished unloading a rail car filled with brown river gravel, it looks pretty but it is a little bit big. It was a pain, between the trucks coming in and the locomotive being a pile of junk , its no wonder it took us so long to empty it, on the positive side it did make the day go by faster so it isn't all that bad.... let's see what tomorrow brings |
| I am still feeling nothing.. not happiness nor sadness. I just am. Some personal things going on that Imstill processing. Not really sure of what Im going to do. I wish life was like it was when I was younger, things 'seemed' easier than they are now, I know they really weren't but the perception of it was. No but I had to go and grow up. To tell you the truth, I haven't always been the nicest of person, and now I find the person I hurt the most was me. But like I said, Im not feeling happiness, nor sadness. |
| I am a little disappointed.. the launch I have waited for for several months did not launch... Im glad I didn't take a day off for this... kind of wish I did, it would have given me more time to work with Ariel, my character and his story.... will do that tonight.. |
wow another day comes to an end... I have worked, in my head, on my story character and worked out a few things... need to sit down alone and just write...  |
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I don't think I've ever drank so much water in my whole life. Make sure you're staying hydrated and safe out there!
