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You have entered my blog. I take no responsibilty for your reaction. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** MY NEW CAR....WELL IF I HAD THE MONEY TO BUY ONE!!! Thanks Thea!!!! ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| OK, I honestly did not think this day would come....... I have been slapped by some unknown power. Not in the face where a respectfull person would stand toe to toe and explain their actions, but in the back of the head with no explination. Perhaps I should explain. I little while back, I noticed some writers here that had two ports, some as a twin of sorts, others just separate for different type of writing. This intrigued me. I thought something like this might work for me. I felt that an alter ego of sorts would allow me to explore new avenues and experience a different side of my own writing. Also I was getting very few reviews since turning yellow.So I created an account. I did some reviewing to earn some GP's and wrote a couple pieces. I recieved some good feedback and felt this would work for me. Now I didn't do anything shady like a fake name or information. No, I used all my real information. I felt I was not doing anything I shouldn't. Well, apperantly someone felt I was doing something wrong as they suddenly deleted my account. Now I understand that they have their views here and it is their place, but I am an honest and respectful person. I give respect and expect it in return. If I do something wrong (though I contend I haven't), then look me square in the eye and tell me. Give me my punishment and I will take it like a man. Instead, my account is deleted, my GP's stolen and my writing vanished. A respectfull person would have contacted me, perhaps asked for an explination of my actions and at least given me the oppourtunity to save my writing, personal responses and allow me to take my GP's. My problem here is not what they did, but how they did it. Some anonymous hand slapped me when I wasn't looking, deleted my personal writing and then shut the door............what kind of person does this? Are they so full of their power that they don't feel the need to explain their actions? You see, I was brought up to respect people and they only lose that respect by their own actions.....this person lost my respect and quite possibably my future business. I feel slighted and am not sure I want to continue in this type of society. I do not expect a response from them, but thought I would at least vent my frustrations and explain my demise.............. |
| It seems the toughest emotion is doubt! That's right, much worse than fear or hate. Our lives are filled with doubt. Everything thing we do has a degree of doubt that eats away at our drive until we either overcome it or give in to in. We tend to think our problems are far greater than any one else's. One reason is because of our doubt. We question our commitment. Our brain tries to convince us we can not do it. We actually try to sabotage our own course. We forget that it is the journey that counts. Mother teresa said; "God doesn't require us to succeed, he only requires that you try." It makes sense when you think that way. Everything we do in live is governed by how hard we try. We think we are the only ones that doubt ourselves. We think our doubt about ourselves and our journey is somehow greater.....Well Mother teresa died in 2001, they found some of her letters. As great as she was and with all the good she did, she was riddled with doubt. You see doubt is a demon..... Mother Teresa actually doubted her faith and her journey, but she never quit trying. She wrote; "I am told God lives within me and yet the reality of darkness and coldness and emptiness is so great that nothing touches my soul" You see, your journey in life has nothing to do with your beliefs in God. It doesn't matter what you belief. Even an Athiest actually has a belief....What it boils down to is believe in yourself. Do the things you feel deep inside are right. Mother Teresa kept working for the things she believed were right even though she questioned her faith in God. That is why I respect her so much. Even with all the doubt, which is now documented in her letters, She kept trying, she did not give up.....Isn't that life? Isn't that how whe should govern our own lives? Don't put the person next to you down because their beliefs are different. As long as they are traveling the same road as their heart commands then their beliefs are right (for them). It does not matter what you think so much as what you do. We all question our motives, our strength, our commitment, our direction, and that is OK, as long as we keep moving, keep trying. That is what Mother Teresa taught us; We are only required to try...............I understand now..........Do you? |
