Here We Go Again

For a short duration I had the distinct honor of being a Police Dispatcher for a small city in Southern Illinois named, Lincoln Logged Out Illinois. Locals would refer to their home town simply as, “Logged Out.” Folklore has it that trees from this area was used to make Lincoln’s log cabin. The city is located off a major interstate which is ideal to bring in visitors year round to eat and shop the local stores.

By the time I started there a towing company had been awarded the city contract for towing illegally parked vehicles and outstanding parking fines. The name of this company was, “I Toad Ja.” They had a large green toad on the sides of their tow trucks. I thought it was a catchy name for a company. One that would for sure bring some laughs.

People didn’t get their vehicles towed very often because of parking violations but occasionally it would happen. Most of the towing business was from vehicle accidents, breakdowns, being stuck in the snow or off in a ditch. Inevitably someone from out of town would show up at the police station wanting to know who towed their vehicle and where they could pick it up after they paid their fines at the local courthouse.

As dispatcher I had the dubious honor of telling them. When they asked me I would politely tell them name of the towing company, “l Toad Ja.” They would look all confused and ask me three or four more times. I would just keep repeating the company name, “I Toad Ja.”

Eventually I got called into the Police Chief’s office. Our Chief was bald headed and a serious no nonsense kind of guy. I mean he never smiled and looked like he was in a bad mood all the time. You know kind of like he had a tooth ache from morning till night.

He wanted to know why he keeps getting complaints about me over people trying to pick up their cars? Of course he would never ask me nicely but while asking he would pick up papers on his desk and slam them back down on his desk. As if to show he meant business. I would reply, “Chief what do you want me to do? All I do is tell them the name of the towing company, “I Toad Ja.”

He just give me this cold dark stare. I then made a suggestion. “Chief, talk to the owner and get him to change the name of his towing company to something less confusing.” After some thought he agreed that may be the best way forward. Eventually the towing company changed their name to, “Here We Go Again.”

The owner must have loved those giant toads on the side of his trucks because he left them there. Only the wording was changed. On top of the giant toads was, “Here We Go Again,” and underneath was, “We’ll Hop On It.” When the Patrol Officers found out they couldn’t wait to tell me. My reaction was you gotta be kidding me. They would just bust out laughing.

I thought Dear God, there’s a future train wreck ahead. Sure enough here come a driver wanting to know who towed their vehicle? I had to tell them. I just say, “Here We Go Again.” Just as before this charade would go on three of four more times.

I’d try to explain to people that was the name of the towing company. But they were already mad when they came looking for their vehicle. It wouldn’t matter what I said all they heard was, “Here We Go Again.”

Back in the Chief’s office again. This time he slammed the door hard. Before he said anything I said, “What do you want me to do? All I did is tell them the name of the towing company. “ As I raised my hands towards heaven and said, “Hear We Go Again!”

That my friend is why I’m no longer a Police Dispatcher cause I logged out of Lincoln Logged Out Illinois. The last words I heard the Police Chief say was, “I Toad Ja.” If you ever find yourself in Lincoln Logged Out Illinois without your vehicle. Pay your parking fine and go look for the towing company that has a large toad on the side of their tow trucks. Tell ‘em I toad ja.