Tiger-striped flannel and matching ball cap,
if slid askew, would remind living family
of the old man --
sitting on the tailgate of his blue Ford,
sheltered amid flocked customers
and other vegetable growers. Cracking wise
in the corner parking lot of the local farmer’s market,
his hat true -- angled in the locked position,
a habit I suppose from serving in military.
Nicknamed Big John, missed death as a sentry in Guam
by just one hour --
relieved of post before another throat slit,
a nameless brother in arms I would not learn
until I was a man. I scribbled these musings
in secret journals, hollow words spun
in my corner booth for hours at mic’ed readings
where no one peruses the printed commitments
amid pregnant pauses.
My endless voice scratchings echo an arena choked --
with tears in my eyes not for him
but some liberal heart bleeding, actualize the purpose of
prose.
Irony of a life lived transcribed by a life not lived in his shadow.
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