Happy

I live to make others laugh
For i cannot myself laugh
I want my friends and family to be happy
Because it feels like i cant be happy
I love seeing their smiling faces and red checks
But when looking at myself i can only mimic

There's only one person i wish i could make laugh
Not my decreased father as much as i wish for
No i myself cannot make me laugh
I myself cannot make me happy
I can try and try
Whether by surrounding myself with loved ones
Or scrolling endlessly online seeing everyone else
But it seems like nothing can truly make me say

I'm happy