Spirit Renewed Ch. 2/4

Chapter 2 of 4

The two concerts we did in Chicago were not up to my regular standard. The fans did not seem to notice and I did try and put on a good show. My mind was wandering, but the band covered for me. As soon as the concert was over and the autographs were signed, I hopped the plane to get to Kansas City. I had made the decision to at least try and contact Donna and try to get some kind of closure for that place in my heart.

We arrived at Kansas City International at 2:30 in the morning. As soon as I got to the room, I left a message for a wake up call at 9:00 and tried to get to sleep. Sleep finally took over and I dreamed of the old days.

I was actually up before the call. It was almost funny. Here I was, playing and singing to thousands almost every night, yet I was nervous over the thought of seeing someone from my past. Those thousands were strangers, I could not even remember their faces. Donna had been an important person to me. If I would let myself admit it, she was still important to me.

The limo ride allowed me to fret once again if I was doing the right thing. I might be making the biggest mistake of my life, but I really had to know. As we drew near to the town, I knew I had done all the worrying I could do and it wouldn’t matter anyway.

The house was just as I remembered it -- showing its age a bit now, and the gray trim was fading. But the flowerbeds were starting to show the promise of the blooms that resided in my memories. I went up to the porch and knocked on the door, then my whole body froze.

The woman in front of me was definitely Donna. The years had been good for her. She had gained a few pounds that had rounded out her figure, but her face was still the same. Her light brown hair was tied up into a bun and she was wearing a simple sundress. She still turned my head.

For her part, she was equally as shocked. “Jase!? Is it really you?”

“Donna! I was hoping to find you here. I had to come and see you.”

The hug I received took care of any doubts I had about her reaction.“Come in! I can’t believe you came back here after all these years. I know you’re a big star now, so why did you want to come back?”

“A bunch of small things that came together all at once. The last was ane-mail from a girl named Kelly that said her mother knew me. I talked to her and found out that her mother was named Donna. I hoped that it was you, but even if it wasn’t, I realized I needed to come and see you.”

I followed her into the dining room, where I sat down while she went and got us something to drink. We talked of how things had gone in our lives. She had been married for a very short time, but they both had decided that it would be better if they didn’t stay together. After that she had worked in the local bank until last year, when her parents had passed away. Her father had a heart attack shortly after her mother had died from cancer. Since then she had stayed home and only worked part time at the local library.

She asked about my personal life, and I told her that I really had not found anyone. The national rags had put me with several models, actresses and the like, but I had never found a woman who would be able to handle the schedule I had to keep. And I put the groupies rumor to rest immediately. I loved my fans, but not in that way. I started to ask about her daughter when the front door burst open.

“Mom? Did you know that there is a huge stretch limo out front…?” She rounded the corner to the dining area. She saw me sitting at the table and promptly collapsed onto the floor, landing on her butt. “You’re… but… you really… OH NO!”

When her legs gave out I had jumped up. Going over to her, I offered her my hand as she stared at me like I was a ghost. Her mother came in to make sure she was all right, trying to hold back a giggle in the process.

“When you get off the floor Kel, you should say hello to my very dear friend Jason Daniels.”

“Oh I know who he is, everybody in the world knows who he is. I just can’t believe that he is here.” She finally got her wits about her. “I am so happy to meet you in person.”

I let go of her hand and she looked at it like it had suddenly turned to gold. We finally got her to calm down enough to relax a bit and she started asking questions. She wanted to know everything there was to know about the rock star known as Jason Daniels.

Donna tried to get her to quit talking so much, but I told her I really didn’t mind. I dispelled the rumors, and corrected the tall tales she had heard. She finally left to change out of her school clothes and we were again alone.

“Donna, she is a beautiful young lady. She takes after you in so many ways.”

“Thanks. She has been the love of my life ever since she was born.”

“Do you think she has any plans for tomorrow night?”

“I doubt it. Her best friend will probably be staying over like she does every Friday. Why?”

“I thought she might want to come to the concert. This is the last stop before taking a well-deserved break. It will be taped for HBO and I thought she would like to see it. Of course she can bring her friend if she wants. But only if you will come as well.”

Kelly came back down stairs more composed than before. But she lost it quickly when I asked if her and her friend were available to come to the concert.

“We have been trying to get tickets for months. It was sold out within three hours. Of course I would love to go. Can I call Chrissie and tell her?”

As soon as Donna said yes, she jumped up and ran to the phone. We could hear the conversation from the living room as she told her friend that she had tickets. She came back in, “Chrissie would love to go, but she wants to know how I managed to get tickets. What can I say to her?”

I grinned over at Donna, “Just tell her that it helps to have a mother with connections in the music business.”

“Yeah, that would be so rad. I won’t tell her anything until the concert.” Then she bounced off to finish the conversation.

I stayed just long enough to make sure they knew where to come and how to get in past security. They were to be escorted backstage until just before the show when they would be taken to the front row.

