Answer Me Why

IAnswer Me Why

I struggle inside.
Each and every long drawn out day,
To find I know not what else to do.
My once strong heart now bleeds.
Troubled mind,
Seems to continually weep,
As I lay by my love's side.
So aware of your life's suffering,
Frustrated tears softly falling,
As they seem to always silently do.
I provide you, my angel,
Flowing, interminable love,
Asking this one cursed question,
A question of why.

We gaze into each other’s uncertain worn eyes,
Arms reaching for much needed strength,
Enduring a pain ridden ride.
I no longer have the right answers.
No healing words to provide your long battle,
Sick, precious body,
Frightened minds inner struggles.
Verse your pure loving soul,
Fighting every day to try and break free,
To only be well,
Yet, each waking moment
Forced to tread on, like me seeking answers,
To an aged, time tested question,
Pained question of why.

Many ill years have we seen pass us by.
Many times have I held,
Your dear searching eyes,
Trying to pass the might of my fire,
While inside my soul starts to cry.
I will fight for you always,
I will find your lost hope.
Seems evermore we must try
To find a cure for you love.
All we have is this retched decline,
Before my protective, scared eyes.
We wish for good times and shared laughter,
We wait for far away answers,
Lingering answers to why.

I once thought I forever was strong,
Resolved to carry both of us through,
Inner strength slowly chipping away,
As others tell us there’s nothing,
Nothing more they can do.
We have seen many my pink rose,
Each time hope held so high,
Then struck down so very low.
You rest your tired weary head,
On my troubled chest you feel warm,
Feel so safe by my side,
Sure arms holding you close,
While scared tears you do cry,
My mind's lost in bad dreams,
Dreams empty of why.

Vile word repeats in my mind,
Unanswered question of questions.
Why must it be one such as you,
Why can I do nothing,
When I’ve done so very much,
With so very little to ply.
Yet, in this,
I have helplessly failed.
Nothing more can I do.
Left with no more than questions to ask,
You drink from my life's waning force.
My words, love’s only able consoling.
My soul drowns, private sorrows,
Echoing unanswered questions,
Ringing questions of why.

Growing fears safely hidden,
I know I am your hearts guide,
The one that you reach for
To fight bravely inside,
To purge blight deep where it hides.
I conceal my own unending maelstrom,
Hiding the tears I have cried.
Never will you know this my sweet,
My one and only true love,
I will keep myself going,
As I know you would for me,
Together challenged by questions,
We’ll reach for the out of reach answers,
Grasp for the answers to why.

Much weighs on broad shoulders,
Seemingly strong will I portray.
Night after night holding you tight,
I wipe new shed tears right away.
Soft words bring you much needed sleep,
You rest in a soft bed of feathers,
When I quietly leave my dear bride,
Leave secretly dying inside,
With an outer shell that holds true,
It must for you my fair love,
And our search for damned answers.
Door closing gently behind me,
I again quest for what's unfairly hidden,
Must find our answers to why.

I sit often late in the night,
Many times so pathetically weak.
Once sure spirit now crumbling,
I try to will fading last strengths,
Please let me pass them to you.
Silent prayers, they reach no one.
Left alone with my thoughts.
Inner fears always rumbling,
I fall to scarred, shaking knees.
Confused tears wet my eyes.
And I scream in dark rage…
Always a cold listless sky,
Never having my answers,
No answers for why.

Just this long haunting question,
I struggle to find peaceful sleep.
Your warm body nestled against me,
Searching for hope left to keep.
Why can I not fight all your battles?
Why can I not be your Warrior Angel?
Why can I not banish your demons?
Why can I…not…win…this…one…fight?
A deep breath,
Another slow angry sigh.
Someone, I beg,
Renew my lost faith,
Answer one burning question,
Answer me
Why?

Written by:
Christopher Harris