| What is up with that? I usually don't blog on Saturday, but I had to work today and well I have a couple extra minutes........It is strange to come on and there is no Bugzy....she is a cab driver today...yup, that's right, carting people all around from place to place. What a way to spend a weekend day...I feel bad for her..sure hope she doesn't have car trouble...that would surely mess things up! My wife is all worried, we hired a new office gal, she drove in in a Vette...That's right a vette! Damn she either doesn't need the job...or really needs the job! So my wife knows I dream of an old vette and somehow relates that to mean I want the person driving the vette! Where do women get these ideas? Now this girl is close to my age (within 10 years) and not bad looking.... though she is quite skinny....you know the type of skinny that has very little shape? So, My head didn't spin too much because I like some curves ........ I am getting side tracked...... So why would I want the girl? If I had her, I still wouldn't have a vette.....yeah I could drive hers but that is not like having your own. Surel I wouldn't give up everyhting I have to be with her to get the vette....Damn, if I could afford a split up, then I could buy my own vette......women just don't get it sometimes..........No, I am much more selfish than that..I want what I have now,,,,,and A vette. Not just any vette....the one in the picture above....Yeah that one. Sweet T was going to get me one, but I think she backed out.....or maybe she is waiting for my birthday...yeah that's it my birthday.................. If only I had my vette. Then surely my life would be set. I would do many things I regret because of the power and speed of my vette. I had a promise from Thea but only got the picture here Then thought it was up to Sweet T But she broke her promise to me. My wife thinks I would leave to get it but I wasn't excited one bit about giving up all I have so far to drive someone else's car. No, I need one of my own so until that day, leave me alone allow me to complain and groan like a dog without a bone. |
| This is crazy! One of the largest fish farms in the world is in th Mohave desert. They harvest thousands of pounds of fish a day. The water comes from deep artesian wells and is pumped to the site. The Striped Bass are grown in large pools holding as many as 28,000 fish each. Daily they pull large amounts of young fish out (1000-1600) to inoculate them. Yeah apparently these fish could get strep (some what like strep throat in humans) So, they pull out thousands of them with nets and truck them to a fish lab where they dunk them in some type of chemical that puts the fish to sleep. Once they are a sleep, one by one, the lab tech gives them a vaccination shot. then they are returned to their large containment pools. Now a large amount of fish like this would normally contaminate these small pools as it is not running water. So they constantly pump the dirty water out and pump it into other large pools filled with Carp and a couple other type of poo eating fish. Yes that is right, they use other fish to clean the water environment of the bass. So these poo eating fish clean the water and it is then filtered some more and recycled back for the Bass. Once the poo eating Carp are matured, they are harvested and sold to fish markets. The Bass are also harvested and sold to market. It is odd though to think that us humans eat the fish that eat fish poo........ It is amazing how nature works....the circle of life ....we survive because something else dies......It wouldn't work any other way...... |
| I want a man room! Yeah that's what I said......my brother inlaw does carpentry work and he just finished building a huge fancy barn. In this barn there are hay chutes that allow the owner to just go up stairs and drop the hay through a chute to each stall for the horses. This barn is large and has 8 horse stalls. Well besides all this great barn stuff, it has a MAN room. Ok, who needs a room just for a guy to call his own? We all do, silly!!! A man room is great........No fancy paint on the walls..... Knotty pine of course......the key is -----no maintence....right, the last thing you want to do in a man room is clean......so no damn carpet...just a wood floor that you can clean up with a shop vac. So, there is a huge big screen TV, 8 theater chairs mounted on an incline (so everyone can see good, of course) Between each chair is a table for the food and the arm rest has a pocket for the beer bottle (or can, if you prefer). There are no kids rooms or any rooms for that matter that require quiet. No Sir! You can hoot and hollor all you want. A huge fridge and freezer for the beer and ice. A large bar in the back with swivel bar stools. Well some guys just can't watch a game unless they have one elbow on the bar. If you get a little excited and knock over your bowl of cheese puffs, well no big deal, that is what the shop vac is for. There are lit beer signs on the wall. speakers mounted in every corner, A pool table, a dart board and of course a couple of cots.....hey some guys just never quite make it home and besides, would you want one of these guys driving. Now girls are allowed, as long as they don't complain, know the name of at least 6 different teams (any sport) and can recite at least 4 swear words without saying "I'm sorry" or "excuse me" Oh and a burp or fart now and then wouldn't hurt! Yeah.....A sports bar at home.......boy my kids would love it too! I really want a man room.........This is my new prodject....Christ, my wife has 11 rooms.....don't you think I could have at least one? OK, I have to say this.......The Rangers (last place team) beat Baltimore last night 30 to 3......Say what!!! Yeah, 30 to 3.....their worst batter hitting 195, got five hits.........It is like the twilite zone.....I am sure that Baltimore just didn't open their city up this morning.......they will probably stay in bed until tomorrow......I would!!!! |
