I need someone please

I'm having thoughts, but though they're not for the first time faced,
I start to cry.
It feels so good, the salty taste,
Tears that roll down onto the bed where I lie,
The relief that comes with each sob,
Except the thoughts.
I get up, dizzy, and drop.
What can I do except sit there and feel the forming knots?

But a warm hand lands on my head,
Patting gently and easing the dread.
Now I sit here not in pain,
But in the comfort I meet again,
'Cause I know this hand,
So I sigh and up I stand.

My right arm goes out,
And the mirror reveals
It comes back around
And cups my left cheek.
I see it clear, no distortion,
But that person was so sweet...
But there was no other person,
I can feel my hand wet
And my shaking worsen.
As that caress become less controlled,
What a fool I was to think someone
Would bring me warmth when it's cold.