I left there feeling better than I had for a long while. Donna and I had found that we were still friends after all this time, and Kelly was a wonder. For the first time in months, I was looking forward to the show.

The trio arrived in the late afternoon the next day. As soon as their ID’s were checked they were brought back to the waiting area. Both girls were speechless when they came in. They were introduced to the band and we gave them some tee-shirts and some other stuff that was there. Each of the guys in the band signed a promo poster for them, writing a personal message instead of just the name. Oscar, our bass player wrote “For Chrissie: One of the prettiest and sexiest girls I have seen on the entire tour. Love ya, Oscar.” Chrissie was embarrassed, but was beaming the entire time.

As the opening band started warming up, the ladies were escorted to front row center. When we came out on stage I spotted them standing and screaming in the front row, Donna was doing as much yelling as everyone else.

We all played better than we had for a long time. I guess that the excitement that I was projecting rubbed off on them and we were energized. During the performance of my most famous ballad, I moved to the front of the stage and sang it directly to the three of them. Donna’s eyes were misty and the girls were almost swooning. If the truth was known, I was a little misty myself. After the song I introduced Donna and the girls.

“Tonight I have a special guest here. This woman was instrumental in starting me on the path to where I am today. Stand up and wave Donna. Folks, she is a great friend and one hell of a keyboard player.”

Donna stood and waved to the crowd behind her. The cheering and noise was tremendous. Since I knew that this was the last concert and that they could edit it out of the special, I again appealed to the crowd.

“You guys want to see what we sounded like together way back in the beginning?” More cheering and clapping. “Donna, come up here for the encore.”

Amid the yelling and cheering, Donna made her way up to the stage. She whispered in my ear, “Jase, I should kick your ass for this.” Her voice did not sound like she meant it and her smile confirmed it. I gave the guys the song and the key and we launched the opening bars to one of the first songs Donna and I ever wrote together.

Within this city
Trapped in the walls of steel
I was searching for someone
One who could make me feel.

Naked I was feeling
Standing in the rain
Hurting from times before
And needing so much more
And finding nothing but pain.

And then you arrived
And I felt the healing begin
You told me that you loved me
From the rain you took me in.

It had been a minor hit on my first album and I had made sure Donna had gotten credit for co-writing it. While we were still together, we had sung it many times. She had not forgotten the lines and her voice, even though a little lower than before, was perfect. We nailed it, and for a moment I felt the joy I had when we started out. I could see she felt something as well. That was the close of the show, and as Donna exited with the band congratulating her, the girls were brought back to the dressing room. As we got through the door, Matt Wilson spoke up.

“Damn that was great, Donna. The crowd loved it. You have a hell of a set of pipes on you. Why didn’t you follow this lug and show him how to sing?”

“After he left, I had other responsibilities to deal with. I wanted to, but it just didn’t work out.”

While the band continued to talk, I dropped into a chair. Some rapid calculations confirmed what the ‘responsibility’ was. Kelly was just over 16, and I had been gone just under 17 years. Kelly had her mother’s maiden name. The realization washed over me and I started to shake. Donna seen me sitting there, and must have guessed that I had figured it out.

The band headed out. Most were anxious to start their break. The girls came in congratulating Donna for having the guts to get up on stage. Kelly looked at her mother in a new light, realizing that her regular ol’ mom could have been a major star. I asked the girls if they wanted to see the behind the scenes, and then asked my stage manager to take them up so they could watch the load out.

Finally, it was just Donna and I in the room. She looked at me with shame and fear in her eyes. I started with the biggest question that was nagging at me. “Is Kelly my child?”

Donna looked down and nodded. I exploded. “Why didn’t you tell me? Didn’t you think that I had a right to know? I just thought that you didn’t want me around because you found someone else. When you didn’t write me back, I was so depressed that I didn’t care any more. And now I find out that you had my child and I have missed out on all the things she did growing up. I can never get the time back. Did you think that I was so into myself that I didn’t care?”

Donna was crying openly now. Her body shook with heavy sobs. When I saw this my anger drained. The hurt was still there, but it took a backseat to the pain I was causing her. I kneeled on the floor in front of her. Using my hand, I lifted her face so she was looking at me. “Please Donna. Just help me to understand.”

“I wanted to tell you. I kept it a secret from my parents as long as I could. But they figured it out and forbade me to even write to you. By then you were on your way and I couldn’t bring myself to possibly damage your career. Out of all of us, you were the one that could really make the big time. Then I met Arthur. He was much older and my parents approved of him. We got married out of convenience, though I thought I could learn to love him for real. That was why we divorced. He refused to share, and I was still in love with you.

Kelly has no idea. She knows that her father was my high school sweetheart, but she also knew that my parents would not allow any discussion about it. By the time she was seven she quit asking. Without my parents knowing, I did list you as the father so she would be able to find out some day. I’m sorry if I hurt you, but I was young and scared and my parents were so demanding. I hope you can forgive me.”