| It is another morning of my life. 4:15 am, at work, shouldn't I be home sleeping? I feel that things have changed so much. I remember thinking that by the time I reached 50, I would be able to take it easy and enjoy my life. So why am I here talking to you? Why are you interested in what I write? I find that I keep asking all these questions, but don't seem to answer them. Shouldn't I write an answer blog every other day? That way I can answer the questions and move on to something else. I really do not like some changes. I want things to settle in and be comfortable. I had a family party last weekend. When my kids were young we would have a lot of get togethers. All my brothers and sister would show up with all their kids. We would play all kinds of games. Baseball, kickball,football,volleyball...etc. Anyway, all the parents would join in and we would play.........well this weekend, I am playing volleyball. I am up front jumping high and spiking the ball. I stuffed two of my boys Nate and kevin and got our team a point. The watchers started laughing and cheering. Well, Nate is 25 and Kev is 23 so they are not what you call little. I stood there and suddenly noticed something. All the "grownups" were watching the game. None of my brothers or my brother in law were playing. They were watchers now and my kids were the grown ups and now the little kids playing were the next generation. I was the only player over 33 years old. When did everyone get too old to play? What was wrong with me? I guess I should be sitting with the old people watching the game? Physically, I had no problem being in the game. Why didn't my brothers want to be playing? We always had so much fun. It is not like we were playing anything serious. We actually we not even keeping score and the rules were, "there are no rules" So it was just plain fun. Anyone at any level could join in and we careful to make sure the little ones got to hit the ball. So not really competitive. I want to know, when did everything change? I started paying attention.......a bunch of us jumped in to the pool then we were playing woofle ball. I pitched the the kids. I am very good at putting the ball were their swing is, so they hit real well. They like that. Again I was alone with my kids and my families kids and their kids. The closest one to my age was my brothers son (33) and my daughter (28). The rest were younger, reaching all the way down to 6 years old......I was the old guy....when did this happen? Why didn't the people my age want to play? Something feels wrong. Life is changing and I am lagging behind I guess. Maybe, I didn't even play that well and everyone was laughing at me being out there. I didn't feel out of place though. I felt like part of the group. Perhaps I just didn't see that I shouldn't be there. Do you think the kids went home saying, "Why was that old guy out there messing up our game? Why didn't he let us play like the other old people did?" I think the world has moved on and left me suspended in time. My brain apperantly thinks it can continue to do these things. Does my body agree? Am I foolish for wanting to do these things? Or are my peers just letting life and age hold them back? On Monday, my daughter and I went for a bike ride. Something we used to do a lot and we thought we would get a ride in before she went back to Arizona. Well, we had a great time. It was a good workout and I had no trouble keeping pace. She didn't seem to feel I was too old to ride with her. My daughter went back yesterday. I am going to miss her..........................I already do....... |
| I think I realized this weekend, that there is more than one reality. That's right, the brain can create what ever it wants......you can have numerous separate lives. I have many.......One, at work of course.... the work me is quite a dub. I care about my job and I view the company as if it was my responsibilty to keep it level. I am not much fun......though we do have our moments. The home me is split.....I have the Dad me...who by the way is really cool! I spent a lot of time with him this weekend.. All the kids were home especially My daughter form Arizona... I played volley ball with the kids and went for a bike ride with my daughter.... I spent a couple hours driving with one of my sons.... We drank some brewski, ate some great food (mostly horrible fattning stuff) played ball, swam in the pool, kick ball, had a nice fire once the darkness woke up.....I was just busltling around and basking in the enjoyment of our children and my whole family (they all showed up for the graduation party) Yeah, the party was for two of my boys that graduated college this year.. One afternoon the husband me showed up and .........well I shouldn't describe that right now I guess.....but I can assure you he was ......well he was!~ I did have to change into the Son me for a period of time and will have to visit him a bit today...Ok that did bring me down a bit ......Right now, well the writer me is enjoying my time in bloggsville....I missed t this weekend........but.... I do have to change into worker me as I took yesterday off and well.....too much to do ttoday as I have to leave early to take my daughter to the airport......... I have been experiencing some odd emotions this weekend........I think I want to be able to slow my life down...it seems to be traveling so fast! How do I do that? I must think about it I guess......anyway....sorry about the crappy blog......blogski just didn't show up today.....he sent me and .......OH, this is the confused me......and....well you got riped off!!!! |
