My Mornings with Her

I had to open my 17-month old daughter, Briana’s door this morning to wake her. She sat right up and looked at me, sleep still in her eyes. Then she smiled and instantly looked around for her pacifier. She also has a spare pacifier that she scours the crib for until she finds it. I know I should pick her up and get her ready as I am running late as it is but I can’t help but watch her point and babble. She knows what she’s saying; I just have to try and decipher her words. I always love this part of the morning and never rush through it, hoping to remember it when she’s a teen, in her 20’s, in her 30’s and beyond. I gaze at her round tiny face and tell her that she is so beautiful. I love the feel of her body in my arms and the smell of her sweet shampooed hair. Now comes the task of getting her dressed. She lets me pull her hands through the arm holes in her shirt and put her feet through her pants as she continues to babble. The house is quiet except for our conversation. I talk to her as I continue to get ready for work. It sounds like she says “fishes” as she stands in front of the tank and watches them swim.

Finally it’s time to go. I grab my purse, scoop her up in my arms and balance my bag in the other hand with my coffee. I maneuver through the bi-fold door and latch it behind me, unlock the outer door pull it open and lock it. Then pull it closed as I step through the screen door. Outside I try to hike her back up on my hip and get to the car as fast as I can before I drop my purse or bag or, God forbid, my coffee. At the car, I put my bag on the ground and set my coffee on the roof and open the door. She’s still talking in her words as I belt in her in the car seat and give her some cereal to eat on the way. We play Elvis every morning and she bee-bops her head back and forth to the music. I tip the rear view mirror so I can watch her. We talk on the way to the sitters. She says “bus” as we drive by the school. Her pure, blue, wide-opened eyes absorb everything out the window, trees, houses, trucks and cars. I cherish these rides even though I hate to leave her and wish I could be home with her. But I know it is a necessity and she is well-cared for and loved and she is always in my mind.