| I read someone's blog yesterday and they mentioned that love was not a feeling.....What? Hold the phone here........not a feeling? I totally disagree.. Love is the boss of feelings.....Yeah the big one.....If I could only have one feeling, it is the one I would pick.............. Love is something I can hardly describe....it is so deep in us that we sometimes do not understand it......We confuse it with other things; want, need, hate, like.....We talk about it so much, that we forget what it really is..... I think I know why, because some people don't have it... Yeah, they don't know....because if they had it, they would never say it wasn't a feeling...... You can love someone but not like them very much....two totally different things.....Like my Mother......I love her...but ...well that's a story for another day.... You can be mad, glad,sad, disappointed or even fed up with someone you love....but it doesn't change how you feel inside. I have many loves in my life....you see love is unconditional.....a person has no choice in the matter.......If it is real love, you can't change it nor control it.....that is why a person can stay in a bad relationship.......people say, "how can she stay with that guy? Look at the way he treats her" You see, I know when I love someone because I can't give up on them or turn my back on them........even when mad for some reason, I still care......if that is not a feeling, well what is? No, Love is surely the ultimate feeling................I am man enough to admit it...........What do you think? I mean if someone offered you the chance to be guaranteed the ultimate thing in life, wouldn't you have to pick love? Oh, and (I won't say who) but bugzy.........that young boy doesn't know what love is, He is just purely intrigued and infatuated with you.......what did you expect? who wouldn't be? You don't marry, you teach...HEHEHEHE............Did I say that? |
| When I came into work this morning, I knew this day was going to be different....Why you ask?.....well as I walk up to the building every morning (well every morning for about the last two years or so) The light pointing toward the door shuts off..... That's right the night sensing light shuts off when I walk up to the door....don't know why but it always does.........well except for this morning.....it stayed on........that was so eerie!!!......Is it a sign? I suddenly heard that special music they play when something is about to happen .........I slowly insert the key....struggling just a bit to get it to turn......the noise of the tumblers spinning echos through the still air....the volume of the music intesifies............Then............I open the door and walk in.... OOOOH.................So I turn on the light, unlock the office, clear the phone and turn on the computer............Now I am writing this....what a boring movie...HUH???? What happened? did they forget the horror scene? Or..........maybe they are just prolonging the suspense....Yeah, that must be it.........stay tuned.....I'll be back!!!!!!! Arnoldski |
| OK............I once said I would not get sucked into this debate......I refused to let the crazies affect me............I guess it is like saying I will never eat another donut........Damn, they look so good and there is a dozen sitting on the table in the lunch room every morning....I hear them whispering to me...........COME GET ME!! I'M COVERED IN SWEET WHITE POWDER AND ALL CHOCOLATELY UNDERNEATH!!!!! YOU NEED ME.....YOU WANT ME..... Ok, that's enough....yes I am strange, but you already knew that...didn't you? So here it is.......Aheeem......I can't believe I am writing this.......Global Warming............there I said it! Here is the thing, I agree that our planet is changing and evolving.....it has to, that is what nature is....yes we play a part in that but we do not and cannot control it.....yes we can watch what we do to our atmosphere and our rivers, but we will not stop evolution. So, here is my problem, scientist said that in the last 1000 years, 1998 was the hottest on record. They said that our planet is on a trend of more freak weather and storms..........they have called this change global warming and claim it is all our fault and if we don't do something RIGHT NOW, then the world is done for. It was reported this morning that the records were cited wrong....that is right the information they used to convince us was wrong.....So come to find out, out of the last 10 warmest years in the last 100 years, 4 of them were in the 1930's and the hottest ever was 1934 not 1998.One was in 1951 and the other 5 were in the last 10 years, 1998 being the second hottest. As far as the increase of devastating freak storms: In the last 5 years, 2003 was 15, 2004 was 13, 2005 was 28, 2006 was 10 and so far this year which is half over, 3. My point is here that when looking at the real data, it really only shows us that the world fluctuates and has no readable pattern. Now if that is true and data does not lie, then Global Warning is merley a means of producing money for someone....perhaps government grants for scientist's research? How can a scientist, who's whole life depends on the facts, get these facts wrong? Hmnn....do I hear private agenda? This thing about the warmest year on record should hit the news today, how much do you want to bet that it will not be carried by many stations? This is big news as it shoots holes in most of the theories out there........ If you don't hear it in the news, look it up and see if I am right......Then you decide..........Yes the world is changing.....yes we can try do do the best we can to "not" ruin it, but we can't control it.....it has always changed and it always will....we are the ones that have to adapt or like the dinosaur's......become extinct...at least then we could become more oil............OK, start throwing the tomatoes!!!!.......Ski (www.climateaudit.org) |
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But, honestly, I take the good with the bad, even when it is really bad. Emotions are a huge, huge part of who we are and sometimes holding them back doesn't allow us to truly experience life.
I don't really know what it takes to be a writer but heck, I like to do it and it seems the more I write the more I like what I write. That, I think is the most important thing about being a writer. 